Leis and Luaus - November 10 Recap

Leis and Luaus


Anyone care to guess how tempted I am to summarize this episode by writing, “The Gosselins took a vacation and got a lot of free crap. See all season four recaps for details.” and just call it a day ?

I know, I know…I can’t do that to you guys, but you get the idea. SSDD. It’s a vacation to remember, but still begs the question: Vacation from what? The last vacation? I just don’t know what these people have done that warrants a ‘vacation’ from anything.
Dictionary.com defines vacation as: “A period of time devoted to pleasure, rest, or relaxation, especially one with pay granted to an employee.”, “leisure time away from work devoted to rest or pleasure”, “a period in which activity or work is suspended”. So, you can see the problems all over that terminology.

The Gosselins are wrapping up their five day layover in San Diego that they needed to allow the kids to adjust to the time zone change on their way to Hawaii, and finally, they arrive in Maui where they are greeted with more people who are just happy to see them as well as a table full of crap at the Grand Wailea. Everyone gets lei’d and boy….
No…..OK…too easy there.

The immediate plans before this big farce of a second wedding ceremony are hula lessons and lei making for the girls and shopping for wedding shirts for the boys. This, much like the last episode, is shaping up to be a big honking flashing neon sign advertisement for the resort du jour, in this case the Grand Wailea. The Gosselins settle in to their awesome digs and Jon takes the twins to the waterslides while Kate and Jenny take the little ones to one of the many on-site pools. There’s a Lazy River on site, which no doubt works well for Kate. Leah proves to be quite the little swimmer. Of course, they all should be by this point after spending the last five months vacationing. It’s said that if Leah grew gills, she could be a fish. That could be applied to a lot of things with this family. For instance, if Kate grew a conscience, she could be a human. If Jon grew balls, he could be a respectable man. It will be ‘neat’ to be able to say Leah started swimming in Hawaii. Well, it was bound to happen somewhere, I say, as much as these kids have spent in pools, at beaches and resorts this summer.

Up next, Mady heaving and gagging. She’s turning into quite the Mini-Me of Kate, unfortunately. I so hope Jenny will act as a buffer for some of that so the child will learn there is a right way and a wrong way to go through life. Jon takes them to the beach and Mady is scared of the waves, but manages to make some friends along the shoreline which is a good thing to see. I’m glad Jon doesn’t shoo away every person who approaches his children. I’m sure the ever-constant cameras following these children around add some curiosity factor to their presence, but things like that little friend you made at the pool or shoreline that year at the beach are what childhood memories are made of. I hope when Mady grows up she retains those memories and finds joy in them, and her whole childhood isn’t summarized as ‘the cameras were always there’ or “Mom was afraid of attention seekers and didn’t let us make friends.” Sometimes there are just genuinely good people who pass through our lives. Some stay but some of those moments are fleeting but nonetheless valuable, and I hope Mady and the other kids have those memories.

The fun with friends that we see only lasts a few minutes, but I do hope the production team didn’t just show this time together for the sake of critics and allowed Mady to play with her new friends, perhaps without the cameras so they could all be at ease. We know what a grueling schedule they have to keep. Next shots show Jon and the girls on the water elevator that takes them to the top of the waterslides, and it’s back to grind, complete with more shrieking and protests by Mady. I think she’d be very happy back on the beach playing carelessly with her new friends and without cameras, but it’s just a feeling I get. I don’t think Mady likes these forced setups and obviously things she doesn’t care very much for all for the sake of getting the ‘money shot’, complete with a Mady meltdown. She knows it by now.

Later, the kids join Chef Eric and Natalie in the kitchen for baking and decorating cookies. Kate’s stressed over this, which is just shocking, don’t you think? I just can’t imagine Kate being stressed over something as simple as cookie decorating. Wait, oh yeah, I can.

Once again, Mady is banned from an activity, despite the fact they are making two batches of cookies; Mady Cookies and Cara Cookies. It’s just so sad how they have chosen to further exclude Mady and distance her from her siblings. I understand Mady. I know she is a troubled child and may be hard to deal with at times. The thing that baffles me is that they can’t see the why’s of that,this Catch 22 they find themselves in, afterall it is at their own hands that they have created this troubled child.

