Mady is only living what she has learned.

There has always been a buzz about the behavior of Mady Gosselin, but even more so recently when she was seen in her finest form on Access Hollywood (youtube version) and the CBS News Early Show. However, I don't think Mady's behavior toward Kate can be viewed through the same lens as that of a healthy mother-child relationship.

In a healthy, mature mother-child relationship, the mother is respected because of how she handles the relationship with the child. She earns that respect by modeling respectful behavior toward the child and requiring respectful behavior in return. As a result, the child genuinely wants to treat the mother in the same way in which she feels treated herself. Sure there will be bumps along the way, and even the most respectful of parent will deal with rebellion as children go through the normal phases of development on their way to adulthood. But there will always be that underlying bedrock of mutual love and respect to keep their relationship intact.

continued...

166 comments:

Serena said...

There has always been a buzz about the behavior of Mady Gosselin, but even more so recently when she was seen in her finest form on Access Hollywood and the CBS News Early Show. However, I don't think Mady's behavior toward Kate can be viewed through the same lens as that of a healthy mother-child relationship.

In a healthy, mature mother-child relationship, the mother is respected because of how she handles the relationship with the child. She earns that respect by modeling respectful behavior toward the child and requiring respectful behavior in return. As a result, the child genuinely wants to treat the mother in the same way in which she feels treated herself. Sure there will be bumps along the way, and even the most respectful of parent will deal with rebellion as children go through the normal phases of development on their way to adulthood. But there will always be that underlying bedrock of mutual love and respect to keep their relationship intact.

Viewed from that normal perspective, of course Mady's brash, sassy behavior toward her mother looks shocking and "bratty", but in my opinion it shows strength and the ability to survive on Mady's part. Mady is routinely treated horribly by Kate in public (and it is an obvious inference to make that she is treated as badly or worse in private). I don't think any parent automatically deserves respect simply by virtue of their title as parent. For it to be genuine, I think it must be earned as opposed to simply "demanded".

In comparison to Kate, Mady is powerless and vulnerable. She can either retreat into a stony fortress of repressed emotions (like poor Cara), or she can strike back the only way possible -- by calling Kate out on her BS at every opportunity she gets. And frankly I cheer every time I see it. Kate seems to think that she can exploit Mady and treat her like garbage in hundreds of little ways, and then when something big comes along like a public interview, demand that Mady reciprocate only with respect and good manners. I'm sorry, but that's absurd. I wouldn't do that, and neither would you unless your middle name is doormat.

Kate's attempt to squelch this healthy rebellion by brute force (or rather, "punishment of severeness") will backfire in a major way. Mady has absolutely no respect for her not because Mady is "a brat" but because there is absolutely nothing about their mother-daughter relationship for Mady to respect.

And I don't believe for one minute that it "hurts" Kate in any way. If Kate's heart were truly invested in her relationship with Mady, she would not habitually treat her like crap and badmouth her to the viewing public. I'm sure Kate is embarrassed by Mady and often infuriated by Mady's subversive attempts to expose her lies, but hurt? Nope, not at all. The only person capable of hurting Kate is Kate herself; you can only be hurt by the ones you love.

The tragedy is that, as each year goes by, Mady becomes more entrenched in this pattern of bad behavior. The primary relationship in her life -- the mother-daughter one -- has taught her that authority figures are not to be trusted and certainly not to be respected.

With enough time and patience, other adults in Mady's life would be able to teach her alternate lessons in those areas... adults such as Grandma, Beth, Aunt Jodi, maybe a favorite teacher at school. But since the Gosselin children are being denied the steady, stable influences of others like these in their lives, it will be a grim decade ahead of them as they emerge into adulthood lacking that critically important nurturing in their lives. And Kate deludes herself into calling that a "well-rounded" experience for them. Sure, they can "warm up" to strangers and men with cameras, but if not to their own mother then what's the point?

You think Mady is bratty? She is only behaving exactly as she has been taught to behave, and she is surviving. She is living what she has learned.

jodifur said...

I actually think Mady could benefit from some mental health therapy. But they will never get her any. B/c then they will have to admit everything is not "perfect."

marypoppins said...

i wonder what she's like in school.

Annaliesa said...

That was very beautifully said! It's very, very sad though.

Mady is a brilliant little girl and it breaks my heart to watch her spirit being destroyed week after week. :-(

WS said...

I agree with everything you said. Normally I would be disgusted and horrified at that type of behavior from a child, but in this case I feel horror and sadness instead. I don't even watch the show anymore, but I can rattle off several examples of Kate's comparing Mady unfavorably to Cara in particular, and twisting even her compliments into insults. (When Mady tried to help the tups clean up, Kate told us that Mady tries to help w/the tups - but she's bossy and controlling. Or something like that.)

I do think there is another secondary issue, though. I think that Mady truly has a mind of her own and has a difficult time with conformity. When she went to get her ears pierced, she said something like "Mommy, you know I'll always disagree with you", when Kate made suggestions for earrings. And in the CBS interview, I think she knew the interviewer was trying to get her to say that Kate was a good mom, and she didn't want to be forced into saying that, so she had to add her own "but I like Daddy better" zinger. In the Disney episode Jon, I think, said that Mady likes to "go against the flow". Some children just don't like to conform - and being a non-conformist myself, I admire that trait. However, I think adults need to teach them that sometimes it's OK to think for yourself, but there are also times when it is necessary to follow the rules and do what everyone else is doing. Unfortunately for Mady, I suspect that conformity and obedience are given the highest priority in the Gosselin home (matching outfits, all going on the same trips, obeying for the camera, etc.), and I'm guessing that creative expression is discouraged.

Having said all that, I really do worry that Mady is an angry, unhappy child - and when I was still watching the show, I was appalled at the way her parents talked about her on national TV. (And from everything I've read, it's only gotten worse.) From everything I've seen on the show, I think Mady might benefit from some professional intervention - for sibling rivalry if nothing else - but I think that any competent counselor would tell Jon and Kate to stop the public exposure immediately, and I don't think that's the message they want to hear. (Again, I don't know the Gosselins personally - but that's my personal "take" on the situation.)

Mady is quite talented dramatically, and last summer I attended a seminar on how drama can be an effective tool for self-expression and conflict resolution. I think Mady would thrive in a program like that.

Sue said...

When Mady gets out in the real world, no one will care what kind of relationship she had with her mother. They will only see an explosive person with a big mouth. I am not saying this to be mean. The reality is, it is to Mady's advantage to be taught socially appropriate behavior in order for her to be successful in life and to meet her own goals. The tragedy is noone appears to be doing that.
IMHO, Kate is not capable (if she ever was) of controling Mady in any way, let alone teaching her manners. That is not Mady's fault, but it will become her problem if she doesn't get help.

?WHY? said...

Serena,

What I witnessed during those interviews was a little girls cry for help. Great post. Thanks.

ROFL said...

Who wants to bet me that we won't be seeing much of Mady in anymore impromptu interviews in the future?

SaveTheTwins said...

What good will it do to send Mady to therapy if everything else stays the same? Mady's not the problem, she's a symptom - a bright, loud, pissed off symptom of a festering problem. She might learn more acceptable ways of dealing with her anger, but the fact remains that anger is justified. It's not going away until J&K stop being selfish and learn how to parent.

4thekids said...

Now, I am certainly no fan of Kate Gosselin or her parenting (or lack thereof). However, I do not believe it is appropriate to only blame Kate for Mady's behavior, as I have read in various comments throughout this entire blog.

Mady has a naturally temperamental personality; she can be sweet as punch one minute but volatile and rude the next. More often than not, she exhibits nasty behavior.

I normally don't like to get all psychological on people (unless I'm paid to do it :] ) but allow me one minute to pose a popular psychological theory. It is referred to as diathesis-stress, and it can apply to many things. In short, it means people are predisposed to a certain something (behavior, disorder, disease, etc...) and it emerges from a certain trigger (environment, abuse, vaccinations, you name it.)

In Mady's case, I think her predisposition is anger. Kate's parenting style -- yelling, ignoring, favoritism, neglect, hypocrisy -- is part of Mady's trigger. Add this to the stress of having 6 starlet little siblings, a camera in your life near-constantly, and a bad relationship between the parents, and I can absolutely see why Mady is so horrible much of the time.

I can relate because I have the same issue. The littlest thing can absolutely make me spit fire, and I cannot help it. This kind of behavior emerges when triggered, and my trigger is extreme stress.

I urge the Gosselins to pull their heads out of the money-green clouds and realize that their daughter needs help. I think she would greatly benefit from sessions with a wonderful child psychologist who could work with her about her feelings. I also think Jon and Kate need to meet with a family therapist as well, who can give them a much needed slap in the face and kick in the rear regarding their parenting styles and how it is affecting Mady.

Sorry for the rant, but my heart goes out to this little girl.

VB Mom of 2 Boys said...

Both Mady and Cara seem like lost little souls just trying to get their fair share of love from a mother who is more concerned about the appearance of being a good mother instead of actually being a good mother.

When Mady acts out, I am sure that the younger kids are watching. I can only wonder if as they get older they will speak out against their mother in the same fashion that their older sister does.

Izzie said...

Kate is a bully and someone needs to stand up to her! I say, good for Mady to be the one to question the way her mother treats her and the other kids.

mollybloom said...

I don't usually post about the children, but it hurts me to see Mady or any of the other children called "bad"--not directed at anyone here, but I understand there is stuff on the net. Think about what has happened to this child in her few years. She was born to immature parents who went on to produce six more kids that they couldn't afford or take care of. Then the parents decided that the kids, the bundle of babies, could be their meal ticket, and the twins, who once had known a fairly normal life, had to go along on the ride. Mady's tantrums were broadcast to millions (?) of people as were her parents' statements about how bad this young child was. As the tup-capades skated on, the parents got worse, mocking and yelling at each other and the children, dragging everyone around to memory-crushing events, and making sure that no one's dignity was left unscathed, some attacked more than others. I think it's amazing that neither Mady nor her twin has had some kind of breakdown. That they hang on in this dysfunctional family environment is a testament to their strength. Good parents would guide and correct their children's wrong behavior; Jon and Kate can't even discipline themselves.

Personally, I think all of these children will grow up to have emotional problems because their mother has some kind of serious personality disorder (no longer a point of controversy, I think) and their father apparently has abdicated his role as a source of strength and comfort. However, the greatest tragedy is that all of this is being filmed for strangers' entertainment.

Moons in Leo said...

Serena, thanks for your thoughtful post.

My heart broke yesterday when I saw how many groups there are on Facebook called "I Hate Mady Gosselin."

Her strong personality hopefully will protect her as she struggles through her teen years.

I believe we see her behave inappropriately because she 'can.' This is the way she strikes back at a situation she can't control and doesn't want to be a part of.

pinkdiamond611 said...

Imagine being Mommy and Daddy's center of the universe and then tossed aside to be the hired help. That is what happened to Cara and Mady when they were four years old, the same age that the 'tups are now. She is just searching to be validated as a young child knows how. No matter how bratty she seems, she is only a child.

April C said...

I am no fan of the Gosselin's....... and I agree that Mady's behavior is at least partially caused by her feeling a lack of acceptance by her parents and competition with her siblings who get a lot more attention. That said, her behavior was very unacceptable, in my opinion - my children would never get away with anything like that. I don't think that there is anything 'healthy' about rebellion (at least not the way I define rebellion). Mady should be allowed to be her own person - but should not be allowed to be disrespectful and/or disobedient. And J&K should take their children off the air!

