The Twelve Days of Gosselin

On the twelfth day of Christmas the Gosselins gave to us:

Twelve helpers helping
Eleven daily tantrums
Ten prepared meals
Nine fewer loved ones
Eight exploited children
Seven new seasons
Six free vacations
Five slaps for Jon
Four hugs for Hannah
Three "icky" boys
Two miserable twins
One horrendous hairstyle and a shrew-a-shrieking on the TV.


Courtesy of several friends of the blog. Thank you all.

38 comments:

ThreeFarmers said...

Ah, nice. Love it.

noteasybeingstupid said...

This sums it all so nicely! Short and sweet. And hilarious. Thanks!

FXfanatic said...

Love it!!
So true!!!

eight exploited children

ha ha, sad but true!

Chris said...

Haha funny!

Sue said...

What, now everyone is into writing poems?

Mikemom said...

Let's go caroling at their new house and sing it! Ha
I'll bring the organic cookies

GingerRose said...

I think Jon would be happy if it were only five slaps ......

Travis Noodle said...

"One horrendous hairstyle and a shrew-a-shrieking on the TV."


LMAO! That is the best line!!!

Very Nice!!!

Tangerine Tanya said...

Hat's off to whoever composed this poem..........BRAVO.....

Vicki said...

Spot on Sharla and friends. Well
done!!

Leadfut2002 said...

Love it. Thanks for the laugh. How true it all is.

ThreeFarmers said...

Aw, guys, I am the first one to be in shock at the behavior of the parents and the exploitation of the children, but now it seems like everyone's being "bullies" like in grade school or something. I think this behavior is no better than theirs. It doesn't solve anything...I can see venting about how the children are treated, how the kids crave attention, etc., but I think pointing out the kids' personal faults and making fun is probably not productive.

I call PITY!

I detect pity in that post.

WENDY said...

To Greekmom - These posts are funny and more entertaining than the show. It's productive in that it allows venting and tons of laughter. The moderators keep us in line quite nicely. It could be a whole lot worse.

DontGetTheHype said...

I detect pity in that post.
I must work this into everyday conversation. Heh.

damagedgoods said...

I have been having a pretty bad day due to the loss of a loved one and I want to tell you all:
That was great and made me laugh!
thanks and happy holidays to you all.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa ( sp?) one and all.

Girlymom said...

Speaking of the "horrendous hairstyle" I think it needs a post all its own. What's with that spikey action she's got going on in the back?

domoarigato said...

Haha thats so funny!!

Gloria said...

Nicely done.

Joanne said...

Thanks for the laugh! I needed that today.

jmgamg said...

I love it! Great job! :)

Teri said...

Hi
I love it. So good!!
Merry Christmas to all.

Betty Sue said...

Happy Holidays to all. Enjoy your family. The Gosselins may be enjoying their ill-gotten booty behind the sequestering gates of the Konpound, but they are doing it alone, without family, which has long since been expellled from their existence.

Arieslikekate said...

you're a mean one, Mrs. Grinch...

dye Kate green, and with her hairdo, you get the female version of the GRINCH (who gaveback Christmas! )

Tangerine Tanya said...

Betty Sue,
Couldn't have said it better myself.

damagedgoods...Sorry you had a loss and I am glad that you found a moment of laughter..

timetogokon said...

In the spirit of the season, I wanted to share a little story :

My son's preschool teachers are absolutely wonderful. One parent organized a group gift from the parents - everybody donated what they wanted/could and the amounts were kept anon.

The teachers opened their gifts today ($) and one of the teachers started to cry, she was so touched and appreciative. I did not know this but she also works evenings (after her school shift) and weekends at the local Safeway to make ends meet. There wasn't a dry eye in the room.

THIS is the type of graciousness and heartfelt gratitude that Kate and Jon are sorely missing.

santa baby said...

what a wonderful thing to do timetogokon. Yes KON would not know what gracious behavior was if it came up and bit em

Betty Sue said...

"Yes KON would not know what gracious behavior was if it came up and bit em"

No, instead, they are taking gifts and offerings from old ladies and others who think they wouldn't be able to provide for their kids. Who are they to say no?

Kristen said...

Love it! Is it sad I actually sung this out loud? hahahaha

Samantha said...

Betty Sue--I was at one of the latest KON speakings. Not once was there mentioned a "love offering" or to donate to the family.

And, to burst your bubble even more, there were no $20 pictures being sold anywhere. They were guest speakers and spoke about half an hour. There was a questions and answers period.

