Gymnastics & Baseball Recap

This recap is dedicated to Kate Gosselin’s New And Improved Breasts, without whom this episode clearly would not have been possible, given the level to which they were displayed. Well done, Ms. Gosselin! Yes, they sure are round and perky and plump, and we all noticed; how could we not? They’re a metaphor, actually, a temporary testament to what you’ve accomplished during this whole sorry debacle: spending money on frivolities for yourself that your children earned by being forced to have their childhoods broadcast for the entire planet to watch. By being forced to be a brand simply by virtue of their birth. A car commercial with cutesy names. A new brand of carpet cleaner in matching clothing. continue


Submitted by Laura Linger

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Laura Linger said...

This recap is dedicated to Kate Gosselin’s New And Improved Breasts, without whom this episode clearly would not have been possible, given the level to which they were displayed. Well done, Ms. Gosselin! Yes, they sure are round and perky and plump, and we all noticed; how could we not? They’re a metaphor, actually, a temporary testament to what you’ve accomplished during this whole sorry debacle: spending money on frivolities for yourself that your children earned by being forced to have their childhoods broadcast for the entire planet to watch. By being forced to be a brand simply by virtue of their birth. A car commercial with cutesy names. A new brand of carpet cleaner in matching clothing.

The not-a-nanny is on duty at Exploitation Acres, because the girl ‘tups are sporting spiffy ornate hairstyles. Joel and Leah tell the camera that they are all dressed and ready to go out with their succubus mother to buy “stuff for gymnastics.” Leah is so excited, she can barely contain herself. She smiles and jumps up and down for her good friends on the camera crew. You know the camera crew: more adults using her for her fleeting money-making capabilities who are only temporarily a part of her life and who will inevitably vanish like so many others before them.

It’s so sad, so tragic, when a child’s only constant in her life is her mother’s hideous hairstyle. And indeed, it is hideous in this episode. The only other time that I have seen it looking worse was the infamous Emeril episode. It’s the same general look here, and Kate should totally avoid both her hairdresser and camera shots in profile: dark brown and blond stripes, that asinine flap of hair, the Johnny Rotten Goes To Supercuts spiky back, the shaved You’re In The Army Now back, so forgotten and neglected that it might as well be named Joel.

Cut to Kate, who tells the audience that Leah has been begging to join a gymnastics club. Kate says that she decided to sign up the whole brood for the sport. You know, because no Gosselin child is permitted to be his or her own person now, with his or her own interests. It was decided early on in a TLC board room that Leah was the little princess. This gymnastics request caused some consternation. Do little princesses do sports? How can she have her own likes and dislikes? Is this a sign of the apocalypse? Maybe if we make it a family affair, our pigeonholing that we dreamt up when the kids were two and a half can still hold. Can Hannie be persuaded to put down the towels she is folding long enough to climb up on a balance beam? And where does The Little Professor fit in? He’s quiet, that one; he’ll go along with whatever we tell him to do.

So the whole Gosselin gang (well, not the whole Gosselin gang, as Jon is off hosting a party for his fellow H-listers with Michael Lohan, or something: DoucheFest 2009, sponsored by Massengil “Pop Out A Litter And Remain Morning Fresh!”) is off to a Leah-tard store for Hannah-tards and Mady-tards and Lexi-tards. I guess the endorsement deal with Wal-Mart is off the table, because that is where I or anyone else with a lick of sense would have probably gone to buy kids such gear. Especially if you are feeling the economic pinch, like so many of us are these days, myself included. Certainly we would not go to a specialty store for dance costumes, which is where Kate takes them. Isn’t kids’ gymnastics about getting dirty and tumbling and playing? Does it make sense to invest in the Kerri Strug line of gymnastics wear when only one of your children has expressed a passing interest in it?

Laura Linger said...

But not without a stern admonishment from Succubus to the kids first (“excusemethankyouI’mtalking,” all one nasty snide word, and no kidding? You never shut up, Kate), followed by a hollow ring of what Kate believes “laughter” is directed to her adoring camera crew over something Mady says about the carrot being dangled in front of their eyes in exchanged for “choosing nicely” at the Leah-tard store. You know, because it makes such sense to expect them to “choose nicely” for specialized sports attire when you have refused to permit those kids any control whatsoever in their personal lives thus far.

It’s obvious that Kate’s handlers have advised her that the way she should deal with Mady when the cameras are rolling is just to laugh uproariously when Mady is being Mady. Except you can tell that Kate thinks Mady’s take on her whole sorry life is anything but funny. Kate’s mouth twists, and she chortles, but there is Stone Cold Dead behind her eyes.

Cut to the store, and Kate with a very nice and helpful saleslady, and eight bored children wandering about nearby. Kate babbles the following nonsensical tidbit: “Guys, can we kind of…disperse? ‘Cause we’re taking up the whole store here.” Um, would “dispersing” mean that they would take up even more of the store’s space? Kate, it’s generally an accepted practice in all languages to understand the words you say before you, you know, actually attempt to use them in a meaningful way.

Then Kate says something that a) gives me a total coronary because I am a writer and an English major and, well, an articulate human being; and b) manages to be so simultaneously obnoxious and self-serving that it makes me want to run to Home Depot and buy a chainsaw so I can go on a grammar-induced rampage on the streets of downtown Phoenix, thus assuring my place in the annals of true crime, my own episode of Snapped, familiarity with Bill Kurtis on a first-name basis, and a Wikipedia entry devoted to “Laura ‘Little Leatherface’ Linger.” Maybe even a ballad, devoted to me, penned and sung by my idol, Neil Young!

What’s that you say? “More like, John Mayer”? Screw you guys, I’m going home!

The cause of all of this consternation? “Grouchish.” No, that isn’t a typo. It’s another one of Kate’s cutesy-wutesy scripted “fetches” that are never going to happen. It’s impossible to say without vomiting (works better than an ipecac syrup margarita. I’ve found), it’s an affront to all that is honest decent and true in this lousy world, and it just plain sucks. I hate contrivances, and Kate Gosselin is one huge humorless contrivance. So Kate is feeling “grouchish” because she is on an outing with her children, having to deal with the reality of her reproductive folly up close and personal.

And I am having to recap her drivel, which makes me feel “homicidish,” not “grouchish,” but I think we’ve already covered my Kate-related fantasies involving gory 1974 film classics and my beloved hometown.

Did I mention that Kate was smacking on the chewing gum the entire time she was in the Leah-tard store? No? She was. Now, ordinarily I would not be so judgmental. I have been a gum chewer ever since I gave up my two-pack-per-day habit twenty years ago. There’s just something about the way Kate chomps that grates on my nerves, and since this is likely my last recap ever for Gosselins Without Pity, I’m pulling out all of the proverbial stops with the Kate criticisms.

Laura Linger said...

Kate and the eight arrive at Austin’s Restaurant and Bar, located in nearby Reading, PA. Because of the mess Kate has made of her life and of her children’s lives (I refuse to recount her horror at “the beast,” i.e., the media frenzy surrounding her lives, as anything but a ridiculous quagmire of her own making), she and the children are virtually prisoners in their McMansion. Doing something as mundane as eating out at a family-style restaurant is a rare treat. The brood draws the requisite attention from the other patrons. I wonder if the camera crew had anything to do with it? My money is on Yes.

Wanna see the menu (complete with prices) for Austin’s? It’s here:

http://www.jbdawsons.com/austins/menu/pdfs/austins.pdf

(By the way, I applaud Austin’s for having a gluten-free menu.)

The waitress, Sweet Rebecca, approaches the table and Kate says, in one of her oh-so-hilarious-yet-entirely-unmirthful remarks, “Don’t be afraid of the jungle. It’s all right.” Ah, but you see, Kate says that, but she means the exact opposite. This is her reason for being, situations like this. Single mom, eight kids, what a wacky life! And yes, they are a jungle, full of animals with terrible table manners, not allowed to order for themselves, applauded by their mother only when they are quiet, certainly not expected to converse the way that my five-year-old nephew does. They’re the Gosselin Eight. A jungle. Mere cogs in a money-making machine for TLC. They’re the Von Trapp Family sans the talent, but with their own television show, which, in the United States, is even better than having talent.

Sweet Rebecca begins to take their order, and we jump to everyone already having drinks. Bread has not been delivered to the table yet for the hungry kids to snack on, but damned if Kate Gosselin doesn’t have some sort of super yummy-looking appetizer at her side! A quick perusal of the menu makes me think that they are the Buffalo Chicken Bites, without the dressing. Which would be very Kate, wouldn’t it? Food for herself, but none of the great gooey fatty stuff that makes that food so tasty. Note to self: always remember that Kate! Is! A! Star! and therefore cannot fully enjoy food. That’s why my ass is chubby and Kate’s isn’t. I wonder who has a happier life?

Here is my favorite part of the episode, learning what Kate Gosselin thinks is enough food for her six growing little tups:

Three orders of macaroni and cheese
Two chicken sandwich meals
Three portions of steamed broccoli (FUN!)
Two portions of french fries
All from a children’s menu

Strangely, when Kate says “with fries” to Sweet Rebecca, TLC cut the audio. Too bad they didn’t do the same with the video, when we cut to Kate serving up Hannie her own honkin’ platter of french-fried deliciousness (very little green on that plate!). Kate passes each child their dinner, but Hannie gets served personally.

Mady orders a cheeseburger with fries, and does so plain as day, but Kate still has to snipe at the child to look up as she speaks. Mady, flustered, orders again, but stutters slightly and says “flies” instead of “fries.” Kate says, in what her acting coaches taught her is a Joking Fashion, “Do you want flies, or fries?”

Mady laughs. “Fries!” She explains.

Kate The Complete Idiot, however, does not understand when a joke has run its course. “Because I’m sure they could arrange for flies.” I’m not quite sure who she is joking with, though, because she is searching for her camera crew when she says this. Poor Kate. What’s the point of joking with anyone if a camera isn’t there to capture for all eternity how super duper funny you are? That could have been one for her audition reel!

Laura Linger said...

“Girls, could you have a vegetable, please?” Kate asks Mady and Cara. “WHY?” cries Mady. Silly Mady, you would think by now that working dinners are never a treat. You always have to schmooze the boss and eat the appetizer he orders for the table and pretend to like it, all the while laughing at his jokes and marveling at his fishing stories. Get with it, kid. You should know by now how this business works. Mommy’s Handlers advised her that one of the tabloids made a comment about your lack of vegetables in your diet, so you’re eating broccoli, okay? Put up and shut up like your sister does when she goes to her Quiet Place inside her mind and her face goes expressionless, or TLC will include you in the lawsuit against Daddy, you little brat!

Kate passes out buttered bread. In a voiceover, she marvels that she could take care of her eight children without Jon. Why, it’s almost as if Jon wasn’t necessary at all, save for that pesky “insemination” stuff. By the way, Kate did not do it all herself. The not-a-nanny was there, just off camera, and it looks like Sweet Rebecca did almost all of the actual serving. Except for Hannie, of course.

After the break, any sane members of the viewing audience were no doubt creeped out at the sight of little girls being filmed as they stripped down to their unnerwears to change into their Leah-tards. The Gosselin Eight, along with their Starbucks-swilling succubus, have arrived at the gymnasium to start gymnastics! There really isn’t much to say other than the kids have a ball as their instructors put them through their paces. Mady is such a little flirt and obviously has developed a little crush on her teacher, who is kind of cute. She and Cara have their own private instruction. I wonder if this was decided for them, as there are clearly other girls their age at the gym. There is a heartbreaking shot where Cara and Mady are leaving the gym, much to the amusement of the other girls, who are watching them with folded arms and whispers. And for that, and that alone, may you burn in hell, Kate Gosselin.

Kate, of course, insists upon staying while the kids are doing their thing. There’s been some speculation that this is because Kate is legally obligated to be there with the filming. I am much more cynical than that. Kate has never given a hot damn in a whorehouse before about anything “legalish” when it comes to filming her children. Why start now? I think she is there because she loves the attention. Nothing more. Nothing less.

What follows next could be called Exhibit A in Kate Gosselin (aka “Queen Freebie Irene,” aka “The Succubus,” aka “Keight”) versus Jon Gosselin in a custody hearing. The segment is certainly is intended to portray Jon’s parenting in a poor light. And it backfires. Big time.

Oh, the horrors! Jon takes the kids to a Double A baseball game, the Reading Phillies! Joel scrapes his knee (don’t feel bad, Joel. I slipped and fell at a Diamondbacks game two years ago and I still have a little rosebud on my knee to show for it. It’s a mark of pride, a badge for our national pasttime). Without panic, drama, angst, or hilarious asides to the camera crew, Jon quietly and quickly cleans Joel’s wound and bandages it. Jon advises the kids to be careful on steps. He hugs his kids a lot. The kids hug him. Jon teaches the kids to wear catcher’s mitts. The kids seem much more relaxed and happy to be with Jon. They interact with each other more freely. The kids get to meet some of the minor league players, who are wonderful to the kids.

My favorite moment is when a big tall player, Q, and his manager, Mike Robinson, talk to Collin about the food he likes. “We only get peanut butter and jelly,” Q tells Collin. “What’s your favorite food?”

“Peanut butter and jelly,” Collin says, in awe.