After all the cookies are made, with Jon assuming the role of Mady and making the batch of Mady Cookies, it seems they go out of their way to let it be known none of the kids wanted any Mady Cookies. Wonder why? Could it be that the parents have so ostracized Mady from the family that even the little kids want nothing to do with anything Mady? Very, very sad.

The family goes to eat dinner at a beautiful grass hut restaurant, where more PR for the Grand Wailea ensues. At this point, it’s really quite embarrassing to watch how they have sold their souls to this type of stuff. I take none of their compliments of the restaurant or the resort as a whole as genuine. It’s just part of the script now. Joel is pretty cute and genuine as he enjoys some lobster but that’s about as far as it goes.


The girls all go to make leis, and they really are very beautiful. We learn Cara lost a beloved stuffed animal in San Diego, “Slumber”, that she has had since she was three years old. We can all rest easy knowing that the resort they were at in San Diego found the cherished toy and happily shipped it back home to them in Pennsylvania. Another perk of being a big star I guess. While the girls are making leis, the boys go on a treasure hunt around the area. Joel finds a palm frond and pretends it is his very own mic, carrying it around just like his ever present buddies from the production crew do, hanging it over their heads. Yep, these kids are just your average little tykes. My four year old pretends he’s a dinosaur and these kids pretend they are television programming production crew. Nothing out of the ordinary about that.

Finally we get around to some hula lessons for the girls. Thankfully Mady isn’t banned from this activity and we see, once again, given the right circumstances and exposure, Mady can and will excel at the task at hand. She takes great pride on her accomplishments and relishes any and all praise she gets, usually from strangers hired to work with the family, but I imagine at this point, the child will take anything she can get to help that growing self esteem problem festering in her.

The boys take off for a little shopping. Jon has to pick up the shirt he ordered online before arriving in Hawaii, and they need to purchase shirts for the boys for the service. This whole excursion is basically another ad for Moonbow Tropics in Maui.

The whole family garners a front row seat for a luau that evening they all seem to enjoy. I’m a little shocked they didn’t get their own private luau but it’s good to let the kids see there are actually other people who coexist in the world with them. It looks like a fun evening for everyone and Mady gets an opportunity to go on the performance platform with some other kids from the crowd to show off her hula lessons. She did a great job and seemed to enjoy it.

Next up the whole family takes a catamaran trip out to snorkel and see sea turtles and other underwater creatures. This really looks like another fun day, but really, who couldn’t have fun in Hawaii? Of course, Kate is her usual hesitant self when it comes to actually getting in the water but she does it. The boat captain is really nice and funny and interacts well with the kids, engaging them often and letting them take turns driving the boat and Aaden helps prepare lunch. Jon makes a joke about throwing Kate overboard; yes, the woman he is about to recommit to. I don’t know about those kind of jokes from Jon. We’ve tried them in jest and they don’t blow over so well, so I’m not sure someone so close to her who knows her so well should either. The episode ends with Alexis quiet for a change, with her head buried in a boogie board that has a viewing circle made into it so she could see under the water surface without having to dive under.

Previews for the next episode show what is hopefully an end to this blatant advertisement for the Grand Wailea with finally this recommitment ceremony we’ve all been hearing so much about. After the last two episodes which were basically the same, change the name of the city and resort name and it’s basically the same old same old, I hope they’ll get this party started. This was quite honestly the most boring episode I have ever seen.

They needed to mix it up and throw in the threat of some dreaded tropical disease just for fun. I don’t know, something like “Dontwantus Gobacktoworkus” could be interesting. Ooops, too late, they’ve already contracted that. Must have been in Key West.

Submitted by Manda

38 comments:

Anonymous said...

Brilliant! :)

neeruam said...

Nice re-cap, but you are much too kind. Forgot to mention queen Kate hula-ing in her chair. TLC must have shipped her white plastic throne to Maui. She couldn't get her lazy butt up to hula on her feet?
And my favorite Kate moment... having Jon ask the boat captain to stay out 2 more hours, so they could all nap on board.

SkippyMom said...

Very well done. It sure was a repeat of other vacations, as you said, wasn't it. I am so glad I stop watching this show and only get the recaps and commercial promos on TLC [that is enough for me!].

