Dear Jon and Kate

I was really looking forward to recapping this newest episode. I figured that an episode with just Jon and the kids in the woods would be a nice change of pace and pleasant to watch. Sadly, this couldn’t be farther from the truth.

I sat down and wrote the first recap I posted here. And then this came to me... continue

68 comments:

fostersmom said...

Dear Jon and Kate,

Every week I sit and watch yet another episode of you and your family. And I don’t like what I see any more. I haven’t for a while now. You used to be a nice family with cute kids and the everyday issues that came with that. But not anymore. Tonight’s episode highlighted just how far you’ve come and it’s not pretty. Not pretty at all.

You have a new, beautiful house. Too bad it’s an empty shell and not a home. There’s none of the homey touches that make a house a home, unless you count the piles of cardboard boxes everywhere. I bet your kids would love their mom to stay home for a bit and be with them and maybe unpack some of their belongings. Moving can be confusing for kids, but familiar belongings could make it less so. New houses can be scary, even more scary when you’ve threatened the kids about going to their parents room or there’s dark piles of boxes lurking in the corners at night. Where are all those family pictures that you had taken? Or the little clay things the girls all made?

I was excited to see Jon and the kids in the woods. I have so many great memories of going to local forests with my mom and my sister as a child. We would stop and pick up leaves, skip rocks in the many rivers, and collect acorns. The only tears that ever ensued were when I once fell in a HUGE mud slick and I was covered head to toe in thick mud. Your kids were crying before they even got out of the house. Some didn’t want to go in the woods, but there’s filming to be done and the kids must suck it up and get to walking. This could have been a pleasant experience for the kids that wanted to go if only those kids went, but instead no one had fun.

The kids all had sticks and I remember back to walking in the woods with my half sister who is 12 years younger than me. She was maybe 4 or 5 at the time. She had a walking stick in hand, one that she picked up and said “I found a good walking stick, I said.” We were walking around the woods that our dad lived in. She led the way and I just followed to keep her safe. There was no crying, no yelling, no tearing things away from her, and no making her feel bad about making too much noise in the woods. We stopped and poked at stuff, she collected some kind of bug shells, we looked at trees, and checked how deep puddles were with sticks. By the time we finally got back to the house I had a huge amount of dead bug skin in my hands. They were disgusting and made me want to scrub my hands raw, but we sat and counted how many she had. And you know what, even though they grossed me out, I wouldn’t have thrown them over a fence or taken them away from her for anything.

You keep telling us that you do this show to keep the memories. But what kind of memories are you making? Do you think about what your kids see when they watch these DVDs now or what they will see in the future? What their friends see? Because I do. I hear parents mocking their kids, telling the world their shortcomings, and letting everyone know the ways that the kids fail to live up to some kind of invisible standard. I see parents making faces when talking about their kids. And I see parents who seemingly grow more and more apart every single episode on that interview couch. These are the kinds of memories that most parents want to minimize, certainly not record and sell as entertainment for strangers.

Kate, you never miss an opportunity to criticize your husband and cut him down. You mock his words, correct him for inane reasons, and act like he continues to disappoint you at every given turn. Is that what you want your kids to remember about this show? About their childhoods? You lost interest in these interviews months ago. You can’t even manage to muster a little enthusiasm when talking about your own children. You prove yourself to be uninvolved in their day to day lives. Why do you not know what’s going on in their little lives? Even if you aren’t there, why aren’t you asking? Do you think that 10 years from now, when your kids watch these DVDs, that they won’t notice this? Because they will. They probably do now.

Jon, you try for the most part, but it seems you are losing the battle. Speak up, man up, and put your foot down. You are not a child. Don’t let your wife treat you like one. Maybe if you did this, you would have more patience with your kids. Ripping things out of their hands, screaming at them, mocking them and their feelings, and putting them down, well it’s all just so ugly. How do you feel when you see your child cringe when you come near her? It’s not the first child we have seen do this. That can’t feel good. You can change that if you try. They are only children. They aren’t perfect. They make mistakes. But if you take a second to think and calmly react, you can teach them the right way and help them learn from their mistakes.

You both allow your kids to be shown at some of their most intimate or embarrassing moments or when they are not at their best. Why? Because it makes good ratings? I would hope that your children would be allowed dignity and privacy. These are your kids, not made up characters. As all kids do, these kids all have good and not so good moments or days. One child’s not so good moments shouldn’t be highlighted time and time again. And we certainly don’t need to hear a constant list of their not so good moments or traits. It’s heartbreaking to see two parents take such glee in listing the not quite perfect moments of all of their kids on a weekly basis. I don’t think it would be so hard to say some positive things about 8 beautiful and vibrant children. I can list wonderful things about them all. You could too if you wanted to.

I saw a very nice family lunch tonight. The kids all munched and Jon joked with them. I saw kids playing in the yard and with walkie talkies. Their little faces shined with joy. So I know that nice and pleasant hours in your lives are possible. I wish we could see more of that kind of stuff. Sure, it’s not thrilling and no sponsors are getting free publicity, but it’s normal everyday life stuff. You know, the kinds of things you first showed us 3 years ago. The stuff we liked to watch. Back when every episode wasn’t revolving around some kind of event or visit to a special place. Back when watching your show didn’t leave me feeling quite so sad for your children and for what your family has become.

Sincerely,

Fostersmom

overit said...

Well said, ITA with the obvious change that has occured. When this show started I did like it because I have a large family, but now it makes me sick to listen to how she talks to him and the way they treat those babies.

I do watch though hoping that this will be the week its different, back to the way it started out. I cannot relate to these two people anymore.

I wish they would at least ACT like they are truly thankful for things they are given, instead of its owed to them. Enough with the freebies!! Give back to the community that helped them in the tough years!

No More Exploitation said...

Amen! Well said. Brought tears to my eyes.

Thank you Fostersmom.

ThreeFarmers said...

I wish they would quit exploiting their children. I don't want to see ANY happy hours and shiny, happy faces.