Laura Linger said...

What a terrible father, allowing those kids to eat hot dogs, pretzels, chips, and peanuts at a ball park! The kids sit with the setting sun on their faces, chomping down on the delicious concession stand food. On a very personal note, this reminds me of my childhood in Indiana and Ohio, watching baseball and softball games at the neighborhood ball diamond in the summertime. There is nothing that tastes better to me than a hot dog and a beer at the old ball game. Judging by the contentment on the Gosselin kids’ faces, they share my sentiments here. Well, except for the beer. That’s for later, when they are 16 and have fake IDs.

It must be noted that Kate Gosselin did call the concession stand ahead of time to inquire about the possibility of serving steamed broccoli, but the owners of said stand are avid readers of Gosselins Without Pity, and denied her request with a flourish.

Aaden, Joel, Mady and Cara get to throw out first pitches, and the remaining tups cheer loudly for their brothers and sisters. While seated on a couch, alongside two squealing siblings, Collin tells the camera that “they were so good!”

And it was here, folks, that I started to get a little choked up.

Jon recounts some of the other delicacies the Gosselin kids enjoyed that day at the ball park: funnel cake, sausage sandwiches, cheesesteaks. “Whatever you like, you eat. It’s like a buffet,” Jon says.

The asshole TLC editors then cut to little Collin, who tells the camera, “I had a belly ache. Matt, If you’re so hungry and you eat all day, you’re going to get a belly ache.” Now, who does THAT sound like? Can you imagine how that little gem of knowledge was imparted to Collin upon his return to the McMansion after spending the day with his father? For that, TLC suits and camera crews, may you rot in hell alongside your beloved succubus. All of you deserve each other.

Maybe those kids wouldn’t get a stomach ache at places like the ball park if their custodial parent was not such a hypocritical freak about food and portions. Broccoli with a hamburger and fries, indeed.

The kids get to meet Screwball, the mascot. Collin cautiously inquires whether there is a person inside the suit, likely because the word “screwball” usually has something to do with Kate for the Gosselin children.

“Why does he never blink?” Collin asks. It’s actually hilarious. He clearly stymies the adults there, including the one in the suit. Finally Collin just hugs Screwball.

The kids hug another mascot at the game. This one is a large dog that Alexis has taken a shine to. She really is a beautiful little girl with a whopper of a personality. The only right thing Kate Gosselin has ever said was when she coined that one “Sassy.”

Joel hugs the dog and says, “I wish you were OUR dog.”

Laura Linger said...

Next up is a duck, which is Collin’s favorite. Jon explains that at the farm club games, mascots from all over Pennsylvania come to entertain in the crowd. I can just feel the balminess of the night air, I can hear the crack of the bat, I can feel the bench seats. If you are reading this, Jon Gosselin, and I know that you are, listen to me: it’s stuff like this that gives your children a lifetime of wonderful memories. It isn’t about freebies or goodies or cameras or paparazzi (who were conspicuously absent at the ball game, did you notice?). It’s about being a kid, going to the ball park with your Dad. That’s all you need when you are a kid. It’s the stuff your children will remember when you are no longer around. I speak from firsthand experience here, Jon Gosselin. My Dad died over a decade ago and the things that I remember most are the moments that we shared that didn’t involve a cent. Conversations we had, jokes we shared. Hugs. You’ve done some really stupid, selfish things, but I think you get it now.

Joel sits with his father, intently watching the game, but I think that it had more to do with being with his Daddy than any serious interest in the sport. He’s five; that’s the way it should be. And again, TLC, we get your disapproval, as you are quick to include Jon’s comment about how the other kids were just running around the ball park. You know what? I hope they had a hell of a good time, skinned knees, belly aches, bug bites, all of it. Jon says that he wasn’t sure if all of the kids would enjoy going to the ball game, but that he wanted the kids to experience it for themselves and make up their own minds.

You know, growing up. Being an individual instead of two-dimensional network flackery. Learning to be independent and that an entire day isn’t “spoiled” by a skinned knee. Living your life for yourself, instead of millions of mouth-breathers, myself included.

Jon Gosselin, for his many faults, gets this. And he’s getting sued for millions by TLC for it.

Kate Gosselin, for her many faults, doesn’t, and she never will. And she’s supposedly getting her own show from TLC for it.

Why? What is so difficult to figure out here?

For me, it’s as simple as the difference between steamed broccoli during a silent dinner on camera as the shrew you call Mother portions out mandarin slices while sitting off by yourself in a restaurant because you are the constant target of whispers and looks and paparazzi photographs, and a ballpark hotdog before running around with your brothers and sisters to play with all of other the kids on a warm summer night. And to think, the media and TLC and Kate Gosselin are crucifying Jon? Were any of the adults who have wreaked havoc with these eight young lives…TLC executives, Kate Gosselin…ever children themselves?

Anonymous said...

Awesome

Laura Linger has just given us the definitive sine qua non JK+8 review.

Let me just add that the kids going to a minor league baseball game, with the knee scrape, the gorging on food, the getting sick, the hugging of mascots, the somewhat pandemonium of 8 kids at a ballgame - that is the show i watched and loved. Seeing succubus stage things and spend more time acting, is not. The best part of the show, except for the kids at the ball park was john's comment on the county they were in and planning at breakfast to eat lunch - he is not playing it up for the camera, he is playing it up for the kids. If he goes and dates women outside the marriage because he wants a companion, I am cool with that.

goawayfools said...

Beautiful. And Jon WAS awesome.

Four More Beers said...

A-MEN, sister! No one could have said it better. I just truly hope that Jon does read this blog (or at least Rabbi Shmuley)....

Susy said...

My hat is off to Laura Linger--that was an excellent recap. I didn't watch the show but I have "seen" the whole thing in my head thanks to your words. TLC, can't this end now, please?

Sidney said...

Thanks, Laura. Very fun to read!

Moi said...

'so forgotten and neglected that it might as well be named Joel.'

Hahahaha! That made me laugh. The entire recap was great! I'll miss these recaps once the show is done for.

goawayJandK said...

Laura,

I've been reading your comments here for a long time now and they never cease to impress.

I was not surprised at all to read that you have a writing background - you have such a gift !

Your recap was snarkalicious !

Denise said...

Great recap!

There were actually 11 at Austins. If you check the video, there are 8 children's cups and 3 adults. I guess Steve got camera shy!

And the kids macaroni and cheese comes with broccoli and mandarin oranges.

The kids had bread, a bun, french fries and macaroni. A little starchy!!

Corinne said...

WOW! What a great recap! I got the whole "Jon and Kate" experience just from that, because I have a bitter taste in my mouth...I can only imagine what I'd be tasting if I watched the whole stupid episode..

Miss said...

Laura,
This was the most brilliant re-cap that I have ever read! You are an amazing writer. Leah tard cracked me up as did excusemethankyouI'mtalking.

KUDOS TO YOU!

jayley said...

Laura, so funny! Wish I was at a ballpark right now. You're so descriptive and the English Major I always wished to be.


YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

Barbara said...

Thank you, thank you for one of the best recaps ever. I didn't and haven't watched in months and I so appreciate reading what life is really like for the Gosselin children from the eyes of someone who sees Kate so clearly. It sounds as though even though TLC was trying to destroy Jon, they wound up showing Kate in not such an endearing way. How could they? She doesn't have an endearing bone in her lousy body. Go away Kate, far far away. Preferably to North Korea.

livnluv said...

Who would have thought that all that Jon bashing that went on Monday night could be dismissed in a single sweep by a dad and his kids and a warm summer night at the ballpark.

Your review was astounding.

Stephanie said...

AMAZING recap!!! Laura Linger, YOU ROCK!

Angel1 said...

This review was made of win, Laura Linger! Succubus is such a wonderful word for Khate. I just hope those kids can get some kind of help in the future in dealing with all of the damage this idiot has done to them.
I also, will miss the recaps when the show ends.

Donna said...

Sorry, I missed it, you did mention the not a nanny. I just think it's so weird that she wasn't sitting there throughout the entire beginning and then was there at the very end.

tomo718 said...

Laura,
Thank you for the recap.
I just found my 2 new favorite descriptions for Witch Gosselin.

Gosselin 8's Starbucks-swilling succubus with the mallard ass on the back of her head.

That filming of the girls striping down is enough for me to slap the crap out of TLC and the Succubus.
Lord protect those kids.

dustilies said...

Dear Laura,

Absolutely brilliant writing!

My only problem is that I am reading it while perched in the top bunk of my daughters' bunkbeds, since one of them has a cold with a terrible cough that makes her gag, so I'm staying with her tonight to make sure she stays propped up on her pillows.

(Yeah, yeah, I know a lonely night on the laundry room floor builds character, but my mommy skills are woefully impaired by the ridiculous amount of love I feel for my kids).

So, anyway, the problem is that I was shaking the whole frame of the bunkbeds with my suppressed giggles, guffaws, and snorts. I was really worried I was going to wake both girls up. The last time I remember having to suppress so much laughter so unsuccessfully was when I read a piece by David Foster Wallace (A Supposedly Fun Thing I Will Never do Again--about cruise ships). I hope you'll take that as a heartfelt, even awestruck, compliment. The part about Collin praising his sibs was really touching, too.

Thanks so much for doing this for all of us!

NoUse4Kate said...

That was well written, thanks for taking the time to share it with us. I cracked up when I read this:

____________________________


"Kate has never given a hot damn in a whorehouse before about anything “legalish” when it comes to filming her children. "

____________________________


The phrase, "Can I get an Amen!" popped into my head. lol

Has anyone read what the ratings were this past Monday? When you don't hear much about them that usually indicates poor numbers. (which you already know...) K8 won't be able to carry a show by herself if that is what TLC was hoping for. These past few weeks have progressively gotten worse and the she left a foul taste in a lot of people's mouths from the articles I have read online. The only ones that seem to still think she is great are people like BM and those that post at ROL (which are probalby TLC interns)

Eat your vegetables said...

Wow! Thank you. Reading your recap evoked every type of emotion in me. You have managed to sum up why I haven't stopped rooting for Jon despite his poor choices in just one episode. This is a truly perfect summary of such an imperfect situation. I think I'll go give my sleeping daughter an extra kiss tonight.

Can't See Sheep said...

Wonderful recap Laura! Most certianly this one is going down as a favortie of mine. so many great lines, very vivid & immensely entertaining.

If TLC & kate were hoping that this would point out the vast differences between how Jon & kate interact with the children, they they have most assuredly succeeded, but I doubt it was in the way they were hoping.

kate's joyless table at the restaurant & Jon's happy outing at the ballpark, they are night & day. If I were a judge I would strongly recommend that Jon be home to take care of his children & I would give him a few encouraging compliments on how he is with his children, as it was clear that he was treated as a thankless workhorse when he spent those 2 years looking after the kids while kate was out doing her appearances. I'd let him know that yes, sometimes it can probably feel like a thankless job at times, but he was on the right track & doing well with them & that, that is what they're going to remember & have fond memories of.

kate's got no business being the one who looks after these children on a daily basis, especially after seeing what she fed them at the restaurant, it was even less than I first suspected, that's just downright frightening.

Looking at the menu (damn it, now I'm hungry, it's midnight & I have yet to find a good burger joint in this town) is she had to insist on a vegetable, which seems insane as this is supposed to be a rare treat for these kids, if she had to insist on a vegetable then why not the caesar salad or something similar & divide that up, why on earth broccoli? (yep, I know when I think rare treat, broccoli is the first thing that leaps to my mind) At least the salad goes better with the burgers, the woman is just plain weird.

thehazlettfamily said...

Laura, Thank you so much for the recap. I had to contain my laughs as dh is sleeping next to me.
I'm so glad Jon took the kids to a ballgame and a bellyache afterwards is a rite of passage. My son has yet to return from a Pirates game with one, but I hope that someday he does as it means he had a ball trying everything. And my most vivid memory is of going to Fort Myers Beach in the summer and stopping at a little ice cream shop, named Love's that made homemade ice cream on the way home. We never ate there except on our beach trips and it was a prize. We were on our best behavior all day so that my mom would stop there. She probably would have no matter what, but the threats were enough to keep us in line. I will miss your writing Laura, I could never say thank you enough for enduring this. One question though...was Kate right by the kids during gymnastics or did she sit with the other parents away from the learning area? I know when I go to gym practices with my niece or daughter, all parents have to sit in a waiting area upstairs.

A Recap Fan said...

Really wonderful recap Laura! I did not see the show but the way you illustrated the contrast between the "Gymnastics" and the "Baseball" game was perfect.

Thank you for sharing it with us.

fidosmommy said...

Somehow, for me, steamed broccoli kind of takes the fun out of a kids' menu item. For criminey's sake, Kate, how often do your children get to eat in restaurants anyway? Why can't they just get what they want? Feed them their broccoli tomorrow in the little corner compartment of their prison issue divided plates, but let them enjoy a meal out without you running interference. What a killjoy.

These are children being wired for
food issues when they reach their teen years.

Brummygirl said...

Laura that was brilliant!! Thank you.

lara said...

