Taking A Moment To Talk About The Kids

We received this post by e-mail from a 15 year old young lady who thought we should share a teen point-of-view. We agree.

With all of this attention on Jon and Kate and their marriage, I can’t help but wonder what their kids, especially Cara and Mady are going through. I could only imagine what pain and heartache they are enduring. I’m sure it is an awkward feeling for them to be walking into school, having all of your classmates know about your parents personal life. At my school I am known as the “Jon and Kate plus 8 freak.” Everyday I am asked about how I feel about the controversy regarding Jon and Kate. My response is always “I don’t care what happens to them, but I truly care about what will happen to their children.” I sit at home many days thinking what Mady and Cara are going through. Their parents need for fame and greed has truly ruined their lives. I also think about the sextuplets who recently turned five. What do they know? How have their lives changed? I know at the beginning Jon and Kate’s sole priorities were their children, but it has dramatically changed to money. With a few stupid and selfish decisions, Jon and Kate have ruined their and their children’s lives. I wish Cara, Mady, Alexis, Hannah, Aaden, Collin, Leah and Joel the best, and that one day they can live without cameras pointing in their face and with two dedicated and loving parents.

~From a teen’s point of view

130 comments:

Laurie said...

Wow, out of the mouths of babes...no truer words have ever been spoken. Your parents should be proud of the child that they are raising.

judy said...

What an insightful young woman this person is!
Her post brought tears to my eyes. If a child (no offense at the term, if you're reading this, hon) can see the PAIN that J & K have caused their children, how is that ADULTS cannot? I'm sure $$$$$$$$$ clouds judgement! It's so upsetting. It would be cool to have an "online" time capsule to post messages now that the kids can read when they are older so they know that people were trying to help them and truly cared for them :)

TpoV said...

Thanks for the comments! I really appreciate it.


~Teen's Point of view

Annies said...

Thanks Maggie for posting this post from a very smart teenager who probably is more objective than most folks.

Maybe she should interview Kate for People Magazine!

MamaJane said...

Out of the moiths of babes, indeed, and amen. Thanks to the Gosselin 8 for telling us week after week that something was really wrong in that home, and thanks for this bright young woman for speaking truth.

Denise said...

If only Jon and Kate were as insightful as this young lady.

SaNdY said...

Very well said! As a 15 year old, you know how important it is to accepted by your classmates, and what a strain it is to be 'different' than your peers...my heart bleeds for Mady, Cara and their little sisters and brothers...

nanasez said...

This was written by someone who will make a wonderful mother one day!

Cherier1 said...

What a caring and loving young lady you are!

I hope my daughters are as insightful and compassionate as you are when they are your age.

TPoV said...

nanasez,

You comment really touched me as I want to be a teacher and I want to have a big family (but don't worry, I will NEVER follow in J & K's footsteps)

These comments are really putting a smile on my face and it is good to know I am not the only one.

~Teen's Point of view

I'm just sayin said...

Wow! Are you sure that you are 15?
You are VERY WISE beyond your years. Keep up good and postive thoughts through out your life. The best to you.

ThePaginator said...

Smart kid. Your parents should be very proud of you.

TVsnark said...

Thank you for showing us that today's youth has people who care about more than themselves and fame.

You are AWESOME!!

Go Teen! said...

Wouldn't the Gosselins children benefit having our young writter as a babysitter? Keep up the good thoughts Miss!

readerlady said...

Wow! A wise and compassionate young lady with more sense than many of the (alleged) adults involved in this sorry mess. Honey, keep that big heart of yours open and keep that wise attitude and you'll have a successful life. God Bless.

ratsgoboom said...

I agree with this bright girl as well. Both my sister and I have discussed the toll this must have on the children. I can only hope that someone is stepping in and providing them with the caring and love that they deserve. I hope their parents, either together or divorced, realize that their children are more important than fame and fortune.

Jana said...

That was a beautiful essay from that teenager.

kate is a cocky bitch said...

this is the best article on KON that I have ever read. The children are what matterss. And mark my words when season 5 premieres on TLC it will be the highest rated ep in the entire history of the season. I will NOT watch it and urge everyone else to boycott out of respect for the kids.

Gloria said...

Wow! Wise beyond her years. Wiser than many much older than she. Especially the parents of these children. Imagine if they truly acted upon their statement that their focus is centrally on their children, instead of squarely on themselves, as their actions show us. You've got a good head on your shoulders, TpoV.

karrieann said...

i hear a roar of applause! you are a very insightful young lady.

Kon is Wrong said...

This seems to be Beth's comment!

Kon is Wrong said...

I could say that I feel bad for either Jon or Kate, but I feel bad for both of them. It is like an Aesop's fable and the moral of the story is...don't sell your family for money or fame.

It is like the whole fable is being portrayed before our lives...like the tortoise and the hare...

As my Dad always told me...never sacrifice your family for money. The small things are what matters.

sueshe said...

So well said. My parents divorced when I was a teen, and it was one of the most painful events in my life. The fights were awful. And it wasn't over in day, the pain was there for a very, very, long time.
I do wish the kids the best in this difficult time.

goawayJandK said...

Obviously YOUR parents have done/are doing a wonderful job raising you.

It is sad how a teen can see the pain and damage being done to those poor kids, but SO MANY of adult sheeple cannot.

Not THAT Kate said...

This columnist writes "Clearly there are ten pre-teen children in the Jon and Kate Gosselin household, because the adults are seemingly a couple of diapers short of a laundry load."

http://www.vancouversun.com/news/Kate+Plus+cheating/1592992/story.html

Wendy said...

I hope Mady and Cara have friends like you in their life right now. Heck, I'd like you for a friend, too! Thanks for being my morning inspiration.

KonNoMore said...

Thank you young lady for your great insight. Good Morning to All and I am just hoping for a Jon and Kate free day in the media.

scraptordelight said...

Well said! Recently I've come to realize that Mady not a total brat,-- she has been responding in the only way she knows how to a home life that has been seriously messed up far longer than anyone thought. She is clearly not holding back, and her comments regarding Kate have been increasingly contemptuous. The one I really worry about is Cara. She is so quiet and tries so hard to be good that when that rage explodes they're going to have a mess on their hands. Hopefully J & K will realize that the only reason anyone cares about them is because of the kids and refocus their priorities in time to salvage the children's childhood.

AnneMarie said...

Very well said.

But, I don't think money changed them. I believe it brought out their true colours. Sadly, they created children to abuse the system and then in turn exploited the children.

An all around mess.

Hambone said...

Bravo!

PAmama said...

I agree with Mady acting out her frustrations and pain. Hopefully the twins have someone they can talk to at school for comfort since home isn't doing it.

AnneMarie said...

Oh, and I had something repeating in my head this morning.

Jon's parting words on last season, "We'll see."

At the time it sounded like a normal-I'm tired of doing this, we/I may not be back for more of this crap, season ending teaser.

The more I replay that in my head, the more it sounds like a threat to Kate - You go ahead and drag this into another season and you'll see what Heck I can bring on.- That episode aired and the poo started hitting the fan.

Interesting.

stunned said...

Huffington Post, a political online newspaper with small entertainment section, has picked up this story. Comments are definitely anti Kate.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/05/13/jon-kate-may-split-she-ad_n_202956.html

Dew said...

What a very thoughtful and insightful post. It's refreshing that even a 15-year-old gets it. It's also quite sad that even a 15-year-old knows this should stop for those children, and not the children's own parents.

Anonymous said...

You are a very wise girl. One word of comfort for you to hold on to. Kids are amazingly resilient. The Gosselin children are intelligent, open and loving children. There are a lot of people who want these kids to make it. There will be influences in their lives that cannot be corrupted by their parents. Those influences can have a significant impact. Kids are discerning. The older Gosselin girls have proven that they see through some of their mother's issues and have already rejected them. That is a very good sign. If someone (ie. teacher) shows them a different way, they will embrace it.

I am also comforted by the fact that their father, as immature as he may be sometimes, seems to genuinely care for the children. I have seen him get down on his knees many times to discuss things with his kids. Meeting them at eye level shows an interest that does not come off as artificial IMHO.

