Episode Recap - "Babies and Bedrooms, Part 2" - 11/26/2007

There's no "on this episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8!" Maybe because this was part two of a two part episode. Or maybe my tivo cut it off. I hate when it does that, especially when it cuts off the last 20 seconds of The Office, which is usually some of the funniest stuff.

The credits on this show are really cute, honestly. I just love when the twins spin around like little ice skaters. If I just watched the credits I would like this family.

A graphic tells us it's Saturday morning. The twins are still so excited that they're renovating the attic into their new room. They're still adorable. On the couch, Kate also starts explaining how they're renovating the attic and--"Jon, stop scratching!!!"

Apparently Jon had an itch on his calf and it really bothered Kate that he felt the need to scratch it. Understandable, that would bother anyone.

Anyway, they're renovating the attic! It's been coming along for a few months and now they're ready to paint. We're introduced to Jeff, the kids' uncle and Kate's oldest sister Kendra's husband.

Oddly enough, we've never seen Kendra, nor will we. Or heard about her up until now. Wonder where she lives. And I wonder if she has kids and if they see the Gosselin kids. Normally I wouldn't wonder about this stuff, but since this family is so very mysterious about other extended family members, except for maybe Aunt Jodi, it's always kind of interesting when actual flesh and blood relation shows up every two dozen or so episodes. But anyway, Uncle Jeff seems normal enough. And it was nice of him to give up his weekend to help with this project.

Jeff says his family tries to help out the Gosselins when they can. That's good. Family should help family, before calling little old church ladies and camera-loving McMansion-living housewives, for sure. Wonder if the Gosselins help Jeff's family ever. Well, see, the Gosselins have a very hectic life, Jeff points out. They certainly do, between the show and speaking schedule and appearances on Ellen to pick up their free bikes and all.

Seems like if Uncle Jeff were helping out Jon, Aunt Kendra should be downstairs having a good visit with Kate and lending a hand with the kids. But she's not. Okay. But it makes me wonder, I can't help it.

Kate is in the garage with the kids, by herself. She just hates and dreads weekends where Jon has to do projects all day. She wants his help with the kids. In fact, she wants his help "twenty-four/seven." Because an entire day with her kids I guess feels like seven days to Kate. She really looks forward to spending time with her kids it seems.

Okay, I know Kate meant "I want his help all the time," but I wish Jon had corrected Kate when she said that, since she corrects his misspoken comments all the time. They don't show Jon on camera, but I suspect he's probably just kinda sitting there looking half baked, as usual. And probably scratching himself, too. How dare he.

The kids are kind of out of control. Yikes, Mady is threatening to throw a book not just at Alexis but at Alexis' "head", Joel is crashing his little toy tricycle into Collin's car and pissing him off, a couple of them are screaming, and so on. And Kate? Well, she's over on her knees by the shoe rack, pretty much ignoring all this and deciding now would be a good time to sort through shoes. Priorities.

Upstairs, where things are much calmer and quieter, Jon and Jeff are painting the ceiling a really feminine, bright pink. It's actually not that bad. I would call it sort of a Princess pink. It's appropriate for the twins since they're both so girly. Of course I think they're so girly because of their parents and their strict ideas about gender, but I like the color. The men are glad to not be downstairs. Can't blame 'em. Jon laughingly says that Kate can't paint since she's not patient enough. I would have put money on her not painting because it would exhaust her too much, but I'll take his word for it.

Back in the garage, more screaming. Oh God, now Joel is bawling for Daddy. I guess it just dawned on him Jon is gonna be up there all day. And that he'll have to spend the entire day with his mother Imelda Marcos over there. All twenty-four/seven of it. Imelda puts him in time out and orders him to suck it up, demonstrating just how patient she isn't.

Jon hits the nail on the head when he says that Kate tries to control the children too much, and that she should just let them be kids. And a collective, "Amen, brother" is heard round the world.

Cara checks in with Jon and Jeff in her bare feet. And Kate is suddenly upstairs now yelling at Jon about drywall dust throughout the house. Who is watching the kids? Aren't they still outside in the driveway? Kate notices Cara is barefoot and is furious. Kate is absolutely right, the children should not be barefoot in a room with stripped carpeting and tools everywhere and loose nails and staples and who knows what else. I hope their tetanus shots are up to date. But again I ask, who is watching the little kids right now? I really hope they are not still outside in the driveway. I wonder if Joel is still in time out for missing his father and if anyone remembered to release him.