I want some assurance that the many dollars those children have earned are stashed away so they have a chance at a future.

I don't care how cute the show was or how horrible it is now as the exploitation is equal.

Jon's and Kate's level of gratefulness is irrelevant as the level of exploitation is all the same.

With each episode Jon and Kate lose another opportunity to grant their children the gift of privacy--the ability to move about without bodyguards or cameras or fans. The clock cannot be turned back.

Monica A said...

This should be sent to Dr. Phil. You did an amazing job putting into words what so many of us feel. And the sad part is that not one thing you wrote was exaggerated.

I agree that they need to GENUINELY start giving back for what they have been blessed with and I don't mean with copies of their book either. I was waiting for her to step up on Dr. Phil and offer help or at least used clothing to octo mom.

Pam said...

fostersmom-

Don't place all the blame on J&K. I believe TLC is the one doing the editing and the overall tone of the show is very much directed by that. They are the ones editing IN all the whining and negativity. Who knows what positive things they are not including? I really have to wonder how much of the editing changes and tone changes are a direct result of TLC's awareness of the criticism the family is getting and they are playing right into it to keep it going.

I'm not making excuses for J&K because I do think their personal "tones" have changed dramatically since the beginning. It's very sad. But I really think TLC is doing it too.

As for the "empty shell" of a house, let's give 'em a break. They just got there (in these episodes). It takes time to get things in their place when you move. You expect the house to look all perfectly arranged and lived in right away??

MsPeabody said...

Pam said...
fostersmom-

Don't place all the blame on J&K. I believe TLC is the one doing the editing and the overall tone of the show is very much directed by that. They are the ones editing IN all the whining and negativity. Who knows what positive things they are not including? I really have to wonder how much of the editing changes and tone changes are a direct result of TLC's awareness of the criticism the family is getting and they are playing right into it to keep it going.

I'm not making excuses for J&K because I do think their personal "tones" have changed dramatically since the beginning. It's very sad. But I really think TLC is doing it too.

As for the "empty shell" of a house, let's give 'em a break. They just got there (in these episodes). It takes time to get things in their place when you move. You expect the house to look all perfectly arranged and lived in right away??


Pam, I am sure not one show is aired w/out the permission of Jon and Kate so the ultimate blame lies with them, they are the ones accountable and responsible for their family. They have sold themselves out in exchange for money, more and more things, etc. if indeed they allow TLC to air them in such a bad way. But what I believe is they are all miserable and it shows in their faces and in their actions towards each other and it's captured on t.v. for all to see, including the kids. It is a sad situation for the kids, I feel for them.

fostermom, you wrote a beautiful letter to Jon and Kate. My hope would be that they stop this madness and start rectifying the damage done to their children. The first step in any recovery is admitting responsibilty. Some damage may not be undone but kids are pretty forgiving and long for love and happiness over material things so with hard work, things can be changed if Jon and Kate will put the kids first and begin to do what is best for them. No amount of money is worth the unhappiness shown in those faces! What will a man give in exchange for his soul?

luvbingamom said...

So very true & very sad.

Mary said...

yes I do expect the house to be "unpacked" everything put away and in order...beds off floors and made with clean sheets. IF J & K would stay home..this would be done. A HOUSE is not a HOME if No one's there...think about that

Dunwoody Mom said...

Don't place all the blame on J&K. I believe TLC is the one doing the editing and the overall tone of the show is very much directed by that. They are the ones editing IN all the whining and negativity.

Sheeple, stop, just stop. J&K get ALL the blame here. TLC could do nothing without J&K allowing Figure 8 to film their everyday lives. You cannot "edit in" whining and negativity. It is there it is real.

Erica said...

I wish we could nominate this for the Pulitzer Prize for Journalism. Spot on and beautifully expressed, Fostersmom.

Littlelauraj said...

So often here I see posters trying to blame what we see on TLC's editing, that they are making everything with J&K look worse. I think it's the opposite-they are doing the best they can with the raw materials. This is the best they can make J&K look. Sure, there seems to be some manufactured drama, like with the dirty fridge, but for the most part it seems that they are showing the best that they can. Which makes all of this even more sad.

Di said...

RIGHT ON - Seems to me I read somewhere that Jon and Kate have final approval of the shows prior to airing. Now, that being said, either they are totally deaf, dumb and blind or they just don't give a hoot about how they appear...or maybe all of the above! They are so pathetic!

Its A Good Thing said...

Great letter fostersmom, and for the commenter who said we can't blame only J&K well I think you are wrong. There is nothing keeping J&K on TLC they can stop any time they want. You just say NO and don't open the doors to the camera crew.

So I think J&K deserve ALL the blame.

NDmom said...

Thank you, fostersmom! That was a beautiful letter...it brought tears to my eyes. Those children are so beautuful and sweet. They should be nurtured and have examples set for them of kindness, patience, love, and understanding.

My dream would be that Jon & Kate would actually see this letter. As a parent, if someone wrote these words to me, I know it would snap me out of any poor parenting and greed that I might have adopted.

Thanks!

Dominique said...

You know - KON some day your kids are going to grow and be approached by someone eager to publish the "real" story behind the Gosselins. It is easier to repair a child then an adult - trust me I worked therapuetically with enough adults to know the resentment, humiliation and insecurity will have negative outcomes. And in an under or over developed ego, one child my feel compelled to "get even". You two need to really wise up and I agree - people stop making excuses for these two. They LIVED off of the taxes of PA residents in the beginning and are now in a million dollar home. How is this not assimilated? So PLS put down the kool-aid - it's not good for you anyway; it can rotten your teeth and mind.

cheryl said...

Wonderful - hopefully the g's will read and try to comprehend.
Kids would definitely prefer making cookies as to the constant
up heaval they appear to experience. Thanks again.

Amy said...