I am more confident than i have ever been that the Gosselin children are going to be ok. Continuing to live a fraudulent life would have had dire consequences. Now that truth is out there the healing can begin.

Hopefully, Jon will do the right thing and begin to shield and protect his precious children.

Tell everyone to write healthtex and let them know that their collaboration with Kate Gosselin is supporting child exploitation.

http://www.healthtex.com/

Sukie said...

What a wonderful post - and exactly the reason for this blog! What about the 8 Gosselin children?! I sincerely hope that TLC starts seeing the light and cuts production and the exploitation of this show.

I, too, was once a fan - just watching because I was simply interested in seeing how a family with 2 sets of multiples handles day to day living. But - the show has changed dramatically to it being all about Kate and the celebrity lifestyle, which is not interesting in the least and is quite distasteful. Not to mention her treatment of her husband and the various examples of emotional abuse she has inflicted upon her children. Needless to say - I'm no longer a fan, and feel a large amount of sadness for those 8 beautiful kids.

Thank you TpoV - you have done a superb job expressing it from a younger persons perspective! Tell your parents that they have done a great job raising you!

sadie said...

I, too, cheer her post. I think it's extremely wise, which is one reason that Kevin and Jodi going to the tabloids (I don't care if it was Star, People, US, they're all rags), and offering speculation and opinion helps absolutely no one.

If they are on Jon's side, which it seems that they are, they could have privately supported him. There is absolutely nothing to be gained by ANYONE else going public with private knowledge. Everyone keeps saying, "Get the kids off the show and out of the spotlight!" That's not going to happen if anyone and everyone keeps inserting themselves into the fray. And, if Kate is the attention whore everyone says she is (and she probably is), they have to know that accusing her publicly is only going to create more of a spectacle.

Everyone that truly cares about those children need to find real world and meaningful ways to help them. I think Jon is a douche, but if they support him and if he's trying to change since the affair and his last bender a few weeks ago, then so be it. Support him in private!

It's just a little ironic to me that everyone applauding Jodi and Kevin coming forward want the kids out of the spotlight. The kids are attached to the parents. Drag the parents through the public mud and and the kids are bound to follow, at least in terms of emotional repercussions.

RealMom said...

This kid has more common sense than Jon and Kate. Please everyone do not watch the show next week. They will continue to string everyone along with the spliced in comments about how they are "working on it." Do not watch! Go get ice cream with your kids or something positive.

coyote-38609 said...

This saga has already become less about the kids and more about the parents. YEAH!! TLC will find a way to spin this in one form or another so that they can continue to milk their cash cow. I hope it's about the financial success Kate attains and is shared with Jon and the kids—I realize it will be a tough bullet to bite for those who hate her, but if it benefits the kids, that’s what counts.

TLC has a number of “large family shows” to replace J&K+8 to satisfy the people who like this type of show which would allow TLC to take a completely different direction with the J&K or maybe just the “K” show. No focus on Jon, either, maybe which seems to be what he wants!

It's not all bad. The kids will be better off out of the marriage; and hopefully will not be the focus of the story line in the future. I doubt very much that it will "stop TLCs gravy train", though. The only way, imo, to help the kids is to stop watching the show if it DOES continue to focus on the the children (I’m fairly sure there is no way to stop the 5th season—just alter it), stop buying the magazines, and stop blogging about JK+8. We all know that won't happen. Neither the lovers nor the haters will be able to let go.

The best gift a couple can give their children is a good marriage. If that can't happen, then the family is better off if the split occurs, in my opinion. With divorce rate at 50% in America, they certainly are not alone. There are probably many kids in the school the Gosselin’s attend who live in one-parent situations or in shared custody situations.

The damage to the children has been taking place all along. They’ve been living in the hell of parents who hate each other (if what has been said is true) and with what has been written on the Internet. Seeing a magazine on a store shelf is not going to do much more damage. Hopefully, the end of the marriage will take the pressure off them and people will focus and obsess over something else.

Kate seems to be following her own agenda to attain fame and advance her business plan, and is using the publicity to her advantage, as is TLC.

She and Jon may have come to an agreement, as many parents do, to go their separate ways, but to make a good life for their children. Children are resilient. At least these kids will be in a comfortable financial situation.

Jon and Kate have a perfect situation in a home with separate quarters to carry out parenting as normally as possible, which may have played a part in the decision to buy it in the first place.

I hope it all just goes away, in time, and the children are left alone. Not a perfect ending, but an ending.

Miss Lissa said...

Wonderful post, TPoV! So thoughtful well-written. You will make an excellent teacher one day because you show so much compassion and concern. Stay just the way you are and keep speaking your mind as an advocate!

Tyra said...

You are a very insightful and caring 15 year old, but PLEASE don't let a reality show take over your life.Don't sit home for days on end and think about how this is affecting Mady and Cara, etc. Please get out there and live your OWN life!!!

armywife98 said...

I am truly moved by your statements "teen", you are a very wise young lady and I hope your parents are as proud of you as I bet we all here at GWoP are.

I think this is an aspect that not a lot of people (and by people I mean news outlets, TLC, etc) have put thought into. How the current goings on affect YOUNG people & YOUNG children who watch this show and aren't privy to the same information we are.

For instance,my 7 year old daughter LOVES & I mean LOVES watching this show.I continue to let her watch it (in her room so I don't have to haha) because she can't see behind the scenes like we all can and she truly enjoys keeping up with the Gosselin children. It has become increasingly difficult for me to shield her from the current goings on. Yesterday we were at the PX (military department store) and there were several magazine covers displaying what was going on.My daughter is like a moth to a flame when it comes to Jon & Kate "stuff", but I didn't want her to see these things. I imagine she'd be very hurt & devastated to see what's going on..ya know?

THIS is something TLC & Figure 8 need to think about.I realize they are all about ratings & money but let's face facts, there are a lot of young people & children who watch this show,with no idea of what exploitation is or what's going on with Jon & Kate and it can potentially be very traumatic for them.

Mother of Two(couldn't afford more...) said...

I just wanted to put in a good word for Jon, if I may. Jon was duped into a lot of this. Kate was looking to marry someone who was passive, who she could trick and control. I believe with all my heart, Kate hatched her evil plan to have the largest litter of multiples possible before she even met or married Jon. Her friends and family say Kate was obsessed with another Pennsylvania family who had multiples and received a free house, van, and other freebies. Jon told Kate he wanted no more children after the twins, he did not want to continue with the show, did not want to be in the public eye, etc. There are photos of Jon playing with the kids this past Sunday (Mother's Day and their birthday) out on the lawn. There are no photos of Kate with the kids that day. I'm sure Jon was yelled at by Kate for "Just playing with the kids again! Stop playing with the kids!" That's what a good parent is supposed to do, especially on their birthday....

silimom said...

Well said, young woman. In situations like this, it is so easy to focus on the adultery and the lies and to forget that the true victims in this mess are Cara, Mady, Collin, Leah, Joel, Hannah, Aaden and Alexis.

Jon, please, please, please step up and be the man God has designed you to be. He gave you eight beautiful, innocent blessings to steward. Whether you wanted 8 kids or were ready for them is inconsequential at this point - they're here. And you owe them. They did not ask to be brought in to this world. Despite all the fighting and the bickering and the abuse, your love for your children has always been evident. You have been their primary caregiver for several years now. You are the parent they come to for love and affection, for guidance and support. No one is perfect, we all make mistakes. But you are given an opportunity each and every minute of the day to change. Step up and put your kids first.

You need to stop seeing Deanna right now - not necessarily because of Kate. She is just as culpable in the meltdown of your marriage as you are. But you need to get your own cr*p figured out before you bring anyone else into the kids' and your life. You have A LOT of emotional baggage your bringing to the table and honestly you're 1) Not free to pursue another relationship, regardless of whatever contract you may or may not have with Kate and 2) not only do your kids deserve your best, any woman who comes in to your life, be it Kate, Deanna or whomever, deserves your best as well.

