Money Doesn't Buy Happiness

So often we hear that Jon and Kate are right to sell their children’s childhood's because they have 8 kids and that’s expensive. They need the money they get from Figure 8 and TLC, they have 8 kids to feed (organically), clothe (in matching designer outfits), educate (at a pricey private school), and shelter (in a house many would consider very large even for a family of 10). The fact that Jon and Kate don’t actually have jobs besides hawking their kid’s privacy, or that they don’t actually pay for the majority of the clothes (donated by sponsors), the school (tuition rumored to be covered by someone else), the house (thanks TV specials, friends, and nice church people), or food (more donations, sponsors, and craft services) aside, they seem to be missing the big picture. Money doesn’t buy, or guarantee, happiness.

How many of us, or our kids, grew up wearing only designer clothes, eating organic food provided by a private chef, had special perks everywhere we went, or places open up to our family on a day they were supposed to be closed? Would it have been nice from time to time? Of course. But did we suffer for not having these things? Probably not. On the flip side, we didn’t have studio lighting, our bedrooms rigged with cameras, mic packs attached to us, a crew filming us 3-4 days a week for a couple years, our bad days captured on video, or our parent’s screaming caught and played on basic cable for the whole country, and our classmates, to see. Over and over and over again. Do the Gosselin kids suffer for it? It would seem that we are seeing at least the beginnings of issues stemming from this, girls throwing up from anxiety issues, boys shutting down, and kids playing to, or running away from, the cameras.

Which kids will be happier in the long run? Only time will tell, but I can make my guess right now. Figure 8 and TLC money might afford a lot of material things right now, but what will the kids have to show for it in 10 years? Happiness and fond memories or bitterness and recollections of always having to be “on” for the film crew that was camped out in the living room? If given the choice between living a modest life, one not full of perks and designer clothes, or living on a set, I know what I would want for a child. And it doesn’t include studio lighting.

45 comments:

Anonymous said...

No Money does not buy happiness. I dont think that anyone in the Gosselin household are truly happy. This may be a little off topic but I think it needs to be said. I think that more of the towns people need to come forward about this couple. Pennmommy did a courageous thing and I think more people who have information should tell it to end this tv circus. Many people are getting scammed by this couple, by giving them love offering. The people in tv land are taking this nice, young, and attractive couple for their word. It is not right for Jon and Kate to plead proverty while, Kate is seen clutching a desinger hand bags that cost more than what most people make in one pay check. Towns people go as a group to talk to the newpaper, or, television station to get the truth out there. The community came together for the kid's before, and they are need of your help now to end this show. Kate is really trying to put herself out there as the next June Clever when we all know based on her antics she is just another Joan Crawford. This is off topic but I do not know of any mother with 8 kids and who is unemployed, (also have an unemployed husband) be able to afford to go to a spa once a month.

ThreeFarmers said...

Well said.

I didn't mention it in the recap, but in this week's episode, Joel clearly says "Go away, camera."

peas and carrots said...

I keep remembering this old saying:

"All good things must come to an end."

Not that this show is a good thing, but eventually there will be an end point where the networks no longer find it attractive or interesting and I bet you will see a gradual weaning of the show series wise and it will go onto them broadcasting a special here or there and then eventually nothing at all. Lets hope this comes sooner rather than later.

Ilovemykids said...

I'm not sure how much more material Figure 8 can come up with. The last few episodes have been extremely boring. People will start tuning out very quickly.

Birdie Girl said...

You brought up something that just hit me. Not only would it be embarrassing to have my potty training on TV for all of my classmates to see, but my parents fighting too.

I remember when I was a kid and would be outside playing with my friends only to hear my parents loudly arguing through the open windows of our house. I was mortified. Only I knew how bad my parent's relationship was. I certainly didn't want my friends to know that my parents argued so much.

Those poor children.

Chris said...

You want to know something interesting? My husband has a good job, we have a comfortable life. We travel/go on vacation about 4 times a year. My oldest daughter's (who is now 17) fondest memories, when I asked her, was when we'd sit and bake on Christmas Eve when she was younger (we still do that now, but when she was little she said it was even more fun because it was just me and her doing it) also she said the times we took her to the park or riding her bike around the neighborhood. My youngest daughter who is five, is saying her funnest time on our last vacation to California was spending time with Grandma and playing board games. Oh and we spent the money, we took the kids to Disney, Knotts, Legoland, yeah all the expensive parks and fun restaurants. Her best memory on this last trip? Spending time with grandma and helping her deliver her Avon orders (she's an Avon Lady.) :)

My point it, alot of times kids fondest memories, won't be the money you've spent on them, the new matching clothes or lavish vacations. They will remember the little things. But my question is, do the Gosselin 8 have any "little things" to remember their childhoods from with happy memories and thoughts as they get older?

