An Open Letter to Jon by Silimom

I don't know why I'm moved to do this. That's not true. I do know. You have 8 beautiful kids who are being continually messed up by your and Kate's self centeredness and they deserve better.

I hear tell you're planning on settling with TLC and perhaps are willing to negotiate allowing your children to be filmed again. You've made a number of poor choices this past year, Jon. Don't make another one.

I do not fault you for trying to work out your differences with TLC. But don't sacrifice your children to do it.

(Continued)

Thank you Silimom.

39 comments:

Silimom said...

It was heartening to see you out and about with Kevin. I'm glad you seem to be staying in contact with them. Granted, I do not know them personally, only what I've seen on television and read in the media and on Julie's blog, and we all know that those mediums are one sided and can distort the truth, however they seem like reasonable, level headed people and I hope you turn to them for advice, along with your former pastors. These are people who have your best interests at heart. Listen to their guidance and wisdom.

You have an opportunity here Jon. An opportunity to grow and mature and become the person God designed you to be. I think you have a lot of negative self talk based on the major relationships you've had in your life. You're aware of that or at least you've made noises to that effect. Ok great, so you know why you are where you are at this point in your life. But the reality is Dad's gone, Kate's gone. It's a new page in your book - what are you going to write on it? Because now you're the one who's responsible for what gets written (IMO you always were).

Silimom said...

If I were you, I'd do the following:

1) As much as it depends on you, be at peace with all people. Try and work out your differences with TLC. But don't sacrifice your kids to do it. TLC can only hold you until the end of your contract. Then you're free to do and say what you want.

2) Again, as much as it depends on you, be at peace with Kate. She does enough underhanded trash talking to the kids about you, I'm sure. Don't rise to the bait. She is the kids' mother. If she's being abusive, speak the truth in love and protect your children, but always honor her role as their mother and show the kids you do. Kids are smart. They will pick up on the differences between both of your behaviors.

3) Align yourself with child advocacy groups, like A Minor Consideration. You can support those organizations and still honor your contract with TLC. And you can share your story - you just can't get paid for it. So meet with some congressional leaders, advocate for better protections for children in reality television. Be the face of this cause. It's a hot button topic right now. And you can make a difference in the field. You need to repair your image, Jon. This would be a big first step. Then, any comments that TLC or Kate make can just bounce off because people will see by your actions that they're not true. Just stay the course.

4) Move back to Pennsylvania. Kate is getting ready to do her big new book tour. As someone said, she's done her holiday photo ops. Now she's ready to get out of dodge. So move back home, rent a house and when it's your turn with the kids, take them over to your place. Unless it's stipulated that you can't do that in your custody agreement, there's not much Kate can say. And if she does, petition the court. No one has proven you to be an unfit parent. When she's out of town, offer to have the kids with you,

Yes, it will be a lot of work. But they're all older now. They can do a lot of things on their own. Set up clear boundaries, rules, and expectations and while they may complain and fight it they will come around if you are consistent.

And it doesn't mean you have to stop seeing your current girlfriend. She's moving to Washington, which isn't too far away. If she's a good person, and if she's meant to be, she'll understand and will do her best to be a part of your and the kids lives.

Jon, I hope you read this or someone you know does and sends it to you. You are a good person, you have a good heart and you need to get back on track. So, go to church, move back to PA, get involved in children's advocacy, use your experiences to help others not make the same mistakes (which is frankly what your new career should be, at least for now), and first and foremost BE THERE FOR YOUR KIDS. Always remember, when they give you a hard time, who the adult is in the situation.

The adult is you, Jon. What are you going to write on that page?

MommyinCa said...

Bravo, Silimom! I hope Jon sees this and takes it to heart. If he spent any time perusing this site, he'd know that the majority of moms here still hold out hope for him. I for one think he was abused by Kate and cannot fault him for wanting to run to someone who would give him the love he deserves. However, he is still an adult and still needs to man up and protect his kids FIRST and foremost.
Jon, if you read this, please know that whatever TLC is doing to you, whatever Kate is doing to you, whatever the media is saying about you, you STILL are the kids father and they NEED you. They need one level headed stable God centered person in their life. This is what we see from the outside. Regardless of anything else going on, your children will count on you for love and protection. I know you are capable of this, Jon. Ask yourself what your father would have done?

Brummygirl said...

Such a heartfelt letter Silimom, well done.
I wish we knew how to get this to Jon. I too am hoping that if any of his family read this blog, they will copy and forward it.

Laurie said...

