Will Stopping the Show Help?

This was submitted as a comment from Danielle, but we feel it is worthy as a post.

So I must admit, I have been a strong supporter of... So I must admit, I have been a strong supporter of J&K ever since I first saw the show despite all of the criticism I have heard about Kate. Today I spent a little more time really reading up and hearing what everyone has to say and, although I never thought Kate was perfect, I am less and less impressed by her. However, in response to criticism about the show being fueled by Kate's selfishness, why does anyone think stopping the show will safeguard her children from their mother's personality?

My mom is very much like Kate- although she claims that she is a selfless mother, reality shines through pretty clearly. Whether or not the show continues or not, the Gosselin children are always going to have their needs somewhat neglected (albeit not in a seriously abusive way). I have always felt that at least these kids really are getting these tremendous opportunities- I never had such experiences and I still have the same hang-ups anyone with a selfish and know-it-all mother like Kate would have.

I admit that I don't know what the future damages might be as the kids are so exposed and everything, but it's important to recognize that they will have the same parents whether the show airs or not. At least maybe they will have life experiences that will help them find themselves as individuals in the future. That's all we can hope for as viewers who truly care.

46 comments:

Rosey in Washington said...

Although I can see where you are coming from, and I completely agree with you that Kate will be a selfish mother no matter if the cameras are on or not, I do not agree with letting the show go on for the sake of the children getting worldly experiences and vacations.

I understand that because of their show, the kids are getting alot more opportunities than they ever would have gotten without it, but I do not think the vacations and experiences are worth the negative consequences they will suffer from being on mainstream television.

For instance, you said your mother is alot like Kate. Well, Im guessing that her behavior then was atleast sometimes embarrassing for you. But, atleast your mom wasnt on TV every week so everyone would see how awful she is. I know that the Gosselin children love their parents no matter what, simply because they are their parents. But, I think its going to be rather difficult for them once they start getting a little bit older and kids at school make fun of them about something they have been filmed doing, or something rude their mom said or did. Of course they are going to feel the need to stick up for their mom and her behavior. And I dont think that is going to be good for them.

Just my opinion though.

Anonymous said...

Yes, stopping the show won't help them have a more loving mother but I think it would be emotionally better for them to not have their lives exposed for the whole country to see every week, especially as they are getting older and interacting with other kids who will tease them about the show.

Plus they will have more of the "child star problems" to deal with as they grow up if this show keeps going.

Anonymous said...

Not only do I think the show should be cancelled, I also think that reruns should not be shown. Kate needs to lay low, focus on her family and let all the negative criticism die down. The kids have had enough "opportunities." They need to get adjusted to reality. The longer the show goes on and the older the kids get, the harder it will be to "undo" the expectations the kids currently have. They have become accustomed to a rather lavish lifestyle ... and if J&K can continue to maintain that on their own, and that is what they want for their kids, then so be it. However, their every move will no longer be on film. Ultimately, that is what will be in the best interests of the kids.

Anne said...

I really enjoyed your post and thought you had some really good points. For me I think about the lack of privacy for these kids, the amount of hours they work and the lack of choices they can make on their own due to the show. As well Kate,, Kate needs no longer to be in the lime light and have her power taken away from her. Yes she does have power and with it she is taking advantage of her kids her marriage and people who are fooled into her web of lies and for these reasons I really think the show should be cancelled. Its sailed its boat and now its time to dock it and heal has a family. I really honestly think damadge has been done via Jon and Kate plus 8, will it ever be ok and heal I dont know but by it continuing only makes it worse.

Anonymous said...

Stopping the show can't completely safeguard the kids from their mother's personality....that's true. However, we have seen as the show has evolved -- that the viewer attention has definitely fueled her narcissistic personality. This does not help her to become more well-balanced or self-aware.
So, besides the obvious exploitation and sweaty hard work on camera...the kids are indeed affected by their mother's increasing need to have, along with her need to direct everyone around her.
The optimum life for the kids would be to have the cameras stop and have Kate work so that they are not affected by her 24/7.
At least full time school in the future will put them in the care of others while they mature.

Anonymous said...

