They Will Miss Out on So Much

It really bothers me that Kate doesn't understand children or child development in any way. If she is a nurse, surely there were courses given that taught about these things. She has no appreciation for childhood, for the kind of things children enjoy doing, or the way they do things. It is very sad for her children, because they will miss out on so much.

They will miss out on seeing their creations appreciated AS THEY MADE THEM, just because they made them. They will miss out on having Mom say. "Oh it's beautiful, I love it!" or "Oh _____________, I love it, especially because you made it for me." They will miss out on getting paint on themselves, and hearing mom say, "don't worry, it will come out in the wash." They will miss out on making mud pies, rolling in the mud, trudging on the rocks in the middle of a creek and missing the next rock and mom, laughing at their wet, muddy shoe and foot. They will miss out on knowing that mom will always support you and your interests with positive words of encouragement, no matter how unfinished the bowl or how off tune the melody.

Instead, they will be urged towards surface perfection, perfectly matched clothes from the "right" stores, a grown-up's version of their vision, a need to always stay clean and neat and never get dirty. They will be pushed to play with approved toys that are correct for their gender, and feel embarassed if they are a boy, riding a girl's bike or a girl riding a boy's bike. They will never feel accepted and loved unconditionally for the person they are or are becoming, instead the only acceptance will come if they meet their mother's approval, which is based on that ideal of surface perfection and her own self-interest.

The more I watch this show, the more sorry I feel for those kids. Jon is far from a perfect parent, but in his case, I really believe a lot of it is immaturity. Due to Kate's pressures, he found himself with too many kids too quickly, while he was just too young. He's trying to defend his choices when he rages against internet people like us, who find Kate obnoxious and narcissistic, because otherwise he'll just feel emasculated and hoodwinked by the evil bitch he married.

Reprinted with permission from Grammier.