Well said Silimom. I love to read your comments both here and on Z's blog.

Jon - We see how much the kids love you just from the joy on their faces when they see you. Don't betray them. Be there for them, love them and above all PROTECT them. Do not let TLC and kate win. Hold your ground and do not allow them to be filmed again.

stopthemadness said...

If only Jon would take these words to heart, however the more sensible and heart felt the advice is the less I think either Jon or Kate would be inclined to follow it.

Jon has little credibility as a child advocate - he exploited his kids in that show and then jerked the cameras out, whether he did that for the kids sake or partly motivated by a desire to get back at TLC and or Kate I don't know... if he could prove himself to really care about that issue or anything but his own partying and womanizing he might make an effective advocate but he's not very articulate.
If he was to move back to be near his kids or just be near them and be with them and support them, and keep his nose clean, that would be a good start. They need at least one stable parent whose love and consistent rules they can count on.

Jane in California said...

That was so beautiful Silimom. I truly hope Jon reads it somehow and takes your words to heart.

Yes, we are hearing murmurings that he may reconsider and let TLC film the children again. Above all else Jon - don't go down that road again. If you do, as far as I'm concerned, you will be unredeemable in my eyes. The first time you sold your kids' privacy, I can find an excuse in that you didn't know what you were doing, didn't fully comprehend the toll it would take on your children and your marriage.

But now you know. To allow this again, in full knowledge, would be so much worse than the first time. It would be leading your children into the lion's den, and telling them, "sorry, but I need the money kids. Hope you survive."

N.E. Psychologist said...

Silimom - very well stated. I just want to add:

Jon, many people who you have never and will never meet support your decision to stop filming your kids and hope you will not cave to the licentious channel and your ex wife. We would like yor children to grow up
physically and emotionally healthy, with privacy and love. We believe that you can do alot to provide that for them.
We are not rich or famous, but we're okay. We have made mistakes. We've taken responsibility for our choisces and ultimately our lives are self defined. We have good times and not so good times, but overall life is good.
We wish the same for you and your children.

NancyB said...

Silimom,
So very well said! I am very glad you thought to do this. I think there may be the chance that your letter gets passed on to him. Let's hope so.

Hard to Keep Loving Jon said...

Thank you, Silimom.
You spoke for all of us.

silimom said...

Thanks mods, for posting my letter. :-) I don't know if it will reach him or make a difference, but I really appreciate having this forum to get my thoughts and feelings off my chest. You all do a great job and I want to thank GWOP and everyone here for the insights and perspectives and helping me see what was truly behind the "realest reality show on television". My viewing habits have changed considerably since finding this sight - it made me stop and think and realize that what I watch sends a message whether I intend it to or not.

chronicworld said...

Thank you Silimom. Beautifully put. I hope Jon sees it and takes it to heart.
I would simply add again what we've pretty much all said in one way or another.
Jon, I can tell by the looks on your childrens' faces how much they love you. I can see how much you love them. If you have that, you have a firm foundation to build everything else on.
Stay close to them; they need their daddy nearby even if it's not your custody time. Listen to them when they need to talk to you.
As Silimom said, it would be great if they could come over to your house for a change. They would feel safe and happy at Daddy's.
The nine of you keep the wagons in a circle and stay close and keep loving each other. You can do this, Jon. You can do this because you love your children and that will make you strong.
There are plenty of good people from before you were famous who can help you. You are not alone.

cossysmom said...

Jon, I'm hoping you will see this post. You need to know that there are many, many people that support you as a kind and loving dad. You are entitled to happiness for yourself, but please think about what steps you are taking. When you became a dad, your children became your priority. Please make your decisions with them in mind. One last thing, you have an opportunity that many of us do not. You can become a public voice for children. While that may not pay the bills, you also have the opportunity to make something of yourself away from the cameras. You have many contacts and many choices. Why not start a business--something that would bring you joy. Don't look to celebrities to lead you down the right path. Do what you love. Become in involved in sports (snowboarding, soccer...) in some way. Open a store. Launch a modest spots magazine for children. Eventually, when they're older, some of your children will want to be involved. Above all, think of your children first. They've had a lot to deal with this past year. They need you--their dad--to be in their corner. Talk to Paul Peterson. Let him help you to do the right thing--for your children.

WhoDidWhatFirst said...