I have always maintained (and posted) that the show and exploitation must be stopped and at the same time Jon must see that Kate gets the help that she needs to be healthy. I believe that Kate's behaviors(actions) and her statements indicate that she is not functioning as typical adults would in similar situations.

Think of all Kate's stated limitations: she doesn't do mornings, play, complete laundry chores, drive hither..., empty the dishwasher, turn on the a/c, babysit neices/nephews, participate in outdoor activites, monitor homework, gas the car, hold a job, dress the kids, bathe the kids, put the kids to bed, deal with sick kids, deal with boys,deal with tantrums......

You're absolutely right, if Kate doesn't get the help she needs, that home will never be happy,imho. I'm afraid the world may just be saddled with a few more Kate's..Yikes!

Phyllis said...

The sad thing is, even if the show ends, I can see J&K scapegoating some of the less favored children and telling the kids that it is this child or that child's fault that the show was canceled and they no longer have freebies and expensive vacations.

"No we can't go back to Disney World because people who watched our show thought Mady was a brat.", "No, we don't have clothes from the Gap anymore because people who watched our show thought Joel whined too much."

michelle said...

But, the show will continue as long as everyone, who does not like or even "hates", Kate and Jon and the exploitation of the children, etc., still watches the show.
This increases the ratings for TLC and TLC will not cancel a top rating show.
So...this site and all the others, actually may be promoting the "watching of the show".
So...we may be contributing to the damage of the children. All this is on the internet and I'm sure, if not already, Mady and Cara, through their fellow students, may end up showing these sites to these girls. Kids at this age know how to use a computer and may have access without parent supervision. It's horrible that these twins may have to be faced with all these sites. On Youtube, someone (a girl, age 13) made a "video" of "Why I hate Mady" and she plans on doing this for each of the tuplets, too.
This is irresponsible and cruel. Young people, even some adults, have to be careful with what they post. Ask themselves, is this contributing to possibly hurting all those children? Jon and Kate are already doing their "part" with the children. The question should be, do we want to add to it by posting "damaging and hurtful and personal(making fun of Kate's hair and saying she is ugly) comments" towards this family?"
Something for us all to think about. I know I am.
I'm not saying I am a fan of this couple. I'm am not a fan of these twins, as they get older, stumbling across some of the terrible things said about them. Can you believe that Youtube is full of "Why I hate...the Kids"? That has to do some damage.

If and when the show is cancelled, will that put a complete end to all the sites (even Youtube) off the internet too? I hope so and before the twins and tuplets see all of it.

Ilovemykids said...

I can't see this show going on for more than a season or two. #1 - it's already becoming more about Kate and Jon than about the children. #2 - when the kids are in school full-time, what are the episodes going to be about? Kate and Jon only? Viewers turn in for the children, not their "kon artist" parents. Well, except for the Kate "sheeple".

Maybe that should be a topic of discussion: "What will the storylines be for J&K Plus 8 once the kids start all day school".

Anonymous said...

Michelle is correct....attention and ratings--for whatever reason--will help keep this gravy train chugging along.

However, it is not the responsibility of anyone but the parents to protect these kids from the negative things people say or post about them. It would be nice if everyone could refrain from attacking the children and so on. But the responsibility of sheilding children from it rests squarely on the parent's shoulders.

Jon and Kate say very clearly that they believe "ANYONE" on TV is going to receive negative press. And they do. Yet, they continue to put their children in that position year after year.

So, while it's unfortunate that a young person has made these YouTube videos, her responsibility is not to these children. They are out there in the world as fodder now. No one's making any public videos or statements about my children, you know? There's a reason for that. And it's not because the rest of the world just thinks my kids are nicer than the Gosselins or they feel more responsibility for my kids. It's because I haven't put my children out there for public consumption.

Ilovemykids said...

Michelle, are you saying we should sit by and allow the Gosselin's to continue to exploit their children? Doing nothing is not acceptable. If our "blogging" finally brings some realization of what these kids are going through and changes in the laws that should, but do not protect them, then speaking up is the most important thing to do. By not speaking up, when we see weekly that these children are supporting their parents, we are just as guility as Jon and Kate.

Anonymous said...

