Cooking Like Kate

With Kate's cookbook coming out soon, what better time to share your own Kate-like recipes with us! PB&J cut on the diagonal, cold cereal and milk, grapes on a plate.... we want to hear your secret family recipes. No doubt, you all have enough to write our own GWoP cookbook!

265 comments:

1 – 200 of 265   Newer›   Newest»
konspiracytheory said...

In our family, "Brinner" is always a big hit. I spend all day slaving over the stove, and the end result is pancakes...for dinner! I'm a little hesitant to reveal the recipe though because it is a family secret, after all...

Soup On's said...

I'm crossing my fingers that Kate will have her recipe for "Old Grandma Soup"!!!! That's what she was making on her soup day when she ruined her stove. I don't know how many times she said "Old Grandma Soup" but I was ready to kick a hole in the TV if she said it one more time. She made it sound like it was some genius recipe that she had come up with because she "saved all of her roasts and gravy" and turned it into soup. Hey, Kate, everybody else makes soup like that too only we call it "CLEANING OUT THE REFRIGERATOR"!!!! Oh, and by the way, Kate, it's not safe to defrost things on the counter....that's how you can give everyone food poisoning! Were you absent from nursing school the day they taught food safety?

Crystal said...

Milk, Lucky Charms --Print it!

Susan from New Orleans said...

I'm interested in the organic soup she made when her stove broke. It sounds good. I love a good soup with veggies.

Ana said...

Monday morning lunch for 6 kids:
take 6 white paper plates. Place them in 2 rows of 3 on the counter. not 3 rows of 2, but 2 rows of 3.
Take a handful of grapes and count out 3 grapes per plate.
Take a cube of organic cheese and slice two slices per plate. Place horizontally at the bottom of the plate parallel to each other.
Grab a small handful containing no more than 5 wheat thin crackers and place on the left hand side of each plate.
Plop each plate on the table in front of 6 kids.
Place a bib on each 5 year old child despite pleas from kids to stop treating them like babies. Pull up hair of Hannie into a pony on top of her hair so her long hair will not get messed up.
Pour Juicy Juice into 6 Olive Garden to go cups with straws. Pass out each cup to each child and place on the right hand side of the plate.
Tell children to eat and not make a mess.

There you have it.... lunch!

Sarah said...

Old Grandma Soup!
Those Grandma knees taste pretty yummy after simmering for 2 hours. Yum!

Damage Control said...

konspiracytheory said...
In our family, "Brinner" is always a big hit. I spend all day slaving over the stove, and the end result is pancakes...for dinner! I'm a little hesitant to reveal the recipe though because it is a family secret, after all...
___________________
I do hope you use a pizza cutter to cut said pancakes?

Shari said...

Ingredients:
1 'old Grandma' that you've disowned or discarded. (Any friend, volunteer, or relative will do if you've already gone through all the Grandma's)

1 deliciously delicious cupcake. (Best not to let your child choose the colors of the icing or decorate it themselves. Four year olds can be very irresponsible!)

What you do:
1. Make a giant pot of 'Old Grandma' soup.

2. Set the cupcake just out of child's reach.

3. Put bib on four year old.

4. Enjoy! Mmmm!

(NON-NEGOTIABLE RULE: Child must eat ALL of 'Old Grandma' or NO CUPCAKE FOR YOU!!!)

Robin said...

Edible playdoh!! (do NOT email and ask for the recipe. Buy the book!)

Monkey Munch!!! (permission granted by Chex to use and claim name)

Pancakes cut with pizza cutter!! (we thought of the idea ourselves!)

Mommy in PA said...

How about crackers & cheese with Juicy Juice!

Soup's On said...

Cooking note: Please do not confuse "Old Grandma" with "Daddy's mom"!! Your soup will NOT taste the same!

Mommy in PA said...

Ana said...
Monday morning lunch for 6 kids:
take 6 white paper plates. Place them in 2 rows of 3 on the counter. not 3 rows of 2, but 2 rows of 3.
Take a handful of grapes and count out 3 grapes per plate.
Take a cube of organic cheese and slice two slices per plate. Place horizontally at the bottom of the plate parallel to each other.
Grab a small handful containing no more than 5 wheat thin crackers and place on the left hand side of each plate.
Plop each plate on the table in front of 6 kids.
Place a bib on each 5 year old child despite pleas from kids to stop treating them like babies. Pull up hair of Hannie into a pony on top of her hair so her long hair will not get messed up.
Pour Juicy Juice into 6 Olive Garden to go cups with straws. Pass out each cup to each child and place on the right hand side of the plate.
Tell children to eat and not make a mess.

There you have it.... lunch!




................

I just sent a post for crackers and Juicy Juice, but it looks like you beat me to it. And so much funnier too! Haha!

konspiracytheory said...

konspiracytheory said...
In our family, "Brinner" is always a big hit. I spend all day slaving over the stove, and the end result is pancakes...for dinner! I'm a little hesitant to reveal the recipe though because it is a family secret, after all...
___________________
Damage Control said:

I do hope you use a pizza cutter to cut said pancakes?

-----------------------------
You'll just have to wait for my cookbook to find out. ;)

Just Moved said...

Ana said...
Monday morning lunch for 6 kids:
take 6 white paper plates. Place them in 2 rows of 3 on the counter. not 3 rows of 2, but 2 rows of 3.
Take a handful of grapes and count out 3 grapes per plate.
Take a cube of organic cheese and slice two slices per plate. Place horizontally at the bottom of the plate parallel to each other.
Grab a small handful containing no more than 5 wheat thin crackers and place on the left hand side of each plate.
Plop each plate on the table in front of 6 kids.
Place a bib on each 5 year old child despite pleas from kids to stop treating them like babies. Pull up hair of Hannie into a pony on top of her hair so her long hair will not get messed up.
Pour Juicy Juice into 6 Olive Garden to go cups with straws. Pass out each cup to each child and place on the right hand side of the plate.
Tell children to eat and not make a mess.

There you have it.... lunch!


Darn, Ana, you stole my recipe. You did forget to mention that some days you can skip the cheese and add two slices of cucumber per child.

The other day I watched the episode where they were getting ready to go and pick pumpkins. They used frozen waffles but before the waffles each child was given about eight cheerios. It actually looked like they counted them out. Oh, yeah, we sure see a lot of this mommy cooking delicious homemade goodies for her family.

Melina said...

I wonder why Kate doesn't have a vegetable garden to grow her own organic vegetables.

Their old yard was large enough for a garden.

Their new yard is big enough for a whole field of vegetables.

LisaH said...

Ana said...
Monday morning lunch for 6 kids:
take 6 white paper plates. Place them in 2 rows of 3 on the counter. not 3 rows of 2, but 2 rows of 3.
Take a handful of grapes and count out 3 grapes per plate.
Take a cube of organic cheese and slice two slices per plate. Place horizontally at the bottom of the plate parallel to each other.
Grab a small handful containing no more than 5 wheat thin crackers and place on the left hand side of each plate.
Plop each plate on the table in front of 6 kids.
Place a bib on each 5 year old child despite pleas from kids to stop treating them like babies. Pull up hair of Hannie into a pony on top of her hair so her long hair will not get messed up.
Pour Juicy Juice into 6 Olive Garden to go cups with straws. Pass out each cup to each child and place on the right hand side of the plate.
Tell children to eat and not make a mess.

There you have it.... lunch!

___________________________________


LOL. Too funny. I love the line about placing the organic cheese "horizontally at the bottom of the plate parallel to each other"

mamatucci said...

dry cereal in a cup. all the food groups are covered right?

RaisingTriplets said...

On busy nights we spread some butter on bread, unwrap the cheese singles, and throw it all together on the foreman grill for one minute. Pull it off the grill...use a pizza cutter to slice it on the diagonal. Done.
If you're really hungry you may also want to use the manual can-opener to open a can of campbell's soup, dump it into a bowl and toss it in the microwave for a minute -- Waa-Laa soup & sammiches!!!
I'm talented, I know!

Aunty Anne said...

Jon's Sunday Breakfast on The Go

Carefully pour dry cereal in little cloth pouches and hand to children in their car seats. Add cup of juice to each child's hand.

Not a bad idea, actually!

Just Moved said...

mamatucci said...
"dry cereal in a cup. all the food groups are covered right?"


Actually, the morning they had the few cheerios preceding the frozen waffles the cheerios were just thrown on the table in front of each child. No cups were used that day.

Mrs. H said...

dry cereal in a cup. all the food groups are covered right?
-----------------------------------

I was going to say this too! Beat me to it. But remember it must be a plastic cup.

And as I write this, my daughter just spilled her whole cup of Cheerios into her lap. I forgot to put a bib on ;-)

jeff said...

1 Cup JuicyJuice®

6-7 Nabisco® Wheat Thins® crackers

1/2 Cup General Mills® Cheerios® cereal

Pour juice into Playtex® sippy cup. Place cereal and crackers on Chinet® Paper Plates. Serve to guests wearing coordinating outfits from Gymboree® (host should wear Ann Taylor Loft®)

Teri said...

OMG!!
if you all put these recipes together-what a great cookbook. i would buy it. i love this. good one everyone.

jill said...

My mother said she should name her book, "Trailer Park Cuisine!"

duggarfan said...

For all of my old recipes made on my old too small stove that I later exploded so I could get a free new one, please contact my um chef, er um, cook, er um, helper...Sara Snow. Any current recipes made on my new much larger whirlpool stove are being prepared by my friend Emeril. Stay tuned to next season.

I WILL, however, share my recipe for tomato and onion salad that we eat ALL the time. Jon and I could live on it. Oh, and actually now I do, thus my newly thin figure (I throw some carrots in for a healthy orange glow). But I only make it on Saturdays. Please check back 2 days from now.

duggarfan said...

Oh, and I almost forgot, in my new book I will feature 2 special chapters:

--100 and 1 ways to eat Hummus
--1/2 a cow (organic cow)--it's what's for dinner

Enjoy!

jill said...

Y'all know who will be the ghost writer for this book...Craft services! LOL

Hey, Beth, have any recipes you want to publish????


I am really hoping there is a recipe for ORGANIC MACAROONS!!!! LOL

Meg said...