Brummygirl said...
Such a heartfelt letter Silimom, well done.
I wish we knew how to get this to Jon. I too am hoping that if any of his family read this blog, they will copy and forward it.
-----------------------------------

I, too, thought it was well worded but even if Jon were to receive it I doubt that he would heed any of the advice in it. I think that Jon is one of those people who has never shown a tendency toward a good work ethic. I think he enjoys his 24/7 vacation status. Since the divorce mess began he has never looked for a "normal" job, driven a "normal" vehicle nor found a "normal" girlfriend.

We keep hearing that TLC has kept him from earning a living yet not earning a living hasn't deterred him from wracking up the frequent flyer miles between coasts and even Hawaii. How many people live like that? None that I know of unless they are some famous sports personality or actor and even they work part of the time.

I think the fact that I so disliked Kate made me a fan of Jon but when I think of it I can see no redeeming qualities in him either.

I hope I haven't offended anyone here but name one endearing quality he possesses. I have always felt he is the better parent and still do but then we have to remember that is only on a part-time basis.

This life style of the rich and famous that he has decided to embrace just can't be overlooked.

be cool said...

I hope he keeps the kids off the air.

Go back to school. Just do anything-short term /random course course get a certificate of some sort.

This is what you lost in your
20's, so go get this back.

KyPastor said...

I have a parishoner who left her husband because of an abusive situation. After a year, she has actually thought about going back.

I have talked to her repeatedly, each time telling her that the situation will not get better. If it was bad before, it's going to be bad again. That I will almost guarantee. I have told her she is free to do whatever she wants, but if her expecations are for a quiet, peaceful home, her expectations will be shattered.

I might offer the same counsel to
Jon Gosselin about any return to his TV show for himself or his children. It will not be better this time than it was before. I ask that he consider that.

Bubbles said...

Jon doesn't have the best interests of the kids at heart. I used to think there was hope for him and after a few months of his floundering he'd bring it back around, but he hasn't, and I don't think he will. I hope he won't cave on the filming issue but it won't surprise me if he does. Jon's concern is Jon, Kate's concern is Kate, and it's only all of us who don't have the power to do anything that have real concern for the children. I have no doubt Kate is narcissistic but I think maybe Jon is just really dumb and easily led astray. It's sad.

Good letter, though, sillimom...I agree with it wholeheartedly. Too bad it will probably fall on deaf ears if it ever actually reached it's intended recipient.

Jane in California said...

WhodidWhatFirst said:
I hope I haven't offended anyone here but name one endearing quality he possesses. I have always felt he is the better parent and still do but then we have to remember that is only on a part-time basis.
* * *

No, you have as much right to your own opinion as any of those who post here, and I respect your opinion. I can also see why you have such an opinion of Jon, because he's made so many foolish choices and decisions that sometimes I want to pull my hair out.

However, I would only like to rebut the "part time" comment. Yes, now that he and Kate are divorced, he is part-time because of the custody agreement they arrived at. We don't know if Kate pushed for giving him less than 50% or why they reached the agreement they did.

However, during their marriage, Jon was first a working dad, then when he got home, he took over the parenting duties. After awhile, when Kate wanted to travel and promote her book, he became a SAHD and was the full time parent.

He's definitely been a hands on dad from day one.

MomofFour said...

I don't keep up with the Gosselins much...and it has been wonderful. I came by for a quick update and how disappointing. I had the feeling they were addicted to all the attention and once it stopped they'd want it back. They don't care what it does to their children as long as they get attention and money. Can you already the writing on the wall in 10 years? Those kids are going to be followed and plastered all over the tabloids all their lives because their parents were idiots.

Their reputations are so ruined I can't imagine either having a career from it. No responsible parent looks at this family and thinks they are an inspiration or a good example of a good family life. They are exactly the opposite. The kids were getting so spoiled and bratty I didn't like watching them at all toward the end and stopped.

Lets hope Jon does not open that ugly box back up. Lets hope he doesn't get greedy for the money and lets them have their privacy. I'm sure Kate has been manipulating him and brainwashing the kids to manipulate him into it...show a spine, Jon!

Mose said...

MomofFour said...
The kids were getting so spoiled and bratty I didn't like watching them at all toward the end and stopped.
______
This is true. Kids are a prodcut of their enviroment and who know what the kids heard and saw off camera.

Even if the show comes back, I think the fans of the kids will be disappointed with the tups being older-both in age and behavior.

Look at LTC's website, they are recruiting families with trplets or higher..

Tamara said...