I do have to say though, having worked in the hospitality industry we did [& often] send back found items to our guests - including beat up stuffed animals and binkys [pacifiers and blankets]. So, I don't think that is really a perk of their celebrity, just a hotel that knows how to keep guests happy.

Thanks for doing such a fine job and taking the time to post it!

Anonymous said...

Lets see Kate's list


Get paid $50k an episode - CHECK
Get paid $50k an episode and get a vacation which must have cost $20k - CHECK
Complain how hard it is to do, so you can get more freebies - CHECK
Plan your next freebie, make it a big one - CHECK
Move into the TLC mansion in NC! - CHECK
Cut your husbands _alls off in front of millions - CHECK
Complain more - CHECK
Sit on my ass more - CHECK
Complain more and more - CHECK
Cash the checks - CHECK

Boy it's hard being me,
Kate

Ravello said...

Great recap Manda, laughing out loud at some of the stuff, I'm sad about some other things. Especially poignant watching Joel pretending to have a boom mic. What a perspective these little kids have on life, it is really very sad.
These kids are definitely working for a living. Their pretend play involves simulating a film crew.
Meanwhile their parents laugh all the way to the bank.

It was quite a treat to see KON doing the hula in the white plastic chair. Is there a lazier mother?

Anonymous said...

Just had to share...i went to the TLC home site, and if you look over at TLC Guides, you can click on Kates Organizing Tips...lmao oh my!

Moons in Leo said...

Thanks so much for this contribution. I've been waiting breathlessly for it. :)

Laura Linger said...

I am asking this question in all seriousness: does Kate have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, or something?

Anonymous said...

I usually watch the show with my 9 year old daughter. My husband has never watched the show though he has heard us talk about it. This weekend my husband watched it with us for the first time. He lasted about 12 minutes before he saw right through the whole scam and started editorializing throughout the show. Right out of the gate...we were "invited" (No you weren't the show was) "look what these nice people have done for us.." (no, they did it for free advertisement) "Kate is a shrew, why does Jon put up with her"? He was absolutely appalled when they had Maine Lobster for dinner. We are from the Northeast and we know what that entails. Lobsters must be cooked alive and can only live for 24 hours out of the water. Those lobsters were flown in fresh from Maine that day or the day before. That is very expensive!! A friend is a lobsterman and we know the costs are quite high for that.

He can't believe that there are people out there who don't see this show for what it really is a scam!

Scoliosis99 said...

Gosh...Kate is so lazy! You would think that the experience and priviledge to be in Hawaii would have her on her feet and dancing with her kids! I went to Hawaii this past May (Oahu...and not a 5 star restore mind you) and I was running all over the beach with my 2 year old....AND I WAS 7 MONTHS PREGNANT! Maybe even Hawaii isnt enough excitment for lazy greedy Kate.

And about the kids on the beach that Mady "met" if you read comments on this blog you will learn that there was a family following them on this trip as "helpers" they got to bring their kids and it was all expense paid. The kids mady "met" were with them the whole time. NOT just random people Mady met. Kate and Jon would never let them meet strangers...

Anonymous said...

Mady didnt just happen to meet those girls on the beach! If you read a few posts ago a sorce said that a family close to Kon had been allowed to come as "helpers." The girls Mady "met" was the daughter of the family. They also got an all expense paid trip too. Do you guys really think Kon would let Mady meet commoners?

Jan said...

My husband was watching this epsiode while I was in another room and he kept calling me in saying, "Come look at this woman! She won't even get in the water. They're on the most beautiful boat I've ever seen and she won't stop complaining!" When men notice how obnoxious Kate is, you know it's bad.

Anonymous said...

"It was quite a treat to see KON doing the hula in the white plastic chair. Is there a lazier mother?"

I'm convinced that Kate uses all her energy scheming. Gosh, thinking must be a physical exertion for that woman.

Steph said...

great recap! it's not so unusual that a hotel will ship something left behind back to the guest...esp a child's sentimental something...we're pretty ordinary working joes and it's even been done for us!

Anonymous said...

"I am asking this question in all seriousness: does Kate have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, or something?"