My mom is famous for her Kate like recipe called "Whistles." What are they you ask? Well it is tomatoe soup with noodles....and there you have whistles!
Oh, and add that grilled cheese for a really Katesque meal!

timetogokon said...

Ana said...
Monday morning lunch for 6 kids:
take 6 white paper plates.

--------------------------

KON has said that they double the paper plates at each meal. Yes folks, that's at least 16 paper plates per meal that is wasted.

I didn't count Keight and Jane because they are too busy maintaining their privacy eating at Hollywood hot spots.

the other judy said...

OMG, Crystal...we must have a similar sense of humor because your post made me roll!!
Everyone here is hilarious.

5under5 said...

For this meal you’ll need:
8 paper plates
7 containers of organic yogurt
1 Container of hummus
1 box of crackers
Hard boiled eggs
1 box of Granola

Steps:
1. Make sure your kids are hungry
2. Start two loads of laundry
3. Place a handful of crackers, a
container of yogurt, and a
scoop of hummus on each paper
plate.
4. Granola can be substituted if the child “is of age”. (Note: children must also be a certain age to eat bagels or…well you don’t want to know)
5. The eggs? They’re a conversation piece.
6. Send your merry kids on their way.
She’ll probably take the credit for the Korean meal because Jon cooked it in her kitchen.

one_lovable_cutiepie said...

Ana clap clap: that was a great recap
I wonder if any of the recipes in the fantastic book will have mushrooms in it. As you know the organic queenie doesnt know how to clean a mushroom.

I can see the cover now. A perfect fake kitchen whirlpool appliances ( stainless steel) flowers arranged around the kitchen and Kate giving that joker smile.

Denise2 said...

I have to LOL about the pizza cutter to cut up pancakes. My twins are 16 and I used the pizza cutter to cut up pancakes, french toast, you name it.

My recipe for K8
Sell your soul and pimp your kids out on TV. Have craft services provide food to you. You'll have more time to complain about how tired you are

RealMom said...

Don't forget before eating any meal, please take every shoe, boot, slipper, flip flop, etc., you own (10 people x 2 feet each = how many shoes??) and deposit it in the entry of the beautiful $1.3 million dollar home paid for by the masses. This always aids in the digestion of any meal cooked by Kate.

jojo said...

1) Pick up the phone
2) Dial 7 numbers (10 if you need to add the area code)
3) Order-make sure to ask if they are organic
4) Wait for delivery
5) Line up 8 paper plates (should probably use three per child for this one
6) Enjoy your fabulously fabulous organic Pizza
7) Feel good about yourself because you have cultured your children by exposing them to "ethnic" food.

Tangerine Tanya said...

Monday- Dry cereal with a side of
milk.

Tuesday- Cereal with milk added.

Wednesday- Dry cereal with a side
of milk.

Thursday- Cereal with a side of
milk.

Friday - Dry cereal with a side of
milk.

Saturday- Frozen waffles

Sunday - Pancakes (Yeah)

No bagles and granola
unless your name is
Mady or Cara.

Aunt Chris said...

All these recipes sound delicious, but I think we're forgetting the most important part of a happy family dinner:

NEVER, under any circumstances, do Mom and Dad sit down to share a meal with the children.

Oh Brother said...

On Valentines Day make heart shaped pancakes and jack them up with a pizza cutter before presenting them to your family thus defeating the whole purpose of the heart shaped pancakes.

Sugarpop said...

I really hope she includes a recipe for "Kate's Birthday Cupcakes."

1 gourmet bakery cupcake
various gourmet bakery frosting selections

Prep time: 82 seconds

1. Select cupcakey thing in paper wrapper (I love that they use paper products like I do!)
2. Frost cupcake very carefully
3. DO NOT EAT THIS CUPCAKE UNTIL YOU HAVE HAD DINNER, even if you are hungry-ish
4. On second thought, if you are a girl you can have your cupcake, but if you are an icky boy, you CANNOT eat it.
5. Complain about how horrendously horrendous the messy frosting on these cupcakes was
6. Most importantly, DO NOT ACKNOWLEDGE the gourmet bakers in any way - they are merely here to serve us. I mean, you.

Sugarpop said...

Soup's On: Your comment was very FUNNY!!!

Cheryl B said...

On my special hints page:

Romance= When you get that RARE treat out with your husband at a nice restaurant, make an a** out of
yourself stealing food off his plate. My secret is my rubber wrists slinging in your face when you try to take your plate away. Then exclaim how romantic this is!

Warning-My secret wrists moves are for pro shrews only. If you are not a pro you could damage something. I may sell the secret to my moves in my next book. BEVHILLS SHREW 90210.

Moons in Leo said...

Oh Lordy Be! You folks are just too funny.

Everytime someone slices a sandwich diagonally do we have to pay K8 for infringing on her patented invention?

What about her wonderful FLAG CAKE that only girls are allowed to help with?

No strawberries for you, Joel!

NCLindsey said...

Movie Night Special:

-Pop two bags of organic popcorn.

-While popcorn is popping, line 8 styrofoam cups on a tray.

-Carefully dump aforementioned popped popcorn into each cup (because if you spill any, game over for you!)

-Top each cup filled with popcorn with a treat (one M&M for a pee, and two M&Ms for a poop!)

-Angrily snatch any child's popcorn away if they have the gall to spill just one piece (serves them right!)

-Enjoy your family movie night by watching Discovery Channel's Planet Earth and name the animals after your children, but do not comfort them when they are scarred for life when one animal eats another.

Maverick said...

Let your children cook!
Find a crazy complicated recipe for your two eight years old to cook on their own. Make sure it involves a hot oven! The recipe needs to be way beyond the skills for this age, and more difficult than anything that you yourself have cooked! Be sure it is being filmed so that you can giggle at their failure! Makes a mom feel superior every time!

NCLindsey said...

Help me out with Kate's fabulous brown bag lunch campaign...

1 sandwich (of the peanut butter/jelly variety)
1 string cheese or yogurt
Something crunchy (like crackers)
And a special treat (Kate is fond of organic lollipops and macaroons)

Personally, I feel it is slightly unbalanced (hello, fruits or vegetables?), but perhaps I am forgetting somethin from the list?

Kath in MI said...

Hi!
This probably isn't the spot to post for the first time, but I've been reading this site for a couple of days and it's a hoot!

Anyway, I'd like to know more about the fruit/flag cake she made at the NC beach house. I saw that in a magazine about 10 years ago, but didn't realize Kate invented it?!

Also, caught a few minutes of a re-run the other night. They were all sitting down to lunch and the crowning touch of that meal was microwave popcorn. I was hoping that recipe would be incuded as well!

Cheetah said...

Start with a recipe that your daughters successfully made with their cooking classmates. (It's not like a cookbook author can teach her daughters to cook at home; she must send them to cooking class). Resist the urge to follow the recipe carefully; after all, that's your daughters' job. Make fun of the finished product when it does not turn out correctly. Crack jokes about not eating anything a child makes. After a few tastes are handed out, scrape the remaining cake into the trash as your daughters watch. Tell your husband how lucky he is not to have gotten any, because he was tending to the sick boy you placed on the laundry room floor.

Cheryl B said...

Pudding Paint

Chocolate pudding
Paint brushes
High speed water hose
Someone else's home

You can use any organic pudding. I use the single serving cups it is easier. Dump enough pudding to
fill bowls, give kids paint brushes
and let them paint each other. Don't worry about the mess, it's not your house.

When you are through crank the hose up full blast and hose em off.
This will probably sting the kids but oh well!

Jen K said...

Hither Tither and Yon Breakfast

Ingredients:

Dry Cereal (organic, of course)
8 feedbags used for ponies

Attach feedbag around each child's ears, all while being careful so as not to make their hair "frumply". Make sure they are wearing bibs!

Instruct each child to lower head into feedbag, in order to eat cereal without using hands so as not to dirty them.

When you arrive at your destination after driving hither, thither and yon, remove nearly 5-year old child's head from feedbag long enough to remove their bib and give them Juicy Juice in a baby bottle (even sippies are too messy in the car).

Repeat for the return trip, yon, thither, hither (in reverse).

Enjoy!

Narcissism Please said...

here's a classic i know everyone will love!


"Ice Cream Goes Bye-Byes"
note: locations specifics are not unyielding, whereas outside temperature IS integral in creating such a treat.


What you need:
- kids, and lots of them. preferably, lots of kids under the age of ten.

- heat. lots of heat [as mentioned in 'note.']

- ice cream, on a stick, covered in a milk-chocolate like coating [organic, optional .. yet not available.]
note: works best if frozen treat resembles that of a cartooned mouse-head

- one ocd-ish humanish woman figure

-one lackluster humanish male figure

-nine other helpless bystanders, rendered so with heavy film equipment and/or locally appropriate ensemble.


Preparation:
schlop together, and enjoy!



for best results, make sure to be equipped with only one-half wetnap and zero pairs of changing-clothes, per child.
that is, for best results.

Kate can cook?????? said...

These posts are so funny that I just pooped in my unerwears!

I don't know what's funnier- these posts or the fact that there really is a "cookbook" being published with her original ingenious recipes. Honestly, how humiliating for her!

3ts said...

I've been wondering too why the Gosselins haven't mentioned putting in a garden on their land since they now have so much....since they eat so organic and all.
Let their kids discover nature, get dirty (oh Lordy Be!) and feel good about growing something. They even could make money off of it by filming the kids in the garden, since the kids are the money makers. Aaden can grow his own corn on the cob.
Kate's kids seem to eat like birds compared to what my kids ate at that age.

Kath in MI said...

Pudding Paint

Chocolate pudding
Paint brushes
High speed water hose
Someone else's home


Loved this! A couple of other things special about this recipe...

Water temp should be below freezing

Is also edible from ALL parts of body, even an hour later in 85 degree heat and direct sun

Emma's Mom said...

So, she really is trying to kill us!

wramblinwreck said...

Organic crackers
Organic cheese

Place a piece of cheese between two crackers: cracker sandwiches!

Dessert: Organic strawberries

ONE strawberry per child (and none for Joel).

Can I have my Kate Gosselin School of Culinary Arts Grand Super Supreme Award for Creativity in Cooking award now??

mucysmartermom said...