One of the main memories about Jon that too often sticks out to me is his role in cupcakegate. He was the one grabbing those prison issue plates out from those boys and yelling at them that they hadn't eaten enough. People seem to forget he was there too. Not just at cupcakegate, but a lot of other times. Including every time Khate beat one of those children. Kids often end up hating the parent who did nothing over the one who abused them. Loving your kids more than their mother is not enough to be a good father. Grow the hell up. Be a GOOD father. Be an adult. For those eight kids. Mady, Cara, Joel, Collin, Alexis, Aaden, Leah, and Hannah. Don't worry about Khate or the media crap. You have only 8 people in the world you need to worry about. So far, you have put way too many people ahead of them. Including yourself.

Quiet Jon Supporter said...

Sillimom - great open letter. Hope it gets to Jon.

Jon - Many, many people do see you as a loving, kind and caring dad who likes to hang out and spend time with his kids. You are in a unique position now to be there for them. Please don't throw them to the wolves of TLC - let them enjoy their childhoods.

If you wrote a book, started a magazine, became a speaker for a child advocacy group, etc. - MANY of us out here would support your efforts.

Gimme Gimme said...

I remember when I was still a fan of the show and had no clue what potty mouths J&K were, the time Aaden said I can't see sheep (and it sounded like something else), I was thinking it couldn't have been...where would he have heard that? Things have really turned around since then huh. Too bad things went so bad so fast...after the move it was just awful. I could never watch the kids in the same light again and cannot even enjoy the re-runs because of what I now know. What a missed opportunity that was...that she actually thought she could destroy the family and keep the fan base.

goawyJandK said...

Tamara,

You are absolutely right, Jon was/is just as guilty as K8.

BUT.......JMO, so many of us WANT those kids to have a loving parent, a parent who laughs with them , a parent who LOVES them. Jon was/is that parent. I have always held out a glimmer of hope for Jon, I guess only time will tell.

Gimme Gimme said...

I feel like Jon being a victim of abuse himself did whatever he could to keep the peace in that if he did intervene it would make it far worse. How many times did we hear her tell the kids not to listen to him that he didn't know what he was talking about.

Knowing now how very bad things were for him from her most recent comments (and her nickname for him), I am quite certain that what we saw on film was nothing compared to the rest of it and things are much worse than anyone ever imagined.

I quite actually would have never thought that of her, up until now, especially that she would feed something like that to the press. The fact that he is the father of her kids means nothing to her; he was just her Asian sperm donor, apparently.

fidosmommy said...

Gimme Gimme said.....

Knowing now how very bad things were for him from her most recent comments (and her nickname for him), I am quite certain that what we saw on film was nothing compared to the rest of it and things are much worse than anyone ever imagined.


*******

Oh, I agree! Everyone has something that a spouse might complain about to friends (can't find the clothes hamper, won't mow the grass, whatever) but to complain PUBLICLY about a physical feature such as that (!) is beyond reprehensible.

If that is an example of what life was like with Kate Gosselin, Jon
can be counting his blessings that
he's out of there.

Bluesclues said...

Gimme Gimme said...
I feel like Jon being a victim of abuse himself did whatever he could to keep the peace in that if he did intervene it would make it far worse. How many times did we hear her tell the kids not to listen to him that he didn't know what he was talking about.
________
In front of the kids AND infront of camera crew, production staff and friends (beth,Kevin etc)

She constantly belittled him, him, made light of things he said and disrespected him.

To be discounted like that is abusive.

I hated how she would laugh at him when he spoke and then look at the camera, as if seeking validation for her behaviour from the production staff. (who would have enjoyed the juicy footage)

He was supposed to be husband, man of the house and father, leader, but she treated him like a hired clown.

22Starz said...

Bluesclues...
I hated how she would laugh at him when he spoke and then look at the camera,as if seeking validation for her behaviour from the production staff.

You hit the nail on the head.Kate did this over and over again.I couldnt imagine the humilation(sp)that Jon must have felt.She did this on camera without thinking twice about it.I shudder to think what life was like for them when the cameras were off and she a few glasses of wine in her.

Jon needs to remember how he felt and he needs to bust his ass in stopping this from happening to his children.Those kids are not old enough to walk away and they have NO ONE to turn to.All they have ever seen is MOMMY has control.No ONE will tell MOMMY No..Mommy is the boss.They have been hit and denied a drink of water on tape with several other adults around and no one did ANYTHING!Those kids will never tell anyone anything because no one has done anything to help them.