**Snort**/Chuckle! Either that or she should get her thyroid checked out; must be underactive!

Anonymous said...

I have no jealousy whatsoever for these people and their scam, but there was a twinge of resentment when i saw them snorkeling in the beautiful ocean. That has been a dream of mine for a long time, and it's a dream that won't come true until I'm out of college and have all my student loans paid off. And have EARNED the funds to go.

Anonymous said...

have no jealousy whatsoever for these people and their scam, but there was a twinge of resentment when i saw them snorkeling in the beautiful ocean. That has been a dream of mine for a long time, and it's a dream that won't come true until I'm out of college and have all my student loans paid off. And have EARNED the funds to go.
------------------------------

My first trip to Maui wasn't until my honeymoon when I was 27 - I bet you'll beat me =)

Of course you can be resentful that a greedy b*tch like Kate gets this amazing trip for free. Go ahead, be resentful.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
"It was quite a treat to see KON doing the hula in the white plastic chair. Is there a lazier mother?"

You will never see Kate participating in any type of physical activity, too much risk of tripping on her super sized ego and breaking an ankle. She does have 8 children to care for don't you know. Not to mention, the possibility of falling on those brand new veneered Chiclets she has been sporting as teeth lately.

Anonymous said...

"Mady didnt just happen to meet those girls on the beach! If you read a few posts ago a sorce said that a family close to Kon had been allowed to come as "helpers." The girls Mady "met" was the daughter of the family. They also got an all expense paid trip too. Do you guys really think Kon would let Mady meet commoners?"
------------------
Not sure what you mean by "a family close to KON had been allowed to come..." What family? And CLOSE to KON?? Hasn't KON obliterated everyone CLOSE to them? Was this maybe a family TLC hired to accompany them as helpers and Mady was playing with the kid of the "paid help?" Isn't it pathetic? Wouldn't it have been nice if Jodi and Kevin and kids could have gone on that trip with them? Well, just add them to Kate's "hit list."

SkippyMom said...

Mady didnt just happen to meet those girls on the beach! If you read a few posts ago a sorce said that a family close to Kon had been allowed to come as "helpers." The girls Mady "met" was the daughter of the family. They also got an all expense paid trip too. Do you guys really think Kon would let Mady meet commoners?
11/17/2008 3:45 PM


Could you show the link to this? I have never read this and seem to have missed it completely.

I don't doubt the validity, but it should not be posted under "anonymous" to make this kind of claim, right?

It would seem really weird that people were "shipped in" and given a free vacation so the kids [Mady} would have someone to play with.

I like the OP's take much better about her making new friends. I hope that is the true statement.

Anonymous said...

Yes, sure let me look for it! It was in the thread with like 400 posts...They wernt shipped "just for Mady." Let me go back and copy and paste it.

-Scoliosis99

"distractionary items" said...

An excellent re-cap! So, Jon and Kate have the wedding 're-event' of a lifetime. Jon decides, near the end of the episode, to describe his golfing experience. He says, "I had the time of my life!" Kate shot him an evil look. Now, you have a four week wedding event extravaganza... and you top that off by saying... that golfing was the "time of your life"!!?? Sorry, but even I would get mad at my husband if he said that golfing was the time of his life instead of the renewal of marriage vowels. More moronic comments ensue as Kate says, "what's a birdie?" to Jon's play by play on the course! Dumb and Dumberer Plus 8!

W&MGrad said...

Great recap...I deleted the show from my DVR before watching it as I realized I just wouldn't be able to handle it.

Instead, I travelled to the strange world of "Twins, Twins and Sextuplets." They must be from Mars--2 sets of twins and sextuplets, one of which is special needs and the dad...get ready for this...has a job! And, when the mother does laundry, *she* folds the clothes. And the parents actually seem to *like* each other!

TheMoonlitSea said...

I just watched this episode after recording it last night.

In the early days of the show I would watch uninterrupted, but now I dust and vacuum while the show is on. Yep it is that boring and predictable.

This "wedding" thing was ridiculous. TLC hyped it up as if it was Tom Cruise and Kate What's-her-name getting married.

Really does anyone care anymore?