If we are judging by what we see on TV, I would say not. They are being taught that in order to have "memories" and "traditions" it entails spending lots and lots of money and going to the most expensive far away places to try to "forge" memories on these kids.

I don't see the "little moments" happening in this family. Granted we don't see everything that goes on, but we do see alot and we can get a good jist of Kate and Jon and their parenting style.

I doubt these kids will even appreciate where they've gone and what they've done. My case in point is when Kate turned to Mady when they were leaving Utah and asked her if she had a good time. Mady said she didn't. Kate said something rude about her staying home next time (forgot the exact words) and Mady ran off to her room and slammed the door. Are those happy memories? And did Kate help by saying next time she could stay home? I just don't get this woman and her idea of "happy." These kids are going to be so sad when they grow up. They are being raised with no stable foundation of happiness and security. And they're not being given, or witnessing, true happiness. Because their parents have no idea what the meaning of true happiness is.

Anonymous said...

3Farmers, you are right! I do remember hearing Joel say "Go away camera!!" Wasn't Aaden next to him nodding yes as well?

Anonymous said...

Hum. Wonder where the kids would learn, "go away camera" from? The parents or the twins?

My thought is that when Kate doesn't want the cameras around, she probably talks to the cameraman like that.

Anonymous said...

Last night the Discovery channel had reruns about the Dilley sextuplets and another set of sextuplets. Wow, what a difference these families were from the Gosselins. One family even invited all their "helpers" to their sextuplets' first birthday party as a thank-you. These families are doing just fine without all the extra perks the Gosselins get, and with way less complaining.

I wonder what these other parents think of J&K, sitting on their interview couch, complaining about how tired they are and how much work their kids are?? These are parents who really have "walked in their shoes."

Anonymous said...

In response to: "I wonder what these other parents think of J&K, sitting on their interview couch, complaining about how tired they are and how much work their kids are?? These are parents who really have "walked in their shoes."

The differences between the Gosselin family and the Dilley family is amazing. The Dilley family have faced challenging times and perservered by way of hard work and family dedication. Mr & Mrs Dilley's dedication to preserving the family's dignity and privacy over that of material goods, $$$$, and notoriety is commendable. They didnt require a camera and production crew to 'bring the family closer'.
Unlike the choices of J & K Gimmie More Gosselin who have placed their self serving agenda of $$$ and notoriety over that of preserving the integrity and privacy of their children.

Anonymous said...

I am so tired of the "You just don't know how hard twins and tups are." Get over it. Life is hard. People who are single with no kids have hard lives and people with two kids perfectly spaced have hard lives. Get over it.

fostersmom said...

Chris said....
My point it, alot of times kids fondest memories, won't be the money you've spent on them, the new matching clothes or lavish vacations. They will remember the little things. But my question is, do the Gosselin 8 have any "little things" to remember their childhoods from with happy memories and thoughts as they get older?


That's exactly the kind of thing I was thinking of when I wrote this. I grew up with a single mom and we were dirt poor. I never knew how poor until I was older. We didn't vacation, we didn't wear designer clothes, and we lived in a tiny apartment. But we were happy. My fondest memories aren't the 2 vacations we ever took. I couldn't tell you what I wore. My favorite memories are of going to a local stone castle and playing in the rooms. All that cost a was a quarter tank of gas. Or when we had game day on Sunday and played for hours, winner picking what game to play next. My grandpa letting me and my sister do his hair and makeup! My grandma asking how many pieces we wanted our sandwiches cut into.... and doing it even when the answer was 11. None of these took money or elaborate trips or, for the most part, even leaving the house. It was just being. I don't think Kate, and Jon to a lesser extent, even understands that's possible.

Anonymous said...

I totally agree with all the comments. I have a daughter who is very close to the sextuplets' age and she likes her privacy. ALL children need to have some kind of privacy and secrets...not to be shown on national T.V.