Kate - grow up. The world does not "owe" you anything. You are not all that and a bag of chips. I think you love your kids, but you love yourself first and foremost above anything else, including God, your children and your husband. You are an abuser. If Jon had treated you the way you've treated him, there'd be an outcry to leave him at least and press charges at best. Yes Jon is a grown man, responsible for the choices he makes, but you contributed to him making those choices. Does it never occur to you to think about the fact that you've alienated EVERYONE around you who? Including people who have been paid to work with you? And yet you insist it's their problem. Hmmm. Sorry, but the evidence suggests that the issue is yours not everyone elses. Get help. Find a therapist. Work on becoming a better person. Your kids deserve that much. And for heaven's sake, TOUCH YOUR BLEEDING CHILD!!! I don't care if you were at an event or what have you. You are his mother. He was coming to you for comfort as well as healing. You claim time and again that your kids are your first priority but your actions speak louder than your words. Chew on that for a while.

coyote-38609 said...

5/14/2009 8:27 AM

Oops, sorry, my fingers went faster than brain! Meant to say

The only way, imo, to help the kids is to stop watching the show if it DOES continue to focus on the the children (I’m fairly sure there is no way to stop the 5th season—just alter it), STOP WATCHING THE SHOW, stop buying the magazines, and stop blogging about JK+8.

Kayla said...

I completely feel that way too! Thank you for your opinion. You are wise beyond your years.

Layla said...

This is my concern. Essentially, the camera people and producers have been a part of these kids growing up for most of their lives. What happens when the tape stops rolling for good? How do you explain to a 6 year old that a group of adults that they see on a daily basis are now *poof* gone? What kind of major f'd up thing would that do? I know that when I was a kid, we moved a lot and sometimes, I didn't get why adults were around one day and gone the next. It messes with little heads. On top of all this crap happening with their parents marriage, I can only imagine how unsure the 'tups and twins life are going to become.
I know it's a long shot, but I seriously hope someone is putting away money for future therapy for these innocents that have been exploited for no good reason.

I'm not a fan of the Duggars conservative beliefs or views (in fact, I know damn well I am the exact opposite of everything that a Quiver stands for), but at least I have a good sense in my head that those kids are going to be okay and make it in the world. Being on TV is still a novelty to them, and I hope they keep that wide eyed optimism. Even if their mother is a baby making robot.

Narcissism Please said...

i am indefinitely taken aback.
TpoV-
you can go places with the substance and grounding that you have, at your age.
[i know it's been almost overwrought by now that you are 'wise beyond your years' .. but im young enough to clearly remember my mindset at fifteen, and old enough to reflect on how much i've grown, since.. i am sincerely impressed.]
your maturity and ability to see outside a media-blown bubble is absolutely admirable. and like others have said, "refreshing."


*
this whole situation has completely swallowed and then regurgitated my brain.
i, now, after all of this .. even have a hard time frequenting gwop .. because it's all just SO MUCH.

after the first college-chicklet-shenanigan, i just yukked it up, thinking 'ha ha kate! sucks to be youuu!'
but, after babe-gate, i really got legitmately sad. [or, illegitimately .. on account of jon nor kate's life has anything to do with mine .. all be that, i was still sad.]
the children really are at mine-own [and many of everyone else's] heart['s], and i thank TpoV for putting it out there.

those kids aren't ignorant, and have all been internalizing this mess for some while now.


i wish infinite prayers for all of them.

Sidney said...

I think this young lady should be a feature writer in all the magazines that are going nuts this week.

Dear Young Lady, the world needs more people like you.

Connie said...

I heard a very wise father once say that the very best gift he gave his children was a mother who wanted to stay at home and raise her children.

cjmiller53 said...

Maggie, Thank you for your great post. You express a lot of people's concern for the children in a kind and simple way. Hopefully someone in the TLC/Gosselin camp will see your post and know that the children's welfare should be the only priority here.

My5blessings said...

Coyote wrote:

The only way, imo, to help the kids is to stop watching the show if it DOES continue to focus on the the children (I’m fairly sure there is no way to stop the 5th season—just alter it), STOP WATCHING THE SHOW, stop buying the magazines, and stop blogging about JK+8.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I agree people should not be viewing the show.
However........... I always find it so self serving for people to say "stop blogging about JK&8" in their OWN blog!
It's just so funny to me.... Perhaps you shouldn't be blogging then? Yes?
I happen to think blogging and putting forth effort to help the children and put out correct information is a good thing, not a bad thing........... JMHO though.
Although, if you think blogging is a bad idea, maybe you should stop??? yes???

Ava's Mommy said...

If a child can see this bright as the day follows. Why cant a parent see this happening in front of their eyes? This letter should be sent to kate's iphone. She really needs to realize the strain and stress she has put on her children.

We might only see 22min of a show, read the stories, tabloids, blogs and pictures. But everyone has came to the same conclusion. This is not a Healthy family. This is not a normal Family. This is not a Family to look up to for guidance and support.

Molly said...

I wrote TLC imploring them to take K&J off of the air and this is what I got in repsonse:

Dear Viewer:

Thank you for contacting TLC. We appreciate your correspondence and for
taking the time to share your thoughts and concerns with us about Jon &
Kate Plus 8.

In an effort to ensure the highest quality programming, comments such as
these are taken very seriously. Maintaining the integrity of all of our
networks is our primary goal. It is these types of comments that
contribute to creating change and improving our programming.

We understand there has been a lot of recent attention on the family and
many of our viewers have comments about the show. We thank you for giving
us your opinion. Each and every comment is forwarded on to our programming
executives for review and consideration.

Again, thank you for contacting TLC.

Sincerely,

Viewer Relations
TLC


A reply to this message will not be answered. If you have additional
questions or comments, please go to our webform at
http://extweb.discovery.com/viewerrelations.



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Kris said...

As an adult daughter of a mother very much like Kate I really feel for the kids. I have no doubt Kate is a narcissist and has borderline personality disorder. She will sacrifice her own kids for wealth and fame. If Jon has any caring bone in his body he will get the kids to counseling. Being the child of a personality disordered parent is a long road to haul. They are so young, so innocent and so easily confused and hurt by Kate's machinations. This post by a young woman is so insightful and so empathetic it's endearing.

Hmmm said...

BRAVO!

Ravello said...

Kudos to this lovely teen who hit on the most important issue- the impact of this mess on the Gosselin children. Very well written.
To the author- make sure you discuss the issues with your teen friends. I have heard JK&8 is very popular with the younger set and not everyone will do a thoughtful analsyis.
I am also proud of my 13 year old niece who figured out Kate was a shrew. My niece was outraged at Joelgate and Gumgate.

momof5 said...

re: the tups "What do they know? How have their lives changed?"

Their lives will change for the worse when the show is over. Katie has said time & again that the cameras being around is normal for the "babies".

Not to sound cynical but I don't sit around & wonder what the twins are going thru. I guess that's the difference between the mind of a 15 year old & a 35 year old.

Katie said...

Bravo to this insightful young woman! The world needs more people like you and those 8 children sure as hell need people like you to speak up for them. When I was in the checkout line at the grocery store this morning I counted no less than FOUR magazines with J&K splashed across the front pages. I was almost in tears because I feel so terrible for those kids. What kind of legacy is this to leave for your children?

Bridget said...

More video of Kevin & Jodi on radaronline.com They talk about all the things Kate doesn't do - cooking, cleaning, laundry etc. And say Kate doesn't want marriage counseling.

TPoV said...

Thanks to everyone for you sweet and uplifting comments! I can't express how good I feel right now!! Again, I sincerely thank you!

coyote-38609 said...

5/14/2009 10:42 AM
Myfiveblessings,

I can understand that you think I'm hypocritical and respect your statement (suggestion) since I *am* blogging. I see the value of some blogs, and harm in others. I just think that if all avenues of "attention" are cut, TLC may decide it's best not to air scenes involving the children. That's where I believe the emphasis of discussion should be placed, not on the divorce.

I believe I stipulated that I thought it would be wise not to watch the show or blog, etc., when the 5th season airs if TLC continues to focus on the children, and I won't. In fact, I don't think I'll watch, in any case.

I hope that better explains my position to you. I stated my opinion--I wasn't dictating whether you or anyone else should blog or not. I think you'll agree that while we may differ in our opinions on HOW to help the children, helping them is our mutual goal.