It suddenly becomes clear Kate is not concerned about Cara getting hurt, but in the drywall dust Cara is tracking through the house. Oh, well. I guess Kate must have told her before not to be barefoot up there because she firmly tells her that she disobeyed and she can't go up there anymore. God, now Cara's gonna have to hang out with Kate twenty-four/seven today too. But I'm glad Kate's being tough on Cara the perfect twin. Normally Cara would get away with shit like this. And in fact, Cara seems a little shell shocked she isn't getting away with it. Ha-ha, got ya, Cara! Of course Mady would have been in the guillotine hours ago if she had pulled something similar. But Mady must be off somewhere else, not disobeying and not being praised for her good behavior, as usual.

Now it looks like they may be renegotiating this, of course, of course, because it's Cara who gets away with this shit all the time! Jon suggests that maybe Cara could stay up there and help. Kate orders him to stick with her on this, united we stand! I think she may just have read an article or two on parenting in Ladies Home Journal or something. Maybe on a long flight to a speaking engagement. Now suddenly Kate's argument to Cara is that the paint fumes aren't good for her, not that she disobeyed. Cara starts crying and whining, which is so completely unattractive.

And finally, Kate announces the real reason she needs Cara out of that room. "Those kids cannot be out there alone!" So the little kids WERE outside alone while Kate was up there barking orders about drywall dust. Wow. That wasn't irresponsible or lazy or downright reckless at all. And I wonder how much she is paying Cara to babysit six three-year-olds on her day off from first grade. I hope at least ten bucks an hour. She can put it in her non-existent college fund. In case you're wondering if Mady is watching the kids, she's not. Kate says she's standing right there in the hall.

Kate berates Jon a little more for good measure, then in closing SLAMS the door behind her, in much the same manner her children tend to throw balloons and costumes and stomp around and such.

Jeff is a really good sport about all this drama, that frankly was really rude to do in front of him, family or not. He good-naturedly says, "I think the rules now are leave your shoes here, take your socks off, have a Haz-mat shower, and then proceed through the house." Heh!

You can tell it's not that Jeff's trying to make fun of Kate in a vindictive way or undermine her, he's just trying to lighten the mood. Although lots of people have tried to lighten the mood around Kate over the years, and as far as I know none have succeeded.

Jon pipes up, "Don't forget the eyewash!" Hey, that was funny, too. Jon is fun to be with when you get him around some good guy friends. Except he gets to hang out with guy friends pretty much … never. I think he only got to hang out with Jeff that day because they told Kate they were doing a project.

Jon and Kate like the color of the paint, and say the girls do, too. Although normally I don't believe Kate when she decides for herself how the kids feel, I think she's probably right about this.

Coming up, more whining. I'm looking forward to it. Commercials.

We're back. Jon and Jeff are still painting. It's so wonderfully quiet up there and echoey and nice. I'm glad the twins' room will be up there somewhat away from all the chaos of the rest of the house.

Kate is outside with the kids, absolutely slouched in a chair with an incredibly sour scowl on her face as the kids happily run through the sprinkler in their diapers. She kind of looks like your local Mall Santa Claus when his shift is about to be over waiting for the last few brats to sit on his lap so he can go hit his cigarettes and whiskey flask. Clearly, Kate doesn't seem to be enjoying watching her kids have a great time on a warm day. In a shocking turn of events, she decides she can't handle the kids twenty-four/seven after all, and calls Carla's daughter Ashley to come over and parent so she can lounge and scowl without interruption. I hope to God Ashley is getting paid for this shit. The nice thing is seven-year-olds Mady and Cara I assume got relieved of their babysitting duties and can enjoy their Saturday now without six three-year-olds underfoot. Mady and Cara, punch out. Ashley, punch in.

Kate laments how absolutely exhausted she is and how much she has to do. I'm confused, isn't this her normal routine? Watch the kids around the house and such? She says she just couldn't do it without Jon. What time is it anyway, like 10:00 a.m.? For Christ sake, we haven't even had lunch yet.

Kate alludes to how often Ashley comes over to help in very vague terms. Like "every once in awhile" which could be every few weeks, two or three times a week, four or five times a week. It's anyone's guess. I add her to my list of nannies/babysitters/strangers raising these kids and move on.

Oh, Lord, Ashley is talking about how much she loves playing with the kids and what a privilege it is to come over and how exciting. It kind of sounds like she's not getting paid. This family is really quite skilled at spinning things around to make it seem like they are doing the helpers a favor by permitting them to assist them. Even Ashley makes it sound kind of fun, like it would be a fun way to spend my Saturday, too. I mean, Ashley should really be paying THEM this is so fun. Yeah, I can see how easily people can be manipulated into this crap.

Kate is STILL talking about how exhausted she is. I heard you the first time, shrew. Seriously, I think she has a disorder. She is seriously ridiculous.

