Tups Turn 50

Lt Gov Knoll remarks...I try to picture 46 years from now when Alexis, Hannah, Aaden, Collin, Leah, and Joel will get together for their 50th birthday party. There will be more candles at that event than there were at the Vatican a few weeks ago. It will look like the runway lights have been turned on at an airport."
-----------------------------------
(Continued)

Submitted by scaryskiernj

61 comments:

Sharla said...

Let's picture this event. There stand the proud parents Jon and Kate waiting at the airport gates for thier children to come home to celebrate this event.

Cara can't make it because she is coach of the US Womens Soccer Team and they are playing abroad. A terrific soccer player in her younger days, Cara was made head coach five years ago and her team is 124-5-1 under her coaching. She sends her birthday wishes to the six.

Mady, who hasn't had regular contact with her family in years is living in a commune in Vermont. No tv, no phones and nobody that knows about her younger years on TLC. She practices meditation, yoga, makes hemp clothing and sells grilled cheese sandwiches at concert events. She had no comment about the upcoming tups birthday and held up a sign that said "no cameras" written in a childish scrawl!

Alexis won't be able to make it because she and Bindi Irwin are busy at their reptile farm in Queensland. Their husbands and children all live here and Alexis just can't bear to be away from her beloved aldergaters for any length of time. She'll be celebrating her birthday while wrestling a 50 year old gator center stage at noon. Shown on Animal Planet at 6pm eastern time.

Hannah and Jackson Duggar would love to attend, but their travel trailor has been giving them fits. They and their 15 children live in Duggarville Ar and the trip to Pa is just out of the question at this time. Hannah had a falling out with her mother a few years ago over the fact that Kate did not want to see her grandchildren in thrift store clothing. Used shoes was just to much for Kate to bear and and sent her running back to the Konpound. Hannah is hoping to mend this fence, but since she never learned how to do from her own parents estrangement with their parents, it may not happen anytime soon.

Aaden sends his regrets but he is busy at the San Diego zoo. He became attached to the area after one of his families many trips when he was younger and after college graduation (which he had to pay for) he moved out San Diego and became a zoo keeper. He especially loves to take families on a tour of the zoo. He sends out his very best birthday wishes.

Collin had tried his hand at many many jobs. He tried to make it as a dancer but his "nannny nanny boo boo" dance just never took off. He turned to the construction trade, but finally found his calling as a long distance bus driver. Collin has a perfect on time record and will be travelling throughout the Southwest at the time of the birthday celebration.

Leah would love to be there but she just opened her very own gymnastic school. Leah, who had several tryouts with the US Olympic team but fell short only to have her parents Jon and Kate demand that she be placed on the team! How dare the officals demand that Leah earn a spot. Whoever heard of the that??? Leah left the sport and returned to college (which she paid for) and after marrying Ryan Hayes, another sextuplet, of lesser fame, disappeared off the gymnastic scene until recently opening her school. She wishes her siblings well and a very happy birthday.

Joel, living in LA and working on a revamped versions of What Not To Wear and America's Top Model is just "to dreadfully busy" to attend a birthday party. He was hoping to gain a sliver of time to go east, but work comes first. He learned that at an early age working in the "family business." Joel by the way does look fabulous!

Poor Jon and Kate, left alone at the gate. "The cats in the cradle with the silver spoon......."

Izzie said...

Haha, not even Hannah wanted to come! I could see all of this happening.

However, I'm not sure many of the 'tups will have kids - or in my opinion, they shouldn't. I know not everyone turns out like their parents when they have children of their own, but I'd hate to think that the 'tups/twins repeat all the mistakes their parents made. My hope is that they'd remember what crappy parents they had and not want to repeat/continue the cycle...

ashley said...

Ha! Sharla its brilliant! And I can actually see it happening.

Judy said...

I thought Aunt Beth and Uncle Bob had contact with Mady since she had lived with them for all those years after she left home, or maybe that was just a rumor...

Chris said...

Collin had tried his hand at many many jobs. He tried to make it as a dancer but his "nannny nanny boo boo" dance just never took off. He turned to the construction trade, but finally found his calling as a long distance bus driver. Collin has a perfect on time record and will be travelling throughout the Southwest at the time of the birthday celebration.
-----------------------------------
Actually, Collin is a towtruck driver/garage owner in the Ozarks. He figured that was one place where people would just let him be himself and his parents would never visit. He will, however, call his brothers to wish them his best.