These kids will never have their "College Fund" the way she spends money- on HERSELF!! I hope she took notes from "The Real Housewives of OC" Most of them are now broke and can't afford their homes, let alone $450.00 shoes!!! I can see these kids suing their pitiful parents for misrepresentation, explotation & defrauding them of "their" money when they turn 18!!! "Mommy- Daddy, what happened to all the money we made?" "oh kiddies, mommy needed bubbies, the tummy tuck was free, but he wouldn't throw in the bubbies! And look at all of my new clothes & shoes- they were all for you! And Daddy, well what can I say- I kicked him out because my girl-friend Jamie needed a place to live & Jon wouldn't kiss my super special huge hiney anymore! I did it all for you....Now go get a job!"

Canadian Mom said...

Hannah was 'cued' by a TLC PA when asking Jon for that popsicle.

You can clearly see her looking just off-camera before starting to speak....

Pamela Jaye said...

Laura - so funny!

One thing

"Being a writer and an English major and an articulate human being"

I was surprised to find you home from the hospital so soon after Kate "[gave you] a total coronary"!

but hey, at least you didn't crucify the word "literally" in the process ;-)

I'm still reading, and loving it. (seriously, it's so good, i'm saving it)
Thanks for recapping!

Pamela Jaye said...

finally finished reading.
Brava, Laura!!

Enjoy YOURSELF said...

Loved the recap!

And totally agree about the memories Jon is creating with those kids with something as simple as a ballgame and letting them pig out on ballpark food, run around, get dirty, skinning their knees and who cares? That's how I remember my childhood and some of the best memories are going to my brother's little league games. I never watched; just loved pigging out on candy from the snack shack and climbing up the back of the bleachers with the other kids. That's what a normal childhood is all about.

No, Kate will never get it, nor will TLC.

EnjoyYOURSELF said...

"That filming of the girls striping down is enough for me to slap the crap out of TLC and the Succubus.
Lord protect those kids."

I don't know how I missed this part; they are still filming them undressing at age 5-1/2??? What; they couldn't have worn the Leah tards with some shorts over them to the gym??

EnjoyYOURSELF said...

"if she had to insist on a vegetable then why not the caesar salad or something similar & divide that up, why on earth broccoli? (yep, I know when I think rare treat, broccoli is the first thing that leaps to my mind) At least the salad goes better with the burgers, the woman is just plain weird."

Or cole slaw maybe?

I have never seen parents do this with kids on restaurant outings. Never. That's why they have kids menus; age-appropriate meals that kids can choose themselves.

readerlady said...

Laura, awesome recap! Your description of the ballgame took me back to age 4 and MY first baseball game with my father (AND my mother, because girls do too like baseball). I still remember it vividly, after all these years. And it started my lifelong love of baseball and the Cincinnati Reds. You are so right that the little things, the times spent with parents that are fun, non-judgmental, and just the quiet times (or as quiet as you can get at a baseball game) are the things you remember. Not the expensive trips spoiled by Mommy's anal-retentiveness. Jon is soooooo the better parent. Can you imagine the meltdown if Joel had skinned his knee on Khate's watch? Your description of Khate's time with the kids is all too vivid, too, and reading about the little girls stripping down in front of God and everyone gave me the cold grues. I certainly hope SOMEONE is teaching those kids about "good touch/bad touch", because Khate is setting them up to be prime candidates for a pedophile.

Oh no, I'm reading/watching too much "Gosselin". Yesterday I caught myself telling a friend I might be "latish" for our lunch date, because I had a doctor's appointment. Help me!

For the Moment? said...

Thanks Laura. I felt like I was there at ballgame. I love the way that Jon handles the children. He doesn't make a big deal about it, doesn't herd them, stage them, line them up, shush them or call them a jungle or a zoo. He doesn't play favorites or underfeed them and just lets them be themselves and have fun.

Script Reading said...

It was SO obvious that Kate was reading from a script. Who needs a SCRIPT to talk about their everyday life?!

cdnmom47 said...

What a talent you have, Laura Linger! I think I went through all of the emotions while reading your re-cap! I loved each and every sentence. "Johnny Rotten goes to Supercuts" along with so many others made my coffee come through my nose as I lay reading this in my dark bedroom at 5a.m. this morning! :)

I don't watch the show as Kate's voice and mean-ness make me physically ill...I can only imagine how those poor kids feel.

They need a break...they need life with dad, away from the drama, coldness and nut we call Khate.

Jabberwocky said...

Awesome recap! the perfect jab with a sharp stick that Khate needs!!

NCLindsey said...

Thank you for the wonderful recap Laura! I almost choked on my coffee this morning when I read the Mean Girls "Fetch" reference! :) I haven't watched in over a year - thank you for the vivid detail.

Vanessa said...

Loved the recap, you are very talented! Yes, she's been using the word "disperse" for some time now. She tries so hard to sound intelligent all the while she's smacking her gum like a two-bit tramp.
Loved your intro about dedicating this episode to her breasts!! lol!
Yes, she's into all things symbolic, she should explain what those puppies are symbolic of!

KatyKat said...

They filmed the girls STRIPPING DOWN TO THEIR UNDERWEAR?? What sort of sick mother allows this? I don't care how old they are, it's inappropriate!

eileen said...

Laura ~ Wow...your recap was beyond entertaining but so chock full of the differences in the parenting of the same children... I hope Jon and his *advisors* come to this site...there is more sense written and said here for these innocent children than has ever been spoken publicly by either parent.

MBach said...

Tears are streaming down my face. This recap is so moving. Laura has completed a perfect contrast between using and controling your children, to loving them and letting them enjoy life a little.

Little things do mean so much.

My heart breaks for these children. They have so much in material things, and still have so little in the things that matter. Someone to listen to them, someone to help them learn and experiece the world, someone to just put them first with love as the reason. I haven't watched the show in over a year, but Laura's recap brought back all my favorite memories of how sweet these kids started out. They are the pawns.

Jon has faults and has made mistakes, which he has acknowledged and apologized for; but he does love his kids for the right reasons. I hope and pray this show with the kids is over. I hope and pray it is not too late.

Also, thank you for the word succubus. I have had a little trouble calling her mother in my comments, and have added (gag, cough) or called her a birth vessel instead. Succubus is perfect.

groovymom00 said...

Laura that was a truly awesome recap. You pointed out so many things that needed to be said. I don't care what Jon does in his dating life, but no one can possibly watch him and say that he is not a great dad. The body language of those children are proof positive of that. I hope Kate and TLC get the Karma payback they deserve some day.
Bravo Laura!

HW said...

What a fantastic recap.

I did not watch the episode but your description of Kate mocking Mady, when slipped up in ordering fries, made me cringe.

How can a mother take such delight in embarrassing her own child? If my daughter had done that and been a little embarrassed I would have said something like "Oh. we all do that some times," and then give an example.

Kate Gosselin and TLC are destroying those children one film frame at a time.

BarbMae said...

Thank you for the recap. It enforces things that I missed. I hope that Kate will keep up the gymnastics for the kids cause they really enjoyed it. Mady and Cara smiling warmed my heart and the tups being their "old cute selves" was awesome. Poor Joel, isn't he the one who said in one episode that he falls every day? Poor baby. I just ignore the snipes that were taken at Jon and Kate being rude/or in her own way amusing to the "common people" that she encountered were being filmed also it was great to see the kids being what they started out to be, cute, adorable, and normal kids. Joel watching w/Jon brought a tear to my eye. But, one thing that wasnt in the recap was why was Hannah making the "korean" expression w/her eyes? What was up with that?? We still have to endure the antics of Mutt and Jeff for the next few months but hopefully the kids will be able to just be kids during the process and get to enjoy the holidays w/o media attention.

annabanana said...

That recap was more than "awesomeish". It was "delightfulish"!

Seriously, you hit it all. The points that should have been made (i.e. about the small food portions with Kate vs. the fun time and junk food with Jon). And I actually got a little teary when you wrote about making memories with your parents. My dad passed away 18 mo. ago to cancer unexpectedly and it really hit home, and for that, I thank you, Laura!

annabanana said...

Oh, and my opinion on why Kate had to be by the tups side at gymnastics? She doesn't want any "ordinary" people to talk to the tups alone and be able ask them questions about their lives or the show, etc. She has to shield them from letting out any truths and keep the spin up for the public and paparazzi attention.

Cora, Iowa said...

And what if Khate had a boobjob? If she had them done it was all and alone out of love and for the good of her kids!!! Nothing says more I love you to a five year old than a mom with perky puppies hanging out of her shirt. Ohyeah, maybe steamed broccoli on a dinner out!

mommadiane5 said...

By the way, I read on Z on TV that the numbers were 1.9 for the 1st episode and 2.3 for the 2nd. Does that mean that Jon's episode beat Kate's?

Laura, the recap was wonderful.I loved it. Thank you so much!

rural mom said...

Great recap Laura,I only wish we could all have a front two seat when Kate gets a clue. She is moronic, dumb and wierd, period, no ish required.

dogsandkids said...

thanks so much for the recap!! It was so awesome that it almost made me wish for the show to continue so that I could read more recaps like that. The first line set me off laughing and giggling. Minor league ball games, eating all the food, running around, hugging mascots-summertime doesn't get any better than that. Thanks, Jon, for giving that experience to your kids.

AMEN!! said...

Beautiful Laura. Beautiful.

No more brocccoli said...

Laura GREAT re-cap! So mommy Kate just had to be there with her children during gymnastics? Forget about being with her young 8 children on the slopes of Utah while they were scared and cold.

mommadiane5 said...

Anonymous KatyKat said...

They filmed the girls STRIPPING DOWN TO THEIR UNDERWEAR?? What sort of sick mother allows this? I don't care how old they are, it's inappropriate!

That really bothered me, too. It was bad enough when they were 2, but 5. If Kate wants to have pictures of her in her underwear out there forever...that's fine with me. But, 5 yr. old girls should be protected. Could that be considered kitty porn? I'm sure there are plenty of weird people who would get off on it.

I'd like nothing better than to see Kate and TLC be held accountable for their actions/choices.

Im_in_PR said...

I think I already said this, but great recap Laura.

However, COME ON PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!

If the worst thing Kate ever does is feed her kids broccoli, there wouldn't be a reason for this blog. Maybe she wanted them to have something green because she knows their home diet is so sparse. But for whatever reason she ordered broccoli for them, is it enough to crucify her? Come on folks, drop the rocks and find something more substantial to complain about.

Also, I have a five year old. He is one month younger than the tups and very active. He NEVER finishes a kids meal.

Yeah, Kate sucks and she is a bad mother and is cold and distant to her kids and boy does it show what a better parent Jon is although as a grown man he is certainly leaving a lot to be desired. But isn't there more to complain about than the fact that her kids split a meal and had a bite or two of broccoli?

Just sayin'.....

Pa Mom Knows said...

"It was SO obvious that Kate was reading from a script. Who needs a SCRIPT to talk about their everyday life?!"

Especially since it's just a documentary, right? Nothing is scripted...it's just a day in the life of the realest reality show family. Nobody is "working" there!

Jersey said...

Laura, you are truly gifted. Thank you for sharing with us.

SuzieO said...

I enjoyed the recap very very much. I think I giggled more than ever before. I just feel the need to point out that while going to a ball game is good for the kids, what they really need is to have experiences where they are treated "normally". It is not normal to have special seats, meet the ball players, throw the ball and be on the big screen, etc., etc. and while it is totally not their fault, how can they avoid feeling "entitled" when everywhere they go they get special treatment while their peers look on.

Hopefully this will change when they are no longer filmed BUT both parents want to make a career out of being a celebrity so I don't know. I don't agree that Jon "gets it now" because he is somewhat intoxicated by his popularity and doesn't get that it's not because he has some great talent. I'll be so amazed if he (or she) continue to be invited to speak or be on shows or benefits after the show stops. How long can the parents sail by on the coat tails of the shows popularity once the show stops? People have short memories in Hollywood and neither parent really has any other talent than acting foolish for the cameras.

You forgot to mention something that happened at the end that I thought was soooo very telling about Kate. She is sitting and Mady is massaging her back and the tups are massaging her feet and she says that they do this because they are aware how much stress the divorce is causing her and they want to help. Yes, Kate ... it's all about you!

I'm a Laura too! said...

Love the recap Laura!!! Not only did you give us a play by play but it was very insightful and captured what a lot of us are thinking but unable to put on paper.

I re-watched the part where they are in the restaurant and I saw that Kate already had her food before she ordered for the kids. What is wrong with her?

So was she going to eat and have the kids just sit and color while she ate. She has no empathy for her children, oh right they call that NARCISSISM.

She treats those children as if they are CHATTEL!!

It's interesting also about how they were sitting all alone in the restaurant. It's just more isolation that the kids don't need. They need to be with their own peers.

Good job Jon on the baseball game. But of course TLC has to edit it to make him look like an ass.

Good Eyes! said...

Not-a-nanny was there when TLC took the kids out to eat.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=We_lb3ueA7w&feature=related

Pause the video at 5:21 Not-a-nanny is sitting in the booth with the kids, her face is blurred. This is while Kate is putting on the poor me act, I have to do all this on my own... BS!!

tucker's Mom said...

mommadiane5 said...
Anonymous KatyKat said...

They filmed the girls STRIPPING DOWN TO THEIR UNDERWEAR?? What sort of sick mother allows this? I don't care how old they are, it's inappropriate!