Seriously so funny!!! I'm pretty sure the Flag cake was on the cover of Better Homes and Gardens when I was a kid!!! Sorry Kate, YOU DID NOT INVENT IT!!! Jon, you were suckered again.
Oh, and my Mom was putting shredded carrots in her meatloaf long before you "invented" that one also!!!
And give me a break on the paper plates. I have 5 kids ( didn't have them all at once). We recycle, we use real dishes, and real cloth napkins. In fact my daughters help me cut and sew simple napkins in fun fabrics. Yep, I took them to the fabric store, we picked out fabric and I taught them how to sew.
But then I'm just trying to be a normal Mom.

DeeB said...

Fix a meal. Serve a meal. Clean a meal. Deal with bodily fluids. That's my day!

Recipe for a perfect day:

Cereal for breakfast.

Grapes and crackers for lunch.

Call Craft Services for dinner on the 3 to 4 filming days per week. On the other nights have dinner delivered by Organic Chef.

When finished you have to have your husband bathe and put all children to bed. You will be unable to read a bed time story to them as well as you will have collapsed because YOU WILL BE EXHAUSTED from........

Fix a meal, serve a meal, clean up a meal and on and on it goes.

Me thinks this will be a really, really short cookbook.

mollybloom said...

Something crunchy, something smooth, something solid, something liquid, something round, something flat, something tall, something short.

Brown paper bag to contain all of the above.

It's the Brown Bag Lunch (!) that earned Kate a trip and a nice promotional fee. Somehow I think that gig ended, or she'd still be talking it up.

Carrie said...

this is the funniest thing i've read all day! thank you all so much for your wonderful, original recipes! man, have we learned so much from Katie!

homeschoolin' mom said...

Organic-all-natural-peanut butter (deep breath after pronouncing all that pretentiousness) smeared on a tortilla, roll up a banana in it.
Voila! Banana burrito.
Horrendously easy, but I'll still sigh and complain that no one helped me....

Laurie said...

OK Jon, you can do it, you can do it - in fact any husband can do it. Put the popcorn bag in the microwave and push the amazingly amazing button on the microwave and TA DA! popcorn. You don't have to do anything but put it in and take it out because this new microwave is sooooooo smart. The microwave actually knows when the popcorn is done!

Sugar high for kids: 8 kids all under the age of 10 at a picnic. Organic marshmallow fluff and organic peanut butter on organic white bread. No, no, no, it's not empty sugar callories in the fluff - it's good for you becasue it's organic. Then you can go out and have and ice cream supper! YUM!

Since your kids seemed to love the smores at the back yard camp out, here's a hint for you Kate - use the marshmallow fluff and spread it on grahm crackers with Nutella and you've got smores. Damn it, the Nutella is not organic. Oh well if I see this in your cookbook I'm going to sue!

lindahoyt said...

Well, I put Eggo's in the toaster, all the while crying out that I need one with "six places"....then I let the kids eat ice cream from our favorite ice cream place!!

Teen1 said...

I am seriously peeing my pants laughing. This is my favoritest (spelling, Kate?) comment section ever! LOL! Please keep 'em coming...

lindahoyt said...

Jill, I don't know how there can be a recipe for macaroons...isn't that 'wasting coconuts'?

(Hawaii trip, she complained that they had drinks in coconuts...it was 'wasting them'!)

Twinner said...

What do I do if my microwave doesn't have a popcorn button thingy?

Seriously, yesterday my 2-4 year old child care class used a juicer to make about 10 different (non-organic) juices of various combinations. It was a blast. I also let them use the left over pulp as a "playdough" like experience. Messy but fun. Tasty too!

Tammy H. said...

This is Kate's "Old Grandma Soup"

Grandma Vegetable Soup-
Makes 10 Servings

1 Soup bone w/meat
1 Onion; chopped
3 Carrots; sliced
3 Potatoes
5 Stalks of celery
Green beans
Corn
1 can (large) Tomatoes
1 Handful Barley or alphabet macaroni
3 Bay leaves
Salt

Boil soup bone in water enough to cover for 1 1/2 to 2 hours - until meat comes off bone easily. Remove bone - when cool enough - remove meat and cut fine. Return meat to stock - add onion, carrots potatoes celery, greenbeans, corn (not creamed) and tomatoes and bay leaves - add more water if needed - cook on a low fire after first coming to a boil. After 1 hour-stir in barley or macaroni - cook another 1/2 to 1 hour - stir often as the barley will stick to pan and burns.

Now what's so special about this recipe? Nothing, we all do about the same thing..but you know Kate's good at everything she does!I found her recipes a while back even Jon's secret family recipe for Korean Beef Bulgogi. I had posted all her recipes (which to me are kind of bland) on another post on this site. I don't really think the book would be worth buying cause if you have watched her make her meatloaf..ugh! There's nothing special about it..which is why I am sure she had TONS OF HELP and maybe that's why Emeril made a visit to the show in March 2009(Season 5, yes, season 5)so those recipes will be in the book, too.

And here is her recipe for the PB playdoh:
Peanut Butter PlayDoh:

1/2 cup peanut butter
1/2 cup honey
1 cup powdered milk
Knead until smooth but add a dash of flour for texture

How simple..and she acts like she's works at a 5 star restaurant!

I say if you want 1 of the recipes, legitimate recipe, go to book store, look it up, bend down, get your little notebook out, write it down and run out of the store...Yeah, it's bad, but I wouldn't give her a dime to get another skunk cut for anything.

lindahoyt said...

Oh DUH! NOW I get why they are opening season 5 with Emeril!!!

It is a plug for Kate's new cook book!

Joking aside, has anyone ever seen anything on the show, besides Jon's Korean dinner, that looked good to eat?

Remember when Jodi had the kids at her house, and was cooking with ALL the kids, making any recipe out of the twin's cook book, of the twin's choice?

Remember how threatened and jealous Kate was, and she quickly inserted the exclamation that, "I am generally the COOK of the family; and Jodi is the BAKER"....LOL!

I guess she has to try to prove that she does SOMETHING cuz all we ever see is Jon playing with the kids; Jon taking the boys on their "special day with Mommy and Daddy" all alone; Jon giving the kids a bath, brushing their teeth, and putting them to bed; Jon making their beds; Jon cleaning up the dining table; Jon being told it is time to clean up toys; and Jon cleaning up play rooms; Jon cleaning up bedrooms...

Laurie said...

Hey homeschoolin' mom.....add a little bit of cinnamon sugar (organic of course) to those banana burritos - YUM!!!

Jimmy said...

Remember when she told Gossie that he's not a real cook if he has to use a recipe? So she's writing "How not to Cook."

Good thing that old frumpily hotseat didn't swallow them both up. As Gossie said---it had to be reinforced so many times. Maybe from all the uncomfortable squirming.

Molly said...

Recipe for a Roadtrip

Jon: Dress kids. Haul everything to the car and strap 8 kids in carseats/seatbelts.

Kate: Sit in passenger seat and ask Jon if he remembered to bring a water for himself.

Jon: return to garage for water as Kate tells you to bring her one, too! When you return you can go back and get her sunglasses.

Jon: serve and enjoy!

Not buying it! said...

All joking aside, I am seriously curious what recipes this "cookbook" is going to have in it. I'm sure even the sheeple would agree that Kate is culinarily (that's for you Kate) challenged! Aside from Jon making Korean food and that farce episode "Kate makes soup", she has done nothing more that make pb&j sandwiches and throw grapes on a paper plate.
I suspect K8 just compiled all of the kid's favourite CRAFT SERVICE meals and favourite meals the family's ORGANIC chef has prepared for them and is calling it her own.

I can't wait for the day that she goes away.

Anonymomma said...

Sarah said...
Old Grandma Soup!
Those Grandma knees taste pretty yummy after simmering for 2 hours. Yum!



-------------------

ROFLMAO! I'm like, nine posts down into reading and already laughing my butt off!

Anonymomma said...

I!

WANT!

A!


BAY!


GUL!

Tami said...

I haven't read any of the comments yet so I don't know if someone beat me to it, but I know exactly what she will have in that book! She is not the least bit subtle when it comes to plugging things to come. Let's see..
Edible play-doh
Tomato, onion and parsely salad (yuck)
Old Grandma soup
Broccoli Cheese soup
Hummus (for sure--that's all she ever talks about!)
Monkey Munch
That messy cheesey sandwich thing
Jon's Korean food
Flag Cake (lol)
Sandwiches cut diagonally

Stupid, stupid, stupid! None of these are her recipes!! Sheeple are so ignorant to buy this crap.

momoffoursons said...

I want to thank each of you for the laugh. I was having a terrible day until I read your favorite recipes from jk+8. I laughed so hard the tears rolled. Feel kind of guilty seeing that the whole situation is really sad. Let's face it, her cookbook should really just say....cereal boxes, magazines,Internet and the yellow pages.

Tami said...

I invented peanut butter sandwiches : )

Tami said...

Seriously so funny!!! I'm pretty sure the Flag cake was on the cover of Better Homes and Gardens when I was a kid!!! Sorry Kate, YOU DID NOT INVENT IT!!! Jon, you were suckered again.
*******
In 1976 I was 8 years old and made a cake exactly like that for the bicentennial. lol

Laurie said...

Hey Tammy H - her Peanut Butter PlayDoh is the recipe that I use to make peanut butter balls (minus the flour). I use these as a healthy snack and give my puppy pills in the middle of them.

To make, mix everything together and roll into balls. Roll the balls in anything (powdered sugar, crushed cereal, crushed nuts, etc) and refrigerate. In an airtight container they'll keep forever in the fridge. Dogs love them and take the pills without a problem.

stylistgehe said...

I think Jon should write a bar book to go with kates cook book. He could inclued all the mixed drinks that he enjoys while he is taking care of his mother, wink wink

Anonymomma said...

Tammy H. said...
This is Kate's "Old Grandma Soup"

Grandma Vegetable Soup-
Makes 10 Servings

1 Soup bone w/meat
1 Onion; chopped
3 Carrots; sliced
3 Potatoes
5 Stalks of celery
Green beans
Corn
1 can (large) Tomatoes
1 Handful Barley or alphabet macaroni
3 Bay leaves
Salt


----------------------

Substitute the bones for carcasses (sp?) and you've got yerself some tasty vittles.

lindahoyt said...