Charlie Rose said...

Brilliant and most likely a pretty accurate description of what the future holds for the Gosselins.

Tangerine Tanya said...

Sharla you did it again! At the risk of sounding like a foo foo queen....You are TOTALLY BRILL!
This has to be the most right on and comical post thus far. LOVES IT!So right on and funny.

fxfanatic said...

OMG, Laughing at Joel.
Normally, I don't pick on the kids individually but this is too funny!!!!

fostersmom said...

ScarySkierNJ you did a great job on this! We've seen other in the future posts, but this one is my favorite.

Sable said...

And Jon will be living near his Hawaiian relatives, playing golf all day. Sorry, but he can't attend because Kate got all the money.

ThreeFarmers said...

scaryskiernj,

Thoroughly enjoyed this post. Good on ya!

Weed said...

I liked the post, but just to be snarky - the "tups" will not be 50 in 49 years :-) Keep them coming, I love the posts

Allison Parker said...

Here's my version:

Alexis is now a successful vet with her own product line of animal shampoos and supplements. She also has an alligator farm.

Hannah is now the principal of an elementary school. She became a teacher and made sure that kids reach their full potential by not missing school days. After a few years teaching she took her Masters and became the principal.

Leah is a successful lawyer. She is very driven and her specialty is child abuse. She is very popular as she hasn't lost a case yet. She also works pro novo.

Aaden is a successful Chemistry professor in a prestigious university.

Collin is a successful Mechanical engineer. He builds more efficient trains. He has his own engineering firm.

Joel is now a pediatrician. He takes good care of children and makes sure to remind parents when it is time for their appointments.

Cara is also a doctor. Her specialty is Internal Medicine. She, Joel and Mady works in the same hospital that they own.

Mady is a nurse. She is the head nurse in the hospital that she and her siblings own. Her specialty is pediatric nursing.

They all have their own families now. There were no twins as it does not run in the family, nor infertility, not even polycystic ovarian polysyndrome.

What happened? As soon as they were old enough, Mady and Cara legally emancipated from their parents and Aunt Jodi and Uncle Kevin became the legal guardians of the tups and raised them, the twins, and their own kids really well. The Gosselin kids also got to keep all the money they earned. They all lived happily ever after.

Jon and Kate were never heard of ever again.

Sasha222 said...

And how does this post help stop the exploitation of these innocent children?

Harriet said...

Sasha, please don't try to put your constraints on someone else's blog. :)

No one ever said every post on this blog had to be about one subject except people like you who wish we'd go away and shut up.

Charlie Rose said...

And how does this post help stop the exploitation of these innocent children?

-------------------

And how exactly is Kate and Jon's behavior and greediness stopping the exploitation of the innocent children? The public have every right to their opinion on the Gosselins, after all, it is the PUBLIC who are supporting them, in a round about way!

ThreeFarmers said...

And how does this post help stop the exploitation of these innocent children?

Ok, Sasha222. The name of this blog is Gosselins Without Pity. It is a gathering place -- a virtual piazza -- as it were, for people who share the same opinions -- or not -- about the Gosselins. The vast majority of the people here are sickened by the way J&K have put their children in the position of having to support their family.

Folks here are also upset by the way J&K fraudulent market themselves as experts on everything from penny pinching and parenting to electronics. It has been well established that J&K are still taking "love offerings" based on the premise that they won't be able to provide things like weddings and an education to their children in the future, despite the fact that they are more well off than those from whom they choose to take.

Unfortunately, being an arsehole isn't illegal and no single post (INCLUDING YOURS) or group of posts will do much to stop them, but by keeping this blog active with a variety of opinions and new people finding us everyday, perhaps, over time, we will convince enough people to quit supporting them and the sponsors who hire them. If this blog dies and there is no longer a continuous flow of information, humorous or otherwise, then that process will slow considerably.

June C said...

Jon and Kate are doing a couch interview about the tups 50th birthday from their apartment in a assisted living home. Jon sits there with a blank look on his face, he's been pretending to be senile for about 10 years now to get Kate off his back. She ends their interview saying "we don't have much contact with the kids. They don't know how to help us."

Tabitha said...