Don't place all the blame on J&K. I believe TLC is the one doing the editing and the overall tone of the show is very much directed by that.
*****************************

TLC is editing sure. But J&K signed the contract exposing themselves and their children. Other than have defenseless children involved, this is no different than any other reality show. And, IMO, J&K have no leg to stand on now whinning about how they are edited/portrayed.

MayDay said...

I think that J + K like how TLC
edits because it looks like their job is so hard all the time...kids fighting, kids crying, doing laundry, cleaning house, cooking, business trips...it gives the impression it is too much to handle...too much for everyone in the entire world except J+K because they are special and can handle it.

FXfanatic said...

GREAT LETTER!
I think we should ALL sign it and send it to Kate and TLC. A show that I used to enjoy has turned into a circus that I can't help but criticize. Over on another site I've been called awful names just because I don't agree with J&K. I'm really not mean. I never talk about the kids negatively and I never call Kate "evil." So, even though I try to be "civilized" I'm still told that I'm a jealous hater who has no life. Oh, I'm a harpy now too.
Who know caring about children would bring out so much hate in people. It really baffles me.

lifeoriley said...

Great post. It touches on so many things that I, too, have thought.
I have to agree with 3F, however, and say that I do not want to see anymore--happy kids or not. Yes, I wish for the kids to be happy--privately, without cameras. However, I doubt that will happen soon, as they signed on for yet another season.
As for editing, yes, it can skew the episode, but the behavior that the kids and J &K display are real.
Also, no one has a gun to their head forcing them to do a TV show. They could've opted out after this season (or before). But they didn't. That has to tell even the most faithful viewer something--that J&K don't mind or don't care how their family is being portrayed/viewed on nation TV. Maybe they don't even see anything wrong with their behavior (J&K). So what does it ultimately come down to? Money? Fame? Attention? I vote all of the above.

Sidney said...

Di said...
RIGHT ON - Seems to me I read somewhere that Jon and Kate have final approval of the shows prior to airing. Now, that being said, either they are totally deaf, dumb and blind or they just don't give a hoot about how they appear...or maybe all of the above! They are so pathetic!
-------------------------

J&K have said they will do anything for their children. Anything -- even including looking like such a witch of a mother and a milk-toast of a father.

Actually, we all know they will do anything for the money. They all know it is the parents pathetic personalities that keep drawing us in. The Kate we love to hate. The Jon we would like to knock some sense into.

J&K even play it up, they know they look bad. They don't care. Anything for the money.

ROFL said...

fostersmom....


you expressed beautifully how i felt after watching last weeks epi. they should have titled the episode 'empty' because not only was their house empty but it left the viewers feeling numb......empty.
Thank you.

showlove said...

I'll be honest, I used to think this blog was overreacting about Jon and Kate. I thought that the way they treated their kids wasn't always the greatest, but was probably pretty close to what we'd see behind closed doors in most homes. After watching this weeks episode my opinion has totally changed.

I was actually disturbed watching this episode. Jon was so harsh with the kids in the woods that it made me very upset and I could barely watch. It broke my heart to see him not only tear the sticks away from the kids, but then break them too! We all know that Kate has some serious faults, but I've actually seen Jon treat the children with much more contempt and impatience than she does. Jon is overly harsh with them and brings them to tears at many occasions.

Between the way Jon treated the children and the way Kate treated Jon on the couch I don't see how they could watch this episode and not come to the conclusion that something has gone horribly wrong.

madhatt3r said...

Great Re-Cap

Kate to Jon: "Oh gosh! I would hate to steal your spotlight!" Stupid sarcastic b*tch. You wuldn't hate to steal his spotlight anymore than you hate stealing your kid's money.

marrypoppins said...

The only good part was Collin trying to haul in the whole forrest, loved how he had all the sticks and the one random leaf.

ItsAllGravy said...

He did a pretty decent job of putting her in her place, though, so props to Jon on that. Oh, and just in case either Jon or Kate read this...when you move out of a 1800 square foot house and into a 6,000,000,000 square foot house, you will need to BUY SOME FREAKIN' FURNITURE!! Don't whine about living out of boxes when there are people out here living IN boxes! Sheesh! Begging for stuff never sounded so weak. Where were Mady and Cara, anyway? Did they finally send them to boarding school? I understand that they are now the producers of this show. lolz.

Anonygrandmother said...

Fostermom: Your writing is so well put and accurate that Jon and Kate should be forced to read this. I'm sure they won't though since Kate has said she "only reads comments from people who agree with her."

This past show was so sad that I just don't think I can watch anymore. As much as I love those children, lately more and more this show brings up emotional issues for me. I am in my 60's and I still have flashbacks to the verbal and emotional abuse I received as a child and so much of what I see on that show reminds me of what I went through and have had to get over my entire life. The ugly faces she makes, the way they make fun of certain children, the way they mimick Joel, and the negative comments such as, "walk like a man or she's mean," will someday be an issue for these children. That's not a maybe, it's a definite.

Actually, watching the dynamics between the two of them has just plain become uncomfortable.

As far as I'm concerned, this show could not sink any lower. Well, I suppose it could but I certainly could not watch that! And yes, the fault most definitely lies 100% with Jon and Kate. TLC should be ashamed of themselves, but the fault lies with the Gosselins. The children are their responsibilities and it is their job to protect them.

So I want to thank you, fostermom, for putting it all in such a loving,kind, and truthful manner. Good job.

Pink said...

fostersmom - thank you.

I watched the branch-breaking walk in the woods thing - was kind of... violent looking. I can understand a kid being terrified at seeing someone 4 times their size siezing a branch and angrily breaking it across his knee. Something that's horrifying to a kid is seeing the person who's supposed to be responsible for their safety seeming to lose control and acting violently.

Sorry, but when I finally looked at it I thought "That Jon guy is criminally insensitive and I don't blame the kid for shivering in her boots." The guy's a creep.

Lookie Lu - 1st time poster said...

Brilliant fostersmom!!!!