You can find the clip on YouTube-it's part 2 of 3. The girls have their leotards on under their shirt and pants, so no, they do not strip down to their underwear.
I though so at first too, but no, their underwear is under thier leotards.

Im_in_PR said...

They filmed the girls STRIPPING DOWN TO THEIR UNDERWEAR?? What sort of sick mother allows this? I don't care how old they are, it's inappropriate!

And it seemed like they were sort of zooming in on their rears! I was aghast! I am ready for all kids to be off reality TV.

laura linger said...

You guys, thanks a zillion for the compliments...it keeps me off the hooch and off the streets. But I don't guarantee that I won't wield a chainsaw in the near future. That depends on Kate's continued cold-blooded murder of the English tongue.

Thanks again to the wonderful folks at GWoP for giving me the chance to write for them. I truly enjoyed being a part of the team.

Can't and won't take credit for coining "succubus" for dear Kate...someone far more talented came up with that one. However, it is so apt, I couldn't resist using it again and again.

Cheers, unlimited love to you all, and take care of yourselves.

Laura 'Little Leatherface' Linger
XOXOXOXOXO

Vanessa said...

I wonder if TLC had been behind the "Balloon Family", if the little boy would have innocently blurted out the truth? I think TLC edits out WAY more than we think!

Vanessa said...

Exactly Canadian Mom,
Hannah was cued in this episode and in the "Can-do Khate" camping one. Hannah is just standing and then goes over and says something to her Royal Hiney about how Daddy's are only able to put up tents (or something to that effect)
TLC has trying to garner support for Khate for awhile now.

Miss said...

I didn't see the stripping down to the underwear. I did see the stripping down to the Leah Tards. Did I miss something?

She's...um...RUINED said...

It just creeped me out when the kids were changing into the gym clothing...as a parent, my antennae went up....kate, why don't you just make a kiddie movie for perverts? it was revolting.

I would NEVER allow my kids around her or her kids...she is an abuser, and her kids are (God forbid) easy pickings for deviants.

She will do ANYTHING for a dollar. shameful.

just wondering said...

Though I will be tickled pinkish when this show is finally off the air forever, I will certainly miss the awsome recaps at GWOP.

To you, Laura, 3Farmers, and so many others, Well Done!

karma train said...

Miss said...

I didn't see the stripping down to the underwear. I did see the stripping down to the Leah Tards. Did I miss something?
____________

that is the scene everyone is referring to. It was showing children in the act of dressing-undressing, and it was fodder for pedophiles. It totally creeped me out. You know that feeling in your gut, that when something is wrong, you just know it? showing those kids changing was WRONG.

Chris/cacklinrosie101 said...

Bravo!

NoUse4Kate said...

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry..can we please stop demeaning succubus by comparing one to kate

__________________________________

I am sooooo glad that I didn't have anything in my mouth when I read that or my new monitor would have been ruined. LOL

hmm.. said...

tucker's Mom said...
mommadiane5 said...
Anonymous KatyKat said...

They filmed the girls STRIPPING DOWN TO THEIR UNDERWEAR?? What sort of sick mother allows this? I don't care how old they are, it's inappropriate!

You can find the clip on YouTube-it's part 2 of 3. The girls have their leotards on under their shirt and pants, so no, they do not strip down to their underwear.
I though so at first too, but no, their underwear is under thier leotards.
___________________________
Agreed , but there should have been NO CAMERAS in the DRESSING room. PERIOD.

bucky said...

Miss said...
I didn't see the stripping down to the underwear. I did see the stripping down to the Leah Tards. Did I miss something?
_____________________________
You are correct.
But Kate should not have allowed the cameras to film the children removing their outside/outer clothes even if there were leotards underneath.

This is just wrong.

mulder said...

Im_in_PR said...
And it seemed like they were sort of zooming in on their rears! I was aghast! I am ready for all kids to be off reality TV.
_________________________
They did this too in the hawaii episode, by a pool and by a beach.

Sail Away said...

Another great recap! Enjoy your writing style and humor!

My personal fave: "...never gave a hotdamn in a whorehouse before..."

Funny stuff! Really enjoy so many of the GWoP bloggers - intelligent, funny people! Thanks to all, especially Laura this time!

Annie said...

However, COME ON PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!
If the worst thing Kate ever does is feed her kids broccoli, there wouldn't be a reason for this blog. Maybe she wanted them to have something green because she knows their home diet is so sparse. But for whatever reason she ordered broccoli for them, is it enough to crucify her? Come on folks, drop the rocks and find something more substantial to complain about.
Also, I have a five year old. He is one month younger than the tups and very active. He NEVER finishes a kids meal.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I totally agree. Because portions are often large, we would order and share some stuff.

Also i would make my kids eat a veggies or 2 at each meal. Fibre helps with digestion etc

moo said...

I was annoyed/mad when Jon made fun of the guy who was dressed up as recycle man. He said something about the guy being paid enough.


Jon that man HAS a job....

bucky said...

HW said...I did not watch the episode but your description of Kate mocking Mady, when slipped up in ordering fries, made me cring


Making fun of it was funny ONCE. But to carry on like that....geez

GoPoshGo said...

And I am having to recap her drivel, which makes me feel “homicidish".....

*****************************

Laughing my ass off-ish at this line!!!! Great recap -- poignant and funny as hell.

In the Barn said...

Cynic that I've become about J&K+8, I have to wonder if TLC, not Jon, came up with the baseball idea? I mean, since we all know this ignorant program is anything BUT a 'documentary' and is planned and scripted, I have to assume TLC comes up with pretty much all of the 'concepts' (the poop displays may have been all Kate, since she is The Queen of Anal Retentives), but I'm thinking that J&K (mostly K) may toss out an idea here and there (NICU - all Kate in all likelihood, so that she could relive her glory days of all that attention on her, just HER).

Not intended as an insult to Jon, who, IMO, is the lesser of the two evils, but I just have to figure the baseball game was just one more of TLC's ideas to get that footage of film, rather than Jon coming up with the idea.

Your thoughts?

Vanessa said...

Who cares if you could or couldn't see their underwear! There should have NEVER been cameras present while they were in any state of undress, especially in a public place. What if a parent decided to take pictures of those kids because they're fans? Would that be ok? What if a creep was sitting with a camera at a public pool? What if that same creep was behind a school yard fence?

Paige (Final Clothes-Out) said...

This was my favorite recap of all time. Excellent job, in every sense.

Dunwoody Mom said...

If parents can be arrested and have their taken from them because they took pictures of their children playing in the bathtub, how can TLC get away with filming other children in various states of undress?

Seems to me CPS needs to be contacted.

Im_in_PR said...

Ok, ok, I may have to admit to being wrong about everyone complaining about the broccoli.

Looks like the TLK interns read the re-cap yesterday. Today Kate took the kids out for doughnuts.

Forgive me my GWoP friends for complaining about you all complaining about the broccoli.

I think your complaints actually bought the kids some normality for a few minutes by way of Dunkin Doughnuts!!!

For the Moment? said...

I am glad to see that I am not alone on showing the kids like that in their underweahs. They used to air the show late at night and I wondered about the judgment of that with some of the things they showed. Another time I thought it was inappropriate when Kate had Hannah (or one of them) sitting on the counter and she pulled her dress up and peeked at her underweahs and said (fake gasp) you don't have your bathing suit on which ever one it was said, Mooommmy?! The camera was right there shooting that "scene." But thought it was just me being all paranoid. I extremely leary of creepos since it all you hear on the news anymore.

mamaK said...

They have done this before. In the Cutting Room Floor episode when they showed the first trip to the beach, they filmed Jon and Kate getting the little girls suits on while the girls were standing up in the "way back" of the van. Not only did they show clips of the girls with no shirts on, but everyone at the beach that day got to see those girls business because it was easier for Kate to dress them there than in the privacy of the van. And TLC of course, showed the footage.

For the Moment? said...

Re: Hannah making Asian eyes.

My spin on it is that Kate has them in competition w/ one another as to who is the most Asianist and I wouln't put it past her to think that if Hannah does that a lot her eyes might become more Asianish. I remember at the table one time they were all trying to proclaim that each was the most Asian and I think Mady clearly won that one.

I am afraid that she is pitting them all against one another and grooming Hannah to be her little tattle tale (i.e. as in loyalty amongst the kids between her and Jon). I hate that thought but it crosses my mind everytime I see her gooing over her. I clearly hate Kate. Sorry.

readerlady said...

@ In the Barn -

The baseball game may have been TLCs idea, it may have been Jon's idea - after all, it's long been established that Jon enjoys sports and is a baseball fan - or it could possibly have been the team's ideaas a way to promote the team. I don't really care one way or the other. To me, the important thing is that the kids got to be real kids for a change. They got to eat their fill and not worry that it was "organic" or "healthy", they got to have fun, and it sounds like they actually got to interact with other children without having "overprotective" mom hovering and supervising every second. They were making memories of the kind Khate can only dream about - nonjudgmental fun with a parent.

I think the succubi of the world will object to being classified with Khate, but she certainly fits the definition, even the secondary, more obscure definition of "strumpet" or "prostitute". She may not be the legal definition of "prostitute" - selling her body for sex - but she certainly prostitutes herself to TLC for money and fame.

Fufuss said...

Loved the recap! It's so how I feel about the filming.

Yup, typical K8...boobs hangin'out(I wonder if she ever goes to PTA,reminds me of the old Harper Valley PTA song).--Then there's good old K8 getting all the attention on herself with the waitress,even...ordering broccoli for the veggie(acck! what were the tups being punished for?)...embarassing Maddy... & using her stupid "Katespeak". Then she has to be right there in the middle of the gym floor--who does that?

Jon is the better parent,it's obvious...things are not all about him.-What precious memories he makes for those kids. And the kids love him...that's obvious too.

Kate keeps trying to convince herself that everything she does is for the kids...she keeps reiterates it over & over. Jon doesn't have to do that..because that's what he does.

Don't know what K8 remembers from her childhood, but for most people, it isn't the ski trips, the large parties, or stupid"educational experiences" when you're 3 or 4. It's the every day things...& the special moment things.--But! K8 will never get that...so sorry for those kids.

Thanks Laura for the great recap...
and for reminding us of days gone by.

aimee said...

Awesome recap. I laughed,I cried...

But could someone please tell me...

Did they really film the yups as they undressed? Did that really happen?

I am struck dumb at the notion.

Pa Mom Knows said...

"If parents can be arrested and have their taken from them because they took pictures of their children playing in the bathtub, how can TLC get away with filming other children in various states of undress?

Seems to me CPS needs to be contacted."

...also FCC. Concerned viewers can file a complaint with them. You will need to report the time and date that the episode was aired.

I'm a Laura too! said...

A thought on the Nanny being at the restaurant...

Okay so if she was there maybe the film crew "directed" her not to help Kate in the restaurant so that it would appear that Kate is the struggling single parent.

Don't tell me this is reality T.V.

I didn't see the girls in their unnerwears but I did see them in leotards. They were in a changing room at the gymnastics place and the kids were already in their leotards.

anotherthing... said...

Fantastic Recap Laura!!!!!!!!!

Sounds like the game/Dad time and gymnastics class/Mom time were pretty much night and day....

...looks ike a pretty clear picture of what it must be like all the time for them.

Wow.

Charles said...

Since we have seen some of the "old crew" now with the Duggars, I would love to hear them discuss how differently the two families lives are lived.

I don't even recall hearing about "potty training" on the Duggars, but it might have happened. I certainly know they have NEVER allowed any child to be undressed in front of the camera.

Michelle wouldn't allow cameras to show her tummy when she was having ultra sounds.

Remember Kate's display of her oh-so-very-pregnant belly? (I know how difficult it was for her to be carrying so many babies at once. Seriously.)Truly.

But if the crew had been doing all the Duggar shows first, and later did J&K+8, they may have been a bit more hesitant to film all the things they did at the Gosselins. That would have been good.

Sidney said...

tomo718 said...
Laura,
Thank you for the recap.
I just found my 2 new favorite descriptions for Witch Gosselin.

Gosselin 8's Starbucks-swilling succubus with the mallard ass on the back of her head.

That filming of the girls striping down is enough for me to slap the crap out of TLC and the Succubus.
Lord protect those kids.

11/18/2009 8:51 PM
..............................

I did not know what the word succubus meant, so had to google it. My Gosh!! Hilarious. Kate to a T!

Button Button said...

Apparently BM (don't you love those initials? LOL!) thinks she is quite the personage herself. She has assured her adoring fans that she will not abandon them. Oh gee whiz. Get a life ...

For the Moment? said...

Re: Leah-tards, Lexi-tards and Hannah-tards

I think I clicked out too soon for my other post for it to stick. But just a note that I went to see if I could find the pics of the kids getting donuts and noticed that the tup girls didn't have leotards on unless they were flesh colored. I think they said they were out of them as it was off season.

This might be a duplicate post...not sure...but I had thought they had leotards on too but they didn't.

SwingsandRoundabouts said...

Laura Linger, you are great! Never mind Kate being a star. YOU!ARE!A!STAR! I want to be your friend. That was a wonderful recap and it is humbling to see a master wordsmith at work, and someone with such perception and insight to boot.

goawayJandK said...

