Did Kate Inspire Octuplets?

Moderator's Note: This blog entry, along with all its comments, has been moved to our new sister site, Suleman Without Pity. Comments for this blog entry are now closed, but you may continue discussing this blog entry at its new location.


Are there not TV “reality” shows depicting the intimate details of the lives of men, women and children for the entire world to ogle; including the enormously popular “Jon & Kate Plus 8” reality show on TLC? This thrice weekly program follows the daily routine of a family with eight small children. If Jon and Kate and their children are being made rich as a result of the shameless exploitation of their personal lives, why should an even more shameless unwed mother of 14 not be permitted to cash in? Is she not “entitled” to be rewarded for her efforts? Wouldn’t this be only “fair” in light of what she’s gone through?

Full Atlanta article is here.

Thank you, Laura.

The Big Move Recap

Commissioned from k8 is gr8.

The moderators at Gosselins Without Pity asked me to do a recap this week, “in the interests of fairness.” It’s about time, I say. Time to set you guys str8 about K8!

First, let me say that you guys are nothing but a bunch of jealous h8ters! The reason why you don’t like Kate Gosselin is because you want her life! You know, the great husband, all of those adorable kids, all of the kewl FREE stuff and now that beautiful HUGE house. I don’t see any of you getting your own television show, right? Didja ever ask yourselves why that might be?

I want to be just like Kate. I think she is everything a woman should be. I mean, think about it. She looks great, for one. I wish that I had the money in this terrible economy to go to a spa, to get my teeth whitened, to have Botox. Unfortunately, my husband and I both lost our jobs three months ago at DHL, so money is pretty tight. It’s not like I can go to Dear Hubby and say, “Hey, give me a couple of hundred for Botox shots.” We’re just trying to keep our oldest boy in college and make our mortgage payments! LOL.

One thing that I could do is get a haircut just like Kate’s. The only problem was, the girl at the Supercuts claimed she didn’t know what I was talking about. Can you imagine, a hairstylist who is supposed to be on the cutting edge of fashion, not knowing who America’s #1 Supermom is? That would be like saying you don’t know who Julia Roberts is! Kate Gosselin is a huge celebrity!It turned out okay, though, because the manager came over to my sourpuss hairstylist and whispered, “Remember the dude from A Flock Of Seagulls back in the day?” I didn’t know what that meant, but it must have been a magic phrase or something, because I wound up with Kate’s signature haircut! I’ll tell you, I had to go into town later on that day to fight for more unemployment benefits from the state, but I looked GREAT doing it!

Right. The recap. I’m not sure where to begin, exactly. As you bunch of jealous haters already know, Jon and Kate and the kids have a super new house! And you know what? They deserve it for working so hard to be America’s #1 Family Of Two Sets Of Multiples! The credits roll, and Kate assures us that it is “are life.” It’s so cute, the way that she says it. And you know what? She’s right. Her life IS “are life.” As Jon and Kate would say themselves, it’s through the magic of television! The Gosselins belong to all of us. We know more about their lives sometimes than we know about our friends and families! I mean, I’ve never seen little Bryson across the street take a poopy in the potty, and he’s four, but I have seen Joel, Aaden, and Hannah do it! We all even saw little Collin have a doody bubble pulled out of his little heinie. Magic moments like these make me feel like I really, really know the Gosselin gang!

Moving day! It’s hectic, especially with Kate in Los Angeles on business. I wonder how many celebrities she met. I’ll bet a bunch wanted to meet HER, America’s Supermom of Twins and Tups! I wonder if she got any spa treatments in L.A. I read about the spas in California all of the time in the gossip magazines as I check out at the Aldi. Kate used to shop at Aldi, you know. That’s why I switched over from Safeway. Anyway, for you meanies who say that it is BAD for the Gosselin kids to have the cameras in their house, just look at how those kids interact with the camera and sound guys! And if you ask me, Jon and Kate are both lucky, being that they are so busy and all, to have built-in babysitters like that! No one is going to let a kid get hurt if the cameras are rolling, right?

Things are getting pretty wild in the basement, with kids crawling over boxes and Alexis wanting the cameraman to watch television with her. That Alexis is so darned cute. She could be a kid model, or do pageants. I’ll bet that she doesn’t because she is a disturber. I hear that pageants don’t like disturbers! Alexis would have to score highly in swimsuit and eveningwear in order to overcome her low scores for being so naughty. Judges notice stuff like that.Time for Daddy Gosselin to lay down the law with the kids, as any Christian father would do. Jon yells at the children to “get down here NOW,” and that “we don’t slam doors at all!” He really hollers at the children at play. It makes perfect sense to me, why he shouts. You have six active four year olds, you have to scream at them on your lungs using your most hateful voice in order to get them to listen!

Well, as I told you guys, our family might be moving soon. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t be to a beautiful mansion on farmland, like Kate. More like, to my sister’s house in Nashville! LOL. Well, she did say that Fed Ex might be hiring this summer. Let me be the first to tell you that I really appreciated all of Jon and Kate’s packing and moving tips. So much so, that I jotted their words of wisdom down, word for word:“You don’t have to take everything in your house with you.” Boxes should be “precisely labeled,” “coded, with stickers, and marked.”“The beauty of moving: just pitch your trash. Doesn’t matter anymore.” Jon also helpfully spent several minutes giving a detailed description of how to place packed boxes in the garage and various rooms. It looked to me like those Gosselins had an awful lot of stuff to pack. I know you guys will “snark” on Jon’s advice, but I am grateful. When we moved into our current house back in 1986, we just shoved things into sacks, if at all, and just put stuff in the rooms willy-nilly. We’re still finding stuff here and there in our rooms about the Challenger disaster!