Jon was a real jerk during most of this episode. I had to wander when I was watching it if he was forced to continue on with that walk in the woods because it was the show concept and had to be completed, and that made him more stressed out and grouchy. If it were me and almost every child was miserable about it I would have put it off for another day. IRL without a camera crew present this outing wouldn't be something that must be done right then and there, especially with the tups not in school and Jon not working. It's an example of the show being a detriment to their family life.

This show is the one that should be shown to the authorities .... It was the reason we have been screaming 'exploitation'. Those kids were forced in the walk so the producers could get the footage for the show. Kids were miserable and yet the show must go on!

jonandkatewho? said...

I think, sadly for the children, that it's too late. Kate and Jon have become too addicted to the money and the fame they brought about by letting in the camera crew.

The show now has a dark tone to it that it did not have before the move. It was bad, yes, but I sense something others on this blog have mentioned which I hesitate to name, but can only describe as a darkness, an empty feeling. It's not pleasant and it makes me feel guilty to even watch anymore. I just feel like it's gone too far and there is no turning back.

These children are indeed lovable, all children are to some degree. But they aren't necessarily all endearing all the time. That's because we have been allowed to see things we shouldn't be seeing. The hitting, the crying, the screaming. You cannot blame the little children for this, but the parents are certainly to blame. I know kids cry, but these kids have never ever had a "normal" existence and I am not sure they ever can now.

I loved the letter you wrote too. I wish you would send it off to Oprah, Dr. Phil, anybody like that you can think of who might actually decide to take on Kate and her greed. I'm not sure they will, but at least they would then know that there are many of us who don't worship Kate or think these two are wonderful parents. They aren't parenting at all, it appears they are only barely tolerating the kids and each other. That's not what I call parenting.

Those poor babies. I really hope that they grow up to lead healthy, normal and happy lives.

BorisDoris said...

The kids are probably sick of the cameras. I guess Mady and Cara have finally reached an age where they can put their foots down and say "no more".

Jon and Kate have to keep up with it [$$$]. They have to realize the popularity is temporary, so they're taking advantage of it. They are probably thinking that now that Cara and Mady have refused to be filmed so much what will they do once the tup's start refusing?

Vanilla Latte said...

Thank you for this lovely letter. It states so clearly how I feel.

I agree with 3 F's and LifeO.-I want the show to cease, now. Imo, the public has no right to know these kids and their idiosyncrasies-they each have a right to anonymity, that their parents have violated.

It bothers me that J/K have used the show as a vehicle for dragging the kids down instead of building them up.

The entire original premise of the show has been mutilated by these parents. Stay at home parents, gone. Making memories, do negative memories count?

Well, they have preserved it all on dvds-I shudder to think of the future repercussions for all 8.

SuzanneDeAZ said...

I think they are thankful for what they have as Kate is always speaking of how thankful she is.

jonandkatewho? said...

Just a thought I forgot to add.

I don't think these two parents "get it". You know how when you want something so badly that you will make excuses to justify it? I think we have all been there and certainly all had our own personal struggles with temptation. Well, Jon and Kate aren't the brightest two bulbs in the box, we all know that.

My point is that I think the money has gone to their heads so much that they are in total denial and really have convinced themselves that there is nothing wrong with the things they have done to achieve their wealth and "fame".

As long as they have that brain block going on and enjoy what the wealth brings them, they will never get it. I think maturity will come to them too late, and the kids may well hate them by then. I am not hoping this, as hating a parent must cause endless pain for a child, but I can't help but think those kids won't appreciate the big house when they are faced with what it cost them.

It's costing them their childhoods. And the parents just don't realize it, because they have convinced themselves there isn't anything wrong with their actions.

I guess money can make you justify anything?

Jane said...

Vanilla Latte - Exactly! The world should not know these kids' idiosyncrasies, fears, etc. The other day I was perusing various blogs/websites out of boredom (hubby's in med school so I have a lot of time alone) and came across a psychotic blog where the author compared herself to one of the sextuplets. Apparently they both have a fear of dentists and in her entry she went so far as to say that she needed her blanket, too. I haven't seen a dentist episode but I'm assuming a blanket is what got the child to calm down. It was, by far, the creepiest thing I've ever read. People are so obsessed with these kids that they pride themselves on similarities they have in common with TODDLERS.

Melissa P. Gentry said...

the public has no right to know these kids and their idiosyncrasies-they each have a right to anonymity, that their parents have violated.

============
Exactly. We have no right to know what is going on with these children. None whatsoever BUT because they are on national television and their parents have chosen to exploit them, we are in an uproar. I will defend those little ones to the ends of the earth but I refuse to watch the show or contribute to their "fame."

Charlie Rose said...

Don't whine about living out of boxes when there are people out here living IN boxes!

==================

They would never grasp an understanding of going without or struggling. Even with their pathetic lies of how they struggled, they will never know what it is like to truly struggle.

ThreeFarmers said...

I think they are thankful for what they have as Kate is always speaking of how thankful she is.


Constantly talking about how thankful one is is fine as long as one's actions back it up. When someone acts in a selfish and entitled way, it makes statements to the contrary little more then lip service.

It's like love. Love is a verb -- it manifests itself through actions. So when someone says they "love you", but then doesn't treat you in a loving way, they don't really love you.

Kate can sometimes talk a good game. Unfortunately for her, she broadcasts just how un-thankful she is every week on TLC.

yourtimeisup said...

"Don't whine about living out of boxes when there are people out here living IN boxes!"

I agree. Now is NOT the time for J & K to be flaunting their 'shit'!

Somewhereinoh said...

"I think they are thankful for what they have as Kate is always speaking of how thankful she is."

If I were convinced that what comes out of Kate's mouth to be the actual truth, I might believe what she says. However, the proven narcassist that she is, her words are nothing more than self serving and self justifying to satisfy her
voracious ego.

concerned wife and mommy said...