And if I had to sit through another scene of Kate saying "We will be together forever and ever and ever" while watching Jon to make sure he is agreeing I was gonna scream! That man wants out so bad.

If this wedding episode isn't their "shark jump" show then TLC just needs to change the name to Jon and Kate Plus 8 Little Product Placements and get on with the real deal.

And did anyone else get the feeling that the Hawaii ohana were just there as ornaments. Why do I feel like the few moments we got to see them with KON was the only time they got with them?

I have visions of KON being ushered on to the set like a celebrity guest star...they say their lines...make nice-nice with this family they don't know and will probably never see again...and then they are ushered off.

Anonymous said...

Oh, I am so glad someone mentioned the veneers that Kon is sporting now. Chiclets (sp?) is a really good name for them because they look fake and huge and thick and awful. Kate has horse teeth already and didn't need them and they are so obviously fake on Jon. Can imagine what those cost. But I guess the little church ladies who reached into their handbags for a love offering thought to themselves "These poor people need veneers. I don't need to get my medicine this week". Right, Kate?

nancy019 said...

For instance, if Kate grew a conscience, she could be a human. If Jon grew balls, he could be a respectable man.

That says it all doesn't it? Kudos to the author!

Anonymous said...

I have just started reading this blog and have to say I've found it quite interesting. For myself, I started watching the show because the sextuplets were the same age as my youngest (I have 4) and seemed to be at the same developmental level. It was good to see other children doing what my own was. In addition to that, Mady has the same personality as my 2nd child, which made me feel better to know I was not the only person with a child that acted this way. I've seen several suggestions as to why Mady behaves this way, I wish I had an absolute answer because it is not easy to deal with a child like this, and there is no easy solution to helping them. We've tried a variety of things and some actually make the behavior worse.
Beyond the children, I enjoyed seeing the byplay between J & K because it was similar to mine with my husband (however we are not as bad). My husband has commented frequently that if I treated him like K does J, he'd have left a long time ago.

"I am asking this question in all seriousness: does Kate have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, or something?"

Seeing the similarities I've wondered if K has borderline personality disorder, not a fatigue problem. I do, and I feel exhausted most of the time.
The anal retentiveness,the problem's in social situations, the OCD tendencies, the lists, the lack of patience, the unnecessary comments that are hurtful to J (someone she should be entirely grateful for) and the way she apparently treats family, the high levels of anxiety over simple things. All signs of BPD. The sad part is, to correct this disorder, which is a learned disorder, you need to acknowledge you have a problem and then relearn how to handle situations. If she has shunned every person that has suggested she has a problem or that she over reacts to situations, she won't ever correct it, her children very likely will avoid her as they get older, and she will be left alone, because once the kids are grown, what's keeping J there?

machinegunsmom said...

I truly watched this episode hoping to see some sincerity, something human about Jon and Kate, something about why this family drew me in in the first place...boy was I let down! There was absolutely NOTHING genuine about their vows/the wedding/anything in this episode and it certainly wasn't different from any other--the kids misbehaved, Kate was an unemotional shrew, and they awkwardly hung out with a bunch of family they either barely knew or had never met...oh, and Kate couldn't stop hammering it in that this was a "redo of the first wedding" because her awful family "couldn't or wouldn't" fly to Hawaii and foot the bill for a destination wedding... thanks for nothing, TLC.

Gloria said...

Great recap, Manda. You nailed this one. You can't put lipstick on a pig. It was just one big infomerical/travelogue. Someone mentioned this show jumping the shark - let me count the ways.

Melibee said...

[b]I am asking this question in all seriousness: does Kate have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, or something?

11/17/2008 3:09 PM[/b]
-------------------------------

Oh, Kate has CFS alright.
It's called Constantly Faking and Scamming.

Honestly, I think the real problem is that she's so FULL of herself she can't take the strain of that ginormous ego on her feet for long. Explains the "dancing" she did with Jon at the reception too. Poor thing can hardly stand herself these days. ;-)

Becky said...

Kate only likes people that are weaker than her. She loves John’s little old aunt, John's grandmother and her children and John, as long as he serves her. But if anyone that approaches her as an equal or threatens her power (her parents, Aunt Jodi, who was about to be paid, John if he wants her way)then she doesn’t like them, and cuts them off. So when she says “I love” this person, it sounds so sweet, but it is just because that is a subservient person and I’m afraid for the people she doesn’t love. She is the queen bee and can accept no rivals.