NDmom said...

Serena, I couldn't agree with you more. Mady is crying for help but she doesn't get it. She needs the patience and nurturing of a loving mother, but she gets nothing.

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, and I think Mady responds to Kate with the treatment Mady is used to receiving from Kate. Kate has not set a good example and that is reflected in Mady's behavior. Mady is just as smart as can be and knows that she can reach out to lots of people on national TV by "saying her piece". It's really a cry for help but she won't get any from her parents and sadly, she has no other adults in her life any longer who would have a vested, caring interest in how she is raised -- read "grandparents, aunts, uncles, and other close adult friends who care.

Jon and Kate have set their priorities and it is the almighty dollar, not the raising of well-rounded, respectful, family-oriented children who have been taught the Christian values of honoring their father and mother and doing unto others as you would have them do unto you. Jon and Kate are too busy coveting their neighbors possessions to spend time with their kids.

It is very sad :'(

AnneMarie said...

Brava !

As for helping Mady, you better believe it! It's the ONLY way she is going to learn how to deal with anger and frustration issues. She certainly isn't learning that from the KONs, the nanny's, or the babysitters.

The trick will be getting the KON to go with it, as previously stated, that would be asking them to admit that they screwed up or cannot handle raising their own kids.

I still believe that they will later blame all the kids bad behaviour or incidents on TLC and Figure8, and make them pay for it all.

Denise said...

Mady may succeed in doing what we have not been able to do - get this carnage taken off the air. It is getting harder and harder to deny that all isn't well in Gosselein world.

Kate seems to have no connection to her children and the older they get, the less equipped she is to parent them. She was only capable when their lives were made up of schedules, lists and inventories. Kate is a logistician not a Mom.

zoey said...

KATE really needs to stop refering to mady as "mady is being UGLY today..."
because a small child knows what the word UGLY means but doesnt necessarily get when you are calling a behavior ugly vs. appearance ugly.
if kate can lose the word UGLY from her horrendously horrendous vocab then things could slowly improve.
i never hear her refer to the other children as being UGLY

Old School said...

Serena,4thekids and WS,

EXCELLENT comments! Whatever the case may be whether Mady acts out because of her frustration or because that is just her personality she does need to learn some coping skills. Since her parents are so lax in that department some professional help is in order. Sue made a very good point and I strongly AGREE. When Mady goes into the real world she may not have the coping skills.In my book Jon and Kate are a sorry excuse for parents.

Serena said...

my children would never get away with anything like that

I'm guessing because you don't treat your children like crap, so they don't have to "get away with anything like that".

Mady should be allowed to be her own person - but should not be allowed to be disrespectful and/or disobedient.

Why should more be demanded of an 8-year-old than of her mother? Exactly where is she supposed to LEARN this "respectful" behavior? Her own mother disrespects her horribly. Kids don't just pull good behavior out of thin air. They have to be taught it. And the only way to gain any child's respect is to earn it. You wouldn't respect someone who doesn't deserve it, why should Mady?

I don't think that there is anything 'healthy' about rebellion

When the alternative is to continue to be exploited and crushed, I think rebellion is about the healthiest thing you can do.

Janie said...

Many's the time I've thought of the poem "Children learn what they live" by Dorothy Law Nolte when it comes to the Gosselin children (especially Mady). If you aren't familiar with it, it can be found here:

http://www.noogenesis.com/pineapple/Kristone.html

I had a framed copy of this hanging outside my kids' bedrooms for years, and it was a great reminder of how what we model for our children affects them.

togachris said...

My parents didn't have a TV show when I was a kid and I was WAY brattier than Maddy is. I'm not sure how my parents did it as I was very high maintenance. It's just her personality and I think TV show or not, this would be how she acts. As a parent, I'm glad my kids cut me a break and didn't act like I did.

lifeoriley said...

I think that Mady is a very intelligent, highly perceptive little girl. She has a strong personality-- and sometimes she does not act in the most respectful manner. However, she needs to be taught how to express herself appropriately-- and it appears that her parents are not doing much of a job of that. At least from watching the show, the parents do not exhibit mature respectful behavior most of the time, IMO.
I agree with this post--children learn what they see. You cannot expect a child to "do as I say, not as I do." It just doesn't work that way. For example, it was laughably hypocritical of Kate to tell Alexis to keep her hands to herself while she, Kate, was squeezing Alexis' arm.

As for rebellion-- it is a normal, healthy part of a child's development, IMO. Rebellious behavior may range from mild to extreme-- but it is part of the process of the child establishing a separate sense of self/identity from that of the parents.
It may not be a pleasant/welcome stage for parents to experience, but children can and will rebel at some point in their lives--whether they are 2 years old, 20 years old, or thirty years old. It happens.

Lightly Row said...

"My parents didn't have a TV show when I was a kid and I was WAY brattier than Maddy is."

---------

Just goes to show you that even parents without TV shows can fail to earn their children's respect. I've never met a disrespectful child whose parents were competently doing their job. It's really not rocket science.

Me said...

lifeoriley I am not a fan of Kate in fact I cant stand her but what did you expect Kate to do with Alexis? Have a 2 minute discussion on why Alexis should stop teasing Collin? Kate had every right to do what she did at that moment. There are some things that adults can do that kids cant.

Virginia Girl said...

Serena - very accurate and sad post. I have thought this for quite some time, but you put it so accurately into words as usual.

Dr. Phil said something that stuck with me once - anger covers hurt. It certainly applies here. This poor child went from being the center of the universe before the tups arrived to back seat. Then, to constantly have your own mother cut you down. Words can hurt just as much, if not more than a physical hurt; especially to a child.

mochi said...

I don't think Maddy's "disposition" is "naturally angry" or that she doesn't respect Kate at all. She seems to want Kate's affection very much. Wasn't she the one that said she wished it could be just Maddy, Hannah, and Kate? Maddy also showed a lot of affection for her cousins. She seems like a great kid with lots of energy, who doesn't have parents that can direct her talents to a productive direction and aren't consistent about correcting her behavior.

Maybe she does need someone to talk to or therapy. I don't know. But she might just need some friends and socializing. She could learn a lot from girl scouts or team sports, where kids can learn to be good sports.

TheKidsAreCute said...

marypoppins said, "i wonder what she's like in school".

I'm guessing Mady is well behaved in school.

In the 'cooking school' episode where Mady and Cara took a cooking class, Mady was happy, got along w/ the other children, and seemed to enjoy interacting w/ the teachers. The episode I’m referring to is not the one in Hawaii, or the cupcake episode for the tups’ 4th birthday, but the cooking school episode in Penn. a season or 2 ago.

We've seen this 'happy, calm, good' behavior from Mady before, usually when there's another female figure around who pays attention to Mady.

I noted how calm and happy Mady was during the St. Jude episode when they visited "Nana Bev" (was that her name ,or am I confusing her w/ another 'Nana'?) Mady was very calm as she and Cara searched through Kmart for gifts for Nana Bev and her husband. Even after Nana Bev hugged Mady, and went onto hug the other children, Mady seemed very calm and content just to be standing next to her.

This is why I believe, in the presence of a calm, respectful, nurturing, attentive teacher, Mady probably behaves appropriately.

Liz said...

Some kids just need more attention. I wish Jon and Kate would realize this. Jon took Cara skiing alone because they both enjoy it. He should have taken Mady alone because she needs it. A little one on one time would benefit this child greatly. If not we will probably read her tell all in about 10 years called " Growing Up Gosselin" or "My Mother Kate the Shrew".

Carolina said...

This is a fabulous post. :)
My mom is a wonderful mom who went through so much just to get pregnant with my brother and I. My brother was a BREEZE for her. He never gave her any trouble, was just a really good kid, never really questioned authority, etc. However.. I was a hellion. I questioned everything from my place in the world to God, called my dad a "sperm donor" in public, and regularly was just horrible to my mom from the age of 11 until oh... 19? I feel so terrible about it now, because no matter how bad I was, she showed me love, compassion, kindness, and above all DISCIPLINE. Now, at 26, we're closer than ever. My dad was like Kate. He made fun of me to my face and behind my back, he picked on me, he ignored me, etc. I see a lot of myself in Mady, yet no loving and patient adult to listen to her, to guide her - can you imagine what will happen when Mady hits puberty and has nobody to talk to about things that happen to girls at that age? Junior high is such a horrible place, and without a loving parent to see you through, I just can't imagine how bad it will be. As much as I dislike Kate, I wish her no bad karma. I just want her to WAKE UP and see her beautiful blessings before it's too late for her to forge a relationship. I tell you now, 8-9 is when I figured my dad would never come around. Kate, please don't let that happen. Be there for your kids. All eight of them.

Sue said...

I remember Mady expressing delight when she had her special day with Jon and Kate. She said she was happy about being able to go out alone with her Mommy and Daddy. I believe she also said she enjoyed having lunch at the restaurant with them by herself because it wasn't so loud! Does anyone else remember this?
I wonder if they have kept up that practice of going out alone with each one of their kids, or if that was only for T.V.

lisak said...

IMO, there is to much time and attention taken away from Mady and Cara. J&K focus more on the tups and their needs, because the tups are the little money makers. I also blame Kate for Mady's behavior, because it is the mothers responsibility to see what the problem is and get it taken care of. Mady is not to blame.

Sue said...

I read on another thread where someone said that it will be years before we know how growing up on a reality show will effect children; that these children can't escape into their character, they ARE the character. Just like the Truman show, only in this case the kids become aware at a young age that THEY are the "episode".
How bizarre that must be when it finally sinks in that you have been the armchair entertainment for millions of people's viewing pleasure.

timetogokon said...

There are children who have a way more difficult life then Mady and aren't allowed to act rude. Her life is cake compared to many children.

-----------------------

How is Mady's (or any of the other G kids)life "cake"? Because she goes on trips and gets free Gap clothing ? I'm quite certain that all the kids would be much happier in a home with 2 loving parents and no free Juicy Juice.

And, yes, there are children in dire situations all over the world, but that doesn't lessen the gravity of what the G kids have to go through on a daily basis.

Tangerine Tanya said...

I feel more sorry for Cara. Someone posted that they thought that they saw her with her hands over her face crying in the new house episode.

D.Lane said...

Cake because she has food to eat and shelter and the list goes on. Once when they were on vacation Mady said "This is the worst day of my life" Some girls her age would love to be in her place. Mind you I dont like Kate one bit and this last show was the worst but seriously some kids do have a way worse life and still dont act rude.

Tangerine Tanya said...

I also feel sorry that Aaiden didnt get his cupcake,that Collin was threatened with his chewie/lovey and that Joel was placed on the floor when he was sick. Why the heck doesnt Jon step in?

mollybloom said...

D.Lane said...
There are children who have a way more difficult life then Mady and aren't allowed to act rude. Her life is cake compared to many children.

That's a very complicated conclusion. Yes, there are many children who lack the basics of food and shelter. However, there are also children who are materially rich and spiritually poor, and these children aren't necessarily better prepared for life than their counterparts.

I think the Gosselins hit a nerve because Jon and Kate tap into the demons of our own upbringing. We read our own lives into this family's. Many of us harbor hurt and resentment from a parent who wasn't emotionally or physically there for us, regardless of the toys and trips we might have received.