On the subject of inappropriate shots of the kids:

The one scene that sticks out in my mind as being the most disturbing is where Mady is downstairs in the basement ALONE with the camera person. She is rolling around on the floor in her dress giving plain-as-day crotch shots, Mady wasn't saying anything, the camera person wasn't saying anything. It was really quite bizarre and disturbing to say the least.

I can't remember the episode - I just remember that Mady was inside because she was being punished (what else is new?).

amymo said...

Loved the Recap...so much so that I went to You Tube and watched the portion of Jon with his kids...but not before I caught a bit of the Gymnastics.

My daughter takes Gymnastics here in Berks County and parents are strictly prohibited from being on the 'floor'. This is for the children's SAFETY. When a child takes gymnastics they need to pay attention to the coach/instructor because even basically tumbling can cause accidents (pulled muscles etc). When a child's parent is there the parent tends to hover, the child begins to not trust the coach, etc. Kate puts herself so far above everyone, my belief is that the gym allowed her to do whatever because they just wanted the experience over.

I've been to the Reading Philly's games and the experience is just as the kids had and I'm so proud Jon did that with his children. We love our local team, and it's too bad they didn't go on a night when they do fireworks because that is TRULY awesome! ! (they do it once a week).

The kids look so happy and relaxed with their dad. He's a real person, at times a schmuck, but who isn't without fault. First and foremost he is there for his kids.

As for Kate...I'm so sick of commenting on her. She's not worth it. I've said it other times that people in Berks just don't care about her anymore. She's burnt so many bridges. It's honestly too bad.

I just pray those children can get a real childhood before it's all taken from them. They deserve to be happy. (despite who their parents are)

Pa Mom Knows said...

Regardless of whether they showed kids "stripped to their underwear" or if they were wearing leotards underneath, the cameras NEVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN THAT CHANGING ROOM!

Why was there a need to buy all new clothing at a gymnastics wear store when these kids were just getting their feet wet to decide if they even liked it? Why not wear their one-piece swimsuits, or gym shorts and a tee shirt? This reminds me of all of the expensive camping gear they purchased for that one-night campout at their "old house." Of course TLC paid for it, but good grief!

Just My Few Canadian Cents said...

"I didn't see the girls in their unnerwears but I did see them in leotards. They were in a changing room at the gymnastics place and the kids were already in their leotards."

---
I haven't had a chance to catch up on all the posts, so apologies if this has been said earlier.
I was aghast that the camera was in a changeroom! And every parent at that gym should make noise about this. Where I live, at all gyms and recreational facilities, the signs clearly state that both cameras and cell phones are banned in changerooms to prevent pictures from surreptitiously being taken of others. As an added precaution, you aren't allowed to even talk on your cell phone. So, for TLC to have their cameras filming the tups AND OTHER KIDS in the changeroom is deplorable. It doesn't help that they caught one of the Gosselins removing her shorts or pants I think. I remember thinking that is extremely inappropriate and I hope TLC is called to account for this.

livnluv said...

Dunwoody Mom said...
If parents can be arrested and have their taken from them because they took pictures of their children playing in the bathtub, how can TLC get away with filming other children in various states of undress?

Seems to me CPS needs to be contacted.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm beginning to wonder if all these protective agencies are afraid to go up against the Goliath known as TLC because they see what's happening to the father of these children who is trying to protect them from further exploitation. My sense of this is that he's out there all alone with no agency willing to back him up in his efforts. It's pitiful and a sorry statement on the effectiveness of our child protective systems. It makes me sick...

ImFrancie said...

Im_in_PR said...
I think I already said this, but great recap Laura.

However, COME ON PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!

If the worst thing Kate ever does is feed her kids broccoli, there wouldn't be a reason for this blog. Maybe she wanted them to have something green because she knows their home diet is so sparse. But for whatever reason she ordered broccoli for them, is it enough to crucify her? Come on folks, drop the rocks and find something more substantial to complain about.


*****************************

I agree, great recap! And I also agree, enough with the broccoli-bashing. I used to order a side of vegetables at a lot of restaurants when my kids were little, especially at Friendly's, where they put butter on the steamed broccoli. If not veggie, then I'd order applesauce, anything to balance out the starchy stuff. My kids have always loved broccoli, so I wasn't just ordering to make a show of being The Good Mother, which I suspect Kate was doing in the episode.

Did anyone notice whether or not the kids actually consumed the broccoli?

goawayJandK said...

A couple comments:

Regarding Hannah making "Asian eyes" : as an Asian myself, I can tell you that this gesture is considered EXTREMELY derogatory and racist. I do not blame Hannah, she is only mimicking what she has obviously been taught. I will give K8 the benefit of the doubt that she does not do this to be racist, she is just ignorant trash. Miley Cyrus was recently criticized for making the very same gesture, "all in fun".

Regarding K8 being on the gymnastics floor : it really bothers me that SO many venues basically relinquish all protocol so TLC and Queenie can film an episode:

Hershey's NICU, Ronald McDonald House, St Jude Hospital are the biggies, but then there are the smaller locales like this gymnastics center.

I would love to hear about those places that were approached by TLC and said H$LL NO !

Donuts vs. Doritos said...

I'm in PR said, "... Today Kate took the kids out for doughnuts.

... actually bought the kids some normality for a few minutes by way of Dunkin Doughnuts!!!"

****************************

When did Dunkin' Donuts go organic?

I'll have to review my nutrition data, because I didn't realize donuts were healthier for kids than the dreaded 'triangular things'.

fidosmommy said...

I didn't watch, so I don't know if the little kids actually dressed themselves or if another person was dressing them at the gymnasium.

I've been grousing for quite some time now about not allowing the kids to dress themselves.

Hoping.......

In the Barn said...

Reader Lady, thanks for your input.

Didn't see the episode, but it sounds like somehow the kids actually got a 'normal' childhood experience. Well, except that it was being filmed, which stinks.

Yet Kate is sticking to her story that she 'can't' do things without a body guard because of all the photogs. Hmmm...no mention of photogs bothering the kids at the ball game......

You have to wonder if today's donut treat ala Kate was in response to Jon getting kudos on the internet for letting the kids have a ball game dinner.

MomOf4InPA said...

Great recap Laura Linger! The only sad thing about the show ending will be the absence of wonderfully wittyish snarkyish humor at Kate's expense.

Just a side note about all the filming of the kids. For anyone who is worried about all the filming of the kids and the pedophiles and pervert out there, you need to be aware that these kids have been the topic of uncountable discussions on the sites they congregate on. It is throughly disgusting, and alot pf the various "fan pages" and youtube posts regarding individual kids are or were from these professed boy/girl lovers. I only know this because a friend of mine works for a police departments child sex crimes unit. That is when I decided I would no longer post pics of my kids on the web for all to see, and anything I put out there, is in a protected area that only family and friends have access too.

I feel sorry for these kids, but am grateful that so far nothing bad has happened to them, and I hope nothing ever does. At this point tho, they are prime targets. :(

In The Barn said...

Are these two morons still advertising that they will share Xmas with the kids?

Why not give the kids a break by allowing them to have SEPARATE holidays with each parent rather than be stuck in the middle of two parents who have so much negativity between them?

Having to spend a holiday with two warring parents sounds like a recipe for just a horrible day and terrible memories.

What is this last episode next week? Are they rerunning the one where Kate, in all her stunning intelligence, said the freebie solar panels were 'like roof jewelry'?

Yeah, Katie, that's it. Just like that hairdo of yours is 'head jewelry'.

SuzieO said...

goawayJandK- I so agree with everything you said. It has really bothered me too, especially the NICU. That she would even think it would be ok. I liked when there was a knock on the door and she chirps "come in" and the doctor opens the door and says "actually we want you to come out". You'd think she would have taken a hint but you'd be wrong.

And then you could see she was disappointed that she couldn't go in the exact same room she was in...as if the kids would care BUT she was doing for the kids.

RandomThoughts said...

So, really, wouldn't it have been MUCH easier for Kate just to order each of the kids a kid's meal and let the waitress pass them out, instead of gathering the food down at her end, divide it up for them and then pass it back?

Pedophile Paradise said...

Re: filming the kids in various stages of undress

Did you read about the U.S. Postal Service discontinuing the 'Letter From Santa' program that dates back to 1954 DUE to learning one of the volunteer Santas was a pedophile?

Kate's got The Body Guard, but WHO is watching out for 8 small kids who, with absolutely no vote in the matter, are all over TV and the internet?

NO ONE, not even the most 'Christian' could possibly be so naive as to be unaware of pedophilia.

My GOD, Kate, Leave the STICK. (we're used to it) Pull out your HEAD.

anotherthing... said...

In The Barn said:

"...Yet Kate is sticking to her story that she 'can't' do things without a body guard because of all the photogs. Hmmm...no mention of photogs bothering the kids at the ball game......

You have to wonder if today's donut treat ala Kate was in response to Jon getting kudos on the internet for letting the kids have a ball game dinner"

________________

I think you may be on to something. ;)

I, too, find it so amusing tht a) there were no paps at the game with Jon and b) donuts are suddenly organic/okay.

Oh that Katie Irene... she sure is full crap. It must be exhausting to be such a whack-a-doodle and try to keep up with the lies/facade. Id feel sorry for her if she had even just one or two redeeming qualities.

CC said...

Haven't watched in over a year and haven't read GWoP or anything to do with Khate in several weeks---couldn't sleep after reading for three hours every night :-) and was starting to feel "homicidish" (love that word Laura!) Was on vacation in Nashville to attend the CMA's and saw numerous "stars" casually walking the streets of Nashville, Brentwood and Green Hills with their families, some with children, some without and not ONE - NOT ONE bodyguard and no "p" people. Anyway, AWESOME recap and since the announcement today of NO MORE GOSSELIN children on TV, not even re-runs, I'm no longer feeling homicidish.

alana said...

About Hate insisting she stay with the kids at gymnastics:

Where else would she be? Can you imagine her sitting with the rest of the REAL PARENTS? My Gawd in heaven! What if they dared to speak to her? What if they asked her a question and expected an HONEST answer? She'd die of fright.

I think one reason Hate insists on hovering and surrounding her ugly self with her children is because SHE IS TERRIFIED of being approached by her "peers." It's the old left-over-from-childhood lack of self esteem and self worth, not to mention she lacks an IDENTITY apart from "super mom" which she isn't; Hate feels safe putting on that persona because it's the only one she has. She's the classic One-Trick pony.

IMO, this is why she was willing to go to whatever extremes necessary, i.e. lying to her OB-GYN, in order to give birth to HOM.
Remember how she expressed such concern to her mother about "not being able to get pregnant?" (Note that she wasn't worried about not "having children," but that she was concerned she wouldn't be able to "get pregnant" HA! Busted, Hate. All about you you you.) I think she was counting on motherhood, from an early age, to give her an IDENTITY and make her, finally, into someone sooo SPECIAL. What a horrible "job" to give to children that hadn't even been born yet. However, the bitch pulled it off.

lukebandit said...

laura, this is the first recap i have read that you so wonderfully wrote. it was funny and sad when you mentioned the sad things.

i agree that the difference in kate's deal and jon's deal was day and night.

kate is an anal retentive control freak who has to be in control with everything that is put in those kids mouths to when it comes out of their behinds. and wants the cameras to catch every second, in and out.

jon is (to the kids) a kind, free-spirit who loves his kids, plays with his kids and lets them eat and lets them pick and choose what they want. i was so happy that they were eating popcorn without the pink mad hatter screeching, "come get yer popcorn", hot dogs with real mustard and ketchup, funnel cakes and pretzels. no steamed broccoli.

i watched alot of the show, but i missed one of the tup boys saying about the dog mascot that he wished that he was THEIR DOG. i read it on the recap and then i remembered that he hugged the dog.

someone put what kate ordered for the kids and i cannot believe that she ordered what she did. and portions it out like that. i am surprised that she didn't do her snorting and laughing and looking at the person beside the camera and claiming credit for cooking it.
kate, you have 8 children. that was not enough food for 8 children! why don't you let them order from the child's menu and let them eat it and if there is any food left get a to go box and put it in there and take it with you HOME!
it was disgusting to see her sit and butter each piece of bread and pass it around.
kate you have some deep deep issues and those kids are going to explode when they get older. poor mady and cara can't even take a gymnastics class with other girls and have to have private instruction. see how they were folding their arms and whispering when mady and cara left. kate i promise you, you are going to burn in hell for treating your kids the way you have.

8hungrykids said...

About Collin's comment "When you're really hungry, and you eat all day you get a belly ache."

That sounded like a kid who made a deduction on his own, not necessarily something Kate told him (even though she probably does use scare tactics about food). Collin has a great memory and is so logical. When you regularly undereat, as I believe Kate forces them to do, your stomach shrinks. Then when you eat a normal amount or overeat one day, you do get a stomach ache. It's not a big deal and I don't think Collin was making a big deal out of it. I think he enjoyed the novel experience of a belly ache from eating too much. I'm sure the 'hungry' part is true too. Kate's depriving them of calories, but It's clear those kids had relaxed, uninhibited fun with their dad that day.