--

Anonymous said...

The way I see it, they are not necessarily excluding Mady from activities, moreso, it seems that Mady doesn't want to participate in the 'filming' anymore, and as they are good with excuses, they just go ahead and say that it is her 'ugliness' or whatever they call it. At the same time, Mady's 'ugliness' could also be a reflection of her not wanting to be a part of the sham, so it just goes both ways and feeds into each other.

Anonymous said...

I had to laugh when watching the episode. Kate kept calling the song that the girls were hula dancing to the "Hokey Lau" Um.... it's acutally the "Huki Lau". Calling it the Hokey Lau, is well, Hokey.

Annie B! said...

Why do you bother to watch this show if you hate it so much? Change channels. Who really cares if a kid is pretending to be a production guy? He's pretending something.. sheesh. I WISH my parents could have taken me to Maui when I was little.. or even now. People love Jon and Kate and their good, bad, funny, etc qualities.. and the kids are adorable. If I have 8 kids when I grow up I could only WISH and HOPE that someone would pay me to film my family 3 days a week. Seriously. What do you have against these people? Are they harming you? No. Do you really care about the welfare of those kids? That's a waste. Go voulenteer at a women's shelter, help those kids.

Anonymous said...

RE: COOKIES
The kids were given PERSONALISED jackets. This would protected them from spills/ stains.
However Kate was still stressed etc...Maybe Kate thought they were going to be playing with razor blades and pocket knives.

1) Does icing really stain? Seriously, cause i am now wondering what my insides look like

2) For kids who only get an occ organic lollipop they sure were able to name all the candy just fine.

3) I think any other mother would have been helpng her kids and encouraging them- NOT waiting anxiously on the side for a stain!

4)Expensive (free) camping gear is garbage and white choc chips in cookies (free) are rubbish

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
RE: COOKIES
The kids were given PERSONALISED jackets. This would protected them from spills/ stains.
However Kate was still stressed etc...Maybe Kate thought they were going to be playing with razor blades and pocket knives.

1) Does icing really stain? Seriously, cause i am now wondering what my insides look like

2) For kids who only get an occ organic lollipop they sure were able to name all the candy just fine.

3) I think any other mother would have been helpng her kids and encouraging them- NOT waiting anxiously on the side for a stain!

4)Expensive (free) camping gear is garbage and white choc chips in cookies (free) are rubbish

11/26/2008 3:17 PM

Kate had already participated in her annual, 'see kids mommy is allowing you to get messy' activity when the family was on their two week 'working vacation' this past summer in NC. The Gosselin children arent due for their next pre planned fully contrived 'messy' activity until July 2009.

Anonymous said...

Annie B! said...
Why do you bother to watch this show if you hate it so much? Change channels. Who really cares if a kid is pretending to be a production guy? He's pretending something.. sheesh. I WISH my parents could have taken me to Maui when I was little.. or even now. People love Jon and Kate and their good, bad, funny, etc qualities.. and the kids are adorable. If I have 8 kids when I grow up I could only WISH and HOPE that someone would pay me to film my family 3 days a week. Seriously. What do you have against these people? Are they harming you? No. Do you really care about the welfare of those kids? That's a waste. Go voulenteer at a women's shelter, help those kids.

11/25/2008 10:52 AM

Are you actually suggesting that caring for the welfare of the Gosselin children is a 'waste'? Perhaps when you 'grow up' and you have children of your own you will then be capable of understanding the REAL issue at hand. I would also suggest that YOU , when not spending your time watching the J & K reality show, volunteer some of YOUR time at a women's shelter and see what life is REALLY about!!!

FedUpinNJ said...

Hotels shipping items back that are lost is not a celebrity perk. If the hotel is interested in pleasing and retaining clientele, they'll offer to do it. My oldest son lost his cherished Thomas train that opens into a book in Fort Lauderdale at the Marriott. We were really sick and just left in a hurry. I called them a couple days later and they found it and shipped it back. It's good PR. I remember that place forever now and would go back there because of their attentiveness.