Mady Gosselin, like her brothers and sisters, is a child who has heaps of "things" but a poverty of friends and family, education and self-worth. And her loss is played out in a very public forum. Only the older, reflective Mady will be able to tell if her life was indeed a "piece of cake," if life in an empty golden cage was nice.

Serena said...

Cake because she has food to eat and shelter and the list goes on.

Well gee, so do the dogs in my local animal shelter. I would think the standard for human children is much higher than mere creature comforts.

mollybloom said it well -- these children may be materially rich but they are quite starved emotionally.

Lauren said...

I always have conflicted emotions about Mady's behavior when I watch the show, because sometimes I feel that Kate tries to be very patient with Mady and tries to hear what she has to say before she has a major meltdown. But I think that Kate's discipline style is inconsistent. Her mood is constantly changing, and it's like the kids don't know what to expect. If Kate were always calm when she disciplined, or even firm...or immediate in her reactions to bad behavior, the kids wouldn't be so out of control. Sometimes Kate corrects behavior...like the screaming or the fights or the mouthing-off. But most of the time, she doesn't. She lets too many things go. And she allows Mady to speak disrespectfully to her, because, really, I don't think that Kate knows how to handle her and is often too worn out to take the time to really give Mady some extra attention, regardless if it's to discipline her or praise her.

Now, with Kate being gone so often, I'm sure that Jon is more lenient with the twins when he stays with them. Naturally, Kate becomes the "mean" and "bossy" one.

Kate needs to stop running away from her children (and the chaos) and spend some time quality time with them--ALL of them. She needs to end this publicity crap and fix the mess she and her husband have made...before it's too late.

marypoppins said...

TheKidsAreCute said...

In the 'cooking school' episode where Mady and Cara took a cooking class, Mady was happy, got along w/ the other children, and seemed to enjoy interacting w/ the teachers. The episode I’m referring to is not the one in Hawaii, or the cupcake episode for the tups’ 4th birthday, but the cooking school episode in Penn. a season or 2 ago.

We've seen this 'happy, calm, good' behavior from Mady before, usually when there's another female figure around who pays attention to Mady.

I noted how calm and happy Mady was during the St. Jude episode when they visited "Nana Bev" (was that her name ,or am I confusing her w/ another 'Nana'?) Mady was very calm as she and Cara searched through Kmart for gifts for Nana Bev and her husband. Even after Nana Bev hugged Mady, and went onto hug the other children, Mady seemed very calm and content just to be standing next to her.

This is why I believe, in the presence of a calm, respectful, nurturing, attentive teacher, Mady probably behaves appropriately.
_________________________________
Maddy In cooking class- away from parents and tups and as Jon said on the couch likes it when they go out with the cameras and there's people around.

I think she was showing off just a little to her cook class buddies. She also got to lead the singing. She would sing a line of a song and then the class was repeating after her.
You can even hear her explaining that scott is the regular camera guy.


When buying the candles- it was Kate, Cara and Maddy only . I think again she was enjoying the one on one time with Kate and the cameras/attention. I think she likes the cameras when she is the centre of attention or on her terms.

She says she doesnt like the tups etc, but i think she enjoys when they all repsond to her direction eg clap everyone...

WS said...

"She says she doesnt like the tups etc, but i think she enjoys when they all repsond to her direction eg clap everyone..."

I think that Mady has some noticeable leadership qualities w/the tups, which Jon and Kate could really take advantage of, but instead they criticize her for being bossy and overbearing. Admittedly, Mady needs some help refining these skills - like not using physical aggression to get her way - but I think that all kids need this kind of guidance. However, instead of providing it, Jon and Kate choose to complain that Mady is not as nurturing as Cara is. I think Mady would do a wonderful job of leading a structured preschool activity w/the tups - IF she was given appropriate guidance. That's the big IF.

I think Mady's temperament presents quite a few challenges, but if an adult was willing to take the time to work with her, it would be a rewarding experience for everyone involved.

I can also understand if Mady is ambivalent about the cameras in her life. Sometimes I don't mind being around other people, but at other times I just want some "down time" to myself. It doesn't seem like Mady (or any of the Gosselin kids) get that opportunity too often.

jayley said...

Too many excellent posts to comment on, but to all in support of Mady-you're right on target.

"Do as I say, not as I do"- ...Wishing her parents were not Mensa rejects x10. It doesn't take a braniac to figure out that if you don't want your children to speak in negative terms, invade others personal physical boundries,scream,and act generally ill mannered, then maybe, just maybe you should do the same. Don't blame the children. Blame extremely poor rolemodels. When a childs needs are not being met, in a lot of cases it results in attention seeking behavior.

So happy to see others agree with me, Thank- You.

Viewer said...

Has anyone thought that even if this show didnt exist and there werent any camera's or tups that Mady would still express herself in the same manner? I think we are all OVER ANALYZING Madys personality? I like Mady and I am glad that Kate is getting shamed on television. Mady is who she is and that is all. P.S I love when she got her ears pierced...That smile that went from ear to ear was priceless.

UniStudent said...

zoey said...
When a mentally abused Elephant is put on show day after day then suddenly snaps... who is to blame.. the elephant? NO.
the Handler YES
The spectators YES.



Zoey this is the most brilliant post I've read in a long time. While the analogy seems extreme it really paints a vivd picture for me and sums up what I think a lot of people are trying to say here. Well done on your insightfulness.

Sue said...

"We are all OVER ANALYZING mady's personality....Mady is who she is and that is all."

We will never know how Mady would have been had she not been a character on her own reality show.

Serena said...

Has anyone thought that even if this show didnt exist and there werent any camera's or tups that Mady would still express herself in the same manner?

Whether or not the show existed, Mady would still have Kate for a mother. She would still be treating Kate the way Kate treats her. She would still be behaving the way she is being taught to behave. Just like any other child.

Harriet said...

The thing that comes to mind with people saying other children are treated worse, etc, etc, is that my cat is treated better than the Gosselin children and those other children who have it so bad. The point is that IMO all children should at least be treated as well as my cat.

Ms. Beetle said...

Me said...
lifeoriley I am not a fan of Kate in fact I cant stand her but what did you expect Kate to do with Alexis? Have a 2 minute discussion on why Alexis should stop teasing Collin? Kate had every right to do what she did at that moment. There are some things that adults can do that kids cant.

1/31/2009 4:13 PM
**************

1) She could have praised the boys for their good, respectful behavior, and in turn the girls would have wanted to be praised, too. The girls would have straightened right up.

2) She could have, without saying a word or missing a beat, taken Alexis gently by the arm and made her sit on her lap. ( But heavens, then she would block the camera's view of Kate and her hair and make-up job ).

3) If the kids were not going to be participating in the talking, they could have been given a piece of drawing paper and pen and asked to draw a picture while mommy talks.

Whoever gave them the big annoying, disruptive slinkys needs their head examined.

4) For God's sake, give Mady more praise during the moments she's being civil. Give the kid a compliment that everyone can hear. She'll learn she gets more of these when she behaves.

I need to add that Jon and Kate have both said that Alexis and Collin do not get along. Why sit them next to each other for an interview? That's asking for trouble right there.

And Mady needs to be on the far end of Kate, because Mady feels that sitting right next to her is free game...like the couch interviews. You will notice, the closer Mady sits to Kate, the more she pops off at the mouth. Just like her daddy does when he sits next to Kate.

Shops said...

This post just drives home how sad it is that the kids don't have Jodi and other banished family/friends in their lives anymore. I'm sure Mady really misses her compassionate, loving, calm aunt. I bet they all do. I think it's very important that kids have other people in their lives, besides their parents. That's the great thing about extended family, they are close enough to know you but removed enough that they can see you objectively.

All the trips, Juicy Juice, Gap and Gymboree clothes, mansion doesn't (and won't) do any of them any good when they aren't able to cope.

shelbysmom said...

How often do you hear a little girl claim to like her daddy more than her mommy? When asked if she was a good mom, Mady and Cara quietly only said "yes". Most kids would comment "she's the best" or "we have a good mommy".

Plus the way the little ones were acting especialy the girls was uncontrollable. How many interviews have they done now and they still act this way. Why do they keep giving them toys to play with? They only use them as weapons against each other. They are almost 5 and should be able to sit still for a short period of time. I'm sure they are quiet and still at preschool when they have been told to. They obviously have not had any discipline from either parent.

The duggars have just as many kids under the age of 8 and you never see them act out during live interviews.

carolyn said...

Did anyone happen to read the comments of the Early Show video. It's sad how people actually think Kate is a great mother. Also, on the you tube comments how they deserve such a big house and how they don't get paid for doing a reality show. Are you kidding me!! People need to open up there eyes and she this woman and Jon for who they really are. People making a buck of their kids, its sad really.

Free Mady said...

I agree that it is the fault of the parents that Mady is this way, but I'm still scared for the tups around her. Something BAD is going to happen! I agree also that Mady may be the only one who can derail the gravy train. They can't keep going on with an out of control kid like this. She is completely over the top now. Did you see how all the other kids snapped their heads her way when she yelled at Kate to stop being the boss of her? When parents pit children against each other and play favorites, this is what happens. I was always labeled 'the brat' and even though I'm 41 I'm still seen as the trouble making little child when I go home for visits. It's ridiculous. When you constantly label a child and criticize them over and over, they will become what the label is. There is no point for them in trying anything else when no one can see past their own assumptions about them.

Tangerine Tanya said...

I just watched a re-run of "A Day In The Life" I was so pleased to see Kate holding Mady in her arms,insert a love note in her lunch box and wait for her when she got off the bus and said "Hi baby"

ThreeFarmers said...

I agree that Mady's behavior is nothing but the child using the only coping skills she has in an effort to survive with some dignity.

You have to hand it to the child. She stands tall and holds her ground.

I always think back to episodes like the Good Housekeep photo shoot where Mady consistently tried to bond with any adult female who paid her any positive attention.

I honestly hope that Mady and Cara will develop the ability to find comfort in each other and not allow their family's turmoil to divide them.

I can seen Kate trying to play the twins against each other as they grow into teenagers. The old divide and conquer technique.

GrammyPie said...

I suppose Kate and "her eight" was a package interview, but she should have left Cara and Mady in school. I'm sure they would have been much happier there, than being dragged around for interviews. The twins are old enough to remember life without cameras. It is all the tups remember, yet they were not liking it either. When Kate urged Mady to say her name, she did it grudgingly, and Leah sat next to her with her arms crossed, looking very sullen.Hannah of course leapt up and told her name with a smile, and Cara quietly said hers. If any good can come out of these interviews, maybe it will at least keep the camera off the twins, especially Mady. This should be a lesson to Kate that she can't censor Mady, especially on live TV. It should also open her eyes to what she has helped create. She looked so disengaged from these children. Poor Mady is not going to get much one on one time with either parent. Cara loves sports, so she can pal around with Dad, otherwise she would be just as neglected. Kate did say Mady liked the spa, so make a day out for the two of you. J/K need to realize the damage they are doing and try to fix it fast.

irateb/cofkate said...

Serena said...

Has anyone thought that even if this show didnt exist and there werent any camera's or tups that Mady would still express herself in the same manner?