The one thing I cannot fault Jon for is that he made all the kids go on the walk. With that many kids, you can't leave some behind. Yes, I know there are nannies, but not as far as the show is concerned. That being said, there are so many ways he could have made it something the kids were not dreading. Talking about it in the morning with some enthusiasm, for one. Going slower at the kids' pace, even if it meant covering less territory. Providing gloves and hats... Or maybe just not being grumpy!

Janice said...

Don't whine about living out of boxes when there are people out here living IN boxes!

==================

They would never grasp an understanding of going without or struggling. Even with their pathetic lies of how they struggled, they will never know what it is like to truly struggle.

-----
I think they are so oblivious to what's going on in the real world.
They seem to have the 'let them eat cake' attitude. Unless your a boy child, then you can't even have that.

big_smartmouth said...

concerned wife and mommy-

do you really think the walk was jons idea? hell no! it was the producers idea, telling jon they needed him to do an activity for the show. it was the producers that made all the kids go. these "heart-felt activities" are just rating boosters, just like them giving plates of cookies to their friends and families at Christmas time. just like their "charity garage sale". it's all for the show. i don't think j&k have wanted to do anything warm and heart-felt for their kids in years.

Exhausted said...

The whole notion that editing is responsible for their looking bad is ludicrous. Maybe if a camera crew filmed my family for an entire year to make ONE episode, they could edit together a series of five or six events that made me look grouchy or impatient. But these production people with J&K are able to find a wealth of dreadful events in their shrewd, so-called editing WEEK AFTER WEEK that confirm that J&K are horrible.

And I'm guessing that we have no idea what's left on the cutting room floor. (No, sheeple, it's not Kate playing Barbies with Mady for hours or singing lullabies to Joel and Alexis.)

I also guarantee you that any amount of editing would not give you clips of our making our child cringe or of our ridiculing our children. They are pathetic, and that's beyond editing.

Exhausted said...

I also agree about the house not feeling warm or comfortable because of all the boxes. When we moved into our new house, it felt so sterile, which made us homesick for our old place. Because we didn't want our kids to feel out of sorts, we stayed up late night after night to hang pictures and put things away so that it would feel like a home and the kids would have all their stuff. That is what parents do for their kids--they put their happiness at the forefront. It is absurd that Kate would schedule so much travel during a big move to a new house, especially when she has a good deal of freedom over her schedule.

Another point...
I also wonder, is there any other show in the world (reality or not) that would tolerate such insolence and halfhearted behavior from one of its "stars"? (And God I hate using the word star to refer to Kate.) Imagine if Simon Cowell said he would now be giving just a quick general comment about all performances at the end of the show instead of being on the panel or if Mariska Hargitay just put on her slippers and sat on the couch. It's absurd. I can't believe there's not some kind of must-perform clause in her contract...though I suspect that after season 2 or so, Jon and Kate got a prima-donna contract that allowed for complete whimsy on their part. Kate probably thinks they are lucky that her glazed eyes are open. I cannot wait until Baby Jane's spotlight is jerked away and no one wants to put up with her nightmarish behavior. That's an episode I'd DVR.

machinegunsmom said...

Pam said...
As for the "empty shell" of a house, let's give 'em a break. They just got there (in these episodes). It takes time to get things in their place when you move. You expect the house to look all perfectly arranged and lived in right away??
_____________________________

Why not? Mine did. Granted I only have one child but he is much younger and much less helpful than the tups could be, and I don't have nannies at my disposal. Oh but he does have grandparents...

Instead of JUST standing at the door "telling men what to do," I was swiftly unpacking boxes as quickly as my husband and his dad could bring them in. Mady and Cara could unpack their personal belongings, the tups could unpack toys...Kate could have taken a break from barking out orders and made herself useful. Supposedly their packing was hyper-organized and everything was clearly labeled, shouldn't have been too difficult.

They did not just move in. They admitted to staging the interview area in their new house and have been filming there and living there a lot longer than what we've been seeing. We're on TLC time, not real KON time.

While I admit that not unpacking their boxes is the least of Jon and Kate's worries, fostersmom has a real point about how hard moves can be on kids and how scary and uninviting this already strange place probably is to a bunch of 4 (and even the 8-)-year-olds. Add this on top of all of the new separations...and the threats to stay out of their parents' room, even if they get scared.

machinegunsmom said...

Exhausted said...
And I'm guessing that we have no idea what's left on the cutting room floor. (No, sheeple, it's not Kate playing Barbies with Mady for hours or singing lullabies to Joel and Alexis.)
______________________________
That makes me so sad. I would play Barbies with Mady in a heartbeat. I have a boy and while I don't think he's "yucky," I grew up in a house of girls and really miss dollhouses and American Girl and Barbies and Polly Pocket and dress-up...Kate does NOT know what she's missing. Or she just doesn't care.

avey said...

Hmm.. this episode was probably shot shortly after they moved, though. Usually after I move it takes me weeks to get all my belongings out of boxes.

I kind of think its hypocritical for people to want the show to shut down, sign petitions, write on forums - but then in the end they still watch the show, meaning they contribute to the ratings, the popularity.

If you want the show to stop, stop watching it, once the numbers start going down the plug will get pulled, but thats the only way its going to happen.

linds said...

I don't think the kids didn't want to go because of the camera crew, I think a few of them wanted to go but a few of them just wanted to be indoors.

I think it's kind of silly to blame every single minor problem on the show / camera crews, while suggesting your own 'perfect' advice about how things could be done 'better'.

I do agree though that Kate should stop mocking Jon, not only on camera but it can't be good for his self esteem.

MsPeabody said...

Exhausted said...
I also agree about the house not feeling warm or comfortable because of all the boxes. When we moved into our new house, it felt so sterile, which made us homesick for our old place. Because we didn't want our kids to feel out of sorts, we stayed up late night after night to hang pictures and put things away so that it would feel like a home and the kids would have all their stuff. That is what parents do for their kids--they put their happiness at the forefront. It is absurd that Kate would schedule so much travel during a big move to a new house, especially when she has a good deal of freedom over her schedule
--------------------
Kate needs the drama and likes to have things she can complain about. She could incorporate those kids into helping unpacking boxes and she could make it a fun time for them to do as a family but instead she just wants to complain. And to me it seems that she loves being away from the kids, she loves the interviews and attention. She has an overinflated ego.