Why does everyone mention "diagonal cut" sandwhiches?

What did I miss here?

Emiku said...

Love Is in the Mix: Making Meals into Memories (Hardcover)
by Jon and Kate Gosselin

This title will be released on October 27, 2009.

Product Description
If you enjoyed Multiple Blessings and Eight Little Faces, you won't want to miss this inside look at one of America's most famous close-knit families. Kate Gosselin shares recipes, traditions, photos, and more that will inspire you to make your family time more memorable and meaningful.

From the Back Cover
Fans of Multiple Blessings and Eight Little Faces won’t want to miss this inside look at one of America’s most famous close-knit families. Jon and Kate Gosselin, parents of twins and sextuplets three years apart (and all under the age of ten), know firsthand how to make mealtimes memorable for their family. In this engaging book, Kate shares:

Nutritious recipes the whole family will enjoy
How to craft family traditions that create happy memories
Meaningful mealtime blessings
How to begin eating organically
How to feed a large family on a budget
… and more!

Kate also offers insight into handling picky eaters, making lunchtime fun, planning meals for vacations, and making ordinary days extra special. Family photos and humorous anecdotes add personality and charm to this endearing book

Source: http://www.amazon.com/Love-Mix-Making-Meals-Memories/dp/0310323770/ref=pd_bbs_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1238104890&sr=8-1

organic pizza hut said...

The name of this recipe is "You Get What You Get"

Ingredients: 8 single serve containers of yogurt (assorted flavors)

1) Obtain single serve yogurt cups from craft services table.

2)Open yogurt and place in front of child.

3) If there are any complaints, kindly point the offender to the title of the recipe.

4) Throw yogurt containers into trash.

Mary said...

Hi

Kate have a GARDEN??????? you want kate to bend down and get items out of the DIRT... She will never eat another veggie again when she finds out the grow in the dirt

Mary

Oh Brother said...

DeeB,
That was great!

Amy said...

And let's not forget the put dry cereal in a feed bag and hang it around the kid's neck so they can eat in the car. Its a time saver and a fashion statement.

Katie RN said...

You people are hilarious!!! Ana, Jeff, and homeschoolin' mom~you nailed it!

But let's explore the burning FAQ's directly from the horse's mouth (by way of the Gosselin's website)...

BREAKFAST:

"How many boxes of cereal do you all eat in a week? A year?

We eat about two boxes a day…so you do the math. :) "

aka, are you listening, Post?

LUNCH:

"I read somewhere that you have a private chef—is that true?

Yes, her name is Kate and thank you for respectfully referring to me as a “private chef”!!! Okay, seriously now, on filming days, we have what is known (in the world of TV) as “craft services” which is a meal delivered on set for the cast and crew. And on busy shoot days, that is what we have delivered here in organic fashion…and thank God for that! It allows me to peel myself out of the kitchen to do outings or interviews for the show without compromising my families’ nutrition. On the other days, I am in my kitchen cooking…where I most love to be!"

aka: once a year I clean out the freezer and make soup (hopefully not overworking the stove -are you listening, Lowes?), but on most days (when I'm off loooving my job in California, hither, tither, and yon), TLC and the not-a-nanny take care of my children. On special occasions, Jon will culture us with Korean food or Mady and Cara will struggle with a recipe until I take over and kick everybody out of the kitchen (do not step over the imaginary line!)


DINNER:

"What types of meals do you cook for the family? Where can I find some of the recipes?

I cook from scratch and of course (do I need to mention it again?) organically. The main reason there are none of my recipes posted anywhere is because I don’t use recipes a lot of the time…someday when I get a chance to write my recipes down, I’ll put them out here for all who are dying for them (please don’t though…I personally don’t think they’re worth you giving your life)."

in other words: good news!!! Now that the babies are potty-trained (and Cara is on butt-wiping duty) and Jon quit his job as an IT analyst to stay home and give baths full-time, I finally have time to compile the long-awaited cookbook!!! It may not be worth giving your life for, but it's been worth my childrens'!

Dee Dee said...

I remember being surprised that she would make one small, puny flag cake in NC intending to feed 3adults and 8 children and was shocked to see about half the cake still left afterwards! How small are her portion sizes?

Jane in California said...

Anonymous Soup's On said...

Cooking note: Please do not confuse "Old Grandma" with "Daddy's mom"!! Your soup will NOT taste the same!


OMG - hilarious!

Anonymomma said...

Mary said...
Hi

Kate have a GARDEN??????? you want kate to bend down and get items out of the DIRT... She will never eat another veggie again when she finds out the grow in the dirt

Mary
-----------------
Betcha she'd lick her fingers clean if she knew there was manure in there.

laura weiss said...

You guys are making me spit falafel out, I am laughing so hard. Now I have tahini in my nostrils.

KATE'S OLD GRANDMA SOUP

Step One: Explain to children what a "Grandma" is.

Step Two: Throw a lot of nasty crap into a soup pot and boil the hell out of it.

Step Three: Manage to break stove during the cooking process.

Step Four: Voila! Another freebie.

Step Five: Act peevish and entitled while making sarcastic asides to your best friend (also known as "the camera").

********
KATE'S FAMILY DINNER

Step One: Tell the Not-A-Nanny over the phone to forage for dinner for the kids from the Craft Services table.

Step Two: Hang up! Your reservation at Mr. Chow is ready.

Mary said...

I must have missed something....

Can you please tell me when these items became organic?
Crackers
Juicy juicy
cheerios/ cereal
those horrible pre made waffles
When was the last time all members were at HOME sat down for a family meal?

does this family ever give thanks before a meal or going to bed.
I feel for Mady she looked so sad at the basketball game. She was not asked out to center or she was also did not get to have her finger on the ball. Watch her Kate made sure she got to use it. Where were the kids shirts there got Jon had his on. Maybe sold already on Ebay.

I am Curious said...

What is Old Grandma Soup?

ClevelandRocks said...

I recently taught my nephew how to "cook" ice cubes. He's 6 and has never seen ice cubes made, everyone has an ice maker except for me. He was quite enchanted with the discovery that not only did I make my own ice cubes, but I also had to break the trays to make them into cubes. So I'll share my recipe with you.

Empty frozen cubes into ice bucket

Turn on water

Fill trays

Shove in freezer

Wait about 6 hours and enjoy ice.

MM2005 said...

Did the cookbook blurb state she had tips for handling picky eaters? What picky eaters has she dealt with? Is she actually planning to detail her methods for coaxing children to eat -- arm grabs, hard pinches, verbal abuse and periodic missed meals?

ruthy said...

NCLindsey said...
Movie Night Special:

-Pop two bags of organic popcorn.

-While popcorn is popping, line 8 styrofoam cups on a tray.

==============================

Now don't forget NCLindsey.....

Jon and Kate have this fabulous thing called a new, stainless microwave and guess what??

There is a button on it just for popcorn! Can you believe it? I am speechless!

Absolutely amazing! Jon and Kate are so "cultured".

ImFrancie said...

Oh. My. Gawd. Old Grandma Soup. The conspicuous absence of grandparents in the Gosselin universe is starting to make sense to me now, same with Jon's recent trip to his mother's. Injured foot, yeah, right. He wasn't there to "help", he was fetching ingredients for the next batch.

[Note: Grandpas can be used in a pinch, but the results tend to be tougher and stringer.]

I'm starting to worry about other sudden disappearances from this show. Does anyone know, has Kate mentioned recipes for "Auntie Casserole" or "Nanny Nuggets"?

Shari said...

Anonymomma ~
I'm gonna have to send you to time out now.

carolyn said...

For the 4th of July:
replicate the flag cake I made in the 4th of July episode do the following:

Copy it off the lid of any Cool Whip container and say you came up with the idea yourself!!

Aunt Lulu said...

Ingredients:
1 coupon for Pizza Hut
1 Phone
1 Not-Nanny w/ transportation
1 Wad of Cash donated by loving Christians.

Directions:
Call Pizza Hut, place order, make sure to tell them you have a coupon. Send Not-Nanny to pick up pizzas using love offering to pay. Place 1 slice of pizza on each paper-plate and serve.

*Note: Be sure you order ORGANIC. Pizza Hut has that now.

Soup's On said...

I am Curious said...
What is Old Grandma Soup?
****************************************************

It's when Kate cleans her freezer out and dumps all the cartons of old roast and gravy in a pot and as Laura Weiss described it in her post "boils the hell out of it." She puts a lot of vegetables (organic as Jon reminded us) in it and she calls it "Old Grandma" soup because according to Kate, it's something an old grandma would make. Big deal! It's vegetable soup like everyone else makes when they clean out the refrigerator. She then divides it into containers, freezes it, then takes out the frozen soup and thaws it on the kitchen counter all day. She serves it with your choice of a side of salmonella or botulism.

Soup's On said...

Oh by the way, I Am Curious, as I said before, please do not confuse "Old Grandma" with "Daddy's Mom" because your soup will NOT taste the same! No substitutions!

timetogokon said...

Why does everyone mention "diagonal cut" sandwhiches?

What did I miss here?

------------------------

This was posted last year but in light of the current thread, deserves to be revisited. Get ready to be inspired everyone !!

http://www.stltoday.com/blogzone/recipe-exchange/recipe-exchange/2008/09/school-lunches-advice-from-an-expert-kate-gosselin-mother-of-8/

Tangerine Tanya said...

These are the necessary food item's listed in Kate Cook Book.

How to make 101 meals out of:

1. Juice
2. Cucumbers
3. Cheese
4. Grapes
5. Yogurt
6. Crackers
7. Cereal

4girlsoneboy said...

"Kate also offers insight into handling picky eaters, making lunchtime fun, planning meals for vacations, and making ordinary days extra special. Family photos and humorous anecdotes add personality and charm to this endearing book"


the above was quoted from the back cover of Kate's new cookbook. I died laughing when I saw that she is including making ordinary days special. Much more believable if it had said she makes special days ordinary. Can anyone forget Christmas dinner served from aluminum foil pans on paper plates?

I cannot believe that this Christian publisher would print such crud. Seems they have also gotten on the Gosselin gravy train.

Oh Brother said...