I have thought for quite some time that the show needs to end, due in part to the fact that Kate Gosselin seems to feed on publicity, whether it be positive or negative. She is turning it into more and more "Kate Kate Kate" and less and less about the family. Let's face it - most of us do not have perfect, "normal," well balanced families or home lives, but thank goodness ours do not appear on national television. I have seen no evidence of physical abuse on the show, and I honestly feel that until that line is crossed, authorities will not get involved. I do believe it would be a wonderful idea to scale the show back to once a year updates or even three or four times a year updates. This way, the children would get somewhat of a break and return to normal life, and Jon and Kate could still both be "stay at home parents," loyal fans could continue to keep up with the family, and maybe even the "Gosslein bashers" (myself included) would be somewhat satisfied. Just a thought...

Anonymous said...

I couldn't agree more. I don't think the show should stop. It means that Kate has less money, less fun stuff, and is angry. That doesn't seem like a great thing for the kids. At least they have a camera crew to get to know, to see what others are like. At least they get amazing vacations and an idea of life outside their walls. I think stopping the show will just end the good things for them, not the bad.

Anonymous said...

Thank you Phyllis.

That's exactly what I keep trying to post. The posters on this site (while it is a good outlet and venue for concerns for the children) say "funny" things about the show and people read them and go watch it. The ratings go up.

I work in television. I will tell you right now that we get hundreds of letters a day just like everyone here talks about writing. The big wigs (and most of the little wigs too) don't care! As long as the show has viewers and ratings, no amount of hate mail is going to change their minds.

Believe it or not, sites like these and hate mail actually spark the interest of the producers. They like this hate, they want people to respond -the more people talk about hating it and the horrible things on the show the more people tune in.

You really want to help these children? STOP WATCHING

Anonymous said...

Well Im not really sure where to put this, so here seems as good as any spot.

When Jon and Kate renewed their vows that was said to have happened in August right, well last Mondays episode was in September because it was 911, perhaps the renewal of vows really was sincere because (so far, and my fingers are crossed that it continues) they have been much nicer to each other, the kids, and every one in general. Im hoping that they may have realized what they were doing to the people they love.

Now I know a bunch of people will only think that they are pretending to change to save the show (damage control) but even if that is the case it does not really matter because the children are getting treated better on camera and I can only pray that they are getting treated better all the time.

Perhaps they are finally realizing the error of their ways. Also it doesnt seem like the renewals will be a part of the show because they are already showing footage from September. It doesnt seem likely that they would go back in time, especially since in the real world its October.

Thats just my opinion, I thought I would share it.

uneasy said...

Reality TV shows being what they are, (IMO, staged entertainment) I don't know that I can comment on the relationships of the family members because I honestly don't believe I know what they are based on what I see (or hear about) on the show. Whatever perceptions I have (filtered by my own prejudices) are already skewed by the staged entertainment premise of the reality show. Whether we like it or not, this show is fake.

I do agree with you that a selfish mother will be a selfish mother whether she is on TV or not. But the benefits for any child being continuously filmed for TV, particularly on a reality show without legal protections in place, are grossly outweighed by the disadvantages. It seems the show is the life of the children. And emphasis is overwhelmingly placed on appearances as opposed to substance.

All the money in the world, or trips to exciting places can't replace a healthy nurturing environment where the individual children are valued for who they are instead of what they look like, and how they play to the camera.

In a normal life situation, children have school, friends and extended family to compensate for unhealthy family dynamics.

These kids only have the show - it is their family, it is their home, it follows them everywhere they go. Whatever their family dynamic is, it doesn't seem that the children have the emotional or psychological space in which to grow into authentic individuals.

mk said...

Their tell all book should be entitled "Revelations From the Carseat"... seeing as that's where they spend the majority of their time (driving the urban assault vehicle to preschool, "life experiences", and pretty much anywhere that offers them a freebie).

Christine said...

It's not going to solve all the kids future issues of being child reality stars, but it will help. Getting them off the TV can only be a good thing. Kate will always be Kate but I do believe in the future she will look back on her behavior and not be so proud of what she sees. I don't know how she cannot.

Anonymous said...

Of course stopping the show will help. Stopping any kind of abuse helps. The show is enabling and in fact rewarding every one of Jon's and Kate's character flaws...narcissism, laziness, false sense of entitlement, to name just a few of the more obvious ones.