I think those kids are regularly left hungry even after their sad, controlled 'meals' with Kate. I see her regularly serving tiny portions to them, as if they were still toddlers. I think she's a sick woman. On filming days, I'm sure she hops them up on sugar, like the giant portion of ice cream they got with the one small spoon of chicken cacciatore. So when they are with their dad, they get to really eat, really play and really experience life.

Also, about Leah's comment "Leah tard, Hannah tard, Lexi tard" I believe that was pure Leah. She's very witty and quick.

Miss said...

No it is not a bad thing to order broccoli for your kids at a restaurant. However Kate just annoys the heck out of me with her change of mind for meals.

#1- Goes on a outing with Jon and
kids and lets them have "ice
cream for dinner"

BUT
#2-Denies the boys a their birthday
treat because they didn't finish
dinner.

#3-Orders broccoli at a restaurant
As if their lives depended on
a green veggie.

#4- Takes them to Dunkin Donuts.

Ummmmmmm Kate you don't know up
from down!

my9cats said...

Ok...am I missing something?
I didn't see the epi so I am commenting from what I've read here.
At the restaurant, can I assume the twins had their own meals?
What baffles me is 6 kids, one sandwich cut into 4 pieces. Who was left out?

MickeyMcKean said...

Laura Linger said...

... Mady is such a little flirt and obviously has developed a little crush on her teacher, who is kind of cute. She and Cara have their own private instruction. I wonder if this was decided for them, as there are clearly other girls their age at the gym. There is a heartbreaking shot where Cara and Mady are leaving the gym, much to the amusement of the other girls, who are watching them with folded arms and whispers. And for that, and that alone, may you burn in hell, Kate Gosselin.


Laura Linger,
THANK YOU for the great recap! I couldn't help but giggle through most of it.

However, when I got to the above bolded part, I actually went back to see it for myself since I missed it. Wow, to assume that in all probability that the children's peers are teasing or talking about the Gosselin kids is one thing, but to see it for yourself is another.

lukebandit said...

i didn't know what succubus was either and i also googled it, i google everything! and i laughed so hard out loud. it is a female demon who has S. Inter. C. with sleeping men, usually monks so, when kate took the kids to DD's was that steve in the background with a brown robe hoodie, kinda sleepy? lol

yeah, she is so stupid. she is trying to score brownie points with the kids because of the wonderful day with jon and the baseball game. i guess now the boys finally get their "CUPCAKES".
God Bless the Gosselin 8 and Jon.
kate go away. please.

thesekidsarestarvingforloveandfood said...

About the broccoli, I think it's ordinarily a good balance to a greasy meal of meat and fries, but not the way Kate does it. With Kate, she arranges the plate so the main dish is in a tiny portion and yet the plate looks full because of the sides. It's just not enough food though. I mean, 1/4 of a kids chicken sandwich each? Really????? Then she spread out the fries to look like they take up half the plate along with the broccoli and mac and cheese. And that was way more than she lets them eat at home. On chicken cacciatore day, the portion was literally a teaspoon. What took up the plate was the half ear of corn. Kate is a tricky manipulator and that extends to all ares of her kid's lives, unfortunately. She controls their behavior with food, water, and sugary treats.

In the Barn said...

Random Thoughts said, "So, really, wouldn't it have been MUCH easier for Kate just to order each of the kids a kid's meal and let the waitress pass them out, instead of gathering the food down at her end, divide it up for them and then pass it back?"

******************************

Well, yes, but then Katie couldn't be the 'how DO I do it, 8 children, me alllll alone?!' STAR that TLC would have us believe she is.

Besides, since we know Katie is not exactly a brain trust, what would the camera have to film, since Lord knows the woman cannot possibly hold an intelligent conversation (especially when she self interviews - both the interviewer and the interviewee are severely lacking).

And so they tell her to cut up sandwiches and pass around mac 'n' cheese - maybe TLC is preparing her with On The Job Training for that new career at McDonalds we've heard Kate mention.....

In the Barn said...

Alana said, "... one reason Hate insists on hovering and surrounding her ugly self with her children is because SHE IS TERRIFIED of being approached by her "peers." It's the old left-over-from-childhood lack of self esteem and self worth, not to mention she lacks an IDENTITY apart from "super mom" which she isn't; Hate feels safe putting on that persona because it's the only one she has. She's the classic One-Trick pony.

IMO, this is why she was willing to go to whatever extremes necessary, i.e. lying to her OB-GYN, in order to give birth to HOM.
She was counting on motherhood, from an early age, to give her an IDENTITY and make her, finally, into someone sooo SPECIAL."

*******************************

Alana, you've nailed it! You have Kate's number. I have always been uncomfortable watching Kate for alot of reasons, one of which is that there is a certain DESPERATION about her. I think when she's no longer able to claim Super Saintly Mom of 8, she's going to completely unhinge. This persona is all she has, and it's a cheap, thin veneer.

fidosmommy said...

RandomThoughts said...
So, really, wouldn't it have been MUCH easier for Kate just to order each of the kids a kid's meal and let the waitress pass them out, instead of gathering the food down at her end, divide it up for them and then pass it back?

*****

Of course it would be easier. But Kate does it all for her kids, remember? No effort is too much!

Besides, who else knows which side the bread is buttered on more than Kate Gosselin?

Kateneedstostarvetoo said...

Kate's ordered 5 kid's meals for 8 kids. Why? These are kid meals with kid sized portions. Why can't they each get one?

Weren't these kids jumping around in the gym all day?

Overworked and underfed.

She makes me so angry.

Gloriie said...

"always remember that Kate! Is! A! Star! and therefore cannot fully enjoy food. That’s why my ass is chubby and Kate’s isn’t. I wonder who has a happier life?"


That has to be the best statement i have ever read....EVER!

ihatefrogstoo said...

What makes me so mad is that there is no reason for Kate to be involved with the kids' plates except to control the situation and control how much food they get. She wasn't paying for it and so what if there is some left? She is just a nasty control freak who wants to keep her kids small. That is absolutely sick.

XYZed said...

Laura, this was a wonderful recap -very funny and very well-written. Your description of the summer evening at the ballpark was so evocative and beautifully captured the delicate and fleeting nature of childhood.

Much has been said about Jon and his recent impetuous choices. However, one of the few sweet moments the show captured took place some time ago when Joel, looking up at Jon, proudly announced, "I'm your son!". The statement spoke volumes about the relationship the Gosselin children have with their father. For all his faults, I think loving his children has always remained a priority for Jon Gosselin.

Thank goodness the show is almost over. I wish those eight sweet children the very best.

EnjoyYOURSELF said...

And if there IS any food leftover, that's what doggy bags are for.

You're not supposed to try and keep growing kids "small". And it isn't like any of those kids are overweight.

Besides the fact that she ruins the fun of a perfectly fun outing. I looked at that menu and there were a lot of more interesting things to eat than mac and cheese and chicken sandwiches that they can eat any time. How about letting the kids pick one appetizer for all of them and maybe not all the tups want something off the kids menu. My son was ordering off the adult menu in Red Lobster at age eight.

alana said...

In the Barn said

"...you've nailed it!"

In the Barn, THANK YOU so so much! I've made this comment many times before, but no one replies. I really appreciated your comment.

ITA with what you said about her "thin veneer" and when she's no longer regarded as "Super Mom." When Fertile Myrtle goes, Take goes, too.

Hate is one of those women who will give the process of men-o-pause a bad reputation.
She'll be reduced to a hot flash sweating disgraceful Target cart pushing ugly mood swinging shrew! With no claim to fame - or personhood - but a boatload of discarded relatives and a pile of old air-brushed-to-death tabloid covers. Her consistently unscrupulous choices and unethical decisions will come home to roost. I'm not talking about her children or her hairdo. And Take Greedlin's haggard little world is going to come crashing down upon her.

goawayJandK said...

SuzieO-

Yep, K8's unbelievable sense of entitlement makes me cringe.

In the scene you described, I LOVED when the doctor basically told K8 to get her a$$ out of the room because he needed it (oh, not to mention that everything would have to be resterilized after the kids touched everything).

LOVED when Dr. Glassman told K8 to get a good bra when she hinted she wanted a gratis boob lift in addition to her gratis tummy tuck.

LOVED when the talent agent told K8 to shut her trap so she could talk with the girls (Mady and Cara) herself.

LOVED when Jon told K8 to take the stick out of her a$$.


I love any scene (and there aren't many, unfortunately)where K8 gets a little of what she so often dishes! I think that's why I like Mady so much - she's fiesty and too smart to let K8 get away with her crap.

EnjoyYOURSELF said...

I stand by my post about the broccoli being unnecessary on a restaurant outing; especialy when the twins were having burgers and fries and when it is a rare treat. If they at out all the time, yeah, order something healthy. But that was supposed to be for fun; let them kids order their own meals for crying out loud and eat all they want. Take any leftovers home and get over it, Kate!

goawyJandK said...

What makes me so mad is that there is no reason for Kate to be involved with the kids' plates except to control the situation and control how much food they get.

--------------------------

So true.

RandomThoughts said...

You are both right, Fidosmom and In the Barn--PLUS, this gave her a chance to b!tc# about how much work it is to have eight kids, whereas if they'd each just gotten their own, she wouldn't have been able to do that. How silly of me :)

Ryan's Mom said...

Perhaps the reason the kids overindulged at the ballpark is that they never get enough to eat when Kate is in charge and are never allowed to select what they want. I agree, future food issues are a real possibility.

I don't watch the show anymore and I have enjoyed being Gosselin and TLC-free. Ironically, while this drivel was airing, another channel had a special about a little girl's losing battle with cancer.

Thank you for a BRILLIANT recap and summary of the tragedy that the Gosselin family has become.

Can't See Sheep said...

Im_in_PR said...
I think your complaints actually bought the kids some normality for a few minutes by way of Dunkin Doughnuts!!!
---------------------

With or without broccili :-)


YAY!!!!!!!!!

tuesday said...

In the Barn said..

"This persona is all she has, and it's a cheap, thin veneer".

EXACTLY... perfectly stated.

SuzieO said...

Just in case it makes a difference to the debate; The broccoli came with the mac and cheese.

Im_in_PR said...

I stand by my post about the broccoli being unnecessary on a restaurant outing; especialy when the twins were having burgers and fries and when it is a rare treat.

No problem for me. After all, it's all only just an opinion.

But I hope we've got something better (as a case against Kate) than (drumroll please....)
"She ordered broccoli."

Im_in_PR said...

Alana said In the Barn, THANK YOU so so much! I've made this comment many times before, but no one replies.

Just wanted to add that I do read all the comments, but I try not to reply to EVERYTHING I agree or disagree with to save the dear moderators eyes!

A viwer from Aust said...

I thought it was very telling when Jon said “ some of my kids just like to eat”.

I would like to “just eat” too if my mother didn’t feed me enough!

Sharla said...

We do thank you for being judicious in replying. Eyes, fingers, and patience need preserving at this point.

EnjoyYOURSELF said...

"I think that's why I like Mady so much - she's fiesty and too smart to let K8 get away with her crap."

I've always liked Mady; same way I like Alexis. I like their spunk and yeah, Mady tells it like it is whether Kate likes it or not.

Sandy R said...

A couple observations regarding the gymnastics: There is no group for the twins to join. They basically walked in off the street to a gym that has established classes doing what I assume to be some pretty advanced stuff. That area of PA is a hotbed for the sport. Gymnastics is a serious sport requiring years of training and dedication along with a good amount of proportional strength. In the background of one of the scenes you can see a girl of similar age doing a full sprint vault. Go back and check it out. I was impressed. Compared to the other athletes, the twins have no (zero) skills. Their big move was flopping poorly into the Styrofoam pit. That’s what preschoolers do. You do not gain the prerequisite skills for the sport by standing in front of Katie to get your popcorn. I am sure that the instructor they got was pulled from a class which was left short-handed from a coaching point of view.

The tups looked to get a couple of older high school girls who probably missed their class to babysit those six kids who will never show up again. The only inconvenience to the gym was whatever space the tups took up, along with Katie Irene and her camera crew --- and the class the instructors missed.

On a final point; If I'm running that gym (or any other athletic venue) and Katie and crew showed up, there is now way I would allow them to participate. It's a no win situation. Those kids (all eight of them) are spoiled little brats who cry at the drop of a hat (for attention). Why would anybody take the chance for something to go wrong and have Katie sue you, or run down your place of business on TV?

about the gum chewing said...

"Did I mention that Kate was smacking on the chewing gum the entire time she was in the Leah-tard store? No? She was. Now, ordinarily I would not be so judgmental. I have been a gum chewer ever since I gave up my two-pack-per-day habit twenty years ago."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Since I quit smoking (just 43 days ago) I have been wondering whether Katie smokes/smoked. I hope I don't look as revolting chewing gum as she does, but I've noticed it takes a lot of self control to keep my fingers from moving all the time. The way she drums her fingers against herself, especially when she's in situations that are more "demanding" she makes me think she wants to smoke, but won't in front of the cameras (when she runs out of the insect room during the butterfly episode for example). I've seen pictures of Jon smoking, but what about Katie?

Brummygirl said...