Whether or not the show existed, Mady would still have Kate for a mother. She would still be treating Kate the way Kate treats her. She would still be behaving the way she is being taught to behave. Just like any other child.
_____________
I think Kate has changed since the show started. Of course some of her qualities have always been present, but her ugliness has come out even more now that she's on TV each week. I really do think each of her children would behave differently had she continued to be a SAHM without the cameras. It's just really sad. We can talk about how their lives might have been but now the reality (no pun intended) is that they will most likely have years of confusion after the cameras leave.

dizzy_squishling_and_bean said...

Someone made a comment that the tups should be able to sit still for short periods of time.... How do we know how long they were sitting there, they did SEVERAL interviews. I'm betting they were sitting there for upwards of an hour and a half and that is a LONG time to a 4 year old.

I feel nothing but pity for Mady, she needs to be taken out of this situation. She needs some help, anger management at the very least IMO. She needs someone to really care about her as Mady and not just one of the 8, or half of a set of twins.

jettatonka said...

question: has anybody ever seen an episode in which it shows kate showing affection to cara or the two of them having any kind of bonding session at all?

i don't think i have ever seen this. i've seen kate hold Adian on her lap, once and hug joel..once. i've never seen her show any type of affection towards collin.

but cara? i barely even, EVER, see her have WITH cara. that just makes me so sad. i agree with most of the posters here..cara is the type that holds in all her emotions..her M.O is to be as invisible as she can; causing as little trouble as possible...which means never asking or fighting for the attention and love that she deserves from kate. and kate, being as exhausted as she always is (*eyeroll*) doesn't work to draw cara out and to actively show her that she's loved and wanted which is exactly what cara needs her to do; as her mother.

Tangerine Tanya said...

Mady does show love and affection to the tups. She defended Collin when his lovey was taken away from him(gumgate) and most recently during the interview when Kate grabbed at Alexis Mady reached down to comfort Alexis.

Tangerine Tanya said...

jettatonka I have seen Kate give Collin some smooches but he was very little at the time. It was when he was on the dressing table. As for showing Cara any physical affection I have not seen any display of that. I guess Kate's affection is reserved for Hannah. I personally feel sorry for Cara and I am worried about her.

Diane said...

I agree that it is the fault of the parents that Mady is this way, but I'm still scared for the tups around her. Something BAD is going to happen! I agree also that Mady may be the only one who can derail the gravy train. They can't keep going on with an out of control kid like this. She is completely over the top now. Did you see how all the other kids snapped their heads her way when she yelled at Kate to stop being the boss of her? When parents pit children against each other and play favorites, this is what happens. I was always labeled 'the brat' and even though I'm 41 I'm still seen as the trouble making little child when I go home for visits. It's ridiculous. When you constantly label a child and criticize them over and over, they will become what the label is. There is no point for them in trying anything else when no one can see past their own assumptions about them.

I couldn't agree more with your entire post. I think Mady is the one who could potentially stop this whole thing, however, after these latest 2 interviews I don't think we will ever see her miked up again in a situation like that.

Canadian Made said...

We wouldn't be having this discussion if Kate had done the right thing and conducted those interviews by herself and left the children at home/school. It appears that TLC & Figure 8 hustled Kate and the children out in front of any camera that would have them to shout at the public......"Look at us!, we're still America's favourite big family! pay no attention to that other woman with the 14 kids!!!"

MsPeabody said...

Me said...
lifeoriley I am not a fan of Kate in fact I cant stand her but what did you expect Kate to do with Alexis? Have a 2 minute discussion on why Alexis should stop teasing Collin? Kate had every right to do what she did at that moment. There are some things that adults can do that kids cant.

I would expect that Kate teach the children all along to keep their hands to themselves, I've seen her time and time again on the show not doing a thing about one child hitting another but now that Kate is in the middle of an interview, she finally stops and jerks the little one's arm, way too harshly IMO, and tells her to keep her hands to herself, that is ridiculous. Those kids are constantly being sent contradictory messages. And I disagree that Kate had a right to harshly jerk that little one's arm like that, I found it unnecessary. A tap on the shoulder and look from Kate discouraging that behavior should have been enough to stop the little girl from continuing on in that behavior.
Kate teaches the children to do as I say, not as I do, so your statement that there are somethings that adults can do that children can't, seems to me, to be Kate's parenting style to a tee. Kate is a bully, IMO.

Sue said...

"I really do think that each of her children would behave differently had she continued to be a SAHM without the cameras."

Yes, I think you hit the nail on the head. Just the act of being observed changes behavior. Add to that bright hot lights,crew constantly following you around with a camera in your face recording your most embarassing moments, and no opportunity for privacy, and you have a cocktail for disaster.
How could it not change everyone's behaviot? How could it not trigger a stress level that was already brewing to an explosive level?
The fact is, we simply can't know what their interaction would have been like before the cameras introduced an artificial, toxic atmosphere.

WS said...

I just watched a re-run of "A Day In The Life" I was so pleased to see Kate holding Mady in her arms,insert a love note in her lunch box and wait for her when she got off the bus and said "Hi baby"

I last saw "A Day In The Life" a year ago or more, probably, and certain scenes may very well have been re-edited. However, when I first saw the episode, I could not believe the numerous negative comments Kate made about Mady in the episode, especially in comparison to Cara. Cara "gets ready for school beautifully, Mady does not". Mady got mad when the tups used her jump rope w/o permission, but Cara willingly shared. Mady tried to help the tups clean up the basement, but instead of praising her, Kate took the opportunity to talk about how bossy and controlling Mady was.

I think Mady is a very insecure child, especially about her place in the Gosselin family. In "A Day at the Zoo", Kate said that Mady worried that the tups "didn't like her", and Kate IMO gleefully exploited Mady's fears and took the opportunity to explain on national TV that Mady didn't understand that the tups preferred Cara's "gentle approach". Yes, Cara has a more nurturing personality - but I have seen Mady engage the tups appropriately on multiple occasions. Cara may be gentler, but I think Mady is often more "fun-loving" and energetic w/them - and I think both Mady's and Cara's approaches have their place. Unfortunately, I don't think that Mady's parents appreciate her style and wish she was just like Cara - and perhaps that's why Mady's relationship w/the tups has deteriorated into physical aggression over the years. It's really sad, and I think that w/appropriate guidance, Mady could have a mutually rewarding relationship w/her younger siblings, but I worry that it won't happen.

lifeoriley said...

Me said --"what did you expect Kate to do...?"
I guess I really don't expect Kate to do anything other than what she did--past behavior is a good indication of future behavior.
Yes, adults can do things kids can't do--but there was no valid reason for Kate to so roughly grab Alexis--other posters have commented on ways to to discipline/communicate with Alexis when she was annoying Collin. Kate could've just removed Alexis from the situation--I'm sure there was some kind of "helper" off camera-- or she could've said, "Alexis Faith, come over here and sit with Mommy." Or--heaven forbid!--stopped and cancelled the rest of the interview(s) and put her children first.
As for expecting the little ones to be better behaved, well, I agree somewhat. However, they had to wake up very early to get ready for this press appearance. They had to put on their matching perfect outfits, do hair, get everybody clean and shiny--get in the van/luxury bus/limo, whatever, and drive at least an hour and a half to Philly. Then sit there nicely for lighting/hair/makeup (mom) until the interviews for three(?) shows were set up. Soo- I'm gonna cut the kids some slack.
Also, there was no reason for the children to be there at all, IMO. They could've just shown shots of the family while Kate was being interviewed.

Sherp said...

I am not remotely concerned about Msdy and Cara missing a day of school. Its not like they are in Law or Doctor school. They are in 2nd or 3rd grade. If missing a day is going to hurt their school progress, they should be held back a grade. Bringing the twins along for an interview is a bad idea as they can not behave themselves. Let them stay home cause they are a pain to everyone around them. See how quick they shape up if not given the limelight. I was appalled that Kate was so rough with Alexis and that was very unnecessary.
Kate is a low class gal.

TLC Suks said...

mady is just an angry little girl and if her parents don't figure out why.and.soon they are going to have bigger issues to deal with.

in the meantime to film a little girl when she is having a meltdown is incomprehensible.

Sue said...

It appears that Kate has created an even bigger problem for Mady. In the wake of the Access Hollywood interviews there have been "I Hate Mady" sites cropping up. It looks like their PR people have pulled the A/H interview off of the website after Billy Bush's comment,"That Mady has quite a mouth on her."
Can you imagine the teasing she is having to endure at school, not to mention church?

grandee4 said...

J/K have always said that Collin and Alexis do not get along. Why sit them next to each other. Hannie was acting up also, she got to sit on the couch with the twins and even got to say her name.
I am totally disgusted with this whole thing. The favoritism is just sooooo obvious. Hannie is starting to act out also, and gets away with it!

Jacsamic said...

We all are living what we have learned. That does not necessarily make it ok to practice negative life lessons openly.

Madys behavior, if left unchecked, will only escalate. The only one her behavior damages is herself.

Because I also am on the bandwagon where Kate is concerned I tended to go yea Mady when she so rudely and inappropiately spoke during the public interview(s).

I just hope there is someone in her life that will help her, love her, hold her close and teach her acceptable social skills.

Tangerine Tanya said...

A little off track here so pardon me but I was watching "A Day In The Life" and when Kate was helping Mady do her homework Mady asked Kate how to spell the word MAYBE and you could clearly hear her tell Mady....M...A...I....Then the camera's panned away to a different scene. Wasn't it Kate who had a major meltdown/hissy fit when the printers spelled the word proceeds? (rolls eye balls up)

mollybloom said...

What has happened to the "tradition" of each child having a special day alone with mommy and daddy (or just daddy if you're a boy child)? You'd think the producers would jump all over some variation of this for a second round (eight new episodes!). As staged as it was, at least Jon and Kate gave the appearance of caring and each child had some individual time. I suppose now Kate's too busy with her personal appearances and cosmetic procedures and John has a ski chalet to attend to. Perhaps, also, the kids were once young enough to believe the day was really about them and now yet another allusion is shattered so it isn't worth the time and trouble.

jeremy said...

I wonder if they have kept up that practice of going out alone with each one of their kids, or if that was only for T.V.

I'm going with the second choice...

WS said...

A little off track here so pardon me but I was watching "A Day In The Life" and when Kate was helping Mady do her homework Mady asked Kate how to spell the word MAYBE and you could clearly hear her tell Mady....M...A...I....Then the camera's panned away to a different scene. Wasn't it Kate who had a major meltdown/hissy fit when the printers spelled the word proceeds? (rolls eye balls up)

I think she was trying to tell Mady how to spell "Maisie/Maizie", as in the book "Daisy-Head Maizie", or something like that.

Ms.Peach said...

Why don't the loser grandparents speak out or get engaged with their grandchildren? Jon and Kate's explanations about why the grandparents are not involved don't pass the smell test.

GrammyPie said...

I agree Kate was helping her spell Maisy, and BTW Mady is left-handed Kate.

Chris said...

Mady does indeed have some serious problems. She is portrayed by her mother as the "evil twin". No child deserves this. Mady really does have some wonderful qualities that, when they shine through, are turned into a negatives by her supposedly loving mother. Tragically, I see Alexis becoming the "evil tup" in Kate's eyes.

timetogokon said...

Why don't the loser grandparents speak out ....

-------------------

I think the fact that NOBODY that knows KON has come out to defend them speaks volumes. I'm sure there is some sort of legal disclosure in place to prohibit people talking about the Gosselins, especially if that talk is negative. The only people that defend KON are the sheeple. The silence from loved ones is deafening.

Rebecca said...

I can't find the Access Hollywood clip. Has it been removed?