And Jon...if you think your contract with tlc was iron clad before...just wait for this next one if you let them flim the kids again.You'll be lucky if your allowed to breathe!
Sorry to say,you are not a celeb with a lifetime of being in the spotlight.Dont film the kids...write a tell all book...invest the money wisely and you'll be able to live a comfortable life with your children.You'll have the most important thing you can ever hope for...Your kids love and respect!

Hard to Keep Loving Jon said...

Well, she's outdone herself with the ultimate disrespect of all! (Making which one look small?)

Good one, Khate...

Bet the children will truly respect your for this one!

*)*_+ said...

And Jon...if you think your contract with tlc was iron clad before...just wait for this next one if you let them flim the kids again.You'll be lucky if your allowed to breathe!
___________________________
OMG i didnt even think of this.
Of course! If they got their hands on the kids again, they would make sure they had control over them until they were finished with them.
Gotta to compensate for hair extensions, falied pilots,,,

Don't do it Jon.

Laurie said...

Jon needs money + Kate wants more money = kids are needed to make them money!

There is no doubt in my mind that the kids will be filmed again. However, the kids are no longer "cute babies/todlers". They are now almost 6. They are no cuter than your average kid that age. You can dress them alike all you want kate but that will not make them any cuter nor will it make them identical. The are individuals now. No one wants to watch their whining, hitting, and general "spoildness" any more. Filming them now will only make them targets for teasing at school since the tape is edited to show them at their worst - at least I hope it is as I'd hate to think that you've raised them to act like that. Do you care?

Drama Queen said...

How come getting a job that doesn't involve the exploitation of either their children or marriage is never on Jon and Kate's agenda?

If Jon lets them film the kids again, that proves that he only pulled the plug in the first place because of spite and money. Those poor kids!

MabelD said...

BREAKING: Jon Gosselin and TLC Settle Lawsuit

All terms of the settlement are confidential. The whole Gosselin family remain under contract with TLC,” TLC said in a statement released Wednesday.

mep said...

MabelD said...
All terms of the settlement are confidential. The whole Gosselin family remain under contract with TLC,” TLC said in a statement released Wednesday.
____
Shaking my head.

I guess once the kids are filming, Jon is entitled to some of the earnings. He can "be a dad" AND snow board all day long.

Kate- well i gave up on her long ago.Its so nice Stevie will be able to stay and the kids will get their film crew back.

hooey said...

You can dress them alike all you want kate but that will not make them any cuter nor will it make them identical."

I second. They are all average looking at best. Plus on the footage we see they are stressed, ill mannered or zombied looking ( the look you get when you know mom or dad is very angry)

same said...

You can dress them alike all you want kate but that will not make them any cuter nor will it make them identical.
__________________
Gods if 2 or 3 of them were identical i think that katie irene might have imploded with glee.

Vanessa said...

If those kids get back on tv, yes it will be sad to watch. They will either show them at their worst OR will show them trying to be their best with Khate the Fake playing the part of loving mother.
Remember the last few episodes?
The backyard camping? Having herself surrounded by all her "babies" in the tent? Her boys having become "men"? All that sickening sweetness she was trying to squeeze out of herself (where none exists) was hard to watch.
People will watch to see her fail and tune out quickly, no doubt about it. They're still trying to tweak the show for her? BECAUSE she's got NOTHING, NADA, ZIP!
Either they are throwing out distractions to the public...dating show, cooking show, travelling show, dirty jobs kind of show...OR they really had these things lined up and during the process found that she bombed.

flaming said...

Too Late.

Jon sold his kids to TLC again.

He never tried hard enough to protect his children. If he really cared about his children, he would not have made friends with scums like Michael Lohan, Hailey, and Kate 2.0. Those people backstabbed Jon and made Jon look really bad. It's hard for him to win anything in court.

He didn't even try hard enough to find a decent lawyer. His lawyer is like what? His manager's dad? Please! The manager pimped him out for degrading projects such as getting sucker punched on Access Hollywood. Bad PR move all around. Think the lawyer dad care?

Did he sign with that manager because the lame manager can get him into the hip clubs for free and introduce girls to him? Come on! Use your brain, Jon.

SkippyMom said...

I appreciate y'all are trying to reach out in the interest of the kids but how many times does this need to be said/rehashed/brought up AGAIN.

Y'all are talking to a brick wall - your words are heartfelt and understood, but honestly? GWOP needs to find new material when the pond goes stagnant.

Thank god Kate ended up on DWTS or this blog might've had to been shut down for lack of gossip.

And no I am not a sheeple or even like these two idiots - I just think that you need to find something else to BEG the Gosselins to do via blog.