Care4The8 said...

i am the exact same age as the person who wrote it, and i feel the exact same way! screw the parents, what about the poor kids???

IrishGal said...

Nice to see similar thoughts written by someone about my age (I'm 14). I can tell those twins understand a lot more than they get credit for from their parents. Hope they've been okay.

Kelly said...

Very nice post! I completely agree.

Why do kids at your school call you the "Jon and Kate Plus 8 freak"? It seems you would be better named something along the lines of sweetie, big heart, or care bear. ;) Not to mention great writer!
Hold your head high!

lilmamaD said...

Anonymous said:

Tell everyone to write healthtex and let them know that their collaboration with Kate Gosselin is supporting child exploitation.

http://www.healthtex.com/

I just sent my email:

Dear Sirs,
I have been an avid consumer of your products ever since the birth of my twins four years ago. However, I am deeply concerned to have just learned that you will be partnering with Kate Gosselin for a children's line of clothing to be marketed exclusively at WalMart. I am writing to inform you that I will no longer be purchasing your products while you are associated with Ms. Gosselin. Morally and ethically, I will not patronize any company affiliated with someone who is grossly exploiting their own children for monetary gain. I will be happy to be one of your loyal consumers once again when you have discontinued your partnership with Ms. Gosselin.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Rachel A. Dingler

And Bless You Tpov! Thank you for sharing your heartfelt post! And I agree with nanasez that you are going to be such a wonderful mother someday! :)

Erin said...

I am also a teenager and I live very close to Jon & Kate (in their new house). Sometimes while running errands I take a short-cut past their house- the other day some of the kids were outside with Jon and the dogs...they all looked genuinely happy. I hope that happiness continues and Jon & Kate can fix their problems before it bubbles over onto their children.

Lisbeth said...

If only the media would follow the OP's lead here. There was a short piece on the J&K controversy on GMA this am. They mentioned the marriage faltering, possible infidelity, Kevin-Jodie's interview and possible changes to the upcoming show/season.

NO talk was brought up about the exploitation of children for profit, NO talk about robbing the children of their right to privacy, NO talk about protecting the kids in this difficult time of their lives. NONE. Shame on GMA for not sharing the position that the children's emotional and social needs should come before company's profit and family finacial windfall.

Alison said...

AMEN to that! I can't even imagine what the kids (ESPECIALLY Cara and Mady) are going though. I can't fathom how I'd react if I came into school and my entire class was talking about my parents being on the cover of US weekly and on E! News, it would just be devastating.

Regardless of whether they'll stay together or not, they really need to look at what this is doing to their children.

Simple said...

I think the best thing we can do for those kids is stop watching the show. No ratings=no show.

Lisa K said...

TPoV...,
You are really an amazing and smart teen. I only wish the parents of these children had your wisdom, but they don't. It is now about how famous and how much money they can rake in. I just can't imagine what they are thinking a this point. I also wonder what the twins must have to go through at school. It must be a nightmare for them.

Mama Kate said...

It makes me very happy that such a young person has such mature things to say. I wish the adults in this situation, namely Jon and Kate, would have half as much intelligence and consideration for their kids as this young lady.

miranda said...

the sequel to kate's book is going to have to be called "8 Enormous Therapy Bills."

(in all seriousness - good post, & i hope those poor little kids get the support & love they need).

Westin said...

Momof5, I tend to agree. I don't sit and ponder what the children are going through often either. I tend to believe that we should sit and ponder our own lives, not necessarily the lives of others. Not to be offensive to the teenage poster, but I'm sorry that you are known as the "Jon and Kate freak" at school. Is that because you are a huge fan or because you are a non-fan? Or just because you like the children so much? Regardless, my hope is that you pursue other passions, because I can't imagine that worrying about something over which you have no control is all that good for you as a teenager.

irateb/cofkate said...

If they really cared about their children like they say they do, they would have NEVER let them be part of a reality television show for the world to see. It just doesn't go both ways, sorry.

In an interview I saw last week, Kate said they have always done everything for their children. Well, children pick up on things quite easily--like a falling apart marriage. You'd think they would try to save their marriage for themselves AND their children, but it has been obvious to many of us for a while what they are really in it for--$$$$$$.

If anything, the younger generation is learning what NOT to do from this mess!!!

tuckersmom said...

Exuse me if this has been asked before, but does anyone know if Dr. Laura has spoken about Kate and the show? I imagain Dr. Laura would have some pretty strong words for Kate-the children's lack of privacy, her treatment of John, Kate NOT being a SAHM when she always swears she is, the consequences of divorce on all those children..
Dr. Laura is a highly visible figure who could advocate for the kids. Lord knows Dr. Phil drank the Koolaid because he appears to highly regard her (as opposed to Octomom, who he viewed with great scrutiny).

IrishGal said...

irateb/cofkate,
I wouldn't necassarily say that having a reality show means the parents don't care about their children. For example, it doesn't seem like it's ever gotten to the Duggar's. They're self-sufficient even without TLC's help and I feel like it has brought them some good experiences. Jon and Kate have totally taken advantage of what could have been a very positive experience, and unfortunately, can't get back what they have lost.

Stephanie said...

I believe that what they need to do if they truly care about their marriage is stop the show immediately (as much as I enjoy it) and they need to send away all the cameras and all the people and focus on their marriage and their children for the next couple years. And at least then, if it still doesn't work out...they won't be able to blame the show and the fame and the money and the stress of it all. And then if it still doesn't work, they and the kids will be better off if they divorce. As much as it sucks growing up in a split family...it sucks even more having unhappy parents who fight constantly.

Anonymous said...

A comment I left on the "anti-blog." Not that it'll do any good. That woman has her head so far up her behind that I'd be surprised if she knew who the President is.

"It showed they were only there to cash in on his sister."
Kind of like how Kate is cashing in on her kids??? Baby Mama, do you know what a freakin' hypocrite you are, talking about people cashing in on family members when the woman you worship is doing EXACTLY the same thing? Wait a sec, what Kate is doing is WORSE because she is taking advantage of innocent children. Why don't you do the world a favor and grow a brain. You make me sick.

My5blessings said...

Dr. Phil drank the Koolaid because he appears to highly regard her (as opposed to Octomom, who he viewed with great scrutiny
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Flame away, but I see absolutely no difference with Nadya Suleman and J&K other than looks.
As a matter of fact, I feel pitty for Nadya. I HATE that name Octomom.
I think I'll start calling Kate Sextomom!
Anyway, the only difference I can see is the the media got a hold of her like a pit bull and it escalated from there. And, no she's not too bright. But, to compare the two, I see no difference.

Tince said...

Wow You took the words out of my mouth! Smart girls like yourself are 1/1000000000! People are so blind, and age not one thing to do with it!

marypoppins said...

Just before the Dionne sisters 18 th b-day, they read a newspaper article about how much money was in the Quintuplet Fund.

That was the day they learnt that they had received over 1 million dollars for all the advertising and movies and pictures sold.
It had been placed in trust for them until they were 18.

They were shocked as they often felt or were made to feel guilty for the extra burden they casued their family.

It was then they learnt that the entire family, the mansion, the fathers fancy cars, sibling's education were all financed by them !

One day the gosselins are all going to understand what went on.
I hope they will be able to cope with what they learn

I feel sorry for Maddy and Cara.
My mother is a teacher and if kids came to school looking as withdrawn as Cara or acting out like Maddy, inquiries of the situation at home would have been made.

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure if this article link has been posted yet.

As someone from Michigan, I felt proud of someone in the (local) press asking the important question that so many here are already examining themselves: Harmless entertainment or cruel exploitation?"

I think I know how many of the concerned viewers that post here would respond to this.

http://www.mlive.com/news/grand-rapids/index.ssf/2009/05/jon_kate_plus_8_harmless_enter.html

Thanks for the great work & good discussion pieces in this blog! I hope that this family is able to heal & get past the mountain of mistakes. It's going to be a long, rough road, but if they're willing to sacrifice everything they've built around them for the sake of the eternal aspects of their lives - their love & their children - they can make it through these devastating, empty days & find peace, meaning, and contentment.

- Erin

mamafoost said...