8Hungry kids said:
I think those kids are regularly left hungry even after their sad, controlled 'meals' with Kate. I see her regularly serving tiny portions to them, as if they were still toddlers.
***********************
Is she still doling out food to Mady and Cara? At that age, they should be helping themselves from the dishes on the table.
I wonder if Kate cut Jon's food up too!!
Those children will be stunted not only in growth but in social situations if they are never around children other than school. They may be large in number but each child needs an individual friend, we do not always want our brothers or sisters as playmates. If Madam Katie Irene Von Tropp has a *play mate* so can the kids!! Hope she swallows that flipping whistle when she's on the high road *climbing every mountain and fording every stream!!!

For the Moment? said...

For the Moment? said...
Re: Leah-tards, Lexi-tards and Hannah-tards


Sorry about that...of course they had their leotards on...we call "tights" leotards in the south where I am from. They didn't have "tights" because they were out of them. I just caught that and wanted to clarify that I have notlost my mind.

For the Moment? said...

You can see that someone is working with Mady (not a nanny, maybe). She is maturing very nicely. I think gymnastics would be her sport if she was allowed to do it..she had great form.

Matt said...

Kate's ordered 5 kid's meals for 8 kids. Why? These are kid meals with kid sized portions. Why can't they each get one?

Perhaps this was filmed during the stretch when she was crying poor.
"Oh, poor me, All of the kids can't have their own meal at the restaurant because Daddy took all of our money!"

Yeah, Right.
This can't end soon enough. These two morons have quite possibly psychologically ruined their children for life. Congratulations, I hope the money was worth it.

Just give the kid a bagel said...

I too was appalled when the camera filmed those children in the changing room. I don't remember if they were wearing underwear or their "leah-tards", but to me it's a moot point. They were changing and in a state of undress and therefore it was a shocking lack of boundaries and good sense to film them. Thank the lord the show is coming to an end before we get "Mady's First Bra!" episodes, because you know that Kate (Anything For Money) Gosselin would have no problem with a camera following the poor kid into the fitting room.

My theory about Hannah's Asian eye thing: the kid's nearsighted. I used to do the same thing when I was a kid about her age, and I'm caucasian. Pulling your eyelids back like that pulls things into focus and helps a nearsighted person see better, I did it until they realized I needed glasses. I'd bet my paycheck that Hannah is nearsighted and needs glasses, and since Mother Of The Year can't even be bothered to know which of her kids are right or left handed, it's going undetected. Now that she's in school, the teacher will probably see that something is amiss and arrange to get her eyes checked.

Vanessa said...

Momof4inPA,
No kidding these kids are a hot topic on "pedo-sites"! You'd be stupid to think otherwise. I also have a friend on the police force and she said that ANYTHING can get these guys going, even DIAPER commercials! You know, when they show those little bottoms! (sound familiar?)

Love it said...

You should post this on Z on TV.

bucky said...

Alana, you've nailed it! You have Kate's number. I have always been uncomfortable watching Kate for alot of reasons, one of which is that there is a certain DESPERATION about her. I think when she's no longer able to claim Super Saintly Mom of 8, she's going to completely unhinge. This persona is all she has, and it's a cheap, thin veneer.
_______________________
This is so true. I will bet on thier 16th b-day we will all hear about the 30 weeks of bed rest.

These kids will be teenagers and we will still hear about her being exhausted..

boo said...

"I think that's why I like Mady so much - she's fiesty and too smart to let K8 get away with her crap."
________________________
I think Maddy is a bit like Kate.

When she doesn't want to do something or is not enjoying something, she tries to pull or prevent Cara from enjoying the same by physically holding on to her or having a tantrum...

kitnkaboodle said...

Are you serious about what food the Succubus ordered for them? That's IT??! Wow.

kitnkaboodle said...

think one reason Hate insists on hovering and surrounding her ugly self with her children is because SHE IS TERRIFIED of being approached by her "peers." It's the old left-over-from-childhood lack of self esteem and self worth, not to mention she lacks an IDENTITY apart from "super mom" which she isn't; Hate feels safe putting on that persona because it's the only one she has. She's the classic One-Trick pony.

*****************
There was a clip I saw of her and Jon and the crew (both kinds) going thru an airport. She BEGGED Jon to "lead us." She said something like "PUHLEEZE be in front,; I don't want to lead us!" I thought that was strange. I mean she had an extremely nervous tone to her voice when she was pleading w/him.
IMO, she is AFRAID. Afraid to actually have to DEAL WITH PEOPLE. Hence the Jon-leading thing. The avoidance of people at book signings as much as possible, down to no eye contact and handing the books to the BODYGUARD to give to the "fans." The thing at Gymnastics. She does not feel confident IFO others. She MIGHT NOT BE IN CONTROL. How did she EVER have a job and have to deal with other people?? I dont' understand it. It's weird.

fidosmommy said...

SuzieO said...
Just in case it makes a difference to the debate; The broccoli came with the mac and cheese.

*****

Yes, but there was also a choice.
Broccoli OR Mandarin oranges OR a house side salad. "Choice" is the operative word. Any of those would be considered healthy, and not all of the children might have picked broccoli. Nothing wrong with Mandarin oranges or a side salad. The point is Kate continues to control what the children "want". Mady apparently was not on the same page as Kate on that issue. She is old enough to choose orange slices or a salad if she prefers, IMO. The tups should be learning to make their own food choices by now.

RE: chicken sandwich plus mac and cheese plus bread. High carb and protein are good choices after a workout - actually, before a workout is even better. The body needs the carbs and protein to do the work asked of it during exercise. On a day of exercise, like going to a gymnastics class, a starchy meal with some good protein isn't such a bad thing.
Especially since these children got small portions of each, it was important that they get plenty of
carbs. I guess Kate figured the cheese on the mac & cheese took the place of the sandwich parts they didn't get.

Every time I witness Kate and these children and food all in the same place, I have flashbacks of
why I have serious food issues now.
I remember it all very well.

ManicNarcissism said...

The food control is a sign of a narcissist loud and clear. Remember, her children are a direct reflection of herself. That is all she sees them as. When they look nice and act well, this makes her feel good about herself (not them.) When they look bad, fat, ugly, messy, or act up she responds in disgust because this reflects bad on her. Not as a parent, but as a direct reflection of her personality. When she started to get thin, so did Hannie who had notoriously been a little bigger than the other girls. I always wondered why Kate preferred Hannah even though she was chubby. But, Kate was not obsessed with her weight then, she is now, and Hannie is skinny now (is this just growing, being more active or due to Kate's feeding habits I don't know for sure and won't speculate but it is a convenient coincidence.) After, seeing Kate's child pictures recently I believe Hannah looks the most like her so she is probably naturally drawn to her. If Hannah is "pretty" (remember passport scene) then this proves to Kate that she is pretty.

My mother is a narcissist. She has always battled her weight since her early 20's and weight issues were big in my house when I was a child. I started dieting at 8 years old. She didn't control my food physically she did it mentally. She would say, don't eat that or you will get fat. But, she kept all kinds of junk food in the house and we always ate out. Thankfully I was a really skinny kid or I can't imagine the mental anguish she would have put me through. Because of what she did do, I would sneak food. I would eat stuff and hide the wrappers deep in the trash, or under my bed, or underneath the couch, or under the couch cushions. My mother thought I did it because I was lazy. I did it because I was scared of what she would say if she saw the snickers wrapper on the top of the trash.

When I was 16, I didn't see her again until I was 24. 8 years of no contact. When I did see her for the first time at the airport (her mom had passed away and I came in for the funeral.) Her absolute, no joke, first words out of her mouth were: "thank GOD you haven't gotten fat."

I went no contact again. I have talked to her a few times when I have children, just to let her know she has grandkids. She doesn't care. She is on my Facebook. I commented about starting a diet the other day and this is the ONLY thing she has ever posted on my status updates: "Don't even try, you will just fail, diets stink and don't work." Why did she say this? Because she is 50, fat, and has given up. Therefore, she doesn't want me to succeed.

I try not to share too much, but just thought you guys might like the perspective of a child of a narcissist.

Maude said...

EnjoyYOURSELF said:
I stand by my post about the broccoli being unnecessary on a restaurant outing; especialy when the twins were having burgers and fries and when it is a rare treat.

**********************************

I'll stand by your post too. My kids love veggies but when we went out they could have a burger, fries, and even a soda if they wanted. My sons are now teenagers, but they were more than capable of eating an entire kids meal at 5.

Would I roll my eyes or snicker behind the back of a mother that orders a vegggie side for their child? Never. Kate didn't order the broccoli because she's a good mom. She ordered it because she wants to come off as a good mom, and she has to be in control of what they eat and how much.

Tracy said...

Whoever this Laura Linger is, I love her!

Deb said...

ManicNarcissist,

Thank you for sharing your story. It reminds me of my own narcissistic mother, who would leave junk food around and then tell me I was fat (I wasn't) and always focusing on my weight.

I recently read a Sheeple's comment on another board that those who criticize Kate have their own issues and are projecting their childhoods onto Kate. My opinion is, wouldn't someone who has BEEN there be better qualified to comment on her behavior?

Those who defend Kate probably didn't have someone like her for a mother. Those of us who did, feel the pain because we knew the horrors of being raised with a mom like that.

My mother is obsessed with calories, admits she feels guilt with everything she eats and has to tell us the Weight Watcher point system for everything- "can't eat that muffin, it's over 4 points!" Drives me crazy. I recently lost over 50 lbs and she asked me aren't I "scared" of gaining it back? I replied no, I don't live my life in fear, and am not "afraid" of food.

Poor TLC..they want people to love their Katie SO badly, they bash Jon, they give her tons of interviews to make herself look good, they do their best to shine her in a good light- and yet the disgust for her grows like fungus.

She is truly one unlikable person..I can't think of one redeeming quality about herself. When I even try, she says or does something that just reminds me how far gone she is. I hope she stays off my tv forever, and attempts to parent her children in private.

MickeyMcKean said...

Just give the kid a bagel said...
...My theory about Hannah's Asian eye thing: the kid's nearsighted. I used to do the same thing when I was a kid about her age, and I'm caucasian. Pulling your eyelids back like that pulls things into focus and helps a nearsighted person see better, I did it until they realized I needed glasses. I'd bet my paycheck that Hannah is nearsighted and needs glasses ...
___________________________________

As was recently brought up on one of the threads here, and since I saw it for myself on youtube, when Aaden needed glasses Kate did say something along the lines of "she wanted normal kids and now that Aaden has glasses he was not normal".

If Hannah, Kate's obvious favorite needs glasses, it will impact Kate. But so what!

I hope that someone who is reading this post realizes that if there is someone who thinks Hannah might need glasses based upon her experience that they can and will let Jon know because I am sure he will have Hannah's eyes checked.

jibberjabbers said...

MickeyMcKean said...

Just give the kid a bagel said...
...My theory about Hannah's Asian eye thing: the kid's nearsighted. I used to do the same thing when I was a kid about her age, and I'm caucasian. Pulling your eyelids back like that pulls things into focus and helps a nearsighted person see better, I did it until they realized I needed glasses. I'd bet my paycheck that Hannah is nearsighted and needs glasses ...
_____________

The only one near sighted is Aaden. And besides, if Hannah had eye issues, why is the the 1st time we see her doing it?

I don't believe she has eye problems. I think she was just goofing around...

Maybe she was mimicking her mother's obsession to be Asian.

I wish I was Korean vid

ManicNarcissism said...

As was recently brought up on one of the threads here, and since I saw it for myself on youtube, when Aaden needed glasses Kate did say something along the lines of "she wanted normal kids and now that Aaden has glasses he was not normal".


<><><><><><>

OMG! What episode did she say that in? I must have missed it because that would make my blood BOIL!

I got glasses when I was 7. ONLY because my father noticed one day when I couldn't read a card in Monopoly. When he asked my mother who had me most of the time to if she had noticed anything odd, she said YES! but how ugly I would look in glasses and that would be too horrible to even imagine so she had just ignored it. He took me to glasses that day. God bless my dad.

Eat your vegetables said...

Who would have thought broccoli could be so scandlish! I'm starting to think of it as the "bad boy" of veggies, I just may steam some tonite:) My issue is not her choosing broccoli. I don't give a duck's ass which flippin vegetable she picks, but for the love of GOD, can they have their OWN order of florets??? Is there a shortage that I'm unaware of??

MickeyMcKean said...

ManicNarcissism said...
As was recently brought up on one of the threads here, and since I saw it for myself on youtube, when Aaden needed glasses Kate did say something along the lines of "she wanted normal kids and now that Aaden has glasses he was not normal".


<><><><><><>

OMG! What episode did she say that in? I must have missed it because that would make my blood BOIL!

------------------------

Easy enough to find.

Go to youtube and search "Gosselin Aaden glasses".

Christine said...

Why did Kate only get 5 kids meals, maybe she only had 5 free coupons!

I bet she lets the twins have their own meal, and makes the 6 share 3.

tj said...

Pertaining to Kate saying Aaden is no longer normal since he wears glasses: Obviously Kate's problems started when she started wearing glasses. We all know she is not normal.

goawayJandK said...

Deb and Manic :

I read your comments with a heavy heart. I hate the fact that K8's horrible behaviour can cause so many to have unpleasant flashbacks of their own childhoods.