Will stopping the show make Jon and Kate into well-adjusted, likeable people and productive members of society? Probably not. They are what they are. But I'm sure they have enough money now that if they put it with a reputable financial planner and they live a reasonable middle-class lifestyle, neither of them will ever need to work again...and that's after funding trusts for each child's college.

Will stopping the show cause Kate to mellow out, or melt down? Initially and short-term she will probably go into denial that she is no longer in the spotlight. When it sinks in, she may go into a depression. Kate is like an addict and the show and fame are her drugs of choice. There will be withdrawal and it won't be pretty. She could come out of it in better shape, or worse. Hard to say.

How about Jon? Jon has never had to shoulder adult responsibility in his entire life. I think he loves those kids, and he might find he has strength to man-up that he didn't know he had, particularly if Kate is depressed and withdraws, and he has no other choice. I don't think he will cut and run. Call it wishful thinking, but that's my gut feeling.

What about their marriage? Hard to say. Right now it's based on codepencency. If the dynamics change, all bets are off.

So what about the children? We have examples of child actors to look at, but TTMOMK no long-term studies of the effects of children doing a reality show. The kids aren't exhibiting shocking signs of real social or psychological pathology, not by contrast with children who have been the victims of "traditional" forms of child abuse. Again, my gut feeling is that over the long run they will be OK, or, at least not permanently worse off than they would have been with the same parents had the show never taken place. But the effect of any stressful or abusive situation is cumulative, so the longer it goes on, the more likely for permanent ill effects. And the children are getting older and more able to see that their lives are abnormal. Also, the hate videos and blog commentary is bound to reach them sooner or later. They have already been stripped of their extended family, and are now going to be uprooted from what little comforting surroundings they know, and moved to a secure (read: isolated) compound. So the full answer to "Will it stopping the show help?" is "Yes, but the degree to which it will help is directly related to how soon the show is stopped."

MidnightSun said...

I don't think stopping the show is going to do anything to improve their life greatly.

It may help somewhat, but unfortunately the emotional damage has already been done to all the children. The tups may be able to recover, but Mady and Cary are older and wiser.

Besides, J&K will just find another way to exploit the kids to support their "celebrity" lifestyle.

Anonymous said...

Yes, stopping the show will help everyone.

Anonymous said...

Well Not for nothing but maybe having people critiquing the parenting style will help them. It seems the comments that have been made in the past are starting to affect what they do.Its almost like the comments are forcing them to have to change, Who knows folks, KAte maybe right about the show being good for the kids, because their mom may actually be forced to think before she acts

Anne said...

The kids are now 4 and 8, the only person they talk about is Scott the camera guy how sad. A long time ago on the show the phone rang and it was a friend calling for either maddy or cara kate wouldnt allow the call to go through not because it was dinner time but because they are too young to have friends? Kate IMO is so afraid of them abandonging them like she did her family that she is obsesed to keep saying they/we have each other we dont need anyone else. Really the camera guy might be a nice guy but not a got friendship for these kids. Whenever the show does get cancelled they will feel very lonely and like one poster said Kate will probably blame it on the kids. Its time to end the gravey wagon.

Ilovemykids said...

Unless your household is a "Nielsen rating" household, your viewship or non-viewship of a show is inconsequential - your viewing habits are not "captured", so to speak.

Again, by saying nothing, we are complicit in the actions of Kate and Jon. Someone needs to stand up for these children because their parents certainly are not.

Anonymous said...

For what it's worth, Kate will be Kate, no matter what she tries to portray on the show.

Someone posted that Kate made a snarky comment about the kids fighting over the Tonka trucks because there were only 2 - basically flipping off Tonka, who gave them the trucks.
To me, that is indicative of how Kate really is as a person. She is a greedy, ungrateful, nasty b*tch . Even her comments about "nobody knocking down their door to help them" was, again, basically flipping off the hundreds of people that have helped them thus far.

Jon has made enought comments to Kate that he obviously knows right from wrong, yet he does nothing.

These 2 are unbelievable.

Deuce said...