Alexis is nicknamed “Sassy,” but that’s what I secretly call Kate. Her sense of comic timing, her wry asides to the camera, her complete and total exasperation with her wacky husband (a comedian in his own right!), all of it adds up to One Sassy Mama. One Sassy Mama Of America’s Favorite Twins And Tups, that is! Here are a couple of her gems while dealing with The Goofier Sex: “Work, men! Work!” Meanwhile, there she stands, looking like a celebrity! LOL!“I got to tell men what to do.” You GO, girl! LOL! Now here is the most hilarious part of the episode: did you guys see the LOOK Jon gives his wife when she said that last bit? It was priceless!

You know, it reminded me of our old friends Ed and Carol. Ed used to give Carol looks like that when she talked, and we all used to laugh and laugh. It was funny, to watch married couples act that way! I mean, three thousand episodes of Hee Haw can’t be wrong, right? And remind me to give Carol a call. I hear she’s taken up drinking since the divorce.

One thing is for sure: Kate likes things CLEAN. She gets very upset with the prior owners of their beautiful big huge new house for not cleaning under their deep freezer. I don’t blame Kate for that. When our freezer broke last year, we had to have my husband and his work buddy haul it away because the food spoiled and we couldn’t afford a new one. Let me tell you, there was a real mess under there! Guess I’d been too busy working full time and raising my kids to think about that kind of dirt. It makes me admire Kate even more, that she could have all of those kids and remember it! The kids run and play on their new farmland, and it was so nice to see. You could tell that the camera and sound guys really enjoyed supervising the Gosselin tups. Pretty sweet job, if you ask me! After all, Kate and Jon were busy in the huge new house, installing essentials like fancy new shower heads, and supervising the cleaning crew that the camera didn’t exactly show. And wasn’t it funny when Jon did that Asian-type voice when he said, “massage showerhead” in the interview? I laughed and laughed. After all, it isn’t racism if you are part Asian yourself!

Now we get to what you bunch of jealous meanies call “Coupongate.” Well, who doesn’t use coupons in this tough economy? I know that I sure do. I had one the other day for Hamburger Helper and I bought as much as I could. Good thing that Hamburger Helper comes in so many flavors, or I would have a grouchy husband like Jon for sure (remember how grouchy Jon got when he was shelling seafood for the tups and twins at the beach house? LOL!). Here is my own household moneysaving tip, in case Jon and Kate are reading this: to stretch your family’s dollar, you can make Hamburger Helper with a can of kidney beans! That’s what we have been doing for the last month or so!

Kate, always one to mindful of the family budget while keeping up with current trends, tells all of us what I suspected all along: “I never, ever shop and buy items unless I have a coupon for each item.” One thing that I would love to know is, where did she get the coupons for those cute trendy tops she is wearing, like the one with the peace symbol, and the one that says, “Living the dream”? TLC, can you help us out here? I could use a couple of dreams to live right now. I know a lot of people who feel the same way.

Jon, goofy clueless man of a husband that he is, apparently bought some new showerheads for the brand-new huge beautiful house while he was out taking the tups to preschool. And you know men; no coupon, despite the fact that Kate has laid down family rules about using them! Kate gets very angry with Jon about this, and then tells the camera, “I’m gonna shoot him.” I laughed and laughed, as it was very funny, but then I thought of something: if Kate actually DID shoot Jon, she could totally get her own episode of Snapped!

I can’t really do what happens next any justice, so I will just let the words of America’s #1 All-Time Favorite Mom speak for themselves. They were so funny, I wrote them down word for word:“Give me the receipt, right now!” (You GO, girl!)“We don’t buy things unless we have a coupon! Period, end of story!”“You let that man out of the house, and that’s what happens!”“Tell me where the receipt is!”“You’re not buying anything anymore!”“Annoying, annoying, beyond annoying!”“What is the rule about receipts?”“I was infuriated.”

Here was the best part of Coupongate: Alexis was right there, in the background, hearing the whole thing. You know, Kate really is a wonderful mother. She knows that you can never start training girls soon enough to be loving, Christian wives to their husbands. Kate is such a wonderful example of married motherhood. America’s #1 Super Mega Multiples Mom, that is!

Well, I had better wrap this up. Dear Hubby is heading home from looking for work. He sounded discouraged. Too bad he refuses to watch this show, as it’s Pure Sunshine, compliments of the magic of television. No, he doesn’t seem to like Kate Gosselin much. In fact, I have heard him say some things about her that made me think he has been hanging out at Gosselins Without Pity! LOL.

My hope is that one day I can meet Kate Gosselin. I’ll get my ‘do done just like hers, and tell her that it’s my dream to someday have another daughter, who I will name “Keight”! Just for her, of course. I’m sure Kate will love it.

Until then, I’m off to find some coupons for that “Living The Dream” shirt.