Hambone said...

Two questions.

Has anyone ever heard Jon or Kate say, "I love you Joel", "I love you Alexis". "I love you Collin", etc. ? They always make a generalized "We love our kids" statement in the interview chair, but I can't recall ever hearing them say it in their everyday camera life, just because they feel like saying it. The only exception I can think of is in the closet when Hannah said "I love you mommy" and Kate said, "Oh Hannie, I love you, too". But still, Hannah initiated it.

Another thing is, have you noticed in just about every interview that includes the kids, Kate makes some kind of statement, such as "We're melting down already", followed by a giggle or "It's loud", followed by a giggle. The kids hear this, and think that this is how they are suppose to be during interviews, because their mother acknowledges it every time and does nothing about it. The kids think interview = being loud and melting down.....because that's what mommy says....and on cue, they do it.

tmc said...

I'm wondering if Paul Peterson has seen these interviews. I'm curious as to what he would have to say.

Diane said...

I am not remotely concerned about Msdy and Cara missing a day of school. Its not like they are in Law or Doctor school. They are in 2nd or 3rd grade. If missing a day is going to hurt their school progress, they should be held back a grade. Bringing the twins along for an interview is a bad idea as they can not behave themselves.

I think the point is that these two little girls belong in school on a normal day with their friends living their own "real" life. Instead they are dragged along as props for an unecessary TV interview with their mother. There was no reason for them to be there and clearly they did NOT want to be there, which goes against Kate's previous comments to the effect of "as long as the kids still want to do it, we will do it". It is obvious to anyone with a brain that they do not. However, Kate sees what she wants to see.

I'm not a parent but I play one on tv said...

Like many other posters, I tend to agree that Mady's behavior must be dealt with. She's been allowed to act up way too long. That being said, I think that is the case with all the Gosselin kids. They are ill behaved children due to lack of parenting. They have never been taught to behave by their parents. There is nothing wrong with being firm (not abusive but firm) with children. They have to learn that there are consquences for bad behavior. Instead, KON just turn a blind eye to it. Then they complain because it's so noisey in their house or there is too much chaos etc... But they don't do anything about it.

As someone else mentioned, if these behaviors are not dealth with from an adult what will these kids be like when they are older? If they think that yelling, screaming and hitting is appropriate behavior they may end up worse off as adults.

What I'm trying to say is that J&K need to stop being b-lister celebrities and start being parents to their children. That is so much more important than Ann Taylor clothing and high end golf clubs.

Blame on Kate said...

Mady has two parents in theory. In theory all the kids have two parents. Jon is ineffective or he just isn't involved enough or evolved enough as an adult man to pull his weight and make sure these children are not mistreated emotionally because of his wife's mood and personality problems. He is choosing not to get involved because it is easier for him.

I think he was satisfied and loved his two girls and the twins felt loved and accepted and well taken care of before the tups were born. Not blaming the poor little tups, but blaming Kate almost entirely here for what has happened to her family. She and Jon were not equipped in any way, financially, emotionally, educationally, in ANY WAY to care for this many children. Kate wanted what she wanted and by God she got it.

I have no sympathy for either Kate or Jon. All my sympathy goes to these kids who, like Mady it seems, don't even know what hit em.

the other judy said...

Mady is definitely a high spirited child. She is passionate about everything she does. She is also very sensitive.
Her behavior *seems* to be a direct result of her lack of privacy and respect.
She is not a "drama queen" as Kate makes her out to be. She is spirited. She needs discipleship. Children follow by example. I pray Kate wakes up and realizes that with the cameras OFF, she could spend more one on one time with her children and give Mady the attention and love she deserves.

MB said...

I couldn't see the Access Hollywood clip either.

Its A Good Thing said...

Its a simple fact. Kids learn what they see. Mady acts no different than Kate does. We have all seen Kate have many-a-meltdowns, (the flight to Utah for example) And the most telling thing in that interview was when Mady said Alexis (I think thats which tup) deserved a spanking.

Not only Mady but all the children are crying out for help. I think Kate behaves much better on camera than off so Im fearful what those innocent children's lives are truly like.

Sherp said...

Yes, I have heard Jon say "I love you" to different children, particularly Joel, over the course of this TV show. I really enjoy the kids. I am an RN with two Master degrees so hardly fall under the "low information sheeple" title and have worked forty five years in the Emergency Department which makes me just about as cynical as can be and enjoy the show. Coming from a culture where folk can sure disagree without calling names, I still think the twins should be left out of interviews due to their bad behavior.

Its A Good Thing said...

Sherp: I think all the kids should be left out of interviews and also left out of filming. But then Kate would be nothing and nobody would want her either. Which would mean she would have to give up her newly acquired lavish lifestyle and actually have to work.

Where is Common Sense? said...

In the New House episode, everyone comes in the door and Kate says "take your shoes off and run!" Then later, in the basement she says "run as fast as you can!"

Let's not teach good, safe, indoor behavior. Let's get them all riled up for the sake of the cameras.

They should have taken an orderly tour of the home as a group with the parents leading the way and talking about how life was going to be in the new house and addressing safety issues, such as running on the stairs.

Brenda said...

Growing up I had a similar situation like Mady and Cara, except my sister had Mady's personality, AND Cara's nails! OMG my sister was a tazmanian devil. A lot of her problems came because I was a tomboy and my sis was girlie, and my dad only could relate to kids if he could talk or play sports with them. That sounds like Jon. Here Mady says on TV she likes her daddy better, but who does daddy like better? Obviously Cara, because she goes skiing and rollerblading and likes baseball etc. I think, if it's like my sister, Mady might be competing with Kate for daddy's love, which Cara doesn't have to because she gets daddy's love by being a jock.

gameover said...

Sherp said...
I am not remotely concerned about Msdy and Cara missing a day of school. Its not like they are in Law or Doctor school. They are in 2nd or 3rd grade. If missing a day is going to hurt their school progress, they should be held back a grade
***************************

A DAY of school? Sure, missing a day of school is no biggie but how many days have they missed due to the show? What about when they are truly sick and need to stay home? Don't think this is the only day of school they've missed.
Also, doctor school????

beachluvin said...

Why did they pull the Access Hollywood video? I have a feeling it is because of Billy Bush saying "Mady has quite a mouth on her". The Gosselin exploitation team probably used that in their favor to have the video pulled. I think they lucked out on this one but this is just a preview of what we are going to be seeing of Mady.

mollybloom said...

Under penalty of severeness, Mollybloom apologizes for earlier having written "allusion" when she meant "illusion."

Fay said...

I would love to see Mady and Cara do an interview without the Boss sitting beside them telling them how to act and behave.I think we could get a lot us insight to the family dynamic, good for Mady speak up and be heard,I think she has a lot to say and is needing someone to listen.Cara says nothing just looks defeated and sad,I feel for them bolth as it must be hard to be pushed aside and not validated for who you are,but what you are,in this case your part of the familys meal ticket.

momof1plus1plus2 said...

Mady is acting out in the only way she can. She is screaming to be heard. Kate and Jon however, can only hear the sound of money. Maybe if she threw quarters at them instead she would finally get some attention from them?

Cara is screaming on the inside. I think she is just as much at risk as Mady is. Sometimes the ones that hold everything in end up in a worse place than those who act out their emotions.

I'd like to just reach through my tv and give them both a hug and tell them that everything is going to be all right.

Emma's Mom said...

Mady's truth shall set her free!!! When old enough, she will run, not walk, from her controlling, overbearing, perfectionist mother. Kate is using her new found money to buy perfection, but money cannot raise children (oh wait) "two sets of multiples". These children are in trouble. KON are failing miserably, but they'll look good doing it. Has Kate become anorexic??????

Hambone said...

Sherp said...
Yes, I have heard Jon say "I love you" to different children, particularly Joel, over the course of this TV show.


************

Can you tell me which episodes? Because I have been watching them all and haven't heard it. I've seen the made-for-tv cuddling with Joel, but I didn't hear "I love you, Joel". Saying it on the couch to a producer doesn't count.

Perhaps you can tell me which episodes he says this?

Aunt Julie said...

I am starting to think the camera's are so much part of there lives that the children don't know what is alright to say in front of the camera and what isn't. The more "bratty' they behave the more of a rise they get.
They watch and see Kate "act out" against them and there father on the couch. Mady is smart enough to try er limits and hope it makes the cutting room floor and if it doesn't at least she get some personal attention.
Cara on the other hand looks like she wants to disappear. I have never seen such a chronicly depressed child. I would love to gift her with childhood.

Roscoe said...

Of all the kids, Mady is the one I worry about the most. Even when the show finally comes to an end, the fallout will still be there for Mady to deal with. Someone here mentioned an "I hate Mady" page on Facebook and I've seen a compliation on UTube where they completely trash her. That stuff NEVER goes away. Just imagine the first time she Googles herself. Hope she has a friend or one of her siblings nearby to help get her through it.

Not in a million years would I put a child of mine in the position to be ridiculed and torn apart like that. There isn't enough money in the world. But then again, I don't mind working for a living, so what do I know.

Roscoe said...

Perhaps you can tell me which episodes he says this?

Hambone - I don't remember the actual episode, but I do remember Jon saying it to one of the boys as he tucked him in. I also recall him saying "Love you Buddy" to the different boys, although I couldn't tell you the exact episodes.

havasubums said...

Does anyone know Kate's background? Her childhood and why she no longer see's her parents. If I've missed it here I'm sorry.

Em said...

Dr Phil says that the most important role model in a child's life is their same sex parent. Kate is hardly a positive role model for Mady.

From what i've seen of the show and interviews, Mady and Cara do not appear to be very happy children.

Maybe it is in Mady's nature to be very full-on, but it doesn't look as though she receives positive attention for positive behaviour, nor many boundaries.

pinkdiamond611 said...

As a teacher I have to respond to the poster who thought it not a big deal if the twins missed a day or two of school.
What message is this sending to the children? That your education is not as important as the family job. On top of this, third grade students which I believe Mady and Cara are, are expected to pass state ELA and Math exams. It is a big deal. And, most likely against PA law as it is in NY for parents to keep students out of school for any reason besides illness or religious holiday.

errr..... said...

Fay said,

Cara says nothing just looks defeated and sad --
-------------------------

I think Cara takes after Jon.

Whereas Mady takes after her Mommie! Big mouth, lousy attitude.

Sherp said...

Well Pink, the purpose of education is to get a good job. These folks already have a very high paying job that takes about six hours a week. None of them, no matter their education will ever make as much money again as they are on the "family show". Besides, Jon and Kate don't show a lot of brains or class and I doublt they passed on "big brains" to these kids. Just my opinion.

shmedelle said...

Umm, ya, in my opinion, missing a day of school is a big deal. Parents should not give their children the idea that taking a day off is no big deal. Or, that, not having a job, is no big deal.

Recently, my 3 year old had to be in the hospital for two weeks, two different children's hospitals, testing, to see if she would be a candidate for epilepsy surgery. I made arrangements for my sixth grader to get to school everyday. Stocked up on frozen pizzas for my husband to'cook' while I was away, the rest of the meals were non- organic McDonalds, and Burger King. (I guess I just don't measure up to supermom Kate). My son had to miss one basketball practice. But, we made sure he made it to the game, because even though it would have been easier, under the circumstances, to blow off a game, we knew that the team depended on all the players being there.