Molly and Anonymomma,

Too Funny!

muchsmartermom said...

Oh, Kate--my Early Child Education Class that I took in 9th grade (let's just say somewhere in the late 1970's) we made peanut butter playdough!!!!! Surprize--once again you didn't invent it!!! Jon suckered again.
We also made kool-aid play dough (which I still make for my youngest) And oh the colors and smells it makes!!!

I've been laughing non stop reading this stuff--You guys could write a book and I would buy it.

older and wiser said...

And here is her recipe for the PB playdoh:
Peanut Butter PlayDoh:

1/2 cup peanut butter
1/2 cup honey
1 cup powdered milk
Knead until smooth but add a dash of flour for texture

How simple..and she acts like she's works at a 5 star restaurant!
****************
The recipe I always used for PB playdough calls for pb, honey & powdered milk - and is from my copy of "Feed Me! I'm Yours" by Vicki Lansky. The edition I have is from 1980, but the book was first published in 1974 so it's actually been around longer than Kon has!

Casey and Smudge said...

Don't forget make-ahead meals, I think Kate invented that too. Chicken, potatoes, veggies - season and bake straight from the fridge while Ma flies all over America earning her "Mother of the Millennium" title.

Anyone can make a meatloaf their own. I like hickory or brown sugar bbq sauce slathered over the top of mine. I roll it like a jelly roll around spicy Monterrey Jack cheese and sauteed zucchini, carrots, onions, red peppers, garlic, and fresh basil. Am I cookbook worthy? Not likely, it's probably already out there in print! I guarantee I didn't pull it out of the air. There's nothing new under the sun.

Perhaps she'll reinvent lasagna, pizza, spaghetti sauce (with hidden veggies pureed in!), stir fry, macaroni and cheese,...

Her budgeting advice - shop the sales, buy in bulk, use coupons, plan your meals, take all the freebies you can get!

Soup's On said...

I'm sorry, but if my boys opened up their lunch bag at school and saw some of that crap waiting for them, they would vomit. Mustard, ham, cheese, and apple on brown bread? YUCK! And a hummus wrap? What is her obsession with hummus!!! And a little note in their lunch...."Just my way sending love along with them to school." Too, too sweet! I'll bet the note says, "This is all organic." Mother of the year!

Fay said...

Tonight Gosselins for a special desert Gum, because you deserve it.

Anonymomma said...

ImFrancie said...
Oh. My. Gawd. Old Grandma Soup. The conspicuous absence of grandparents in the Gosselin universe is starting to make sense to me now, same with Jon's recent trip to his mother's. Injured foot, yeah, right. He wasn't there to "help", he was fetching ingredients for the next batch.

[Note: Grandpas can be used in a pinch, but the results tend to be tougher and stringer.]

I'm starting to worry about other sudden disappearances from this show. Does anyone know, has Kate mentioned recipes for "Auntie Casserole" or "Nanny Nuggets"?
--------------------------------

I just laughed so hard I woke the baby up, that was AWESOME!


PS- Anyone else remember her smearing apple butter on bread and feeding it to the little ones in the first episode? Maybe it was the second.

Anonymomma said...

Shari said...
Anonymomma ~
I'm gonna have to send you to time out now.


------------



No! Red! Spoons!

Old North State said...

Thanks for posting the link to the article about Kate and school lunches! I thoroughly enjoyed reading her ORIGINAL sandwich recipes! But the best part was the comments...all 161 comments! I loved the fans who said the haters should change the channel or if they couldn't say anything nice, just don't say anything!

the duggars ain't all that said...

Maybe Kate was the one who taught the Duggars how to make Tater Tot Casserole and Ice Cream Sandwich Frozen Dessert! Yummy and so good for you!

pinkdiamond611 said...

Organic canned corn. We don't eat corn on the cob because it is too messy.
Open the can
dump into paper bowl. Place in micro for two minutes. Give each kid a tablespoon's worth on a paper plate. Voila.

2badsosad said...

And a little note in their lunch...."Just my way sending love along with them to school."

Kate must write those 'little notes' to put in her children's lunches weeks in advance, as she most certainly isnt the one packing school lunches or seeing those children off to school on any given morning.

ICExploitation said...

special desert Gum

Unwrap piece, put in mouth. Chew. Do not get on clothes - swallow.

Miss Brown Betti said...

Casey and Smudge,

Yummm.....Your recipe does sound delish...Gonna give it a try tomorrow.(Thanks)

mollybloom said...

I'm waiting for Jon to post in Chef Kate's defense, but he's probably in the basement cleaning marker off the wall as punishment for the bar photos.

The Disappearing Grandma Soup stuff is hilarious.

Aunt Chris said...

Sarah said...
Old Grandma Soup!
Those Grandma knees taste pretty yummy after simmering for 2 hours. Yum!


I especially like the minty taste of the Ben Gay after all that simmering!

sassydoxy said...

Come on people--- real cooks don't use recipes--- dontcha know!

mary said...

OMG....i just visited that site (recipe exchange from an expert Kate....) she has a f'n bread man because they go through a loaf a day? Has she ever heard of the supermarket and buying 12 loaves at a time and freezing them (esp when they have a sale?)

Don't even get me started on paper plates. She is the furthest thing from green. Hell she is orange! We eat on plates with napkins every night. NO one uses a sippy cup (my youngest is 4) and why the hell are her kids in a highchair? I haven't used that thing since maybe 2. (i'm sure I got rid of it before then.)ugh

BTW these posts are hysterical. I needed that today!

vaikealukuinen said...

Well, my favorite recipe is pretty complicated:

Ingredients:
some "organic" foodstuffs just for show
paper plates
a table full of food from craft services

step 1: get out paper plates, arrange them in a painfully straight line on the counter.
Step 2: muck about with food and paper plates while talking about how much you love cooking, but how horrendously horrendous and tiring it is to cook for 7 little ingrates + Hannie.
Step 3: serve "food" on paper plates to kids at the table
Step 4: eat some yummy food from craft services and feed the kids from craft services after the cameras are shut off.

Beth said...

ORGANIC peanut butter & fluff
ORGANIC macaroons
ORGANIC lollipops
Popcorn with a surprise (a rare treat)
Lobster (a vacation treat)
Mini M&Ms (a potty training treat)
Cereal To Go…in little drawstring Easter dress bags (an on-the-go treat)
Jon’s Korean Goodness - with hand-sorted onions and melted mochi (a once-a-year treat)
Birthday Cupcakes (a girls only treat)

(All ingredients purchased with coupons, of course.)

Anonymomma said...

She is the furthest thing from green. Hell she is orange!


------------------------------

OMFG this thread is too friggin funny! That is my favoritest quote ever!

flowergirl said...

Heres a recipe Kate needs for her book.
Ol' Crow
1. Catch a crow
2.Clean the crow
3. Cook the crow
4.Serve the crow
5.Learn to enjoy,because soon you'll be eating alot of it
YUM

BostonBean said...

I love this subject!

OK here goes:

Use glass and china -- no throw-away stuff.
Big, drippy meatball subs for everyone.
NO BIBS
After that, everyone gets a double scoop ice cream cone with sprinkles.
Then...wait a minute....oops, I'm posting on the wrong site!

Let me retract that. OK for the G. kids:
triple paper plates
each person gets 6 grains of rice
one organic carrot curl on each plate
free range hamburger (no bun) the size of a quarter on each plate
for dessert, they can each have an M&M

AnnieD said...

The GWOPers are HOT tonight. What a (culinary) treat!

Jennifer A. said...

You all have forgotten Crab with Jon's Blood From Cracking Enought Crab to Feed 11 People, Salmon Made That No One but Jenny the Nanny Would Eat and that chicken (I think) casterole featured in the Hershey's episode with a slice of white bread (was that bread organic Kate?)
Another book I can totally skim at Target and not buy.

phree said...

I have caught my DH doing a Kontastic meal for my kids: Peanut Butter Spoons! Yes, to make this meal you count out a spoon for Daddy and one for each kid, get a big scoop on each then serve. And yes, I may have had a Kateish tone when explaining why this does not count as feeding the kids!

SeriouslySerious said...

Jodi's Gum Balls (not to be confused with Jon's No Balls)

Gum balls
Buy bag of gum balls
Distribute to 6 - 8 small children between the ages of 3 and 7.
Watch with absolute awe the insanity that will ensue when gum relocates outside of the tups mouths.

Pudding Paint*

Prep work:
bathing suits
2 - 3 garden hoses, hooked-up to faucet with water turned on.
Sterilize 6 - 8 unused, newly purchased medium paint brushes
8x10 sterile white paper

1 pkg of instant chocolate pudding
1 pkg of instant vanilla pudding
Make pudding per directions
Place pudding in separate Tupperware containers. Seal - very - very - very tightly. (this is important)
Before you take the pudding outside, take 1 Valium or shot of favorite adult beverage to get you through the next step (If you miss this step, STOP this recipe now and do not proceed to next step. If you don't, the next step will be horrendously horrendous - for the kids...)
Situate 6- 8 children who are wearing bathing suits (this is also very - very - very important) in a pool area around chairs, chaise lounges, and Little Tykes picnic tables.

Hand out paint brushes
Hand out paper to each child
Place 1 dollup of chocolate pudding on each piece of paper all the while saying this mantra, "Isn't Mommy brave for allowing you to do this? You get to make a mess and mommy is okay with it. See, mommy isn't hyperventilating because you are going to make a mess"
Place 1 dollup of vanilla pudding on each piece of paper
Repeat mantra again and again (important because it is about you and not the kids - Helloooo!)
Allow kids to paint with pudding all the while saying the mantra above. This reinforces creativity.

After about 2 - 3 minutes. Take their newly made art (even if they are still working on it) and paint brushes away.
Quickly (around a nano-second) hose children off and completely remove all remanants of pudding from each child.

* this recipe can be made only in the Carolina states or at least 1000 miles from your current home. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!

SeriouslySerious said...

Anonymous Cheryl B said...

Pudding Paint
Sorry Cheryl B...you beat me to it. I didn't see it. Yours was organically funny...and true.

Old School said...

This is about the most entertaining post thus far. So funny and creative.

SeriouslySerious said...