This is my first time posting on this blog. I have read many posts on this site for months and as a J&K fan, I didn't want to believe much of it. As I watched the show towards the end of last season, I started picking up on things, such as all the freebies, even Jon's pathetic pitch for ALLSTATE INSURANCE! I began to think that you guys had it right. I am dissapointed to say the least. Now with all that is happening with the family, I wish that Kate would just GIVE IT UP and think about her precious little children. I'm sure when they get older they won't give a crap about whether or not their college is paid for. They can take out loans like everyone else right? I'm sure they would have much rather lived in a smaller house, with two parents that were there for them 24/7, not out on the town and traveling all over the country to promote themselves. SAD, SAD, SAD, that's all I can say......

sammykay said...

i completely agree...i am a mother of 2 and currently pregnant with my third. i use to love watching this show because the kids are so darn cute. but now, reading and seeing all the things that i have about this family, it breaks my heart to think of the life these beautiful children are going to have to face. it literally brings me to tears when i see their picture posted everywhere with all the horrible things that are being reported about their parents. i just wanna scoop them up and show them a loving, normal life.

A Nice Kate said...

I also really do feel for the children. My parents final divorce trial is in July. A divorce resulting from infidelity after 30 years of marriage. I am a 27 year old woman with two children of my own and it still has been a very painful road. I can't even imagine what this will be/is like for 5 and almost 9 year olds. My heart truly does go out to those kids. I hope for a quick resolution to all of this.

Wendy Bird said...

Mary Poppins said...(regarding the Dionne's)

...It was then they learnt that the entire family, the mansion, the fathers fancy cars, sibling's education were all financed by them !
My avatar shows the Dionne's home (on an old postcard.) I have used it since the Gosselin children bought the mansion for their family.

Excellent post, TpoV. Keep writing, as you express yourself so well.

irateb/cofkate said...

IrishGal said...

irateb/cofkate,
I wouldn't necassarily say that having a reality show means the parents don't care about their children. For example, it doesn't seem like it's ever gotten to the Duggar's. They're self-sufficient even without TLC's help and I feel like it has brought them some good experiences. Jon and Kate have totally taken advantage of what could have been a very positive experience, and unfortunately, can't get back what they have lost.

________________
I understand what you are saying, but I don't think we can really compare the Duggars to the Gosselins. They lead a completely different lifestyle with their religion being the foundation of their entire life. I think the Gosselins found themselves caught somewhere in the middle of trying to provide for their family while jeopardizing their children's futures. The money just seemed too good to be true, so they kept on going. I really don't think we can compare these two families, as much as we'd like to say their situations are similar, I don't believe they are.

readerlady said...

I've been re-viewing the season 1 and 2 episodes over the past few days (borrowed from the library, NOT purchased or rented!). I stopped watching regularly after season 3, but have seen a few of season 4's episodes, particularly "puppies". I'm increasingly disturbed by the changes I'm seeing in the children, especially Mady. In the early episodes she was bright, cheerful, helpful, friendly and, mostly, well-behaved. Sure, there was an occasional meltdown or misbehavior, but no 5 - 6 year old is perfectly behaved 100% of the time. Over the course of the show, she has become increasingly whiny, unhappy, unhelpful and, I think, depressed. I think Cara is, too, but she's the introvert of the pair and it shows more on Mady. One incident really struck me. In an early episode, Kate forced Mady to give her doll to one of the little girls to play with. Mady took it away from the 'tup when she abused the doll. Kate scolded Mady and made her give the doll back to the 'tup. Fast forward to season 4 when Mady begs and pleads for a puppy who will love only her. Kate is fooling herself if she thinks those children are "oblivious". The proof is right there on the screen for any observant person to see. If it comes to a divorce, I certainly hope Jon is awarded primary physical custody of the kids. He's not perfect and he's certainly made some very bad choices, but I feel he is more in tune to the children's needs and personalities and is by far the better parent.

Margaret Ann said...

I really feel for Mady and Cara as well. It seems like no adult in their lives cares about them, but are merely trying to make a quick buck by going to the tabloids. First her mom, then her aunt and uncle... WHO is there at home to comfort them and protect them. WHO is there to help them when they come home from school after being teased or spoken to about the horrible things going on in their home life, as detailed by their mom, aunt, and uncle, and brought to light by their father`s idiotic and inappropriate behaviour.

I just hope that the sextuplets are too young to understand what is going on, because it seems like all of the kids are just being treated like commodities by all of the adults in their lives. Kate, Jodi, and Kevin are only talking to the tabloids because the tabloids pay money for stories like these. If they really cared about the kids, they`d all drop out of the public eye and handle it on the domestic level. This is a three-ring circus, and the kids are the lions in the cage.

msrylee said...

Thank you for a very insightful point of view as observed by a young lady. The Gosselin children asked for none of this, but they are truly paying the price, and will in the future. Hopefully someone will intervene on their behalf and be a voice for these little ones.

Connie said...

I don't think it's right to compare this family with the Dionne sisters. The circumstances are much different.

My5blessings said...

Connie said...
I don't think it's right to compare this family with the Dionne sisters. The circumstances are much different.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Why?

What makes their circumstances any different than the Gosselin children?

Elaborate please. I sincerely would like to know the thought process behind this comment.

My5blessings said...

For example, it doesn't seem like it's ever gotten to the Duggar's. They're self-sufficient even without TLC's help and I feel like it has brought them some good experiences. Jon and Kate have totally taken advantage of what could have been a very positive experience, and unfortunately, can't get back what they have lost.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I just cannot get behind comments like this.

You are either FOR child exploitation or you are not. It cannot be "if the parents are self sufficient" or "if the parents are kind to each spouse" or "If the parents are kind to their children" All admirable, but not a prerequisite for exploiting children.

Like I've said before, even some pimps treat their "merchandise" who bring pimps their income can be kind to the people who supply them with the lifestyle they become accustomed to.

It has nothing whatsoever to do with being self sufficient.

Either everyone ( generalization here) is pissed because the Gosselin family are being given freebies, or they are pissed because their children are treated worse than animals in a cage.

Which is it?

This morning I went over to the Duggar board, just for curiosity sakes.

I was SHOCKED to see a good majority of people who complain here about the child exploitation of the Gosselin children had no problem with the Duggar family nor their son who evidentially is married and may be getting his own show. Some did object --but a good amount were happy and ready to watch. Are you kidding?

It really made me sick and made me think what the heck are those of us who are truly fighting the best way we know how for these children and their gross exploitation at the hands of their parents doing?

I'm beginning to think if J&K were kinder, some would have no problem with their children being filmed day in day out.

Not saying all, but quite a few.....

What's going on?

You have to draw the line in the sand.

You either are for child exploitation, Or you are against it. There is no in-between.

On this issue, you cannot sit on both sides of the fence. Justify one or more families by virtue of their "kindness" and lambast another.

You are absolutely correct in saying they can't go back. None of these families can...............
Damage done.....................

Lisbeth said...

ITA with My5blessings. The Duggars, Supernanny, Table for 12, Dr. Phil, Jon and Kate...ALL film children in their homes, and broadcast their private life moments on national TV for profit. Exploitation.

Here are two definitions. Fits all shows to a T:
Exploit: (v) to utilize, esp. for profit; turn to practical account: to exploit a business opportunity.
2. to use selfishly for one's own ends

Connie said...

My5blessings asked how the Dionne Quints were different. Read this:

(CNN) -- "The Dionne quintuplets were the miracle babies of their time -- a bright story in the depth of the Depression.

But their story is tragic; their lives a circus.

The five sisters, Annette, Cecile, Yvonne, Marie and Emilie, were born from a single egg in 1934. The public seemed to adore them. But, they were abused -- both by the world and, they claim, by their father.

As babies, the quints were taken from their parents by the Ontario government and made wards of the state. Although their health was fine, they lived at a hospital that became a tourist mecca called "Quintland."

Between 1934 and 1943, about 3 million people visited Quintland, a low, modern building with a garden and a high fence near the village of Corbeil, in Northern Ontario.

The government and nearby businesses made an estimated half-billion dollars off the tourists. The sisters were the nation's biggest tourist attraction -- bigger than Niagara Falls.