A person will never make it to law school, or med school, if they are brought up to believe that it is ok to miss a day, unless they are really sick.

You don't need the most expensive car seat to keep your kids safe. Car seats are regulated, the cheaper ones are just as safe.

Taking each kid out for one-on-one time never bcame a "tradition" for the Kon game because the novelty wore off for her. She has moved on to bigger and more better things.

In the 4th of July epi, where the children walked holding a rope with rings, they were paraded in front of thousands of gawking eyes because, according to Kate, "if you had one 3 year old, you wouldn't put them in a stroller, you would just walk". Oh really? I'd put them in a stroller, especially if my husband had insisted upon it.

In the t.v. studio, why did she have those kids lined-up, like the pawns they are, in their expensive, hot, sweaters. I wondered, why are they so far away from her thrown? If she had only one, wouldn't that child sit on her lap?

Sherp said...

Roscoe - One time Joel was standing up in his chair when they were all at the dinner table. Joel aid to Jon "I am your son." Jon said "Yes you are and I love you". On other occassions, I too, have heard and read the Closed Caption where Jon says "Love you Buddy."

Tangerine Tanya said...

Hambone,Sorry I dont remember what show it was on but Joel told Jon "Your my daddy" and Jon said "Yes your my son and I love you"....Well something like that but there was the word love mentioned and a hug/smooch from Jon to Joel. I have seen Jon also kiss Aaiden and Collin. I just wish that Jon would stand up more to Kate when it comes to the kids.

Exhausted said...

This didn't go through before...

Poor girl. The hardest thing for us to realize is that our parents are not perfect, but it's usually in our teens or our twenties when we figure this out. Mady has figured out at eight that her parents are lying phonies. They say one thing and do another, and their filming behavior (as pathetic as it may be) is still not representative of how much they are actually around. Mady knows all of this, and she wants to scream at the frustration. She wants Kate's approval still, but this is a misapplication of anyone's energy as Kate will never be truly happy or satisfied with another human being.

The notion that Mady's life is "cake" is silly. I would rather live in a one-room shack with nice parents who loved and encouraged me than to suffer the physical and mental abuse that Mady and her siblings endure. Instead of finding comfort in the camaraderie that comes from having a large family, Kate and Jon have caused rivalries and resentment between the children so they are unable to bond.

I think we will very soon see this empire explode or implode. Not only was Kate put upon, lethargic and glib during this interview, she could not control the children for all the money in the world. She harshly grabbed Alexis, and the eyes she made were horrifying to most viewers. She is sick of her own children, and she cannot hold this charade together. But that doesn't mean the kids will have a happy ending. No one will remove them from their two awful parents, and we've seen that Jon and Kate's self-awareness and desire to be better people is non-existent.

Some pressing questions that come from these two clips (Thanks, Serena, for posting them here): Where the heck was Jon? How can anyone say these kids aren't working? That is, how many of us had to be dressed up, had to sit still, and had to suffer through round after round of interviews while still having to look cutesy and happy when we were children? And lastly, why the heck does no journalist ever corner these people and ask them some hard-hitting questions? I would guess that their PR people monitor these things very tightly, but still...

Poor children.

Exhausted said...

irateb/cofkate said...
I think Kate has changed since the show started.
-------

My wife points out that on the Surviving Twins and Sextuplets initial episode, you can see an immediate change in Kate when she leaves the Martha Stewart Show. She came into that show a more-normal person and left the show with stars in her eyes. She was never a nice, easygoing person to begin with, but since that moment she has gradually passed off all her mother duties, gradually gotten self-important with a dangerous ego and agenda, and gradually lost all touch with why she wanted kids in the first place. Where will she go from here?

Auntie Anne said...

When children are most unloveable, they need your love the most.

When the family was in Hawaii, I was saddened when I saw how delighted Mady was for the attention she received when she was learning how to hula. That child just shined. Love and attention can go a long way.

Madeline said...

While I can understand the given reasons for Mady's behaviour (i.e. homelife and the show) I am not sure if this is caused or just made worse by their conditions. I do feel using this as an excuse or, even worse, supporting and cheering this behaviour on. Whatever the reason or cause, Mady's behaviour needs to be changed because the way she acts will not benifit her in life.

Sidney said...

I work as a transcriptionist at a mental health clinic. I write what the psychiatrist records about the sessions he has with his patients.

I was so moved when a young man told the doctor that some of his happiest memories were living with his father in a tent by a river because they were homeless. His father had illegally taken this son from the mother and fled with him.

This young man truly loved his father and found that living a homless life, on the run from his mother and the law, were some of his fondest memories, because he was with his father who loved him dearly and he loved his father dearly.

Love can save lives.

Madeline said...

I just realized how my message ended up. I meant to say excusing or cheering her behaviour on is not helpful at all.

irateb/cofkate said...

It breaks my heart to know that in 10 years or less Mady will be surfing the net and one of her hate sites will come up. As if growing up on television was not enough. The repercussions of this show will forever hang like a dark cloud over those children. :(

Linda said...

You know, I'm looking forward to Mady writing the next 'Mommy Dearest' book, when she's an adult. Go away Kate!

Sheri said...

When I first started watching J&K+8 I will admit that I wasn't much of a fan of Mady because her attitude made me angry, but having watched the newer episodes, that girl is clearly acting out for all her parents have put her through. I don't blame her at all having seen all the terrible things mostly Kate says about her, and how much comparison there always is to Cara. It is like a struggle for them to think of anything nice to say about Mady.

If Kate really does give them the option to "opt out" of filming, I believe Mady would have opted out well over a year ago. The forced photo shoots and TLC promo, along with all the interviews seem to be to much for her. Has anyone seen the ad that pops up at the bottom of TLC shows where the kids are sitting on chairs and they are all waving? If you notice Mady she is sulking with her head down in her hands. She's clearly checked out of the entire thing, and I think in order to salvage any of her childhood and reverse her behavior, they have got to let her just be a kid now, out of the spotlight. They have got to stop talking about her, mocking her, degrading her and comparing her.

I can't even imagine the issues she is going to have as she gets older. Her attitude and acting out now is only going to get worse with time, and she has absolutely no one around to correct it.

Hopefully after seeing her behavior during the interviews last week Kate will realize just how much she is damaging her kids and let them stop with the show. Otherwise I think she should be prepared for the 'tups to develop the same bad attitudes.

alana said...

MollyBloom said

Only the older, reflective Mady will be able to tell if her life was indeed a piece of cake...

And at this point, she can CHOOSE to CHANGE it.
IMO, Mady is a smart and strong girl. As she gets older, Kate's behavior will have less and less of an influence on her. By the time Mady leaves home Kate will not be able to influence her at all, IF that is what Mady CHOOSES.

For the rest of her life, Mady is the person who will decide what and whom she values. She will be happy or unhappy, successful or unsuccessful, based on the CHOICES she makes from that time on and not what Kate did or didn't do NOW.

Fortunately, in the grand scheme of things, childhood is relatively short.I think it is criminal when a childhood is 'trashed' by an adult, especially a parent or parents. But we all grow up and (hopefully!) leave home to begin a life that WE make the choices and decisions about.

I am HOPEFUL for Mady's future happiness. Maybe even because of, but certainly inspite of Kate's behavior, IMO, Mady will have a wonderful life.

IF, however, Mady is miserable and angry and 'fails' at life, no one should BLAME Kate. When she reaches adulthood and is no longer beholden to Kate, the responsibility for Mady's happiness, Mady's success, rests squarely on the shoulders of MADY.

Serena said...

IF, however, Mady is miserable and angry and 'fails' at life, no one should BLAME Kate. When she reaches adulthood and is no longer beholden to Kate, the responsibility for Mady's happiness, Mady's success, rests squarely on the shoulders of MADY.

I agree with the concept that we end up as happy in life as we decide to be. However I don't think that absolves Kate of responsibility for Mady's future.

Kate is damaging Mady's spirit in hundreds of little ways,, which will hobble Mady and give her a great burden to overcome if she is to emerge from her effed up childhood with some semblence of good mental health.

Not everyone is born with the same degree of resiliency, thus not everyone is equally equipped to just shed the legacy of their childhood and be a competent architect of the rest of their life.

It would be like if Kate were feeding Mady horrible junk food at every meal... yes, Mady could then go on to make good choices and only eat healthy foods for the rest of her life, but part of her ability to overcome the abuse to her body would depend upon the good genes she was born with.

I think a good analogy is if you look at some people who live into their 90s and 100s, and you ask them how they lived... some will say they ate healthy all their lives, never smoked or drank, etc. Others, equally long-lived, will say they smoked and drank and ate like crap but survived anyway.

Not everyone is born with the same inherent strengths and I think it is the parents' responsiblity to give their child every best possible start in life so that they aren't handicapped when they get a start on their adult life. Kate is essentially breaking Mady's bones all the time and we can only hope that those bones are strong enough to completely heal so she doesn't end up crippled and struggling for the rest of her life.

AnneMarie said...

Just a slim note about missing school. There is a tiny possibility that there was no school that day of THAT interview, as that was the day the snow and ice started chewing on the mid-atlantic area. Even DC didn't have school, and that was only 2 inches of snow.

That said, do I think they miss school when the opportunity to make $ of the 8 arises? Yup. Without all 8, the dog and pony show KON put on for the cameras that morning wouldn't have been as crazy....so in her eyes driving the point home on how chaotic or exhausting having 8 around is.

Do I think they've missed school in the past? Yup.

Will in the future? Yup.

On the whole, I think KON would rather they be in school, as it is less exhausting work for her. She's got 5 days a week now to herself for most of the day.

You Go Girl said...

Mady will be the one who grows up and has fire in her to do something about child exploitation. She will be the female Paul Petersen.

BGR said...

I agree with all of the reasonable and caring comments made here about Mady especially Serena's. The pity of it is that this poor little girl's trials are being played out and preserved on television rather than in the privacy of her home.

Jen K said...

It's funny...Mady is a little spirited at times, but that girl is clearly highly intelligent!

I had a similar dynamic in my household as a child. In my case, it was my dad and not my mom who ruled with an arbitrary iron fist. There was very little respect shown to us kids (and by respect I don't mean spoiling and letting us do whatever we wanted) but just respecting our opinions, dreams, letting us speak freely about things.

As a result, I was the one who used to call him out on the B.S. and I was a sassy girl. It was the only defense that I personally had against a dad who was, and there's no other way to put this, cruel at times.

So I feel for Mady because I think she is likely acting out of a sense of "justice" and wanting to get bits of truth out there while she has a platform (i.e. live interview, camera in front of her). She knows she has very little power as a kid at home, but out in public she can drop hints. She's much smarter than most people (including her parents) give her credit for and I applaud that.

I'm not saying that kids can't act out just for the sake of acting out (without some deep seated need to "out" the truth) but since we have become privy to her personality and day to day life due to their crazy, seemingly constant exposure of Mady and her life, I think it's likely that she is doing this on purpose and with a goal.

Add me to Team Mady! :)

Jen K said...

Just wanted to add that once you have grown up with these experiences as Mady will have, you will always have a finely-tuned BS Meter, which serves you the rest of your life! :)

That is one of the unintended "gifts" of growing up this way and the one bright side to all of it. Another "gift" is a feeling of empathy that I think we have seen in her, especially when defending Colin and the bear. Her protectiveness of her siblings will be a gift that they will all enjoy as they grow up and have sibling relationships as adults.