Epilogue of K8's cook book:

The best part of all of MY recipes is...they make poop! (and I love poop)

SeriouslySerious said...

Boston Bean said...

Let me retract that. OK for the G. kids:
triple paper plates
each person gets 6 grains of rice
one organic carrot curl on each plate
free range hamburger (no bun) the size of a quarter on each plate
for dessert, they can each have an M&M

**************

Ummmm...do they have to pee for the M&M or is it a freebie? (no pun intended)

Robyn said...

Love the posts! Just wish I could be a chef like Keight and was capable of strategic placement of crackers on paper plates so they and a cube of cheese with three grape halves appeared to constitute a good solid, energy producing meal for a four year old. BTW, What part of these oh-so-complicated meals would remotely even require a bib? It's dry crumbs Keight. Just pass out the tups individual brushes and dustpans and put the little money-makers back to work.

Also, I consider myself brilliant because I actually use kitchen SCISSORS to cut pizza, herbs, long noodles. . . you name it. I then just pop the scissors in the top of the dishwasher for cleaning. I have taught my 10 year old to do it too. What a charming, touching family tradition to pass on!

Anonymomma said...

Was it just me or during the NC pudding painting episode when Jane turned the hose on the kids, did anyone else want to reach thru their TV and slap him?

Seriously, I reminded me of that scene in Silence of the Lambs but with pudding..."or else one gets the hose again!". Brutal.

Robyn said...

Just read the Pudding Painting post. Perfect!!

I had a "food fight" party for a pack of wild children one summer. Passed out goggles, purchased whipping cream, pudding and various other thoroughly throwable food choices. Set up some general rules and let them take over. It was HILARIOUS! No one could help but laugh and have fun. It was all of the things you are not supposed to be allowed to do. We also threw pies and filled squirt bottles with edible choices. I highly recommend it. OH, and serve margaritas for the grown ups of course, it makes clean up seem not so overwhelming! It was worth it. . .

NCLindsey said...

Aunt Chris said...

I especially like the minty taste of the Ben Gay after all that simmering!

--------------

LOVE IT! LOVE IT! LOVE IT!

That would be what my Old Grandma Soup would taste like (Mom's mom, not Dad's mom). She had rheumatoid arthritis and her house constantly smelled like BenGay.

Thank you for the belly laugh!

ICExploitation said...

Seriously, I reminded me of that scene in Silence of the Lambs but with pudding..."or else one gets the hose again!". Brutal.

"It puts the pudding on."

CK said...

she has a f'n bread man because they go through a loaf a day? Has she ever heard of the supermarket and buying 12 loaves at a time and freezing them

Wait, I thought she makes her very own homemade organic bread for 5 or 10 cents a loaf? ;)

I do think she's full of it if she's claiming to make organic bread for 10c/loaf. Or else those are some tiny tiny loaves. Around here, a dozen non-organic eggs cost $1 on sale (8c per egg), which puts a loaf over 5-cents right off the bat.

rootintootin said...

I swear we do not watch this show... The only way to stop the madness is not to watch it. "all press is good even if it's bad"

Kate just chaps my hide. Uggg

ohbrother said...

I have read the recipes..They are not hers as they are on allrecipes.com and other sites.
Buns using premade biscuits?
Can't wait for this cookbook! I remember that Jerry Seinfeld's wife had a problem "borrowing" recipes..
If you do not know the basic chicken noodle soup recipe buy Campbell's and add veg's...

fedup said...

Here...why buy the book...email me and I will look it up for you...after all they are borrowed!Can I write one next by taking recipes off the internet!

Monkey Munch

9 cups Chex
1 cup chocolate chips
1/2 cup peanut butter
1/4 cup butter
1/4 teaspoon vanilla
1 1/2 cup powdered sugar


Put cereal in large bowl. Melt chocolate chips, peanut butter, and butter on stove or in microwave. Remove from heat or microwave and stir in vanilla. Pour over Chex cereal, put mix into a large plastic bag. Mix in powdered sugar and shake well to coat. Spread mixture evenly on wax paper and allow to cool.

Peanut Butter Play-Doh


Equal parts:
peanut butter
honey
powdered milk
(can be measured out to be anywhere from a 1/2 cup to 2 cups)

Knead all ingredients together until smooth. If needed add in a dash of flour for texture.


Sticky Buns


1/2 cup sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 cup firmly packed brown sugar
3/4 cup butter or margarine, melted
2 cans (16.3 ozs) Pillsbury Grands Homestyle refrigerated buttermilk biscuits(do not make this from scratch..you will be tired!)
1/2 cup chopped walnuts, if desired
1/2 cup raisins, if desired

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly grease 12 cup fluted tube pan. In large plastic food storage bag, mix sugar and cinnamon. Separate dough into 16 biscuits; cut each into quarters. Shake in bag to coat Arrange in pan, adding walnuts and raisins among the biscuit pieces. Mix brown sugar and butter; pour over biscuit pieces. Bake 28 to 32 minutes. Turn upside down onto serving plate; pull apart to serve. Serve warm.


Tomato- Onion Salad


1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
1 1/2 teaspoon balsamic vinegar
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
4 large tomatoes, thinly sliced
1 medium size sweet onion, thinly sliced
1/4 cup chopped fresh basil


Put first 5 ingredients in a large bowl. Arrange tomato and onion slices in rows in a serving dish. Sprinkle with chopped basil, and drizzle evenly with marinade. Cover it and let it stand at room temperature for at least 2 hours.


Korean Beef Bulgogi Recipe


Beef, sliced cross thin
2 tbsp. soy sauce
1 tbsp. sugar
1/4 tsp. black pepper
Onions, chopped in 1" pieces (about 4 nos.)
Garlic, peeled/crushed (about 3 nos.)
1 tsp. ginger root, grated
1 tbsp. dry sherry
1 tbsp. red pepper flakes
1 tbsp. peanut oil
1tbsp. sesame oil
1/2 tbsp. sesame salt
(To make sesame salt combined 1 tbsp. sesame seeds, 1 tbsp. salt)

Mix soy sauce, sugar, sesame oil, sesame salt, pepper, onions, garlic, ginger, dry sherry, and red pepper flakes in a bowl. Add the beef, mix well and marinate for 1/2 hour up to 2 hours. Heat grill or grill pan on the stove to medium high. When hot, apply oil to beef pieces and grill meat until nicely brown on both sides.


Kate's Meatloaf
(makes 10 slices)

2 pounds organic ground beef
2-3 eggs
Finely chopped (I use food processor on pulse) celery, onion, green pepper, carrots- about 3/4-1 cup of each.
About 1½-2 cups of breadcrumbs- Italian seasoned if on hand. Otherwise, plain works too. May need more breadcrumbs depending on the consistency of the meatloaf.
About 3/4 cup shredded or grated Parmesan cheese (whichever's on hand).
About ¼ to ½ cup ketchup.
About 2 teaspoons of Italian seasoning
About 1 teaspoon of garlic salt

Mix all the ingredients together in a large mixing bowl and divide equally into two separate meat loaves. Add a squirt of ketchup to the top of each in a zig-zaggy design. I cover with foil and bake in either a meatloaf pan or a glass bread baking dish at 350 degrees for about an hour (depending on oven) or until bubbly and center is no longer pink.During the last 15 minutes or so, I remove foil covering and finish baking uncovered.When there's leftovers (usually I have about half a loaf left over) I put a slice between wholegrain bread with some mayo and ketchup swirled together (a la French dressing!), and a slice of lettuce and tomato too for a delicious meatloaf sandwich for the next day!Yummy!Recipe courtesy of Kate Gosselin.

Henry's Pancakes
Pancake Recipe: Kate's Measurement X3
1 1/2 cup Flour 4 1/2 cups
2 tsp Baking Powder 6 tsp
3/4 tsp Salt 2 1/4 tsp
2 Tbsp Oil 6 Tbsp
1 1/2 cups Milk (add more if needed) 5 cups
1 Egg 3 Eggs



Mix all the dry ingredients together. (I usually sift mine, it makes the pancake fluffier). Make a well in the middle of the dry ingredients. Set aside. Mix all the wet ingredients together. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry and mix together. Than using a 1/4 cup or 1/3 cup measuring cup pour batter onto a non-stick skillet or griddle. If you want to pour it out that's fine too.



Chicken and Cheese Steaks

1 loaf french bread cut in half and split open
1 tbsp. vegetable oil
1/2 lb. skinless, boneless chicken breast cooked , cut into strips
1 small green OR red pepper cut into 2" strips
1 medium onion , sliced
1 15 oz can of tomato sauce
1 pkg of sliced mozz. cheese

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Meanwhile, heat oil in skillet. Add chicken and cook until browned, stirring often. Remove chicken. Add pepper and onion and cook until tender. Return chicken to skillet and heat through. Spoon chicken mixture on bottom bread half. Then cover with tomato sauce. Finally top each half with mozz. cheese. Place in the oven and bake for about 10 minutes or until cheese is melted. Top with remaining bread half if desired. Cut into quarters.

Makes 4 sandwiches.

PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU KEEP STATING HOW TIRED YOU ARE!

phoneybologny said...

One recipe that most definitely will NOT be featured in Kate's upcoming 'crock book' is, HUMBLE PIE !!

Shari said...

I actually have a serious question (for once.)

I'd like to make the PB play dough for my 2 year old today but don't have powdered milk. Can I use anything else instead?

Thanks!

Serena said...

Shari - If you don't have powdered milk (or you can't use it due to lactose intolerance), here's an alternate recipe:

1/2 cup peanut butter
1/4 cup honey
4-6 oz. corn flour or corn meal

Crystal said...

Knew they couldn't stay away that long...Entertainment Weekly announced that Jon & Kate will be doing a "Going Green" special on April 19th. Gag me with a paper plate! I think the special should be more appropriately titled "Going Orange" thanks to Kate's everlasting tan.

Jimmy said...

Did anyone notice when they were at St. Jude's visiting a young lady who mentioned when her birthday is and Kate said that was her's also. I am thinking it was March 28 or 29th. So she is celebrating her bday on the West Coast? Well she "deserves" it doesn't she? Yah Right!

didew said...

mucysmartermom,
You make your own napkins!? Don't you know there are people who will do that for you?