'It wasn't human'

Born May 28, 1934, to poor, French-speaking, Catholic parents, the Dionne quints were at least two months premature, and together they weighed less than 14 pounds. Each of the babies could be held in an adult palm.

They were put by an open stove to keep warm, and mothers from surrounding villages brought breast milk for them. Against all expectations, they survived their first weeks.

To protect the infants from germs, kidnappers and a father known to have considered exhibiting them for money, they were taken from their family and placed under the government's guardianship. A hospital was built across the road from their family's farmhouse for their exclusive use.

The hospital became "Quintland" and the sisters' home for years after. Their parents, made unwelcome, became irregular visitors.

Film footage of the young quintuplets shows five pretty girls with dark hair and dark eyes -- and a crush of tourists waiting in line to see them.

"It wasn't human," Cecile Dionne told The (London) Independent in a 1995 interview. "It was a circus."

In the early days, nurses would take the quints to a nursery balcony and show them, one at a time, to the crowds below. Later, they were viewed three times a day from a gauze-covered corridor. "We saw moving. We heard sounds," said Cecile.

The quints were studied by scientists, who X-rayed them, catalogued episodes of "anger and fear," and recorded things such as food intake and incidents of dissent.

Cecile said she learned the word "doctor" before she learned "mother."

After nine years and a bitter custody fight, the girls moved back with their parents and their other siblings. They lived at home until they were 18, after which they broke off almost all contact with their parents. In a later book the sisters claimed their father sexually abused them, though they later disputed the allegations of abuse."

MUCH different than the Gosselins.

UGH! said...

Now that everyone is CRYSTAL clear on the definition of EXPLOIT, how about NPD ?

Definition

Narcissistic personality disorder is a condition characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance and an extreme preoccupation with one's self.



Causes, incidence, and risk factors

The cause of this disorder is unknown. Narcissistic personality disorder usually begins by early adulthood and is marked by disregard for the feelings of others, grandiosity, obsessive self-interest, and the pursuit of primarily selfish goals.



Symptoms

A person with narcissistic personality disorder:

Reacts to criticism with feelings or rage, shame, or humiliation
Takes advantage of others to achieve own goals
Has feelings of self-importance
Exaggerates achievements and talents
Is preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, beauty, intelligence, or ideal love
Has unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment
Requires constant attention and admiration
Lacks empathy

Shelly'sFedUp said...

I posted this once before but for some reason it didn't get through so I'll try again.

Every family has to some degree a Kate. You just deal with it and roll with it. Basically it's all you can do. My "Kate" is on meds and does go to therapy but still has episodes. Yes I go home and cry often, but I go back and take more because I vowed to always be there for my grandchildren and to the best of my ability I will.

Anonymous said...

i have been in a position where my parents were divorcing and everyone told me it was my moms fault. they (dad and family members) would portray my mom as a bad person who wanted to nothing for anyone but herself. i knew deep down inside my mom was not making the right choices and i was mad at her for doing so but it really hurt me having all these people telling me how bad of my mom was. yes i was mad at her also but to do have other people telling me that kinda stuff really hurt. i could not imagine what these kids are going through because the situation. is magnified 100 +. these kids really should know that there mother DOES love them even if she does not always make the right choices.

My5blessings said...

Connie Wrote:

MUCH different than the Gosselins
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

You say potato, I say Patato.

Not much difference to me, they all taste the same.

Mental abuse is mental abuse regardless who the perpetrator is. Although, I think the betrayal has got to be so much more painful when it comes from your parents, the ones who are there to protect/ love and care for you.

Yes, you will shout they were taken from their parents, put on display. ALL I say is an absolute travesty, an unbelievable evasion of their humane rights. Look at the damage, they suffer to this day. Which is why they wrote and begged for this not to happen to the Septuplets. Thank God they heard and did take the advice!

Listen, you can argue there is a difference. I don't see it.

It's like saying my Father sexually abused me but he was kind about it. OR My Father sexually abused me but he was so cruel.

The mental damage which takes place is the same. Perhaps worse for the child whose father was kind. The confusion is much worse.
Not saying these families sexually abuse their children. They certainly exploit them.

The Gosselin children along with the Hayes, along with the Duggars and all the others are ALL in a circus atmosphere-- are ALL on display. The curtains open and all gawk in at their most intimate moments. Nothing is sacred, nothing held back. I can almost hear the music in the background. It's so unthinkable.

The tragic part is, they CAN hear the "whispers" they CAN see their life on display on the magazine rack. I don't see Kate as a Mother! Perhaps the production crew is their surrogate parental figures? Maybe they were called Mommy or Daddy first, who knows. Speculation.

I see the outcome to be the same. Difference is, these children are not grown yet. We don't know how they will feel or what they will say when they are grown. If they will detach themselves from Jon and Kate..... Time will tell. My educated guess? They will depart from them and have great resentment for their parents lack of protection, care, love, plain ole parenting.

Like I continually say, exploitation is exploitation is exploitation. No matter what wrapping paper you wrap it in, when you open it up--it still is the same "gift" --child exploitation.

And, just to be perfectly clear, what happened to these poor girls was and is a horrific CRIME. They were exploited as are ALL the children on these disgusting "child reality shows."

While the setting has changed, the damage to the child souls involved has not. The end result will be the same.
Sorry, that is how I view the subject.

irateb/cofkate said...

Here's the thing...I don't believe in child exploitation, but let's face it--the Duggar family was probably stared at in public BEFORE they had a television show. The Gosselins, probably not (even though Kate would like to think so).

YES, they are ALL exploiting their children. I take back my comment from before, EXPLOITATION is the only way all these families can be compared. Duggars, Dionnes, Gosselins, Hayes...all of them chose to exploit their children. All of them have or will pay for it at some point.

I think the big difference is that the Gosselins, without their TV show, would have no problem fitting into regular society. The Duggars are a zoo in themselves and yes, they would be different from the rest of the world even without their show. So, whatever.

STLmom said...

I have friends who never knew who "Jon and Kate" were before this meida craziness. So it is funny to hear what their comments. And what they are all say is "how do 2 parents of 8 little children find the time to have an affair"

Funny, that sums it all up. These pro-Kate sites continue to think she is a saint. But if she really is at home over worked with dinner, laundry and kids she would not have the time for an affair or the time to shop of her expensive tacky stuff.

tallblonde said...

To me, it just seems the Roloffs, the Hayes & the Duggar families actually have a life beyond their "show" - and if TLC ended all shows, they could easily go back to their normal lives.

The Gosselins have no life outside the show - Kate has said "Our life is the show - our show is our life"

...and that to me is the BIG difference between the families.

silimom said...

I think that the difference with the Duggars and the Gosselins is that the Duggars live what they say they believe. Should they have a large show featuring their kids? maybe, maybe not.

One thing I've noticed is that the episodes seem to focus more on the older kids and the parents (to be fair, I haven't watched a TON of their shows, just a few). And that's less troubling to me because at least the older kids are able to articulate how they feel and if they didn't want to do it, I have the feeling that the parents wouldn't make them.

I don't know. I don't necessarily agree with all of the Duggar's conservative beliefs, but I have more respect for them then Kate and Jon. Yes they've decided to share their lives on a tv show. However, I don't see Michelle Duggar writing books and cookbooks and homeschooling products, appearing on talk shows alone, traveling with bodyguards - in other words, I don't see them turning their family into a brand name (or trying to). I see people who probably feel that this is an avenue that God has given them to evangelize and share their faith and beliefs with other people. But I wouldn't compare them to the Gosselins at all. It's apple and oranges.

Mandy said...

Where are you Kate? Just saw photos on TMZ of Jon out with the kids..when is the last time YOU saw your kids? (aka your meal tickets) No spare time to spend with your kids Kate? Despicable shrew!

momof5 said...

Just saw the picks of Jon on TMZ picking up the kids from school. LOVE IT! I'm not saying the guy doesn't have his issues, isn't a slacker, or whatever. However, he is there with his kids now. Maybe this whole thing has made him wake up and realize that he needs to step up and be the responsible parent. That he owes it to his kids.