I think these kids will have problems even without the show. I do think the show should be cancelled and no reruns, but I don't see that happening just yet with all the new promos by Kate. These kids really need some privacy!

Anonymous said...

It wont help because they are stuck with Jon and Kate for parents. What will stop is all the focus on these crazy parents, and the kids can have some privacy.

Unfortunately for those kids, Jon and Kate have dollar signs in their eyes, as well as TLC, so they will have to endure the madness till TLC calls it quits.

Anonymous said...

Kate is not going to change because the cameras are turned off. If anything, the situation may get worse for the children. If there isn't enough money coming in for the familiy, Kon will have to get jobs, and take it out on the children that they aren't the huge success that they were before. The tides are now a-changin' and before long the show will be cancelled anyway. The little kids are now becoming big kids, which affects their cute factor. I know I'm not the only one who has noticed...

jen in pa said...

That breaks my heart to hear that there is a "Why I hate Mady" video on YouTube! Can you imagine being a young person, dealing with the normal feelings of being an adolescent, dealing with being a Gosselin, and facing this kind of internet nastiness? What will become of this child? Unless Jon & Kate pull the plug soon, this type of thing will just snowball. Is the almighty dollar really worth doing this to Mady and/or any of the other Gosselin children?

yubicc said...

Jeez, Jen, is that true? That's awful. Why all the vitrol against Mady? I asked before, but no one answered...have KON mentioned kids saying anything to them at schooL? If so, then yeah, the time has come to pull the plug...the said they would when the kids didnt enjoy it anymore...and it obviously seems to be the case. Poor girl. Must be tough to be in that family.

Anonymous said...

My mother is a lot like Kate too. I was extremely embarrassed by her behavior even as a small child. The only difference between the Gosselins and my family is we weren't being exploited and weren't on television for the whole world to see. Very very sad indeed.

Anonymous said...

Very interesting observation. I tend to agree that stopping the show would be both good and bad for the kids. Also, consider this: Do you think Kate behaves better on camera than she does when the cameras are not around? I know I tend to be more patient with my children when we are in public. Do you think Kate screams more or does other undesirable behaviors when no one can see? In that case, having cameras around might actually help those kids!

Anonymous said...

""""Unless your household is a "Nielsen rating" household, your viewship or non-viewship of a show is inconsequential - your viewing habits are not "captured", so to speak."""""

This is true, they will not know how many people are watching, but they use other tactics to find out who is tuning in- for example, this blog. Yes, even though you all hate the show, the producers know this is here and they know that all of you will keep tuning in as long as it's interesting and controversial.

Conflict and letters are not going to stop the show, they will keep it going.

Ilovemykids said...

Yes, even though you all hate the show, the producers know this is here and they know that all of you will keep tuning in as long as it's interesting and controversial.

Well, if the producers read this blog, then they will realize that more and more of us, myself included, have ceased watching this show.

yubicc said...

good point anon 12:44pm

i know i am also better behaved in public- especially around strangers. can you imagine how she yells, demeans, and demands when no one is watching? Maybe Mady et al's outbursts are not b/c of (solely) being on camera, but also b/c their mother is much much worse than she lets on.

Wow. Think about that...the person we think is a monster is actually on her best behavior for the cameras. Oh my.

Anonymous said...

Is the almighty dollar really worth doing this to Mady and/or any of the other Gosselin children?

Obviously to Jon and Kate, it is.

Anonymous said...

Anne: Kate never said that they were too young to have friends. She said that they were too young to have friends calling them when they are only 7 years old and when they are trying to eat dinner and then getting everyone ready for bed.

Anonymous said...

Ilovemykids said...
Yes, even though you all hate the show, the producers know this is here and they know that all of you will keep tuning in as long as it's interesting and controversial.

Well, if the producers read this blog, then they will realize that more and more of us, myself included, have ceased watching this show.


I'm not watching but I do read the blog to see what horrid example Kate and Jon are giving their kidlets this week. And hoping that their will be an announcement of the end of the series. And when the other poster was discussing the damage done to the children I just saw the lady that played Marcia Brady has a book out and even she was adversely effected from doing a TV show that was rather nice with people she liked. So regardless of how much the kiddies love the camera man it's not going to save them from the abnormal pyschology that develops in tv land.