Anonymous said...

fostersmom said, "My favorite memories are of going to a local stone castle and playing in the rooms. All that cost a was a quarter tank of gas. Or when we had game day on Sunday and played for hours, winner picking what game to play next. My grandpa letting me and my sister do his hair and makeup! My grandma asking how many pieces we wanted our sandwiches cut into.... and doing it "

That is what I think too. Kate is always talking about "memories" yet what kind of memories is she creating for her children? Will they have fond memories of their mother reading them a bedtime story (as mine did) or of their mother tossing a ball with them? No,their memories will be a mother freaking out over gum on their toys, or melting down because they got ice cream on their clothes. A mother who thinks its fun to have the kids sweep the floor instead of sitting down and playing a board game with the kids.

Kate isn't much as far as creating normal memories for her kids; or even fond ones for that matter.

Kristee said...

~~~anonymous said...
Last night the Discovery channel had reruns about the Dilley sextuplets and another set of sextuplets. Wow, what a difference these families were from the Gosselins. ~~~

The Dilley family is just adorable! I remember watching all of their specials and admiring their parents. The early ones show the parents a little stressed out, but not the whining complainers that J&K are. I watched a family of 13 today and the parents didn't yell, scream or have any negative things to say about their children or each other....HELLO, Jon and Kate are ya watching these parents and children?? THEY are the ones we all should admire.

The Dilley children are polite and adorable. They have a cute home, non matching outfits and parents who seem to really like each other. As my daughter just said "They are everything the Gosselins are not." Thank goodness the Dilley children were allowed to grow up in privacy, and that their parents respected them enough to let them.

ginger said...

Is it just me, or do Jon & Kate seem to complain and whine more and more as the kids get older? Shouldnt it be getting a little easier for them? Come on people!

I love when they air Kids by the Dozen on Mondays before J&K. Its so nice to see families that actually get along, WORK to support their families, and help each other.

It kind of makes J&K look like a joke. Funny!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
"I am so tired of the "You just don't know how hard twins and tups are." Get over it. Life is hard. People who are single with no kids have hard lives and people with two kids perfectly spaced have hard lives. Get over it."

I agree 100% ! J & K really need to get over themselves already! The more J & K drone on about how difficult their life is, the more they come across as absolutely down right foolish.

Anonymous said...

The Dilleys were on Rachel Ray before this school year started and Rachel had JC Penneys donate a couple oufits apiece for the kids and gift cards for the parents. They were all so incredibly excited and the mom moved to tears. Those are the kind of people I like to help, they dont expect it and appreciate even the smallest gestures. Another great family is the Jeubs- they were on before Kon Monday night- they do it with hand me downs and "real" bargain shopping. ( not the look for change in the couch advice Kate gave us!! LOL) These two families know what its like to "just get by". I may sound a little silly, but I grew up "making do" and I think some of our best times together were when we did not have extra money. I remember a whole lot of car rides, to nowhere!! And we enjoyed it. Thats the kind of stuff that makes memories and builds character. Kate may be trying to give the kids the childhood that she *thinks* that she wanted.

Kristee said...

I grew up with parents who thought we needed big expensive vacations to make family memories. We travelled a lot, Disney~Bermuda~Greece. My parents had an explosive marriage so I think they were trying extra hard to have BIG vacations they thought would make a difference. The truth is, while those vacations were wonderful my happiest memories were from the small things they did for us. Riding in the back of my dad's truck eating Wacky Wafers, rock jumping in the river next to Grams, looking through the JC Penney Christmas catalog w/mom. Expensive doesn't equal a great memory. The old saying "the best things in life are free" could be a great lesson for Katie Irene to learn.

Anonymous said...

Tonight in the Gosselin home- Running around, barking orders, packing medicine in case they dont eat all organic food and getting ready for a trip to the Big Apple. I bet they have their whole schpiel (sp) ready for the millions of Regis and Kelly viewers!! Cant wait to see if this will be made into an episode for TLC. Cant wait to see or hear about the freebies they receive, Cant wait to see how fast their book is going to move up the charts. UGH!!! this is never going to end.

goldensglitter said...

When I was a kid, there was not alot of money to go around...but things I remember most is going to kiddieland and riding on the Scrambler with my Dad, having the only bike on the block, sharing it with all the kids on the block. Going trick or treating for hours on end. Having to be back on the front porch in the summer when the street lights came on. My dad waking me up at midnite to share the buttered noodles he made. Dad pulling me and my brother thru the snow on a sled. Sears Christmas catalogue, my first Barbie doll, these are all so simple things that I still think of from time to time. I cannot remember much about our trips and vacations really.