It has been well established that J&K are still taking "love offerings" based on the premise that they won't be able to provide things like weddings and an education to their children in the future, despite the fact that they are more well off than those from whom they choose to take.

~~~~~~~~~~~~
Besides the children losing their childhood, this is the reason I can't stand them. If they never had those children, would people take advice from them, budget or parenting tips from them. Heck no. They were NOBODIES and in a sense still are.

Sharla said...

I'm home sick today so responding to a few things I normally wouldn't. Sasha said some things in a comment I rejected. (Taunts just won't go through.)

I'm just saying that posts like these are the reason people do not take this blog seriously. I think it's great that this blog draws attention to how wrong it is that these parents are making money off their kids. But when a post like this pops up...or the hundreds of posts about how Kate's hair sucks or she's fat, it takes away from the real reason this blog claims to exist. You can't honestly disagree with that can you?

Sharla- I think that assuming in so many words that Joel is going to grow up and be a fabulous fashionista is basically just a sad and low blow. The kid is four years old and already you are labeling him in that way. How do you think that would make him feel?


First I created this blog. It's real reason for existing is two fold. First because we could see that TWoP was going to close the J&K thread soon for good. We wanted a public place to talk and we is a group of people who met on TWoP. Secondly we wanted to make various things about the Gosselins public. Thus the main or sole purpose of this blog is NOT dealing with child exploitation and it gets wearying when people try to insist that it is. I put up the blog and still remember why I did it. :) The blog being solely about ending child exploitation was not even a thought in my head.

As to the comments on Kate's hair and other such items, they get old to me, too. How many comments have you seen from me about Kate's appearance? But other people enjoy the discussion so it goes on.

As to your comment to me about Joel, please check the post. I published someone else's writing as a blog post. I don't find thinking Joel could work in fashion deameaning at all. It can be a very creative and profitable business. I find nothing more wrong with that than thinking someone will become a teacher, a dancer, an actor, or a farmer.

To me demeaning is having a mother who thinks, says on TV, and has recorded for the future that "boys are icky." I should think that will make him feel far worse especially since it's been said in his hearing.

3rd Rock From The Sun said...

EXCELLENT post. I can picture it all in my mind.

One question, does Kate still have that funky hairdo?

Sable said...

Sharla, I agree. It is awful for Kate to say boys are "icky" in front of her sons or anywhere else. My grandson is the greatest little guy on Earth and there is nothing icky about him!

T-bag said...

From your own site, under "What We Want..."

We want the children to stop being forced to live in a fishbowl on a studio set with a hectic and demanding production schedule breathing down their necks all the time.

We want child labor laws to recognize that children in reality shows deserve the same protection that children in scripted shows have.

how does that not label this as a child advocacy site? I'm not trying to be snarky, I'm honestly just wondering.

HW said...

Kate's kids never come and visit her. Every time she invites them, they claim they're exhausted.

Collin, remembering his experience in a furniture store parking lot, has become a proctologist.

3rd Rock From The Sun said...

Sharla,
How in the world does Sasha see Joel being in the fashion business a "sad and low blow?" There are plenty of men in the fashion business who would consider Sasha's comment "a sad and low blow."

The comment from Kate's own mouth that boy's are "icky", is truly a sad and low blow. Joel, Collin and Aaden are going to remember their own mother saying that about them for the rest of their lives.

Perhaps Sasha should think about Kate's comment instead.

Sharla said...

That is there, but it is also not ALL that is there. Besides wanting something does not equate to being the sole reason for existence. I've considered removing that button and if people want to hang us for not slavishly following two statements in a button, I may just have to do that.

pam said...

I havent liked a lot of posts on this blog, but I admit this one is pretty good. Cute. Makes me wonder- I bet a tup or two (or Mady and Cara) will reimerge at some later date. I'm hoiping its for a good reason- either actress/actor or well known Dr. or even as fabulous fashion designer! I'm thinking at least one will be more well known as an adult than as a child.

Love GWoP said...

Sharla,

I think it's ridiculous that others come on here and try to tell you the purpose of YOUR blog or what is supposed to be discussed.

