Episode Recap: 10/06 GH Photo Shoot

Go away, camera!

Sorry, Joelly, but that didn’t happen last week and it’s not going to work for you this week, either, as the Gosselins do double duty working a photo shoot for the cover and a feature article in the November issue of Good Housekeeping magazine and providing footage for the latest episode of Jon & Kate + 8.

In fact, so I don’t inadvertently promote the magazine, and because Halloween, my favorite holiday, is just around the corner, I’m going to refer to the magazine as Ghouled Housefreaking magazine. After all, Kate is on that cover and I can’t think anything more ghoulish than that. In fact, for Halloween, I’m going to find a keg sized vat of hair gel, grease up my legs, and walk down the street bitching at my husband in her honor.

Unfortunately, it’s not Halloween yet. It’s not even fall when the Ghouled Housefreaking caravan of exploitive madness pulls up to the Gosselin home. (I guess that sign in the yard doesn’t apply to them.) In fact it’s still summer, when all of this goes down. It’s so much summer, that the temperature is hovering around 95 degrees. The crews set up tents, cameras, and stations for wardrobe, hair, and makeup. They also decorate the deck and hang a few wreaths on the walls to get rid of that sanitarium look of which Kate is so fond.

Kate informs the hair lady that she needs styled but that she has already applied an Exxon Valdez dose of hair gel to her Foghorn Leghorn hair do.

The kids LOVE this stuff. They love wearing a shirt under a long-sleeved sweater outside in 95-degree heat. That ROCKS. They even get to hold pumpkins and a couple of stuffed toys while they stand there unable to move or wipe the sweat from their damp, slightly heat stroke-ish, little brows.

Jon and Kate hit the couch to tell us that the cover will be great (over) exposure for the show and will be good for their family. How is standing outside in 95-degree heat good for anyone? Jon comments that they have never had a professional photo shoot before. I guess they had all those publicity photos that we’ve seen all over the place done by chimpanzees -- amateur chimpanzees at that.

Much to J & K’s chagrin, the Ghouled Housefreaking crew was large. Too large, in fact, for the mere 2000 sq. ft. first floor of their jammed house. Huh? The average American house isn’t 2000 square feet all together, let alone on a single floor. That figure doesn’t include the Gosselin’s finished basement. I think Jon is suffering from square footage envy. They’ll need a 8000 sq. ft. North Carolina estate to cure that.

Kate is worried about the memories the children will have of seeing Jon in make-up. One of the kids is heard saying “Daddy is a girl”. Apparently they are less concerned with memories the children have of their mother belittling their father. My mind hearkens back to a show where Jon and Kate were going out to dinner and Jon asks Kate if she needs anything ironed. While Jon is doing the ironing, Kate is in the kitchen screaming while she belittles his manhood because he isn’t helping her in the kitchen. Ah, it’s all about the MEMORIES isn’t it.

They pile onto the deck and Jon & Kate begin to complain that the photographer's strobe wasn’t working. Um, that strobe isn’t the only thing not working in your house. Kate holds Hannah, the favored child, while the others stand or sit around them. The highlight of Collin’s day is when he gets to say “busted” because, according to Kate, the puppets weren’t funny.

Mady, the voice of truth and honesty in this family, declares that she doesn’t care if she’s a super star. She was done. Unfortunately, Jon & Kate learn that Cara looked like someone told her she had to get her mother’s haircut because she didn’t crack a smile during the entire shoot. The kids LOVE photo shoots. It’s FUN for them.

Lunch, naps, then they get to do it all over again, in air conditioning this time.

One of the production people plays the piano with Mady. Why is it that Mady gets so attached to any adult female who pays her any positive attention? Hmmmm, I wonder what relationship is lacking in that child’s life?

The next day, they get up early and climb into the ginormous bus/limo thing that comes to pick them up for day two of this job. Yes, it is a job for those children. If there is any doubt about that after this episode, then there is something very wrong in the minds of those who think this isn’t work for these children.