Anne said...

I think someone is already getting the message how most of us feel here. We watch the show then we send emails/letters to sponsors, people, abc and so on. I think the reason the book tour is dead is because of the people watching the show and then having their voices be heard regarding kate/kids working/etc etc. Advertisers love controvery but when its all negative and people are threatening not to ues their products they dont like it. IMO

jen in pa said...

yubicc 12:29pm...

Yes, the video exists and its repulsive. Mady is just a little girl. She may need directed towards more appropriate behavior (believe me, I understand as I have on of those myself!), but again, she is just a child. Her parents are responsible for her being the target of such hate by strangers. It's disgusting and Jon and Kate are disgusting.

Anonymous said...

"Advertisers love controvery but when its all negative and people are threatening not to ues their products they dont like it."

Very true. I don't know if anyone remembers, but a few years ago Clairol was set to air a commercial featuring Omarosa (aka the beeyotch from The Apprentice). They got such negative reaction - people threatening to boycott their products etc, that they pulled the commercial. I'm pretty sure no one else wanted her promoting their products after that.

I'm very surprised that these companies who are working with Kate have done absolutely no research into her at all.

It makes me sick that these two are being rewarded so generously for their bad behaviour. I will continue to write to all their sponsors and let them know what I think.

Anonymous said...

I had a step-mother who was JUST like Kate. My sister & I felt like we were walking on eggshells around her at all times. Its a terrible feeling, knowing that at anytime, something you do could set this lady off. In public, everything was wonderful with us, but at home, we all just did our best to stay away from her! She as a selfish narcassist who fed on the attention of others. Kate reminds me of her sooo much (they even look a LOT alike, ugh everytime i watch Kate, I see her!!). I can only imagine its going to get a lot worse for those kids as they get older and start going throught that "teenage angst" stage. At least in my case, that shrew is no longer my step-mom, these kids have no escaping.

Anonymous said...

Co-written by Carson, Multiple Blessings reveals details of the couple's journey as they raise their eight children, while striving to honor Christ in spite of emotional, financial, social and physical exhaustion.
_______________
What a load of BS!

Anonymous said...

1) Childhood is cruel. You will never be able to stop kids from making fun of other kids, but to willingly put them in a situation that they didn't chose that makes it harder for them? That's irresponsible... and that's what J&K have been doing. Kids are jealous of other kids when they are famous- watch any biography of Christina or Britney or child actors who had to then go back and attend school. The difference is those children chose to be in the spotlight and in industries with safeguards protecting them. The Gosselin children don't have that, nor did they choose this.

2) Something that has definitely concerned me is the sheer number of people that go in and out of that house. How do they know that no one is going to hurt a child or touch them inappropriately? On really busy days (such as the GH shoot) how do they even know that some other person isn't going to walk in and grab one? How long would it even take them to notice?

Anonymous said...

When Jon and Kate renewed their vows that was said to have happened in August right, well last Mondays episode was in September because it was 911, perhaps the renewal of vows really was sincere because (so far, and my fingers are crossed that it continues) they have been much nicer to each other, the kids, and every one in general. Im hoping that they may have realized what they were doing to the people they love. I'm sure they planned on having an episode about the renewal until they read all the ha, ha who is attending this farce blog entries. They realized it would just be more fodder for the non-sheeple to mock the facade of the greatly loved Kate. If anything was real about the "love" they would have had family members all over the place not having to make due with Cara as the "best man", what a joke.
So they scrapped that episode like the ball room dance and soup ones. Maybe one day when the show ends they will tack them on as all new never seen extras but until then those episodes will collect dust.

Anonymous said...

It will help those poor children if the show were to stop airing. It's difficult enough becoming a tween, never mind all your school mates watching their train wreck as a mother. However, I'm sure once the boys become young men they will see re-runs or a DVD and understand that their mother is a male hater.

Yep, it's simple, a real no-brainer ... mother's normally put their children's needs first, Kate has zero concept of mothering, she has no concept on being a good human being either though. Case in point, destroying every healthy, loving relationship her children have ever known ... Aunt Jodi, thank god you were there for a few years in the children's life.