Sherp said...

I love the kids. I don't care if they get freebies, loads of cloths and other material things. Good for the folks who donate and good for the family to receive. What I do care about and think will bring the show to an end is Kate being bored and nasty so much and Jon being so abrupt with the kids. I don't like watching that. Jon and Kate need to pretend at leasst that they are nice people who love their children and don't yank and pull them. I am getting bored by Kate being bored and mean.
Yes and the fact that Jon took those kids out with no hat and gloves in Pa in November is awful and he had a hat on.

Helene said...

Pam said...

fostersmom-

Don't place all the blame on J&K. I believe TLC is the one doing the editing and the overall tone of the show is very much directed by that. They are the ones editing IN all the whining and negativity. Who knows what positive things they are not including?


By the same token, here's a scary thought: it could just as well be that they're editing out worse stuff, and what we're seeing is the best of it.

concerned wife and mommy said...

Blogger big_smartmouth said...

concerned wife and mommy-

do you really think the walk was jons idea? hell no! it was the producers idea, telling jon they needed him to do an activity for the show. it was the producers that made all the kids go. these "heart-felt activities" are just rating boosters, just like them giving plates of cookies to their friends and families at Christmas time. just like their "charity garage sale". it's all for the show. i don't think j&k have wanted to do anything warm and heart-felt for their kids in years.

2/13/2009 6:38 PM

------------------------------

Oh, I know that the walk was the producer's idea. I had just read a lot of people talking about how the kids were forced to go on the walk. It COULD have been a fun activity, had Jon actually showed some enthusiasm and tailored to their age level. All I meant was, since they are not showing the nannies on the show, most people will assume that there are none, and it is not safe to leave kids that age alone in the home. That's why I said the ONE thing I can't fault Jon for :)

And he did make lunch a little more fun with the vegetables for dessert thing. I would love it if I could believe the kids' lives were filled with more moments like that. Unfortunately, I don't think that is the case.

Wendy said...

HELLOOOOO! THE PRODUCERS ARE JON & KATE!

RunJonRun said...

I just watched the repeat of the show on TLC, which is now being followed by the Valentine's Day episode. I made a point of studying really hard the actual walk in the woods. While Jon was overall frustrated and impatient, I don't think he was completely out of line considering the situation. He also showed the kids love in this episode. Watching Kate now in the Valentine's episode is like watching a completely different person. She was actually acting like a mom (as much as she was ever able to, anyway). The bottom line remains that this show needs to stop but sometimes I think people on this board get too carried away at picking apart every little thing.

ThreeFarmers said...

RunJonRun said...
I think people on this board get too carried away at picking apart every little thing.


I agree with this, however, I think I've figured something out. New people find this board everyday. First people find the board, then they read it. Eventually, they get frustrated enough to start posting. New posters are generally a bit angry and a lot disillusioned by the J&K dog and pony show. The angrier you are, the more you want to nit-pick. That's human nature.

The people who are doing the most scrutinizing now are not the same ones who were doing it 6 months or even 6 weeks ago. It's a cycle that I know I went through and one that you can see by the repeated themes and discussions on these threads.

Anyone who cares about children has the right to be upset when they learn the truth about J&K. In order for this board to continue, all its readers should be able to discuss anything relating to the show.

I welcome all the converted sheeple. For each new GWOP reader who nit-picks the show, there's one less person telling us how jealous we are. My hope is, eventually, everyone who is upset about J&K will quit watching. I think it will happen....it just takes a bit of time.

yeaisaidthat said...

And he did make lunch a little more fun with the vegetables for dessert thing. I would love it if I could believe the kids' lives were filled with more moments like that. Unfortunately, I don't think that is the case.

Or they are making a concious effort to intentionally display 'creatively' editted film footage in order to instigate and provide fuel for the critics, thus encouraging more people to watch, which equals high ratings, which equals more sponsors, which equals more power with regards to contract negotiations, which equals more $$$$ in the hands of J & K. In other words, using and manipulating (EXPLOITING) the actions , behaviors, and 'reality' of their eight minor children to further their ( J & K, TLC/Figure 8 Productions) own self serving agendas!

sgw555 said...

I totally agree that every time I see Jon and Kate on that couch doing the interview portion, they seem to like each other less and less.

But the thing that bothered me the most was the coupon incident: Jon and especially Kate are always whining about how busy they are - and, indeed, Kate seems to be "in New York" half the time - and yet somehow she STILL HAD TIME TO DRIVE TO A STORE TO GET $20 BACK!

I'm sure that she pulled this stunt - making the big deal with Jon, doing her speech about how she 'always' uses coupons, etc. - to try to counteract all the negative publicity they've received over how much money they make, but all it did was reinforce the notion that even the smallest amount of money (20 bucks) was more important to her than spending time with her children.

Ugh.

KidsAreCute said...

With regards to the coupon, at one point, Kate spits out 1/2 a sentence, something to the effect that Jon was going to have to go back to the store to redeem the $20 coupon when he drops off the tups at pre school.

The bickering between the 2 of them may be real, or they may be setting the scene for more fodder for future episodes. They are at the point where they are running out of story lines. There’s been a backlash to all the ‘vacation’ episodes, the twins don’t want to be filmed (or are in school most of the day), and there’s not as much change on a day to day basis w/ the tups as there was when they were 16 months old. Once J&K finish moving into the house (i.e., a few episodes of receiving furniture, appliances, painting walls, etcs), there’s not much of a story line until they can think up some other direction in which to propel the show. Adopt a kid? That appears to have been nixed. So, it’s either bring in the Nanny to work w/ the kids, or create some drama between J&K over the course of several episodes, allow it to reach a breaking point, and then cough up several more episodes where they try to reconcile. Bingo, we are into the next season! With any luck, by that time, one of the tups will have a wiggly tooth….