Thank you for sharing your stories, and I hope your lives are now happy, healthy and full of the important things that K8's dirty money could never buy.

Free Kate's Thong said...

I'll add my kudos to Laura for the recap.

Re: the infamous restaurant meal, it just made me so sad for those kids. It wasn't the broccoli. For me when I was little, and now for the little ones I can take out, the joy of being treated to a meal out is that unlike being at home where the parents control the menu, you get to pick a meal for yourself out of a whole list of choices. And then you get to order it for yourself (maybe with a little help if you need help), and it's your very own special-order plate. Who cares if it's a big portion. Even better - you get to box it up and bring the rest home.

But even when these kids break free from "the nature of the beast", do they get to enjoy their restaurant treat? Hell no. The Grim Reaper has to control the orders and quarter up the portions and dole it all personally instead of letting them get served by a lowly commoner waitress, and just generally make the whole thing into the most joyless kids-meal-out I've seen. Jesus, lady. Why come into every situation and suck the life out of it for your kids? What do YOU get out doing of that? There must be something or you wouldn't do it.

And by the way, that remark about "I'm sure she could arrange for flies" sounded like a snide remark toward the waitress and the restaurant. It's the snarky/haughty attitude Khate throws around a lot at staff in establishments. The world is hers to step on.

Mary said...

tj said...
Pertaining to Kate saying Aaden is no longer normal since he wears glasses: Obviously Kate's problems started when she started wearing glasses. We all know she is not normal.
+++++++++++++++++++
Between her glasses, teeth, eyes and posture, I dont think Katie Irene was a happy child.

Mary said...

ManicNarcissism said...
As was recently brought up on one of the threads here, and since I saw it for myself on youtube, when Aaden needed glasses Kate did say something along the lines of "she wanted normal kids and now that Aaden has glasses he was not normal".
<><><><><><>
OMG! What episode did she say that in? I must have missed it because that would make my blood BOIL!
???????????????????????????


Man oh man, one day the kids are going to see and understand all of her comments and actions...

Pa Mom Knows said...

"when Aaden needed glasses Kate did say something along the lines of "she wanted normal kids and now that Aaden has glasses he was not normal".

I thought she said that she wished her normal little kids would be totally normal. Did she come right out and say that Aaden was not normal -- in those words?

What would she have done if one of them had been born with cerebral palsy, like Rebecca Hayes?

Pa Mom Knows said...

"I wonder if Kate cut Jon's food up too!!"
----------------------

No. She just cuts up Jon.

KyPastor said...

FreeKatesThong talked about Kate sucking the joy out of the restaurant meal.

I agree! It is a treasure of childhood to feel grown up enough to be able to know what you want, to order it yourself and to have it be all yours, just like Mommy and Daddy do. It is a lesson in reading, decision making and enjoying a meal out in public. It is one small step on the path to self sufficiency.

Since these particular 5 year olds
all dress alike and go everywhere together as a group it must make sense to Kate that they all eat the same things in a restaurant, same portion size for boys and girls no matter what.

I remember eating at the Essex House for my brother's birthday.
I was about 6. I wanted chicken, talked about ordering chicken all the way there, and my mouth was watering for chicken. When it was my turn to order, all for myself, I said I'd like the FISH, please!
My parents questioned me, but I was insistant. (Actually, I just got momentarily flustered, just like Mady with her flyfries). I didn't like fish. I don't know why I ordered fish instead of chicken. But I ate every bite of it because it was a meal I ordered by myself and decided tasted quite good. My parents praised me quite nicely for handling it all like a grown up. Obviously, I have not forgotten this dinner. It was a stepping stone for my personal growth.

Betty said...

Sadly Kate doesn't know how to be much more than about 12 years old. She's going to have to learn how to be an adult herself before she can be of use to the children in learning independence and developoing much maturity.

N.E. Psychologist said...

Laura Linger you TOTALLY rock. Discovering this blog has convinced me that I have not been hallucinating -what I perceived was indeed what I saw. Stopped watching the show when the promos for the Hawaii trip started (too over the top, even for JK8). Stopped watching TLC when I saw the promo for the "big announcement" with Leah crying and saying "Daddy please don't go." Joel's wishing that the mascot was "our dog" had the same heart stopping effect.
Many of the problems suffered by the seriously troubled adults that I work with are the direct result of childhood neglect and abuse. To watch it in progress is horrifying. Thank you for taking the time and considerable effort to document it.
Where are CPS and the FCC and why hasn't a Guardian ad Litem been appointed for these children?

alana said...

Betty said:

"She's going to have to learn to be an adult herself..."

Amen, Betty!
If only Hate was capable of such insight.

"If wishes were horses
Then beggars would ride."

anotherthing... said...

You guys have some very interesting insights about Kates issues.

The 'lead us' things and the control issues and the other personal stories youve shared that tie into and relate to her and how she acts is very interesting.

And Ive changed my mind about watching Kate on a TV show: I WOULD watch her on a show where she got 'shrinked'. Not that fake Dr. Phil crap... but Id love to hear what a real psych had to say about her.

Anyway. I, too, think that Kate has some deep-seeded issues involving appearence/vanity and control. I think thats why she sought out the lime light and therefore why she insisted on having the tups.

Rebecca F. said...

Here is the Aaden glasses link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIA2fLOIwS4

fidosmommy said...

So, according to that glasses video, Kate at least knew at some point whether Aaden was near or far sighted. When did she forget?

fidosmommy said...

OK, folks, I just watched the YouTube video of the preps for gymnastics and the meal at Austin's.

It's not as bad as I gathered from
what I've been reading, IMO. I guess I need to watch before I comment.

True, the chicken sandwich portions were paltry, but when Kate walked around to serve one of the girls, there was a MOUND of french fries, a whole fruit cup of mandarin oranges, some mac and cheese, and a fair serving of broccoli (ugh!) on her plate. And they were also each getting a slice of brown bread with butter, plus a drink. It really looked like a substantial lunch/dinner to me. Rib-sticking.

I never heard she ordered them fruit, and that when Kate asked (asked, mind you) the twins to choose a vegetable, Cara asked if she could have fruit instead, and Kate said yes. It seemed rather
calm and normal to me, frankly.

While I wish the little kids could have picked too, it didn't come across as such a bad meal after all, IMO. I detest the way she handled the serving, but still....

I owe Kate an apology for jumping on a bandwagon that I'm not sure I needed to jump on.

I can't believe I said that, but fair is fair.

Kate, I apologize. In this case, anyway. Overall, I've still got issues with you, but in this case,
I was wrong. Sorry.

Starvation Rations said...

Laura, loved the recap.

How can Kate NOT know that the amount of food she ordered is NOT enough for those kids?

Also, who feeds their kids greasy burgers before they go jump around at the gym?

I mean, like, as a nurse, shouldn't Kate, like, know this stuff? Ya know? DUH!

Can't See Sheep said...

Im_in_PR said...

But I hope we've got something better (as a case against Kate) than (drumroll please....)
"She ordered broccoli."
------------------------

It`s not the broccoli, it`s the control, the broccoli incident is just one in a long line of control freak instances initiated by kate the joynazi with her happiness radar.

The kids go to paint crafts but kate picks the colours they paint with. They go to the Crayola factory they`re not aloud to use some of the products like the other children there. They get to eat ice cream with the Disney princesses, kate has to have a tantrum because one gets ice cream on themselves (which most kids that age do anyway), the situation didn`t need attention drawn to it, but oh no, the cameras weren`t on kate, they were on everyone but kate, so she throws a tantrum. Can we say camera hog! The list goes on & on almost something every show & if it`s not kate sucking the fun out of something, then it`s kate pitching a fit so the cameras will focus on her. She`s a joynazi, she can`t stand to see her children have fun, or get more attention than she does, it`s sick.

As for the freak fest when Aaden needed glasses & whining about her child not being normal, how normal is it to have more cuts than Frankenstein`s monster??? All these messed up vain things she has done to herself because of her own problems. Oh, that's right, I forgot, we haven't seen all these things, they're "invisible" So they didn't really happen. It's a pair of glasses for pete's sake, she just couldn't stand him not looking like the rest of the herd & thank goodness it did happen to make him that much more individual instead of just one of the group.

Can't See Sheep said...

Lucy said...

I see one positive in Khate getting her own show. It will drastically shorten the time Khate spends in the Gosselin house, thereby lessening the degree of psychological abuse she so diligently pours over her childrens' heads and it should give her a new avenue to earn more money to spend on herself. In this regard I hope Khate is successful and stays away from her children for a very long time given the fact we can't actually have her sent away, (cough committed), for a long long time ...). So bring it on and call the show "Hooker World. It's not perfect but it's MY world".
------------------

I agree 100% with all of it.


about the gum chewing said...
Since I quit smoking (just 43 days ago) I have been wondering whether Katie smokes/smoked. I hope I don't look as revolting chewing gum as she does, but I've noticed it takes a lot of self control to keep my fingers from moving all the time.
-------------------------

I seriously doubt you could look as bad as kate chewing gum, because cows chewing their cud do not look as bad as kate chewing gum! I have never seen anyone chew gum like that woman does, it's abysmal. Best of luck to you in keeping smoke free!

goawayfools said...

Dinner with Kate is such fun! You get teased for misspeaking even though you already corrected yourself (flies/fries). You get asked to put your head up when ordering even though everyone can hear you just fine. Someone got to wait for mom to butter eight pieces of bread before getting his/hers. Everyone got to eat what mom thought would be good. Everything on your plate was touched by mom's grubby hands/fingers. And the dinner conversation went as follows (and I quote):

"Please be quiet."
"Aaden, thank you. You've been quiet." (Aaden is rewarded with the first piece of bread for his silence/submission).
"Shhhhhh."
"Shhhhhh" (louder this time)
"I'm hungry." (One of the tups still waiting for her food; others are halfway done with meal.)
"Ahhh, ahhhh, ahhhh" (A bored, hungry, impatient Alexis still waiting for Kate to serve her.)
"Alexis, be quiet."

Such a buzzkill.

Hard to Keep Loving Jon said...

Thank gawd, a dinner without prison plates and bibs!

EnjoyYOURSELF said...

"It`s not the broccoli, it`s the control, the broccoli incident is just one in a long line of control freak instances initiated by kate the joynazi with her happiness radar."

Exactly. Thanks for summing it up for me.

EnjoyYOURSELF said...

"As for the freak fest when Aaden needed glasses & whining about her child not being normal, how normal is it to have more cuts than Frankenstein`s monster??? All these messed up vain things she has done to herself because of her own problems. Oh, that's right, I forgot, we haven't seen all these things, they're "invisible" So they didn't really happen. It's a pair of glasses for pete's sake, she just couldn't stand him not looking like the rest of the herd & thank goodness it did happen to make him that much more individual instead of just one of the group."

The glasses are part of what makes Aaden so cute IMO. That and his serious, studying expression.

EnjoyYOURSELF said...

Okay, I hope this is my last post regarding broccoli, lol. Personally, I like it and was blessed with a child who likes it (I hated it as a child though).

It isn't just the broccoli and it really wasn't about the portion sizes so much for me. It was about her killing all the tups' fun and not letting them order their own meals. It isn't supposed to be like eating at home; it is supposed to be a treat. Something she admitted they don't get much (not with her custody time anyway). I just know the way my parents handled it, eating out was a pleasure; nothing like eating at home where we were forced to eat what mom cooked, etc.

emmasmommy said...

I watched the clips on YT. This is what I gathered.

The kids are 5 and are learning self independence at school. Same should be at home. To be able to CHOOSE what YOU want to eat. The child is learning to identify the words with the item of their child's menu. EVERYTHING is a learning process at that age. Also, that is an opportunity to teach/ practice good manners by thanking the waitress for serving you. BUT no mom has to take that away.
Another thing....I always from an early age have taught my 3 children to never ever touch anyones food. I have always made sure they have their own plate even if they opt to split. It has nothing to do with germs it is simply to have respect and table manners.
So, Kate touching their food, regardless if clean is disrespectful.
In my honest opinion she fix the kids plate to draw attention to herself. "Look at me I have to do all this by MYSELF. I am a poor single mother, pity me. Can you blame me for my exhaustion"

Fast Forward to Jon and the ballpark. The way Joel was eating his hotdog was like someone who had been starving for years. More like eating it so fast so he can move on to his next craving because he is not sure when his mom is going to walk in and put a STOP to it. It just goes to show that the kids are deprived of enjoying the simple things in life.
Jon's attitude was right on cue. Enjoy and indulge. Run around get dirty, eat unhealthy yet delicious all American food. In one clip they show Jon shoving a hotdog down his throat. Like telling Kate, "Yup I'm fat but happy, yum yum."

Joel scrapping his knee and Jon wiping it w/ an alchol wipe is not child abuse as posted on ROL. What is he suppose to do. Take him to the ER or run around w/ kid in arms until he finds water. You use what they give you, a wipe and band-aid. These kids already get special treatment as it is. So, now they get a scraped knee oh no the world is gonna end, Please.

Moons in Leo said...

Laura, brava! What a wonderful recap! I laughed, I cried. Really. You're a fabulous writer and as others have said although I didn't actually see this your words painted unforgettable images.

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