I just want to thank you for this blog. I've been reading since June and have watched it grow and improve over the months. I know it must be alot of work and I think you all are doing a great job! I also love the recaps because I stopped watching the show months ago and the recaps are 10 times better than the episodes anyway.

Keep up the great work!

Sharla said...

No, manny, Serena did not create the blog. She was here during the time you mentioned. She enjoyed engaging the readers much more than I ever have, but that takes a toll and is why I seldom take that path. Yes, today is an exception.

snarkygirl said...

Sharla,
I think this is great. Nothing wrong with humour it does not take away from the serious issues that many are concerned with on this site. In fact humour only serves to show the seriousness of the problem (i.e. political cartoons). Also, I know why she (sasha)is offended by the fashion comment...please, chances are one of them...and so what...And, by the way I am one of those new people who found you recently. I searched because I couldn't believe I could be the only one who thought that jon and kate were a problem. Thanks to all for a great site.

RuthinVA said...

That was really, really good! Where did you come up with the grilled cheese sandwiches?

nancy019 said...

aaah yes I can see it now (looking into my crystal ball)...
those hairplugs have all fallen out of Jon's head, all that exercise with the "fuzzy bunny" has gone south, he is indeed feeling lost without the potty chairs he is used to lugging around, and what's that he hears in his nightmares "JOOOONNNNN, WHERE ARE YOU, I NEED YOUR HELP",
wakes up with a start and then heaves a sigh of relief, Oh my God, it was just a dream, I am still a 20 year old with my future in front of me. For some reason, I no longer feel the need to get in some long haired blondes pants....hmmmm

Virginia Lawyer said...

The nursing home scenario rings true to me. "Jon pretending to be senile for the last 10 years to get Katie off his back"..."They don't know how to help us". You guys crack me up. Toooooo funny.

Allison Parker said...

I think that assuming in so many words that Joel is going to grow up and be a fabulous fashionista is basically just a sad and low blow. The kid is four years old and already you are labeling him in that way. How do you think that would make him feel?
---------------------------------

It was Kate herself who said Joel could be a model (I think he'd be a doctor because he's very neat and observant). Nigel Barker of ANTM used to be a model, then become a photographer. He is a judge in ANTM but he also has a beautiful wife and kids. Mossimo Giannulli (of Mossimo clothing line) is married to Lori Loughlin and has two kids.
To think that it is low blow being a man in the fashion industry is just wrong.

SmartyQ said...

For Kon, I see: Jon and Kate spent all of the money on legal fees after seven of the eight children sued for emancipation and an accounting of funds when the tups were 11. Hannah refused to join the suit and stayed with J&K until Kate refused to use the last $25K the Gosselins had for therapy for Hannah. The three Gosselins parted company soon after.

Jon lives in a small aluminum trailer with his second wife, BarbiSoo Bangormeisten, a waitress at the Toot and Tell'em drive-in in Hoisington, Kansas. Jon and BarbiSoo met at a Star Trek convention, Jon's only indulgence each year. He has a steady, albeit part-time, job as a greeter at Walmart.

Kate had so much plastic surgery that many children mistake her for either a mummy or a zombie. Three sets of parents filed suit against her demanding that she pay for the intense therapy their children needed after seeing her in K-mart. Kate doesn't work at K-mart, but she spends her free time wandering the aisles and saying, 'Um, layaway, um, um.' Once in a while she will scream, 'I could have been a contender!' Kate is on welfare because her nursing license was yanked when the State of Pennsylvania learned that she had spent three years at the Happy Home Sanitorium as a result of lobbing lit large pinecones at the sheriff when he came to evict her from her mansion for non-payment of mortgage.

3rd Rock From The Sun said...

SmartyQ,
Very good. I give you an A+. I can't wait to see what the future holds for Jon and Kate, but I have a feeling that you are right on target.

Marie-France said...

Nice job, Smarty Q - love the trailer park abode and the greeter at Walmart job. It's amusing, but makes perfect sense, really.

nosheeple said...

Thus the main or sole purpose of this blog is NOT dealing with child exploitation and it gets wearying when people try to insist that it is. I put up the blog and still remember why I did it. :) The blog being solely about ending child exploitation was not even a thought in my head.
____________
Thank you for explaining this even though I think it has to be explained way too many times. It gets old to see people try to limit things to one topic alone..very old! I think it needs to be posted permanently on the front page for all to see before the comment even shows up again!