And if you have your own reality show they'll do it for you for free...

mary said...

Crystal said
Knew they couldn't stay away that long...Entertainment Weekly announced that Jon & Kate will be doing a "Going Green" special on April 19th. Gag me with a paper plate! I think the special should be more appropriately titled "Going Orange" thanks to Kate's everlasting tan.

*********************

OMG! You can NOT be serious? My biggest pet peeve (of about 100) is that she is so far from green!!!! Paper plates, paper napkins, plastic sippy cups!!! I'm pretty green and only use glass plates, and cloth napkins.

This is just too much!

didew said...

Kate's future cookbook:
-craft family traditions...
when has this woman EVER done a craft with her kids? She usually relies on the free kindness of strangers to do that. Unless she means craft as in Craft Services.
-meaningful mealtime blessings...
they don't sit down and eat with their kids let alone pray with them.
-feed a large family on a budget... or how to get it all for free and use the money your children have earned for botox, bad haircuts, and daily visits to the fake and bake.

mommynMO said...

They have craft services, and the best she can find for her kids to eat is cheese, crackers, and grapes? It makes me wonder if craft services is code for wine tasting services.

didew said...

Jon and Kate "Going Green". How can people not see the hypocrisy of these two?! Numerous paper plates, untold plastic cups. She disposes of appliances like they're Kleenex. These Kon artists can do and say whatever they want,never have to take any responsibility for their behavior, AND they get PAID for it. And all the while, their children are suffering.
Sorry to get off topic, but this s**t burns me.

Scruffy's Mom said...

Let's commence the betting ...

what cha bet Flap o' Hair's painting (which was horrible Jane, but nice job sucking up) ends up somewhere ... in one of her books, or online for charity or in the new and improved (gag me) confessional area...

Narcissism Please said...

as if the entire entity isn't an complete farce .. this 'going green' is a complete b.s. mess.

helloo!
wasn't that what the episode with sara snow was about?


so, the week after we're going back to chocolate world, and then we're going to walk in the woods again the week after .. and then we're going back to the old house [to dust out the cobwebs, since it's still on the market], and then we'll revisit disney?

has it really come to having to rehash old episodes .. as if we aren't already subjected to the same ol' blase thing, week after week, already?

one_lovable_cutipie said...

going green: do I smell another product placement maybe from
(green giant)

All the comments on here have to be in a book. A.S.A.P this is the best blog. So funny everyone

Feeding bags lol.. wasnt that the eps they went to the farm? For the organic 1/2 cow. How convenient if it was.

Kate's Beach Party Recipe's

Forth of July at Beths:

1. Hot dogs/ Hamburgers Check on the grill

2. Have your "so called friend pick up the slack making: potato salad cold slaw, salad, etc picnic food. (inform her only the best ingredients matter organically is the best.)

3. Eat and enjoy sitting in your plastic white lawn throne

4. For easy clean up once again use you so called friend and their family for easy clean up.



Next recipe

Forth of July at the Beach house

1. Get freshly ordered Seafood. ( if your unable to do this go to lobstergram)

2. Steam and bake your seafood
sea chicken legs and Salmon

3. Get your fresh vegetables out and steam them. Corn and Broccoli.

4. Cook your fresh organically grown spuds. butter and sprinkly with sea salt.

5. Clean your sea chicken legs. keep bandaids close.

6. Get your fine china paper plates ready.

7. Time to place items on the Plate.
a. a sliver of sea chicken
b. a tiny bush of broccoli
c. a piece of salmon
d. a 1/2 corn on the cob
e. a few spuds
make sure the portions are french cuisine.

So you and your significant other can eat all of the sea chicken..

Desert: CoolWhip Flag Cake made with only the best

organic cake mix eggs butter oil
with cool whip
and organic fresh fruit strawberrys & blueberrys. Picture on page 45 with my hannie eating strawberrys..

Side note ( if its not organic. Lie and say it is. People then will think your eating smart and healthier.)

Tangerine Tanya said...

Phoneybologny,

Humble Pie- To funny!
***********************************

Kate need to put in her cook book to eliminate foreign objects like Jon's hair plug staples,long brown hair and finger nail clippings that may end up in one of her gourmet meals. SHE is so gross and icky!

IAMCanadian said...

I thought my Mom invented the diagonal cut sandwiches! And she sent me notes to school every day when I was a kid... and they didn't say I better be good they said "I LOVE YOU"

arminius said...

1. Walk to Craft Services table.

2. Pick up plate.

3. Dish out food from Craft Services table onto plate. Do not place hands or other body parts into lit Sterno.

4. Pick up plastic wrapped silverware and napkin set from Craft Services table.

5. Pick up canned organic soda from cooler at the end of Craft Services table.

6. Move to seating area. Sit. Eat food from plate, using the plastic silverware (unwrapped) where applicable.

ImFrancie said...

ImFrancie said...
Oh. My. Gawd. Old Grandma Soup. The conspicuous absence of grandparents in the Gosselin universe is starting to make sense to me now...

--------------------------------

Anonymomma said...
I just laughed so hard I woke the baby up, that was AWESOME!

--------------------------------

I'm so sorry about causing you to wake the baby, Anonymomma!

I've been lurking on this blog for a little while now, which I found when I went a-Googling for information on Jon-Boy's Awesomely Awesome Night Out with Co-eds. I had no idea how long this circus had been going on, first locally in PA and now nationally, thanks to The LYING Channel. I sure appreciate finding out that my intensely intense dislike of the Gosselin alternate reality show is shared by many.

My pre-teen daughter started watching this show regularly last year, so I've caught many snippets of episodes. I can only stand the whining, screaming, hitting (and that's just watching Kate!) for just so long before I must leave the room. I did catch Kate yak, yak, yaking about Old Grandma Soup, but I don't recall if she actually made the soup on camera. What was really in those packages defrosting on her countertop? Suspicious? I think so.

Robin said...

So, in the process of "going green", are they selling the new house and moving back to a more reasonably sized home? The resources a place that size uses automatically disqualifies her from EVER being green.

Too bad Al Gore isn't available, because they are two peas in a pod. Right down to the claims of inventing the internet and diagnonal cut sandwiches.

(Btw, my mom used to call that making "butterflies" out of your sandwich. Imagine if she had marketed that back in 1966 when I was born - she'd be a millionaire!)

PAmama said...

I just want the recipe for that Hawaiian fried rice Jon made and the tater tot casserole that the Duggars make. I think Duggar mom actually said the recipe during one episode *gasp* without writing a book about what her kids cook.

Shari said...

Ma Duggar actually has all of her recipes posted on their site ... for FREE!

Addison said...

Lol. These are hilarious! You guys are awesomely awesome!!

Deb said...

So, in the process of "going green", are they selling the new house and moving back to a more reasonably sized home? The resources a place that size uses automatically disqualifies her from EVER being green.

Too bad Al Gore isn't available, because they are two peas in a pod. Right down to the claims of inventing the internet and diagnonal cut sandwiches.

(Btw, my mom used to call that making "butterflies" out of your sandwich. Imagine if she had marketed that back in 1966 when I was born - she'd be a millionaire!)

3/27/2009 10:05 AM
PAmama said...

I just want the recipe for that Hawaiian fried rice Jon made and the tater tot casserole that the Duggars make. I think Duggar mom actually said the recipe during one episode *gasp* without writing a book about what her kids cook.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All the Duggar's recipes are at
http://www.duggarfamily.com/recipes.html


For Hawaiian fried rice, it's really easy, try recipezaar.com!

mollybloom said...

Tacos con cohones to eat with Old Grandma Soup?

DirtyDisher said...

Crap on a stick

Take one piece of white trash
spray paint it orange

Serve with a heaping helping of condescending bull. Out and out fried lies may be served on the side, as necessary.

Moons in Leo said...

This gets better and better. Especially the variations on "Old Grandma".

BTW, has anyone ever called K8 on her assertion that there is organic fluff?

There isn't any such thing. Is she still claiming there is?

PAmama said...

Deb,

Thanks for telling me where I can find those recipes.

PAmama

JJ28 said...

Soup's On said...

Cooking note: Please do not confuse "Old Grandma" with "Daddy's mom"!! Your soup will NOT taste the same!


Omg I burst out laughing when I read this one! All of these recipes are too funny! They're so funny because they're so true to Kate's ways!

Jane in California said...

Scruffy's Mom said...

Let's commence the betting ...

what cha bet Flap o' Hair's painting (which was horrible Jane, but nice job sucking up) ends up somewhere ... in one of her books, or online for charity or in the new and improved (gag me) confessional area...


Oh Lordy be!! I actually spit out cracker crumbs all over my keyboard when I read the words, "Flap o' Hair". Bwahhhaaaaa!!!

As to her "artwork," I have no doubt Kate would love to launch a career as the next Mary Englebriet, with everything from stationary, calendars, mugs, dishware, paper plates, clothing protectors for grade schoolers (no, they're not bibs! they are handy dandy clothing protectors that any 5 to 15-year old would love to tie around their neck), Sip-tastic cups, all adorned with her fabulously fabulous original artwork. In muted tones, made with "organicky" materials, all proceeds to go straight to "I'm so Happy, so Quit Your Crying Productions"

Amy said...

Step 1: Go to Craft Services get the food.
Step 2: Put food on paper plates
Step 3: Put bibs on kids
Step 4: Give kids food
Step 5: Look at camera and say "I'm sooooo exhausted cooking for 8"

Amy said...

Sorry Arminius. I didn't see your post before I also posted about Craft Services.

Double Dog Dare You said...

Tried to post this earlier, so sorry if it's a repeat!


How to Ruin Disney

8 kids with low blood sugar
8 cups of soft serve ice cream
2 spoons
3 Disney princesses, private viewing
8 adorably adorable matching outfits (do not pay for these)

Set temperature to 95 degrees
Give ice cream to kids
Scream "She's ruined!"

Tester's note: How to un-ruin this memory from the happiest place on earth:
Let the kids bathe in it!

Organicmama said...

Concerning the organic "fluff", since Fluff is basically marshmallow creme then she probably used organic marshmallow creme. It does exist.