So there is a bright side,, it's just that there's a lot of crap to deal with on the way there. :)

irateb/cofkate said...

I saw a youtube clip from an interview where Mady said she wanted to have her own Disney show when she grows up. Maybe this little girl is smarter than we all think and is just practicing her acting skills! I would love to think so.

CAmom said...

Mady and her siblings have the misfortune of being "parented" (I use the term loosely) by the ultimate stage parents whose exploitation of their children knows no limits. Jon and Kate have sacrificed their children's childhoods for the almighty buck and 15 minutes of fame. Mady and Cara have endured four years of cameras poking into every aspect of their lives. They are both miserable and have clearly had enough. Mady's interview behavior is her way of letting America know "I'm done with this. I'm not going to play along anymore." Without the co-operation of the kids there is no show and Mady knows it. I predict we'll be seeing a lot less of the twins in the near future because I don't think J and K want viewers to see a pair of 8-year-olds being dragged kicking and screaming before the cameras.

ROFL said...

Linda said,

You know, I'm looking forward to Mady writing the next 'Mommy Dearest' book, when she's an adult. Go away Kate!
**********************************
I hate to read so I'll be waiting for the movie. Who do you think they'll get to play Kate? lol

Cathy said...

Thank you for posting this! I've always thought Mady got an incredibly bad rap, and is often used as a scapegoat by Jon and Kate (I'm not sure why Jon is so often left off the hook-if he's a doormat to Kate, its only because he allows it). She also strikes me as an incredibly bright child, who is acting out due to anger and frustration.

She actually reminds me of myself as a child. My parents divorced when I was quite young, and my father went on to marry a woman who was very controlling and was not happy he had kids. When I was with my mother or at school, I was a quiet, respectful and obedient kid. But when visiting my father's house, I became, for lack of a better term, a "brat". Looking back it's obvious that I was angry and hurt at how my brother and I were treated there, so I acted out. Seems like Mady is doing the same exact thing.

Jolanda said...

To Mady Gosselin:

If you ever get to read this when you're older, please, please, don't take it to heart on how almost everyone dislikes you. You were a child who didn't exactly know how to behave because of the lack of directions from an appropriate adult/grown-up. To me, you're a fine young and intelligent lady.

To the readers:

If you watch the show, with the exception of Cara, almost all the kids will hit each other when they're angry no matter how much of a fact that they're not toddlers anymore. Jon and Kate need to wake up and see that. I wonder why the TLC production people have never brought it up to Jon and Kate.

Jennifer said...

I agree with Serena's assessment and wanted to say how much I can empathize with Mady. I grew up with a self-absorbed (likely borderline narcissistic) mother who had very little idea of how to be a parent and an often-absent father who was prone to wild mood swings. My needs were routinely subjugated in favor of their whims, and they often embarrassed me in public and showed very little understanding of my feelings (just as an example, once, when I was about 10-11 years old, they tried to force me to change from my street clothes into a bathing suit in the middle of a theme park with hundreds of people around me).

Later, when I was away at college, they just appeared in the lobby of my dorm one night and phoned me, expecting me to come down to greet them immediately (I had had no idea they were planning on dropping by). I was irritated at the lack of respect accorded me and my time, and once downstairs, I snapped at my mother that she could have called me beforehand to let me know they were coming.

As they were leaving, my mother smugly told me that the security guard who had been sitting at the front desk when I came down had said to her that if his daughter had the nerve to talk to him like that, she'd be in real trouble. I was seething--the nerve of him to judge my situation without knowing the facts. I'd like to see how he would have handled growing up with my parents! He labeled me a brat without understanding one bit the story behind my behavior.

All this is to say that I support 100% the concept of respect being earned rather than a birthright. My parents never did anything to merit my respect; therefore, I did not respect them.

I don't see anything "wrong" with Mady's behavior. When asked a direct question, she responds honestly. When her mother tries to control her, she refuses to be controlled, trying to maintain some semblance of personal boundaries (undoubtedly mostly obliterated by now by the constant filming without being given a choice in the matter).

I admire Mady. Despite Kate's attempts to ingrain questionable ethics in the kids (we've seen her outright encourage Cara to lie in an episode; besides that, every other word out of her own mouth is a lie, which the kids must pick up on, as evidence by the fact that the 4-yr-olds are *already* routinely telling lies), Mady holds steadfast to her principles.

She's clearly very bright, and although I don't think she'll emerge from this debacle completely unscathed, I do think her strong will and independent mind will hep her turn out all right.

ThreeFarmers said...

Jolanda said:

To Mady Gosselin:

If you ever get to read this when you're older, please, please, don't take it to heart on how almost everyone dislikes you. You were a child who didn't exactly know how to behave because of the lack of directions from an appropriate adult/grown-up. To me, you're a fine young and intelligent lady.


Actually, I don't believe that "most people" don't like Mady. I, for one, am a full-on Mady fan and I have ready post by many, many other GWOP readers who feel the same way. In fact, I would go as far to say that the MAJORITY of the people on his board have no dislike for that little girl.

Mady is extremely smart and sensitive and I think most of us will agree that she is being raised by parents who just "don't know how to help" her.

Beagles 4 said...

Although I don't condone children speaking to their parents the way Mady did, I can say, in this case, way to go Mady. Since Kate is not really a parent, in my opinion, she doesn't deserve respect from her children. After all, respect is something that has to be earned, and yes, even by a parent. I see so much pain in the faces of the twins. It breaks my heart. All I can say is at least I know where Jon's balls are--Mady has them. This girl will stand up to the bitch mother of hers. Can't wait until teen rebellion sets in.

Kate, you deserve to be spoken down to and treated poorly by your children. You did teach them this, didn't you? You also used them by exploitation to get yourself in the public eye. Now the world revolves around you, and you only. Too bad you are the only one who thinks this.

I loved the look on Kate's face when it was announced that the octuplets' mother already had 6 kids. All I could read from her expression was, oh no, there goes my gravy train.

SaveTheTwins said...

Jennifer - Thank you. I was "a Mady" too, and I agree with every word. It always surprises me how many people in these twins-centric discussions have similar stories. Add me to the list of people who think Mady will be okay in the long run - that little girl has a steel core. I actively worry about Cara, because she seems so defeated. Can you imagine being Cara & Mady, witnessing your parents cut off numerous family members and friends for confusing, nebulous reasons like "they didn't know how to help us"? It is no wonder Cara is depressed and Mady is angry - they are old enough to wonder if they're next on the list.

mama23 said...

Kate reminds me of my Mother In Law. My husband is Hannah (the favored one) and his sister is Mady (the spirited - I'm not playing your games child). They have both been in counseling and have battled depression. They are both very bright, successful and sociable people. It hit both of them when they had their own children. Believe me, all of those children will remember the 'do not step foot in my room' speech. It will hit them when they have their own children and they will realize that that's not normal to say to your own child.

My husband says he never felt unconditional love until we met. These children will not be okay - many children grow up in homes with two parents, food on the table, nice clothes etc. but still end up very scarred from a basic lack of respect from their parents.

Adult Hannah will feel guilty for playing the game and being favored. Good thing it's all caught on tape so it can be re-lived over and over again.

The cameras and fame make someone like Kate much worse. The appearance of a close family is more important than actually having a close family. Did anyone else notice the look on Kate's face when the host said she was going to ask the children if Kate is a good mom? It was stern and her eyes were very focused on Mady - she looked terrified at not knowing what would come out of Mady's mouth.

Yes, Mady is very intelligent and strong and that will serve her well, but believe me when I say that I've seen it happen with the best of the best. Nobody is immune to rejection from a parent.

The Anaya Family said...

Just so everyone knows, the CBS link has been disabled.

Education1 said...

While I agree with many of the comments made, I also believe that Mady's behavior - especially toward the sextuplets - has been reinforced, even encouraged, by Kate. On a number of episodes we've seen Kate applaud Mady's bossiness and controlling nature. She's even come right out and said that she sees nothing wrong with Mady being intentionally mean to the little kids, justifying it by saying that Mady likes to be "rough". These are indeed learned behaviors - if Mady had a role model who was nurturing and affectionate instead of sarcastic and critical, she might be not be exhibiting horrible behavior herself. I turn this show on occasionally because frankly, the little ones are adorable. I'd be happier to learn that TLC has finally decided to put an end to Kate's power-hungry publicity gravy train.

AunTee said...

Jolanda said,

To Mady Gosselin:

If you ever get to read this when you're older, please, please, don't take it to heart on how almost everyone dislikes you. You were a child who didn't exactly know how to behave because of the lack of directions from an appropriate adult/grown-up. To me, you're a fine young and intelligent lady.

*Mady if your still reading give your Aunt Jodi a call. I think she'd really love to hear from you.*

Lexie said...

I agree that Mady will have some issues to get through later in life and I hope she will make it out okay in the end. I think that the fact she caught on to her mother's awful behavior so early in life may actually serve her well. Now that she knows what the problem is, she can start working on getting past it.

I also wonder how she will handle all the criticism and hatred she has recieved from viewers of the show (especially all the "I Hate Mady Gosselin" sites). I think reality TV in general is a pretty horrible concept, but villainizing real children for the sake of entertainment is beyond disgusting and beyond weird. Anyone remember Kid Nation? The villain of the show, Taylor, (who was ten years old btw) was given probably the WORST edit of any reality TV character ever with nothing close to any redeming qualities. I remember reading message boards that said things about how much they hated her and what a horrible excuse for a human being she was and that she would never amount to anything and always be a shallow, selfish, awful person. I read an interview of Taylor and her parents recently that talked about how she is still teased at school for her Kid Nation persona. I can only imagine what it is like for Mady since her show is still on the air, has DVDs out and plays re-runs constantly. Anyway, those reality TV show producers may want to think about what they are doing and ask themselves if what they are doing is really entertainment.

Lisa said...

It can all be summed up thus:

Kate: You reap what you sow!

STFU Kon said...

Ugh! Kid Nation was awful!

machinegunsmom said...

Birth order has always had a lot to do with how a child behaves or how they choose to deal with the situations they're dealt. Older children seem to be the "trouble-makers" and rebels, the ones who realize very quickly that their parents don't know everything and can only do so much to stop them, and ultimately fare better than middle and youngest children in the longrun. While middle/youngest children don't seem as disturbed as oldest children during childhood, they usually end up needing the therapy when they become adults, maybe because they don't learn coping behaviors when they're young. Obviously there really aren't "middle children" in the Gosselin family (unless you count Jon & Kate as the oldest children), but my guess is that while Mady is suffering the most now (and Cara, though we don't see it as much), she will come out the strongest when all is said and done, and it's the tups who will need the therapy.

machinegunsmom said...

I just read Moons in Leo's post about the Facebook groups and I think I'm going to cry--it's actually against Facebook rules to have groups like that that attack one particular person, I know because I considered making an I Hate Pete Ricketts group (a Nebraska politician), then decided against it because I didn't want to lose my account.

No matter what you think of Mady Gosselin, she's still an 8-year-old little girl and I can't believe that people are actually using the word "hate." That's a strong word and I'm guessing that none of them know her personally.

Moons in Leo--not that you're personally responsible or anything but did you happen to report any of this?

Moons in Leo said...

Machinegunmom, I am new to facebook. Just joined last week. I don't know all the rules and regs yet.

If that is the case that those types of 'clubs' are not permitted I will certainly complain about it.