It's lunchtime finally, and the kids are whining and screaming that they want lemonade and banging their cups on the table. Good grief, this is such wildly inappropriate and unacceptable behavior. But I think Kate is too exhausted to correct it maybe. And Ashley's just a teenager and no Supernanny, so she's not stepping up to correct them either, nor should she be expected to with their mother right there. I think the kids should have milk with lunch, not water and sugar, but I digress.

Kate is making the kids hummus and pita with an onion, tomato and parsley salad that looks really good. The kids love it apparently, which is great they're open to stuff like that. And Kate doesn't say anything about it being organic to make what looks like a really great salad all irritating and pretentious. Good job. Cara, not Mady, ruins the nice meal by whining and crying because she wants Leah's pita. Is this kid serious? Corner, girlfriend! Now! Only she doesn't get sent to the corner. Everyone sort of puts up with her.

Mady is still behaving herself and being really great today. Unlike whiney crying Cara, she politely asks if she can go upstairs and see Daddy, but Kate tells her no she's eating. Mady relents without whining or arguing. No one is giving that child positive reinforcement, of course. I guess Kate didn't get to that paragraph in her parenting article.

In other news, Kate wants a medal for bringing the hard-working painters up breakfast and lunch. A gold one would be good. She had to climb an entire flight of stairs carrying a tray. Twice. No wonder she is exhausted. Jon is kind of like sure, sure, whatever you say. He isn't saying much on the couch today. He looks and probably very well is half baked, as I suspected before.

Kate and Jon repeat themselves once again about the room and everything in case we still don't understand the difficult concept that they're renovating the attic for the twins and painting it pink. Yawn, zoning out, wait, what?! Cara is back up there! What happened to united we stand? I really, really hate that Cara somehow, someway, always gets away with shit like this. And I feel bad for Mady because I'm sure she knows full well she doesn't have the mad manipulation skills that the chosen twin Cara does. Or that her mother can't stand her. Or both. Where is Mady by the way? She's the one who asked nicely if she could go up. And somehow Cara ended up there instead.

Coming up, even more yelling and screaming!

Back at Ch√Ęteau Exhaustion, it's a week later, and Mady and Cara's room is all finished. Everything is pink and there's a nice reading corner and a big closet the girls call their "secret hideout." The girls love it. Jon says they want to keep it a safe haven for them. I assume he means they can get away from the cameras once in awhile. Or maybe he means from Kate. I'm not sure.

Kate doesn't miss a chance to insinuate once again their two-story, frankly middle to upper-middle class house, a bunch of kids living there or not, isn't adequate, by remarking how they "need space." Well, I hope she is saving up her Juicy Juice checks for a down payment then.

Kate calls all these renovations a big headache and she's dreading it, meanwhile juxtaposed against Jon doing all the work of unpacking the sextuplet's new beds. I really love the editors of this show sometimes. I think they know exactly what's up.

Jon starts to put together the bunk beds they bought for the little kids last episode. The kids are in the room sort of in the way, but Jon is just getting the work done and not letting it bother him too much. I find Hannah annoying. I can't help it.

Kate laments once again how she just hates when Jon's time is occupied with projects like this. Then she tries to be funny, by saying, "Jon: Can't live with him. Can't live without him." It's not funny at all. Well, the only thing that is funny is the fact that she thinks it's funny. Because although Jon is certainly not faultless in this whole situation, he has truly been working hard on this renovation project and putting up with a lot. And I don't recall Kate ever thanking him or so much as showing a little appreciation for all he does. In fact the only thing she wanted was for him to kiss her feet for bringing him food while he worked. I think that's a pretty fair deal, Jon does all the projects and Kate tosses him a few scraps of nourishment now and again so he doesn't collapse. But that's just me. I'm not sure who Kate thought was going to put the beds together for them, since they did buy them in about ten different pieces. But for some reason it really bothers her when Jon works his butt off doing things that need to be done.

Incidentally, Jon pleads the Fifth on Kate's mean comment. Which is probably the best thing you can do when Kate berates and belittles all your hard work.

The kids seem to think the ladder to the top bunk is a weapon. "That's my weapon!" somebody says. With these kids, I don't doubt it.

Now the kids are all into the Styrofoam packaging, and Jon hates that. He hates Styrofoam laying about like Kate hates a table full of pumpkin seeds. We all have our vices.

Kate says she prefers Jon to put together the furniture because he's careful about it. It's one of the few sincere, kind things she's said about him throughout this whole project. She appreciates his work on the furniture at least, which is something. But Jon seems a bit too stoned to realize she's complimenting him.

After all that, Kate berates Jon for pushing the ladder against the wall and causing a mark. Jon doesn't plead the Fifth this time, he pleads Not Guilty. But Kate for some reason is positive Jon did it, even though there are six little kids running all amuck right there getting into everything. I'm surprised Kate didn't blame Joel or Collin or Mady for something like this. But at least she is blaming someone of the male persuasion.