As for my addition, Kate is wandering around at the KONpound and Jenny, still being their hired help, only now she is the caretaker for KON, shows up. Suddenly we hear a shout, "Kaaate! What did you do?!" Seems poor Katie has soiled her diaper. Jenny decides to just wrap her in trash bags and have her lie down on the laundry room floor for the night.

Ms.L said...

Helping to expose this family
You've definitely made an impression.
Providing a forum for
Online discussion which
Challenges thoughts.
Recaps provide perspective and
Interesting commentary
Tell a lot.

Christi said...

"aaah yes I can see it now (looking into my crystal ball)...
those hairplugs have all fallen out of Jon's head"


I think the hairplugs will stay. But, all the other hair falls out (stress, you know), so he's ends up with a ring of hair above his forehead. Might have to shave the precious plugs, or risk looking very very strange.

photochic2642 said...

Well you know what they say..what comes around goes around. LOL
Right on nonsheeple!

Mark said...

nosheeple said...
As for my addition, Kate is wandering around at the KONpound and Jenny, still being their hired help, only now she is the caretaker for KON, shows up.


I figured Jenny would be rich from her tell-all book. She would use her vast fortune to buy Figure 8 Films and ensure no other children would be exploited by them.

There has to be a happy ending somewhere.....

WENDY said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you! These posts had me laughing out loud. Clever and witty. I love this site. Alexis and her aldergators - gee I love that kid.

Gregory House said...

I find offensive the implication that a boy who grows up to be "fabulous" is a bad thing. That in and of itself is sad and low.

Sharla didn't say anything derrogatory in my opinion.

To Quote Her Exactly said...

When the tups turn 50, some local tv station in the town Kon lives in will come to Kon's house to interview J&K.

The reporter will ask J&K, "your tups turn 50 years old day? are you getting together with them for some cake & ice cream?".

And Kate will look into the camera and say:

"The sextuplets are not part of our everyday lives.
They didn't know how to help us."

kate is a cocky bitch said...

of course I don't wish her any illwill, but who's to say that Kate will still be around when the tubs turn 50? She would be pushing 80, right?

Music_girl said...

Can I share my version of their outcomes??

CARA got a scholarship for an Ivy league school and became a Psychologist for children with learning disabilities. She married an all-American guy with no Korean roots as soon as she finished school and took his last name, going back to being anonymous. They had two boys.

MADY became a singer/actress and married Maddox Jolie-Pitt. They lived all over the world with their only daughter. She enjoys spending time with her husband's family, but only gets in touch with her parents on special occasions. She's still spends a lot of time with her siblings though.

ALEXIS also went to showbiz, only to host a show about wild animals. She loves her privacy and does not do any more public appearances than she has to.

HANNAH really did marry Jackson Duggar. She majored in child development while living at home. They have now lost count of how many children they had.

AADEN became a veterinarian. He married Zahara Jolie-Pitt (Mady's sister-in-law) and they moved to Africa to be closer to animals.

COLLIN is a devoted husband and father to 5 children (no twins though). He married as soon as he turned 18. A few years after that he finished school and became an engineer, and now enjoys a quiet life in central PA, close to all his relatives.

LEAH became a pediatrician. She married a Korean doctor and they adopted two little boys, and after that had 3 kids of their own. She hates video cameras, but loves taking pictures of her family. But she never posts them anywhere!!

JOEL became a famous interior designer. He married his first girlfriend he met in High School and they had a son. After his parents got too old to live by themselves, he refused to send them to a home and took them in, to live in his nicely decorated basement.


J&K - After the tups went to school full-time, they adopted the Korean girl they always wanted, but as soon as she turned 18 she went back to Korea to find her real parents and help them. She became a lawyer that fights child labor and helps people to adopt.

Vanessa said...

Maybe they'll both be on the front porch, or garage, in their white rockers doing the interview portion of the show.

Gregory House said...

Oh trust me, someone is going to make a boatload of money off of a tell all book someday. My bets are on Mady. And I am sure that the sheeple will have the same venomous reception of said book as the fans of Joan Crawford had towards Christina when she wrote "Mommie Dearest".

Like another poster mentioned a few weeks ago, "There is no one as blind as he who refuses to see."

fxfanatic said...

we don't have much contact with the kids. They don't know how to help us."

Funny and sadly true.

mistmi01 said...

It's a pity scaryskiernj changed the post based on Weed's comment:
Weed said...