Today’s photo shoot is much more comfortable because the temperature is 65 degrees. Kate requested that the temperature be 65 degrees. Did you hear that? KATE WANTS THE TEMPERATURE TO BE 65 DEGREES! Voila! It is so!

Upon arrival, the kids are immediately bribed to behave with Luna bars. This will also meet all their female nutritional needs and ensure that they understand that they only have to behave when they are given a treat.

The kids go around hugging everyone because they apparently think film crews are the same as trusted friends and family. Again, Mady finds a female crew member with which to bond. Jon thinks the most important thing is that the kids bond with the strangers. Yes, you want your kids to bond with strangers. Kate seems to be a bit concerned about it, which is the smartest thing I’ve heard her say in two years.

Everyone has to be skinny to fit on the cover. The whole family crams into this little space with a couple of small risers. Mady refuses to smile -- bless her little non-conformist heart. Kate says the kids were nervous because of the people holding them on the risers. Of course, the kids don’t know what it is to be nervous, right, Kate? This is FUN. The kids LOVE this stuff.

As a surprise, the crew brings out a dog to stop the meltdown of several of the children. It’s unknown whether the family is keeping the dog, which looks like a little Dandie Dinmont, but that’s just a guess on my part. The pup was cute and playful and I’m sure if it stays with the Gosselins, like a leach, Kate will suck the spirit right out of it.

Apparently, the kids were done working before their job was complete so the crew broke for lunch. As a reward (which is our new word for freebie) the children got these great little backpack/lunchbox things with a yummy lunch inside so that blood sugars won’t drop any lower than necessary. Of course, a paycheck is what these children should have gotten, but their parents will take care of that. We hope.

After their meal, it was back to work and that didn’t go well. (Isn’t this FUN, kids?) The kids were tired. They had spent two days in uncomfortable clothing under lights that were too bright and too hot with no guarantee of compensation.

Another, much funnier puppet lady comes out to save the day and the photographer was able to get the shot. They all dance to Footloose, the song about a bunch of rebelling young people growing up in a secluded and oppressive environment. Perfect. Everyone danced and had fun because fun looks better to the cameras than a bunch of kids doing two days of sweaty work. Kate dances with Hannah, of course. Jon dances with Leah and the rest just grab onto any adult who has time for them. The boys, however, still looked miserable, as if they’d never seen dancing before in their lives.

If you didn’t want to read the recap and decided to just jump to the last paragraph, here’s a summary. Hair was gelled, pictures were taken, children were miserable. At the end, everyone pretended to be happy. (Just like the last couple of episodes where J & K spent the end telling us how fab their marriage is.) They show us the finished Ghouled Housefreaking cover complete with appropriate airbrushing. Gosh, happiness sure is hard work.

Submitted by ThreeFarmers

Kate talks about KMart and layaway

This appeared in various markets across the country, here's one from Minnesota....


http://www.showcaseminnesota.com/show/client_article.aspx?storyid=526163

Added video link: http://www.wkyc.com/video/default.aspx?aid=72646

Please use this thread for discussion about the promo spot.

"Stunted Emotions"

On Sunday, October 5, the following comment by Carolyn Hax appeared in The Washington Post. The comment was made in response to a letter from a grandmother who was being kept out of her grandchildren's lives. The grandmother complained that her daughter-in-law was practically going out of her way to keep her out of their lives. Hax gave her ideas on what she could do to react to the situation. Although the letter was specifically about a grandmother, the response can be applied to any loving person in a child's life. She prefaced her response with the following:

"Controlling people are dangerous, especially to children, because they block the flow of normal information to their victims -- which then gives the victims a distorted emotional view. To oversimplify it: Mommy limits her kids' exposure to love from other sources, so they become dependent on Mommy, so they grow up uniquely ill-equipped to view Mommy objectively, so they enter the world (as friends, colleagues, spouses, parents) not only stunted but unable to recognize how stunted they are and why. Thanks Ma."