Also Pizza Hut's Natural pizza is far from what I call organic. Only the sauce is organic. So if that is what the family ordered they need to do their organic homework before trying to teach others how to eat organically. I can't wait to hear what her book will have to say about organics. Maybe she'll borrow ideas from Sara Snow.

Oh and I used to make our bread too. It was organic too but I'm sure if I added it all up each loaf cost more than 10 cents. My organic flour is $7 for a 5lb bag. Considering a loaf needs about 3 cups of flour I think we're over her 10 cents budget. I'm not sure what 3 cups of flour weighs, anyone know?

Oh and I wonder if she makes her own hummus. It's real simple and much better homemade. Love it served with veggies. Have we seen the kids eat raw veggies? That would be a better choice than crackers in my opinion.

arminius said...

Amy-

No worries, the "soooo exhausted" stab really helps round it out. :-)

Soup's On said...

PAmama said: I think Duggar mom actually said the recipe during one episode *gasp* without writing a book about what her kids cook.
********************************************************
Ah, but the recipes ARE in their new book, "20 Duggars and Counting". And yes, their recipes are on the website and all of them are so high in fat and calories! Tater Tot Casserole is a Heart Attack in Pyrex....tater tots (7 grams fat in 3 oz. serving), cream of mushroom soup, cream of chicken soup, evaporated milk, and ground turkey. Granted the ground turkey has less fat than ground beef, but they did not use fat-free cream soups when they demonstrated it on the show. I just couldn't feed this to my family on a regular basis. The Broccoli Casserole is the same way...lots of Velveeta, etc. I love it and fix it once in a blue moon, but it's just not healthy. All of their recipes are like this. I understand that they have a lot of mouths to feed but high-fat casseroles just aren't the smartest thing!

so irritated said...

Moons in Leo said...
Oh Lordy Be! You folks are just too funny.

Everytime someone slices a sandwich diagonally do we have to pay K8 for infringing on her patented invention?


Moons, funny you mention sandwich infringement. When I was cutting the sandwich I made for my lunch today on the diagonal, Kate's grey-haired 'bodyguard' ran into my kitchen and demanded I destroy the sandwich immediately. He then gave me a 2 year old autographed picture of the family for my 'trouble.'

SwingsandRoundabouts said...

Kate's Coffee:

R.T.P.N.L.P.
(read the post-it note, little people)

JustaMommy said...

Just make sure when cooking all ingredients labels are facing camera so sponsors will be happy.

CK said...

Oh and I used to make our bread too. It was organic too but I'm sure if I added it all up each loaf cost more than 10 cents. My organic flour is $7 for a 5lb bag. Considering a loaf needs about 3 cups of flour I think we're over her 10 cents budget. I'm not sure what 3 cups of flour weighs, anyone know?

Google says 3 cups of whole-wheat flour is about 12 oz, so 4 cups = 1 lb. So, at $7 for 5lb/20C, that's approximately 35c per cup, and $1.05 per loaf just for the flour.

Yeah, I think an organic loaf for a dime is a load of fertilizer, unless she's getting all the ingredients free. Not that I'd be too surprised if she was.

JJ28 said...

OMG LOL! The "Korean Dinner" Episode is on right now! I don't really remember this epi and a lot of people were talking about it here.

mcarlsonus said...

Hamburger Helper - and I hear it's even better if one adds hamburger (but until I gets a contrack, I cain't afford no cow meat!)

twins241 said...

I am so exhausssssssteedddd from reading these posts I might have to go get some organic McDonald's and serve it on some nice paper plates.

Melibee said...

I think you guys got the crackers and cheese lunches covered, but I didn't see anyone notice this time-consuming and oh-so-nutritious meal...

I'll try to be very precise with these instructions:

1. arrange paper plates on counter
2. place 4 corn chips in the middle of said paper plate
3. from a store-bought jar of salsa, dribble a teaspoon's worth of salsa over chips.
4. garnish with 5 green grapes, on the side.

carry paper plates through garage and to the driveway where 6 hungry preschoolers are waiting at plastic picnic tables for their "meal". Serve and then sit in plastic chair exclaiming how exhausting it is to prepare lunch for SIX KIDS.

Kath in MI said...

The Korean Dinner episode is a Kate classic.

Jon had to do special shopping, tons of prep, hours of cooking, everyone was soooo excited...then right in the middle of it all she yells at him to get out of her kitchen so she can make lunch!

Its A Good Thing said...

I hope it tells us how to find an all organic, free, personal chef. If it did I may actually consider buying the book.

Why said...

SwingsandRoundabouts

Sooo funny

anti kate said...

This is a rather long and exhausting recipe I dreamt up for those days when you just don't know what to make for lunch. It's very worthwhile though and your kids will adore you!

8 eggs.
8 crackers
8 small containers organically organic yogurt
8 juicy juices
8 grapes

Directions:Take 8 egss from Stainless Steel Doubledoor Stainless Steel Refrigerator.
Put water and eggs in pan, place on Stainless Steel oversize stove, turn on the heat.
Leave children in kitchen to watch eggs boil rapidly while you go and sort clothes
Place clothes in Stainless Steel Frontload Whirlpool Washer #1 (this serves double-duty as by the time the clothes have gone through the wash cycle, you can run back and turn the heat off the 8 eggs)
Return to laundry room to place load in Stainless Steel Frontload Whirlpool Dryer #1
Sort another load and place in Stainless Steel Frontload Whirlpool Washer # 2
Tell camera crew how exhausting this is
Hint to Home Depot that you would like a deck built on laundry room.
Go back to kitchen
Take eggs off stove, run cold water on them
Return to laundry room to sort clothes, load in Stainless Steel Frontload Whirlpool Washer #1 Stainless Steel Frontload Whirlpool Washer timer has sounded so
Transfer load from Stainless Steel Frontload Whirlpool Washer #2 into Stainless Steel Frontload Dryer # 1
Oh yeah, go back to kitchen and drain eggs.
Return to laundry room and stare at two sets of Stainless Steel Frontload Washers and Dryers (to ensure they are doing the job right)
Bitch about how exhausting this is in case they didn't hear you the first time
Return to kitchen, slap down 8 paper plates
Run back to laundry room to check on Stainless Steel Frontload Whirlpool Washers and Dryers to see how much time is left in the Stainless Steel Frontoad Whirlpool Washer #1
Return to kitchen to (now this is very important) place on each plate
1 hard-boiled egg (make the kids peel them, they need to learn how exhausting this is)
1 cracker
1 grape
Heed digital timer in laundry room. Stop what you're doing and remove clothes from Stainless Steel Frontload Whirlpool Dryer #2
Fold load # 2
Return to kitchen
Beside each paper plate place
1 container organically organic yogurt
Heed second digital timer in laundry room. Stop what you're doing and run, don't walk to remove clothes from Stainless Steel Frontload Whirlpool Washer #1
Fold laundry
Return to kitchen
Place 1 Juicy juice beside each plate
Place bibs on kids (as this can be a very big messy mess) and return to laundry room whilst children enjoy their healthy lunch.

Fay said...

Scream Ice Cream take one gosselin tup, give ice cream, let them get it all over their designer duds,then take it away.There you have SCREAM Ice Cream, earplugs optional,but recomended.

Moons in Leo said...

so irritated, I'm so happy you and the body guard came to a peaceful settlement of the infringement.

BTW, I have some 'fluff' news.

There is a vegan version of fluff called Ricemellow. Fluff contains corn syrup, sugar syrup, egg whites and vanilla flavor.

Corn and sugar syrups don't sound organic to me.

Anonymomma said...

mcarlsonus said...
Hamburger Helper - and I hear it's even better if one adds hamburger (but until I gets a contrack, I cain't afford no cow meat!)
-----------

cant stop laughing!

chesterctymom said...

Blogger Crystal said...

Milk, Lucky Charms --Print it!


Well, they are magically delicious!

Meredith said...

Old Grandma Soup is PEOPLE! It's People!!!!!

Organicmama said...

BTW, I have some 'fluff' news.

There is a vegan version of fluff called Ricemellow. Fluff contains corn syrup, sugar syrup, egg whites and vanilla flavor.

Corn and sugar syrups don't sound organic to me.


The organic "fluff" is called Toonie Moonie and the ingredients are: Organic Tapioca Syrup, Organic Cane Sugar, Natural Spring Water, Organic Dried Egg Whites, Organic Vanilla Extract

timetogokon said...

The Korean Dinner episode is a Kate classic.

Jon had to do special shopping, tons of prep, hours of cooking, everyone was soooo excited...then right in the middle of it all she yells at him to get out of her kitchen so she can make lunch!

---------------------------

This episode , IMO, showcased just how ignorant Jane and esp Keight are.

*** Jon's "Korean" dinner was actually a mish-mash of Korean, Japanese, Chinese and Hawaiian.

- bulgogi : Korean marinated beef
- fried rice : Chinese with Hawaiian influences (pineapple)
- Mochi : Japanese ice cream dessert

*** the only people I know that wear chopsticks in their hair are the servers at some Asian restaurants. Stupid Keight has a thing for stupid hairstyles.

*** she steeples her hands and says "Ah so" to Jane. Me thinks Keight is an idiot.

*** she says Jon's grandma's recipe is an "ancient Chinese secret". Um, no Keight, wrong country.

pulldozer said...

Kate also stopped him from saying what was in the recipe...probably so she could put it in a cookbook and charge for it.

yeaisaidthat said...

"Oh and I used to make our bread too. It was organic too but I'm sure if I added it all up each loaf cost more than 10 cents. My organic flour is $7 for a 5lb bag. Considering a loaf needs about 3 cups of flour I think we're over her 10 cents budget. I'm not sure what 3 cups of flour weighs, anyone know?"

The cost of organic flour is merely one ingrediant used in making organic bread. Add the cost of organic eggs,organic milk seeds/nuts,fruits/ dried fruits, grains (oats), sweetener alternatives ie rice syrup and cost per loaf well exceeds Kate's cost of 10 cents a loaf.
Obviously, Kate has NEVER actually calculated the cost of preparing 'organic' bread as her estimation of it costing 10 cents a loaf is absolutely ridiculous. Kate thinks that throwing around the word 'organic' will some how make others view her as knowledgable or well versed on the concept of nutrition but quite frankly it makes her come across as extremely pretentious and down right ignorant!!!!!

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