HoustonHere said...

Geesh, I can't wait for this show to be cancelled. The sooner the better for those kids.

Some clarification: Kate has graciously admitted (and inadvertently hung herself) on air that whatever we see on the show is what goes on when the cameras are gone. What we see is the real deal. That is sad...I was sorta hoping she was nicer to her husband Jennifer when the cameras were off. So, if any advocates of the show want to blame TLC bad editing, you can't.

Also, wasn't there an episode where they met with a lawyer to draw up a will? The kids will get money if J&K pass on - 1/2 when they graduate from college and 1/2 when they turn 30 or all when they turn 30 if they don't go to college. So the kids will see some money...whatever is left over from therapy and what J&K haven't spent on themselves.

Perhaps Kate got upset about the coupon b/c she wasn't going to get paid if her sponsors found out she didn't use one of their complimentary coupons.
And perhaps Jennifer doesn't follow Kates rules anymore b/c he has learned he can't do anything unless Kate tells him how to do it.

I feel so sorry for those kids. I never see anyone holding them, rocking them, reading books to them. Being the mother of a toddler, it is strange to see the show and not see any coloring books or playdoh around - things young children love to play and helps give them a sense of creativity. I can't remember an episode where Kate was sitting with any of the boys or holding the boys in her lap and just loving on them. I thought it made sense at the time when they did something alone with each child but Kate didn't go when it was the boys turn b/c she wanted them to spend time bonding with their dad Jennifer without her. It all makes sense now...she doesn't like men, she has no respect for her husband, and she probably can't stand that she has boys other than they bring in the bacon for her. I believe she didn't go on the boy's outings b/c she can't stand to be around them! What sad, deprived, neglected children.

concerned mom said...

Please someone post this whole blog to You Tube.. maybe this issue would be a hit and that J&K and TLC would actually realize the truth about their show.

Kate, hates Jon and it just shows every episode (with all the harsh words and comments she makes to Jon). Jon keeps his feeling to himself (with all the eye rolling and making faces on interviews).. the way Kate is treating him on national TV and Jon has no way to let out those feelings but to his kids.

I agree let us not watch the show.. probably if the rating go very low.. J & K could finally realize how they are destroying their family.

Maybe Kate then would open her eyes and read these eyes opening truth about their show (because she said on their sixgosselin website that she reads only good things)

BTW, What is the issue between Aunt Jodi and Beth not being in good terms with Kate?

Tammy H. said...

To Pam: You said to give them a chance to get their house together-did u forget, they have nannies, housekeepers, landscapers, chefs? There was a reason for not unpacking and we all knew Kon was waiting on someone to "sponsor" them or whatever, and get them some brand new furniture, appliances, etc. And yes, TLC does edit, but they can only show what Kate and Jon give them. They are ungrateful for all the things they have been given-I get so sick of hearing Kate say "They did it for us cause they love us". Who loves you Kate? You have ran everyone off because of the money; the people who love you are the people who get advertisement out of you and exploitation of your kids.
And if you watched the show where the were supposed to answer everything we all wanted to know (which of course, it didn't)Kate made the comment that the only reason they are still continuing the show is so they will have enough money for the kids to go to college. HELLO!!!! We all know the Gov. of PA gave all 8 kids a trust fund when the tups' were born that would cover their college. That is just a coverup for her to get her some more money.

And I do wonder if they have accounts for all the kids? And if so, just how much Kate allows them to have in it? Cause if you all remember, she said she wasn't buying them a car when they turned 16 or older-they would have to work for it..WHAT HAVE THEY BEEN DOING SINCE BIRTH?!!! She thinks this is her show...but it was supposed to be about a humble couple with twins and tups' and the struggles of everyday life...I don't see any struggling at all and I definitely don't see humble.

I have quit watching the show for the most part but have recorded it on DVR and watch bits and pieces every now and then, I don't care to see KON at all, I would rather see it about 8 happy kids whose parents appreciated them and raised them the American way...not the begging way!

I flipped through tonight and 1 of the shows on was the one in Utah. Yea, it did show Jon bringing the kids in "junk" food from McDonalds and to hear Kate tell it (just a month or so ago on a talk show), they have NEVER ate fast food and won't ever. And then the way Mady was acting and being so disrespectful towards Jon on the slopes. Yeah, Kate says she is a different type of child, but she gets a lot of that from Kate. If she doesn't get her way, she pitches a fit until she does-both of them. THere was no punishment, no warning, no nothing. But let that of been 1 of the boys act that way to Kate and Lord all heck would of broke loose, ya know, cause boys are icky and yucky!

1 more thing is during that episode (cause I did want to see the part where Beth put Mady in her place and didn't let her get away with mistreating her siblings)...the 1st night and next morning there, Kate "supposedly" had a horrendous headache and couldn't help Jon the next morning dress all 8 kids in snow suits and take them with him to the slopes. But as soon as they were gone, Kate was out the door with Beth to the spa, giggling all the way.

Such a sad, sad story of a family gone awry. I feel so sorry for those kids. I have wrote letter to all their sponsors and tried to help with the crusade to give these kids their "lives" back. I hope how soon all of everyone's efforts works!

Laurie said...

Is TLC trying to edit it to make it appear as though their marriage is on the skids? The body language, the sniping back and forth, and generally nasty attitude that was exhibited in this episode goes way beyond the "this is just how we are" excuse that Kate is so fond of stating. I can't see how this show will make it much longer. And I predict they split within 6 months of TLC's cameras leaving the home. Following all that, I predict Kate will have a breakdown, not knowing what to do with herself once the attention is off of her. What a train wreck. Poor kids - money can't buy everything.

Tammy H. said...

OK, this is supposed to be Reality tv, which of course we know it's not. TLC has things for the family to do, they get them vacations, they put together the shows. The only reality is that Kate doesn't appreciate anything or anyone including her kids. Like I have said before, yes, TLC does edit the film, but they can't put disrespect or humiliation in an episode unless it was on the film to begin with.