If I can figure out how to do that, of course.

Moons in Leo said...

AnneMarie said...
Just a slim note about missing school. There is a tiny possibility that there was no school that day of THAT interview, as that was the day the snow and ice started chewing on the mid-atlantic area. Even DC didn't have school, and that was only 2 inches of snow.

If there wasn't any school because of hazardous road conditions due to inclement weather that day, why was everyone put at risk by traveling to Philadelphia?

Moons in Leo said...

Update: There were two hate Mady Facebook groups that I reported. Another one was not vicious and I couldn't find a reason to report it.

What's Up With That? said...

There's something seriously wrong when an almost-5-year-old, and an 8-year-old cannot still for a few minutes. The interview didn't last that long, yet almost all the kids were in "meltdowns".

I don't understand "meltdowns" for kids over the age of 2. Meltdowns are for toddlers.

BGR said...

What's up with that?, you are just taking into account the few minutes of the interview. I have no direct experience but I expect that their day probably started early, entailed travelling time, preparation time, arrangements, etc. so, all in all, it is probably quite an ordeal for children. They may have just about had it with hearing their parents talk ad nauseum about how hard it is to have multiples. They have been there, done it, seen the movie and it has to be getting pretty tiresome for small children.

STFU Kon said...

But Kate still has meltdowns and she's in her thirties. Lol.

ColetteNicole said...

I haven't watched the show in quite awhile but happened to catch a moment in passing recently that broke my heart a little. The family was with some sort of animal handler and she had a little animal with her. She asked if anyone knew what type of animal it was and Mady immediately answered "Sugarglider". I was impressed and proud for her, that's not a common animal. The sad part was when she looked at her mother for some sort of encouragement or praise and got NOTHING! Kate just stared straight ahead, with her sunglasses on and a big old miserable puss on. I was appalled! All she needed to say was "Good job, Mady." and she couldn't bring herself to do it. Disgusting!

Beagles 4 said...

I watched the CNN clip. I also noticed Mady’s body language toward her mother. Kate grabbed her arm when she threw her toy up in the air. Mady pulled away and wiped her arm where Kate grabbed her. I also noticed she hid behind her siblings.

How can Kate put these kids through her regimented television interviews? How can she expect 8 little ones to sit as still as rocks while she gets to be the focal point of the media attention? I think it is bad enough that these kids’ lives are being exploited and every move they make being viewed by the public. Kate also has to drag them all over the country for interviews so she can look like the perfect mother.

The whole thing sickens me. Kate claims to have routine and structure in her childrens’ lives. I see no routine when they are attending interviews, being filmed, and traveling everywhere constantly. I can’t see when they have time to attend school or do other family activities. They seem to have no friends, which they really need.

Children need love from their parents. They need the structure and routine of the daily activities of school, friends, family activities, bedtime stories, hugs and kisses, and private time with each other and family and individual time with their parents. This family has none of that.

Mady is in a situation where not only is she not getting attention, but is getting negative comments, etc from her parents, especially Kate. She also has to compete with her twin, although normal in twins, but not in the comparisons her parents make with her and Cara. She has 6 siblings who are a huge reason why attention she once got now has to be divided up amongst 8. These sextuplets are also the reason for the show, initially.

I feel so bad for Mady as she tries to struggle in the prison of her home. She has absolutely no privacy and nothing she can call her own. Cara bottles everything inside, but is obviously suffering too. The tups may look alright now because they are so young, but in a couple years there will be 6 more starving for the love of their parents and the lack of privacy issues.

Kate, in her selfish greed can’t see this. She thinks everything she is doing is for the kids. I can’t believe she watches episodes of their show and doesn’t see her behavior. Is she that wrapped up in herself that she doesn’t notice or doesn’t care to notice? I can’t believe that someone could be so self-absorbed that they could miss this destruction of family. Jon, although seems to spend more quality time with his kids, isn’t any better. Are both of them that blind? I am appalled at the whole situation. It’s one thing to exploit these kids, but for Kate to belittle Jon so she can be the main object of devotion in the show and to neglect her children is thoroughly disgusting. How can family services or any other organization not see this as a form of child abuse? No one should have to report them when it is aired every week on tv.

As a mother myself, I couldn’t imagine doing this to my child. She is 8 years old and her opinion matters. If I do something to upset her, I apologize. We have a very close relationship. Money is tight in our household, but I could never subject her to any of the things that the Gosselins do to their children. Enough is enough.

I commend Mady for taking a stand. Someone has to set Kate straight. Hopefully one of her children will open her eyes to stop this madness. I also think that Kate has issues with Mady because she can’t control her. Mady has a mind of her own and that drives Kate crazy. She will find that one day she has no control over anyone in that household.

For a so called religious woman, one day she will have to answer to God for all of this. I do hope that she can beg her children for forgiveness for what she has done to them. I do hope God blesses all these kids and they have a light at the end of the tunnel someday. I am sure they will all make wonderful parents. They will be so loving to their children to make up for what they never got. I know this from my own experience of a childhood where I felt I wasn’t loved to how much love I give my daughter.

Mady, if you ever read this site, I wish you all the best. I know there is a big heart inside that little body.

natasha said...

Add me to the list of people who were "a Mady" when younger. I've commented negatively about Mady's behavior before, and I think it's because I know firsthand the consequences of acting out that way--being labeled a brat, everyone automatically expecting a tantrum rather than calm behavior, difficulty socializing and getting along because most people just don't enjoy being around someone that volatile. I would so hate to see that be Mady's future.

She is a beautiful little girl who deserves to be treated well by her parents.

Denise said...

When children are most unlovable, they need your love the most.

I think truer words have never been spoken when it comes to Mady. In my opinion this poor child only wants to be loved for who she is, an intelligent, sassy, although somewhat over the top little girl. Unfortunately for Mady, her mother only wants a pretty doll to showoff to the world. When Mady can't conform to that ideal, her mother berates her in front of a camera for all the world to see.

I'm not surprised Mady acts out, she's got a lot of pressure on her little 8 year old shoulders. And after viewing the new house episode on youtube the other day and seeing what they felt they could show (Maddy kicking a younger sibling) then hearing her tell her mother a younger sibling "needed a spanking" I'm sure there's even more going on in that house that we don't see.

Now add to that the fact that her schoolmates have seen her have meltdowns, have her mother berate her, and just general childhood being up for all to see and I can only imagine how much that poor child is taunted at school. Children can be cruel to each other. I'm sure being a reality TV star doesn't exclude you from being picked on.

We can only pray that sometime in the near future the whole family is able to get some much needed help with their many issues.

Zoey said...

In each of the recent interviews that Kate and the kids did, Mady was always sitting next to Kate. I guess Kate felt Mady needed to be close enough to "get to" in a hurry.

Damage Control said...

The Anaya Family said...
Just so everyone knows, the CBS link has been disabled.

-------
It's still available-I just had to see Kate's shock at Octuplets +6 news.
Here's link:
http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=4764337n%3fsource=search_video

Kath n Kim Rocks said...

Kate Gosselin is on the same level as stage parents who dress their kids up and carry them to auditions in search of fame and fortune. I believe several former child stars have had a lot to say about this sort of exploitation of children. Where , on earth, have we gone, when children are expected to provide for parents and not the other way around?

machinegunsmom said...

It's very...very sad to look at the huge chasm between the effort Jon and Kate used to make to ensure that the older two girls felt special and the complete lack of interest and patience that Kate now has for the twins, namely Mady. They re-ran the episode this morning where the girls turned 6 and got to have a special party at American Girl Place in New York. As someone who had American Girls long before they started building "places," that would be a dream come true for me. She also only let the twins out of the Jeeps when they were in North Carolina to witness the beached jellyfish with her. They each had their "special day," and Kate often spoke about how they let the girls do little things like sit at their own table at restaurants if they want to. They took them out to dinner for their 7th birthday and let them make all of the small decisions like who sat where, and made a big production of baking a surprise cake and decorating the place. All I can say is that the new episodes are taking place in the fall, it seems, and M & C's birthday is in October (correct?)...I really hope that in the midst of all of this moving and traveling and interviewing and glomming on to the OctoMom, that they remember to take time out and make the twins' ninth birthday a special occasion--certainly anything would be more special than the tups' 4th birthday cupcake nightmare.

MsPeabody said...

Ms.Peach said...
Why don't the loser grandparents speak out or get engaged with their grandchildren? Jon and Kate's explanations about why the grandparents are not involved don't pass the smell test.


I hear you on this! No one is going to come between my grandchildren and myself. They need grandparents in their lives, it is so very important and IMO worth fighting for. I had to fight tooth and nail to be in my grand daughters life because her parents aren't together and early on my grand daughter was used as a pawn but I fought for her, protected her and was a voice for her, in spite of all that was going on in the parents lives.
The Gosselin children need a voice as well, I trully hope their grandparents are being that and fighting for their right to be involved in their lives, maybe we just don't hear about it.

thecloserfan said...

Count me in the Pro Mady Gosselin Club. Not much else to add accept that I personally am glad that Mady and Cara are sharing a bedroom. These two little girls need to bond together if they're ever going to get through the Gosselin debacle.

Cara and Mady need to reach out to exiled family members like Uncle Kevin, Aunt Jodi, the grandparents and Beth. I'm sure they can't contact the twins due to contract and legal issues.

TLC, cancel J&K+8 and let the Gosselin eight have their lives back.

elizabeth said...
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elizabeth said...
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Kat_momof3 said...

The simple fact is that Mady acts the way she acts because her parents don't know how to deal with her.

She's a total artistic and sensitive soul.... she expresses as deeply as she feels, and she feels everything on an intimate and personal level.

When she gets in a huff and storms off, instead of the parent at whom she has gotten frustrated with going away with her into a room or into a corner of the same room (or just with their backs turned to the babies when they were just babies), depending on if there is another adult there or not, pulling her into their arms, first reassuring, soothing, and calming this poor child so that she knows that it is okay to feel how she feels, that she is loved and treasured, and getting to the bottom of how she feels so that she can be taught how to more properly deal with it (unless she truly needs time to cool down by herself first... it's all dependent on the individual here... but when the child is ready)

Instead, all they do is pile on more yelling.

I have one of these darling souls at home and he has his moments still, I assure you, as I'm not perfect, either.

But when he gets to that point as Mady unfortunately goes far past because her parents just haven't taken the time to learn about this incredibly gifted and special child to know how to bring out the best in her, I know that sometimes he needs 10-15 minutes to let out his bad mood and come back a different person... so we can just cuddle and talk about it. I know that yelling is the worst thing I could do, so if I start, I need to give us both a time out and come back to it later.

I definitely have a child who is like Cara, too... my oldest. He is quiet and brooding, doesn't like public affection, has told me since he turned 8 (he is 9 now) that he is too old to be kissed. Still, I've made a point to find ways to help him (because he has aspergers and so has more trouble than Cara would at finding words to express his emotions, he has talk therapy to aid in this) tell me the way he feels and what is at the root of it.

I've learned that letting an argument escalate to yelling and forcing him to do things instead of taking the longer and less emotionally draining way of simply standing my ground, yet also reassuring that we will do it in a positive way proves not only to give him that freedom of being totally honest and talking about it, but also to make him feel more comfortable with me.

I look at Cara and I see the stress in her face from the yelling and the belittling that Kate does. I truly believe if she treated the twins as people, not just as siblings to her babies, they would be much better for it.