Jon puts together the beds and Cara helps, getting some nice one-on-one time with her Daddy doing something her gender shouldn't stereotypically do.

Jon is still strung out about the Styrofoam. He's acting just like Kate on this issue, which is weird. He works a bit, then vacuums, works a bit, then vacuums. It's all so efficient. Kate of course fully approves of all this. If she were smart, whenever Jon complains about her obsessions, she should remind him about the Styrofoam. Remember how you feel about Styrofoam? That's how I feel about pumpkin seeds, grass stains, scratching, bad grammar, life in general. But I don't think she's very smart.

Jon is still in the middle of putting together the beds when Kate barges in and announces he needs to leave the room so the kids can nap. Jon has a momentum going, so I totally don't blame him about being asked to stop in the middle of a big project. Sometimes half the battle is just starting something, so he knows he's going to have to muster up a whole bunch more energy to start this all up again. I would just want to finish too. He suggests the kids nap in the basement. I say, some of them sleep down there anyway, so what's the problem? I think Kate thought he meant she should just have them play in the basement, because her counter argument is that they always get their naps. Right Kate, Jon knows that. He just wants the naps to occur somewhere else. But Kate actually claps her hands in his face for emphasis as she insists they must get their naps and they must get them right where he is working.

The music gets all depressing as they continue to fight about this. And then Kate does what both of these parents do all the time, she takes it out on the kids. She tells the children, "If anyone touches these boxes they will kill you!"

Yikes! Kill you? Geezus, Kate, they're three. Was that necessary? Now they're going to have nightmares during their naptime, I suspect. Nightmares about boxes.

Commercials. We're back, and in case we forgot how dangerous boxes are, we get a repeat of, "If anyone touches these boxes they will kill you!" Then she tells the children Jon is being super unsafe. Which is kinda the opposite of what she was yelling at Jon before about uniting together in front of the children and not undermining each other. Way to take your own advice, shrew!

Kate reveals the real reason the children need to take a nap, because Mommy needs a break. Even Jon says they don't go to sleep anyway so this is so pointless, kind of confirming it. I mean, at least Kate is honest. She tries to tell Jon he would want the same thing if he watched the children all day. But I kind of suspect he wouldn't. Because I get the feeling he actually enjoys being with the kids and doesn't stress himself out so much by sorting shoes and lounging in a chair that he burns out mid-afternoon and needs a two or three hour break from them. At least he seems to enjoy them more than she does. On the couch, Kate asks Jon point blank if he were in her shoes would he want to skip the nap? Then she immediately answers for Jon, "No." Jon doesn't really say much one way or the other. Because like anything, no answer will be acceptable to Kate, so might as well just let her say and think whatever.

It's bedtime, and they're putting the kids to bed. The kids love the new beds. Yes, I think that certainly is a moment to remember. I wonder why Kate didn't take pictures? She took pictures of their first poops. Not their first beds? Sweet little Leah with her bitty voice likes to be told she's never going to grow up and will be little forever. Don't worry, Peter Pan, your mom won't let you anyways!

For the third time this episode Kate tells us how exhausted she is. Well, but they got their naps, Kate! You won on that issue! I'd hate to see her if she hadn't gotten her break. Has she been tested for mono? I heard exhaustion is a hallmark symptom. She's got a tattoo on her ankle. Evidence of wilder, less exhausted days? I can't really tell what it is, but I'm going to go ahead and assume right now it's something really stupid and cheesy.

Jon is the one who normally gets the kids bathed and ready for bed, Kate even tells us so, and it's no different tonight. I guess his routine--clap--doesn't change--clap--for anything either--clap clap!!! So I take it Kate didn't say, "Honey, you put together beds all day and must be so tired, let me bathe them tonight."

Aww, Kate calls Collin "Piggly Wiggly." I remember that store from my days back East.

Kate has thought out who should sleep where based upon the personalities she has decided each child has from day one. For instance the "leaders" get the big beds. The lesser children she doesn't care for that much get the trundles on the floor. But to me I don't give a crap who sleeps where or the reasons why. I don't think it's all that important as long as everyone has their spot.

As if their long nap and early bedtime weren't enough, Kate announces they are sleeping in and the kids shouldn't get up in the morning until breakfast. Not even to watch cartoons? That stinks. But the kids are kinda like, okay. I think they're afraid of her. Really afraid. I honestly do.

Kate tells us once again she didn't think they would ever finish this project. They might very well not have, what with all the interruptions for nap time. But alas they finished. They again say everyone is happy. Let's hope so. But they remind us they do indeed plan to move, as soon as those donors can get their act together.

Reprinted with permission from Dew.