I bet Kate loves being away from home, she has nothing to deal with but taking care of herself...let me take that back, when she is at home, she doesn't take care of anything..everyone else does. Jon has bathed ALL the kids since birth, he has always got them ready in the mornings cause Kate isn't a morning person. Kate is just a different breed of person who thinks the world owes her everything because she gave birth to 6 kids at once. Well, hate to tell her but she isn't the first and definetly won't be the last..and OMG someone had 8 at once.

I don't respect Jon for dragging those crying kids outside just because that's what TLC wanted. They could of had a great time playing hide and seek in that big house but we all know it was right in the dead of winter and it had to be 30 degrees or less and who would of wanted to go out in it. I think that's why Jon was so hateful, he didn't want to go either, but by contract, he had to!

And if you really think about it, Kate has no right correcting Jon's grammar or speech or anything. She makes up words and acts so dumb sometimes when told things that are common sense. That's why i have always questioned whether she is an LPN and has a degree or not. She just wants to be dominant and i am glad sometimes that Jon corrects her and tells her to hush that she doesn't know what she's talking about.

I will finish this later! Got a class to teach!

Anne Langley said...

I've been a fan of Jon, Kate and their amazing children for some time now. I've been reading your blogs, and while I try to understand where you are coming from, I don't think you see the big picture here. Say they tape footage for 40 episodes in a season. That's 20 minutes per episode, which calculates to a little over 13 hours total. 13 hours of there lives actually make it on television for the viewing audience's judgments and criticism each season. I'm sure if a camera followed any parent around and condensed their lives into a 20 minutes tv episode, there would be some not so shining moments that got magnified. As far as whether or not Jon and Kate have final say about what goes on air, you don't know that, none of us do. Only the Gosselins and TLC know that for sure.

I for one commend Kate. She found herself with 8 kids, and had to figure out a way to provide them with happy lives, as well as give them a future. I have heard her say more then once, if the kids don't want to be filmed, they aren't. How often do you see the cameras in Mady and Cara's room? or the little kids rooms for that matter? The cameras are in the living room, the kitchen, the backyard, some times in a bedroom, but not often. They are places where they are all together. Even when the kids actually do interviews, when they are done, they get up and leave. No one forces them to say. Kate's also said, the kids have friends. The cameras don't follow them to sleepovers, or friend's birthday parties. They do get the privacy they want.

As far as your extreme criticism of this day in the woods, a family of a 8 is incredibly different then you and your sister. I remember screaming and crying one time when my dad made me go hiking with him and my sister. I also remember how much fun I ended up having once we got going. It's also a memory I'll have for the rest of my life.

I also remember how long it took my mother to unpack when we moved into a new house. I can't imagine what its like for a mother of 8, and criticizing her for not having time to get pictures hung yet, is just rude. This show they have is Jon and Kate's job. I don't see why that's a bad thing. What's worse, a mother that leaves for a few days every couple of months, or a mother that leaves for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week for 18 years or her kids lives? Everyone wants to say that Kate is in it for every dollar she can get. If that were the case, explain the yard sale episode where the money went to St. Jude's. As a matter of fact, explain that to all the kids at St. Jude's that received presents from the Gosselins. Yes the show has sponsors, but the kids don't know a sponsored toy from an old chewie. That kind of thing doesn't affect them negatively, but it does help create college funds for them, and ensure a stable life for their family.

The last point I'd like to make is this idea that Jon and Kate are bad parents, who mock their children. That's just unreasonable. I've flinched when my father came towards me and he's never laid a hand on me. I've also cracked jokes with him and my mother about the funny, odd things I did when I was young. It's not demeaning for parents to enjoy the quirkiness of their children. It's natural, it just also happens to be on a weekly television series for all the world to see. In 10 years, when their kids do look back at these episodes. They'll appreciate that their parents were present with them. That they laughed with them, and went places with them, and tried to make sure they enjoyed their young lives.

Jon and Kate put their lives on film for the world to see. With that, comes a target on your back for people who think they know how you should live your life. However, in the end, this show won't last forever. Some day it will be canceled, and these kids will go on to lead their lives. They'll just get to do it better provided for because they had two parents who didn't care what anyone said about them and who did the best they could for their children under the circumstances.

Sidney said...

Dear Anne Langely,

Let's all meet in about 10 years and see if what you think will happen has indeed happened.

I wouldn't take any bets on it.

big_smartmouth said...

"she FOUND herself with 8 kids"? as if she just stumbled upon 8 kids in the woods. she chose this lifestyle. she chose to have these 8 children. she used drug, not once but twice. she had multiples before, and still went back to drugs because "she wanted one more". then adopt one! and, she admitted that if she were to do it again, she would do it differently. how sad.

as for as not knowing what it's like to live in a big family, i am 1 of 5 children just 6 years apart. on top of that, my mother did daycare for money, so we had up to 10 extra kids running around our house on a daily basis. my parents raised us just fine w/out exploiting us. and i think it's funny that them having college funds is always brought up. but, how are trips to hawaii, teeth whitening & hair plugs helping their college funds? it's not. j&k may have started this on good intentions (which i still higly doubt), but it has now turned into feeding their needs.

and i agree, we should cut them some slack on not unpacking yet...especially since i think the boxes might have been "forgotten" on purpose, to milk this move and remind the viewers "this is our new house...did you see our new house?...did i mention we moved into a new house?!" (i have a feeling we will be seeing a 30 minutes episode of "let's finally unpack these boxes". good times to come!)

as for "HELLOOOOO! THE PRODUCERS ARE JON & KATE!", do you really think they are smart enough to catch these things? they both think their actions are just fine. they don't think their snide remarks in interviews are bad. they don't see anything wrong with how they treat people at meet & greets. if the producers weren't there to save their butts, this show would be completely different...and not in a good way.