Whether the show goes on or not (and I really pray it doesn't) I hope that what CAN come out of this whole mess is that these two people will be able to become better parents and better people. Kate's right - you can't go back. But you can step up, make amends for your mistakes, ask forgiveness and make an honest effort to CHANGE. Each day is an opportunity to get it right.

coyote-38609 said...

My5blessings,

I agree with you. I thought it was weird--well, creepy when the Duggar's eldest son wanted to make sure they were camera ready so that he could announce the results of the pregnancy test *to his wife*, then to the families. The worst thing of all was when they wheeled the poor grandfather out in the throes of death for all the world to see. I think the poor old man would have preferred to live his last days in dignity.

If what the Gosselins are doing is wrong, so is every other reality show involving children--they'll all get on the gravy train, eventually. As the old saying goes, "Everything has a price." I already see it in the Duggars, the Hayes, and the Roloffs. They have already benefited from free bees, etc., The difference is that TLC has learned to edit and hide it better than they did with the Gosselins. TLC should take them all off, imo. They are the villain in my opinion.

KTD said...

A Kate sighting, complete with long-handled microphone and perfectly staged kids:

http://justjared.buzznet.com/2009/05/16/kate-gosselin-party-city/

Jon is nowhere in sight, but the bodyguard is there.

IrishGal said...

My5Blessings, I just meant that this show hasn't really seemed to change the Duggars. Of course I'm not for child exploitation, I'm 14 myself.

GagMeWithASpoon! said...

These do not look like happy, carefree 5 year old children, and the twins look weighed down with worry and sadness

Connie said...

My question is when is it exploitation and when isn't it?
Should there be NO children under 18 on ANY shows? I would think if it's exploitation for one child it would be for any children. When a person is 18 he/she can decide but before then how would they ever know what lies ahead?
I guess I wonder where the line is.

My5blessings said...

Tallblonde wrote:
To me, it just seems the Roloffs, the Hayes & the Duggar families actually have a life beyond their "show" - and if TLC ended all shows, they could easily go back to their normal lives.

The Gosselins have no life outside the show - Kate has said "Our life is the show - our show is our life"

...and that to me is the BIG difference between the families.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This is so profound.

Not to pick on your post, Tallblonde. You wrote everyone BUT the Gosselines "could go back to a NORMAL lives" indicating being on a t.v show isn't normal.

You are so right. It's not normal. God, when I read this, I just said, YES! Exactly and I know when you wrote this, it's not what you meant. It's true though.
These reality shows are simply not normal- not for children.

Whether they can go back to typical/normal lives, we do not know that. They haven't chose to do so. Why is that I wonder?

The point isn't to compare the difference between the reality children or parents for that matter. God, anyone trumps Kate and Jon.

Whether one parent can hold a steady job should have nothing to do with their children being on a reality show.

You were right though and I loved the fact you wrote it:)

My5blessings said...

silimom wrote:
I don't know. I don't necessarily agree with all of the Duggar's conservative beliefs, but I have more respect for them then Kate and Jon. Yes they've decided to share their lives on a tv show. However, I don't see Michelle Duggar writing books and cookbooks and homeschooling products, appearing on talk shows alone, traveling with bodyguards - in other words, I don't see them turning their family into a brand name (or trying to). I see people who probably feel that this is an avenue that God has given them to evangelize and share their faith and beliefs with other people. But I wouldn't compare them to the Gosselins at all. It's apple and oranges.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
(sigh) it is apples and oranges.

We shouldn't be debating one another on who are the more deserving people, more loving, better Christians, on and on.

I said it in my previous post. Anyone can win against Jon and Kate.

For God's sake, my older son with Autism trumps her! Seriously. That's not the issue.

It doesn't matter who has what, got what for free, what they sell or don't sell. Although we all have the right to then not purchase from that company or watch the program who sponsor their show or give them the free items. I exercise that right with enormous pride. When I say it doesn't matter,I mean as far as the children's sanity goes. It frustrates us all to watch them and their ingrateful attitude. I'll give you that.

What matters is the children, period.
That's it......... nothing else.

Do I think they are fit parents? Nope, not a chance in HELL.

And ditto, while I don't watch any of the shows, I have seen their show ( Duggars), a long time ago. Yes, I respect her MUCH more than Kate. But again, not a high bar has been set.
Just sayin...............

My5blessings said...

Coyote Wrote:
agree with you. I thought it was weird--well, creepy when the Duggar's eldest son wanted to make sure they were camera ready so that he could announce the results of the pregnancy test *to his wife*, then to the families. The worst thing of all was when they wheeled the poor grandfather out in the throes of death for all the world to see. I think the poor old man would have preferred to live his last days in dignity.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Don't watch the show, Coyote so I didn't know his wife was pregnant.
Not sure how that happens where the man knows and the woman doesn't. LOL but okay:):)

As far as the Grandfather, I felt physically sick reading this.
And once again....... the young and the old who have basically no voice are taken advantage of.
Does it ever end........
Thanks for posting that. I think people read this and it makes them think..... it certainly does me.

My5blessings said...

IrishGal said...

My5Blessings, I just meant that this show hasn't really seemed to change the Duggars. Of course I'm not for child exploitation, I'm 14 myself.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I have to say, according to the post I just read, it possibly has.
But, even if it didn't...... it wouldn't matter.
If you are 14, I bet you are learning quite a bit. Hopefully you stay away from programing like this:)

So Sad... said...

Ok, what's wrong with this picture?
8 little kids are leaving a party store with balloons and a bunch of other fun party "stuff" and not one of them is smiling! They look miserable- all 8 of them! The only one with a big fake smile on her face is Kate. My kids got balloons at a restaurant last nite and they were so excited. I couldn't stop smiling b/c they got so much joy from something so simple. THAT is what childhood is about! It is so sad to me that the Gosselin kids will never have a chance to have a normal childhood.

My5blessings said...

Connie wrote:
My question is when is it exploitation and when isn't it?
Should there be NO children under 18 on ANY shows? I would think if it's exploitation for one child it would be for any children. When a person is 18 he/she can decide but before then how would they ever know what lies ahead?
I guess I wonder where the line is.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
GREAT question Connie!!!!!!

Not even sure you posted it here. Just shows up in my box.

For *me* and my feelings. I can tell you, seeing these "reality" shows with children. Specifically J&K has made me look at ALL children on shows in the most different, drastic light.

I can say I think I'm a bit jaded at this point. How sad is that!

I loved Home Alone! Loved him in all his movies. ( not even going to try and spell his name correctly)
But, his parents definitely exploited him and some of his siblings as well. He was so hurt over his parents and their treatment, he left at what 15? I know he was so young. I think about him...

I don't know the answer...... Maybe yes, maybe 18. I am anxious to hear what other people think.
I'm sure they will have a better answer than I just "didn't" give. :)

Great question though!

Lisbeth said...

Connie said:
My question is when is it exploitation and when isn't it?
Should there be NO children under 18 on ANY shows? I would think if it's exploitation for one child it would be for any children. When a person is 18 he/she can decide but before then how would they ever know what lies ahead?
I guess I wonder where the line is.

***********************************
You ask a very good question. That to me is why the law needs to get involved. Now. There is NO line re: reality shows. There IS a line for child actors. But the way it is now, children can videotaped in their homes, have their behavior and private life broadcast across the nation, with a parent signing away their rights. 5 minutes, 5 hours, 5 seasons...doesn't matter, there needs to be legal advocates for kids on TV or in the media...no matter what the show.

CartersvilleGA said...

Tallblonde wrote:
To me, it just seems the Roloffs, the Hayes & the Duggar families actually have a life beyond their "show" - and if TLC ended all shows, they could easily go back to their normal lives.

The Gosselins have no life outside the show - Kate has said "Our life is the show - our show is our life"

...and that to me is the BIG difference between the families.


I totally agree with you!:))

My5blessings said...

Lisbeth wrote:
ITA with My5blessings. The Duggars, Supernanny, Table for 12, Dr. Phil, Jon and Kate...ALL film children in their homes, and broadcast their private life moments on national TV for profit. Exploitation.