I liked the post, but just to be snarky - the "tups" will not be 50 in 49 years :-) Keep them coming, I love the posts


Since she was quoting the Lt Governor, 49 was correct at the time the comment was made.

bradleymom said...

I am fairly new to this site and I can already see how dealing with people like Sasha can get old real fast.

I think humor is an absolute necessity in life. Two characteristics I like about myself is my interest in the welfare of children (I deal with abused children in the school system) - and my ability to be a complete and utter foolish goober. Being silly with my kids, and seeing humor in most situations is not just a healthy way of dealing with things, but I think, even a necessity. Some people need to lighten up just a tad. Does anyone else get a mental picture of someone with perpetually frowning pursed lips, rigid posture - perhaps from a stick....... and a knuckle slapping ruler in their hand when you read some of these comments?

Also I think it would be wonderful and fulfilling to end up like Calvin Klein, Ralph Lauren, or Giorgio Armani. What is the insult there? I'd be more insulted about the way J&K imitate Joel by lisping and putting their hand in the air with a limp wrist.

Aas a new person to this site I am surprised that I already feel protective when my new "peeps" are getting picked on!

Irish-Gal said...

The similarity to the situation with the Dionne quints and with the Gosselins just baffles me.

As they say, history repeats itself...

Judy said...

Irish-Gal--I politely disagree with you.

The Dionne quints were from a whole diffrent era. There's no similarity between the two as they were never on tv, but they were shown around like a freak show. The Gosselins on the other hand, are a part of the changing world and technology. And, believe it or not, they are shielded. They do have lives. We just aren't privvy to all of it.

This is a different time and era folks.

BGR said...

This is in response to Judy. While, of course, the Gosselins are being displayed in a different place and time, there is one other very key difference between them and the Dionnes. It was the government of Ontario that took over their custody and put them on display, not their parents. Another key difference is that with modern technology, the Gosselin children are being viewed in a hugely wider context than the Dionnes ever were. To see them, it was necessary to travel to Northern Ontario and they were only seen in a very limited display area. By contrast, the Gosselin children are viewed in the privacy of their very own home in the most private and intimate of moments.

Yes, it is a very different time and era, unfortunately for the Gosselin children. The Dionnes were robbed and so are they of very fundamental dignities. Whatever "shielding" you see I don't.

Ali said...

This is the funniest thing I have read in a long while. Ignore the haters. This is the kind of stuff that belongs here. I don't see it as making fun of the kids. I see it making fun of the horrible parenting job the entire nation is witnessing on a weekly basis.

Duckman said...

Of course, Alexis spent her college years at the University of Florida and has been rooting for the Gators ever since.

By now, the tups have gained ownership of the show and have repackaged the episodes as "lost" seasons of "The Twilight Zone".

SmartyQ said...

bradleymom said... Also I think it would be wonderful and fulfilling to end up like Calvin Klein, Ralph Lauren, or Giorgio Armani. What is the insult there? I'd be more insulted about the way J&K imitate Joel by lisping and putting their hand in the air with a limp wrist.

As a new person to this site I am surprised that I already feel protective when my new "peeps" are getting picked on!


And your new peeps appreciate it. :)

I too fail to understand why Prince Ka-Ching especially denigrates Joel's lisp. PK-C is, IMO, not a particularly manly man, and all of the snowboarding, skating, work-outs, etc don't make him seem masculine—just immature and as useless as breasts on a bird. PK-C is a little man, both physically and emotionally, and I suspect he's never been particularly masculine. Glass houses and stones, Your Royal Lowness?

bradleymom said...

Love it Smarty-Q! "Your Royal Lowness". You are so definitely one of my "peeps"! You have a sense of humor - you know - that thing that makes some of us laugh (which you totally did for me tonight by the way) - shame on you!

Irish-Gal said...

The similarity I see with the Dionne quintuplets is that this is yet another case of multiples being exploited. While there are many differences, they are both cases of their lives being watched through a glass box. This day in age that glass box just happens to be your television set instead.

L.Stash said...

To brg- I have a big interest in the dionne quints. Everything I read said that after the government exploited them and their father FINALLY got them back...he still had them make appearances. He also ran a booth in "Quintland" and sold his autograph in the booth.

He can hardly be considered an innocent father protecting his children.