Just wanted you to know that the stuff you claim (the love offerings, the pics for sale) is not happening. It makes me wonder if what you speak of is from their earlier church visits and you can't shake it. I can't imagine that they would deviate from the forum I experienced.

bluebedeviled said...

Yeah, now that they can get the $25,000 speakers fee up front there would be no need to collect the love offering and sell photos. I pretty sure the folks tell them when they hand over the check that they can't have it both ways. But the last church speaking engagements done without the paid fee upfront did have collections and allowed them to hawk photos.
The church administrators are now admitting that they are paying the fee and there aren't going to be "love offerings." Which I'm sure they'd much rather have the $25,000 then an unknown amount dependant on the heartstrings of the members of the audiences.
It would make me livid to know my church committee that sets up these sort of things paid 25 big ones for these idiots to come blather on about the hardship of misusing fertility treatments. Boo, hoo.

Andy said...

Are you the same Samantha from Gosselins do Not Need Pity that loooves the Gosselins. You post there alot.

Samantha said...

No I'm not that Samantha

LujansFinest said...

How cute!?! Love that one...

LujansFinest said...

How cute!?! Love it...

Sheilagh said...

Samantha said...
Betty Sue--I was at one of the latest KON speakings. Not once was there mentioned a "love offering" or to donate to the family.
And, to burst your bubble even more, there were no $20 pictures being sold anywhere. They were guest speakers and spoke about half an hour. There was a questions and answers period.
Just wanted you to know that the stuff you claim (the love offerings, the pics for sale) is not happening. It makes me wonder if what you speak of is from their earlier church visits and you can't shake it. I can't imagine that they would deviate from the forum I experienced.
_________
Samantha, thank you for sharing. It is very interesting that you do not mention which venue you were at for the speaking engagement nor the date. Are you perhaps employed by KON's PR firm to scour the blogs and post comments favorable to KON? It seems that KON's PR people are trying to pass as mainstream commenters when in fact they are attempting subtle damage control (aka propaganda). If this is their plan, it isn't working. KON's stupidity, disingenuousness, and greed are obvious to everyone - except perhaps the sheeple - but they are coming around to the true reality as well. Samantha, can you please tell us more about the event you attended? I'd be interested to hear the new tale KON is spinning. Thanks.

Jamie said...

I don't understand why anything positive is called PR. At least this website posts positive messages. The 'other' blog doesn't.

Karen said...

As I read, I am just shaking my head. How can a person think it's OK to say the things you do, and others have is beyond me.
You say you are a Christian. I will not question that, as you so readily do with Kate [and Jon]. However I will question your Christian attitude and behaviour. Judging other Christians, gossiping about what you obviously don't know, spreading unkind comments, and lies. 1 Timothy 3:11

Unless you have had actual one on one conversations with the Gosslins, and know, understand, and fully comprehend their lives, motives and hearts you really have no right to question them. 1 Samuel 16:7

I'm not here to defend them, but I sure don't like to see a Christian being bashed for their choices in life. We are all still human, and we fight, argue, sin, make bad decisions. For the Gosslins, every fault and foible is put on display for the world to see. I think they are very brave. 1 Thessalonians 5:11

You should read their new book "Multiple Bles8ings". It gives some great insites into their lives and their relationship to the Lord.

Truly, I am disheartened to read what I have. It's heartbreaking when a Believer is raked over the coals for their choices. I am reminded that "Christians are the only ones who shoot their wounded." Perfection will only be attained at death. Until then we are all still sinners, forgiven but still...sinners. 2 Peter 3:14

It would be a good idea for you to rethink your choice in this website. Christ is not being glorified in this. One day you will be held accountable for the words you speak [type]. 1 Corinthians 13

John 8:7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her."

ThreeFarmers said...

Unless you have had actual one on one conversations with the Gosslins, and know, understand, and fully comprehend their lives, motives and hearts you really have no right to question them. 1 Samuel 16:7

Really? The Gosselins were mentioned in the Bible?

We absolutely have the right to questions them as you have the right to question us. The Gosselins have placed themselves in the public eye and have looked many times into that camera and have lied. As someone who has been lied to by the Gosselins, I am fully within my rights to question them.

God did not put us on this earth to passively accept every single bit of information that is fed to us. We were given brains to think for ourselves and to question.

I wonder what God thinks of your misuse of the Bible to put us in our place? Are you trying to use the Bible to support your own argument? I wonder what God thinks about those who use his word to support their own purposes? The Bible as a weapon of debate. I'm sure God loves that.