Here are two definitions. Fits all shows to a T:
Exploit: (v) to utilize, esp. for profit; turn to practical account: to exploit a business opportunity.
2. to use selfishly for one's own ends
***********************
*********************
How the heck did I miss this post?
My gosh, great post. It certainly does fit all to a "t"
Thank you....... good one to read again:)

Amy said...

Something doesn't add up for me. She's at Party City with all 8 kids and a body guard. In the past she has made it clear (to me at least) that she can't handle the 8 kids by herself. And the bodyguard is not there to wrangle kids but to guard. How can she suddenly manage to take all 8 kids to the store now? Can anyone say photo op?

IrishGal said...

Funny you should say that, My5Blessings, about staying away from this kind of programming. I don't don't think I've watched an epi in months; my interest in them has taken a turn lately only because I saw this scandal coming. Anyway, for some reason I kept feeling grumpy or depressed or something after I'd watch, so I tuned out. Shouldn't a watching a bunch of little kids run around make me feel, I don't know, happy? Just saying-

SuzanneDeAZ said...

An insightful letter.

FancyNancy said...

A fourth video is now up at radaronline.

Needed a name said...

Thank you for allowing me to post a comment on your blog (site). I have been a fan of the show since the beginning, and I'm just as irritated and bewildered at all the attention this family has received as of late. The show should end for the sake of the kids.

The real reason I am writing is to say that today while flipping through the channels I just so happened to come across TLC (I used to watch the show at 5pm but no longer contribute to their ratings). Anyway, I caught a glimpse of what will air on Monday and they showed Jon and Kate sitting on both ends of the coach slowing turning their heads to look at each other and then Kate shrugging her shoulders as to say "I dunno!". Now, my first initial thought was - this is fake. I wouldn't put it past TLC if they tampered with the video to make it appear they were both sitting on the coach at the same time. With the advances in technology, a person with a computer with the right kind of software can just about tamper any image and compromise the original. Make sense? But seriously though, this has really gotten out of hand and is almost a joke. With all of this nonsense going on how can anyone tune in knowing the disdain, hatred, lies, cheating, backstabbing, seething and evil things each has done to each other, and think this is America's Favorite Family....what ever happened to promoting family values? True family values? It's all phony business and has truly been tainted forever.....Sigh.....the standard of living has truly gone down the toilet....no decency what so ever.

This former J&K+8 viewer from Florida will not be watching next Monday's episode and probably won't watch the entire season.

Thanks for reading my post!

Let's keep this family and especially the children in prayer.

AggeJ said...

Quite a bit insite for a teen. I do agree we need to focus on the 8 children and how this will effect them. Having been a victim of devorce and watched my three children go through it I know what trauma it causes. Still 16 years later I know that it sill effects my children even though they are grown, married and have their own families.

Nadia Victoria said...

I just watched the premiere of the show and I'm heartbroken. At one point Alexis was talking to Jon about the friend she invited to her party and the look in Jon's face just broke my heart. Alexis asked him not to leave anymore and I couldn't help but be thankful that my parents have been married for 25 years and they still love each other and I hope and pray that I will never put my kids through what the sextuplets and Mady and Cara are going through. I don't necessarily agree with the choices Jon and Kate have made towards the well being of their kids but I hope they can find a solution that doesn't affect the children's well being. Whether that solution is couples counseling, divorce, etc., please make it for the kids and not about the money or the fame. Family should be everyone's first priority.

Lily Locke said...

Okay, let's try the opposite end of the spectrum.

I am a teen. I also have five cats that I care for (see my blog). It's like a preschool.

I don't like Kate, but I am glad the kids are getting that house. They may have a domineering mother, but plenty of people have gotten over that. Their college educations are probably fully paid for, they live in a multi-million-dollar house, take consistent vacations, and pretty much lead a darn good life. MY GOSH, THEIR LIVES AREN'T RUINED! They're living in the lap of luxury.

I do feel bad for Mady and Cara. They are in school and kids are probably asking them uncomfortable questions that they have no right to be asking.

Kate's sole priority is her children - each one of them right now is a little dollar sign.

My5blessings said...

Okay, let's try the opposite end of the spectrum.

I am a teen. I also have five cats that I care for (see my blog). It's like a preschool.

I don't like Kate, but I am glad the kids are getting that house. They may have a domineering mother, but plenty of people have gotten over that. Their college educations are probably fully paid for, they live in a multi-million-dollar house, take consistent vacations, and pretty much lead a darn good life. MY GOSH, THEIR LIVES AREN'T RUINED! They're living in the lap of luxury.

I do feel bad for Mady and Cara. They are in school and kids are probably asking them uncomfortable questions that they have no right to be asking.

Kate's sole priority is her children - each one of them right now is a little dollar sign.
***********************************

Assuming you are being honest and are a teen, I will refrain a bit.

You contradict yourself in your post.

One sentence you say the children are just fine and living in the lap of luxury. And you end with "Each one of them right now is a little dollar sign."

I'm not sure how you view the "lap of luxury" but for me, it is measured by much more than wealth of a million dollar home.

As a matter of fact, by those standards --where I live, my children would be living in the lap of luxury! Sorry, not true.

I measure the lap of luxury by the amount of love, confidence, compassion, empathy, sympathy, understanding, ability to speak to my children openly, a beautiful relationship my husband and I willingly give to our children... one not based on how much income is generated by my children nor how many vacations they can buy us.

Material things go away and decay, vacations are forgotten ( perhaps in their case, maybe not.. inasmuch as some were horrific in nature and most likely not much fun for them.)

The unconditional love and stability a parent imparts to their children is everlasting. These are things money cannot buy and never will.

Please if you hear nothing else in this post, hear "unconditional." Love is unconditional and to "me" Love is a VERB, not a noun.
You SHOW your love, you don't just throw it out in a sentence or in front of glaring camera lights to make a buck.

Be careful how you measure success and a loving parent.

You have no idea if their lives are ruined. None of us know this for sure.

I will tell you, the more I listen to the professionals, the more I hear of the damage we've all suggested is occurring.

I'm THRILLED an investigation is taking place to see if child labor laws are being upheld. I'm TRILLED GWOP is in part the reason this is happening.

These Mods have been instrumental in making sure the Gosselins and families like them are out in the open, dirty laundry and all. I sincerely cannot applaud ALL of you enough. Thank God you cared enough to start this blog and continue with the tremendous upkeep it takes to keep it running smoothly. Job well done. I pray your reward is forthcoming in the way of protection for all children in this position.

As I continue to hear, "the tide is turning" I'm so happy for the children.
I long to no longer see their sweet faces on the cover of tabloid magazines..........

Lily Locke said...

No, My5Blessings, just lay it all out there. I've heard much worse.

When you say you think the family should have all their dirty laundry out there, let me remind you that it's those children's lives we're talking about. These are things those children are going to have to shoulder later in life, whether the show is there or not. These are their parents we're talking about, parents who they very much want to believe are all good and love them very much.

And when I said that at the end, I WAS BEING SMART! For heavens sake, get a freaking grip!

I realize children need love and affection - that is a given - but children also need financial stability, stability that they clearly would not have had if the show hadn't started.

Kate has taken it way too far.

And by the way, it is very clear when you watch them (aside from when they are the victims of Kate's childish antics) that they are happy children. They are laughing, happy children and it is clearly genuine happiness. That reads to me that their lives aren't ruined. Oh, and how can I tell they are genuinely happy? I have six cousins under ten. You don't need a doctorate to figure it out.

I come from the sociological perspective that success is measured by career and academic life. Perhaps you feel that's a bit cold of me, but I really don't care. Developmental errors inflicted by the parents, such as inadequate affection, are rarely as detrimental as you describe. Their home life is steady and constant, which has been proven to be the best thing you can give your children. A myriad of vacations and outings actually benefit the child. I know you probably don't want to hear this, My5Blessings, as you clearly feel this is pointless, but look it up.

And when you say you're glad that an investigation is taking place, remember that this is going to affect those kids, too. When they grow up and they find out that their father's affair was splayed across the tabloid, how is that going to affect them? I imagine that'll be more destroying.

By the way, "assuming you are a teen"? Look on Harvard's incoming freshman roster in about two years. Maybe that'll be proof enough.