Watching Super Quads tonite with the 4 identical quad girls....what a normal, loving family whom I am sure have had their hands full and pockets drained. Very heartwarming to watch, in stark contrast to the always confrontational, nervewracking J&K, and I just luv their southern drawl. So normal, very interesting.

Anonymous said...

Excellent post, fostersmom. Money does NOT buy happiness. Having a comfortable life and a happy one are often two completely different things. If you are miserable and your family is dysfunctional, that follows you on your expenseive vacations or whereever you go. The drama, arguments, explosions and scenes usually mar or ruin whatever "memories" are being made.

These kids have plenty to be embarrassed about just with their own privacy being breeched and their own misbehavior broadcast, but I had not thought about the children's embarrassment at seeing the bad behavior of their parents televised and being teased about it.

CTmom said...

You are all so right on the money with Kate.

She is trying to relive a childhood that she wanted for herself through the kids. All this traveling and expensive free vacations is what Kate wanted as a child. Whenever someone tries to step in and voice their concern of what this show is doing to the kids, she cuts them out of their life forever. She will never bend. So sad. Jon goes along for the free ride.

How they still have fans is beyond me. Can they not see that all the kids birthdays are done with no other outside children? The renewal of vows, no extended family members? Doesn't seem odd to them? Whats wrong with these "so-called fans?" Wake up people.

CTmom said...

All of use with young children, (mine are 5 and 7) cannot imagine forcing our kids to wear what we pick for them everyday. They have their own opinions starting at about 3 years old about clothes. As long as it is weather appropriate, you let them pick and they feel good about themselves, their independence. Can you imagine the meltdowns that go on with the Twins at age 8! The tups at age 4 must have started wanting to pick their own clothes. Can you imagine Mommy Dearest in those kinds of moments yelling at them, they will wear what she tells them to. Kateis a nightmare as a mother and really should not have had children (or not so many) in my opinion. I mean Kate seemed okay in the beginning episodes, but the money and the greed has made her appear like a monster.

Anonymous said...

"I wonder what these other parents think of J&K, sitting on their interview couch, complaining about how tired they are and how much work their kids are?? These are parents who really have "walked in their shoes."

I've often wondered the same thing too, and would love to hear what they would have to say. I think they would have done just fine with the speeches (I do think they would have gotten do to some), and the book, and working, instead of the kids working.

I think all the trips are going to be one huge blue in their minds, they always seemed stressed and rushed. I think the one on one times will be special memories to them, but everything else seems to be robotic and not fun at all.

CTmom said...

Wake up "so-called" fans!

Is it normal to make your kids all dress the same at these ages?

Is it normal to not let the kids have any outside contact with friends or family? Kate does not let the girls have friends, phone calls from other classmates are discarded, they take Mady and Cara out to dinner at a restaurant for their 7th birthday and say its Mady and Cara that wanted it that way, give me a break! The girls are 7, they need friends, not a TV show.

Is it normal to not have any extended family members in the kids lives because they don't agree with you wanting the show?

I could go on an on and on...

Anonymous said...

The new "People" article discusses the money that they are now making. It also mentions that all of the children want to continue the "family business".

It restate the fact that no one else understands them. Therefore, there is no extended family in their lives.

sammysam said...

Anonymous said...
The new "People" article discusses the money that they are now making. It also mentions that all of the children want to continue the "family business".

What is the "family business"? Begging, scamming, telling untruths?
The good news is...they probably won't need a college fund.
Sorry, my head blew off when I read this.

Peas and Carrots said...

"The new "People" article discusses the money that they are now making. It also mentions that all of the children want to continue the "family business"."

OMG what a load of crap this is. How can 4 and 7 year olds make this kind of decision? This is a parental decision IMHO.

I don't know what kind of special memories these people are making. Heaven forbid the poop pictures or potty training pictures show up at one of the kids wedding receptions.

I agree with some of the others here, where are the little moments? Where we live we don't often get snow, so when it does snow I will wake my daughter up in the middle of the night and we go play in the snow, because it is usually gone by morning. What about those kinds of memories.

Sigh. Very sad indeed.

Anonymous said...

"It restate the fact that no one else understands them. Therefore, there is no extended family in their lives."

So in J & K's logic, if someone doesnt 'understand you' or agree with your choices, then the solution is to simply banish those indivuals from your life? Reality check . Just because some one , including that of family and blood relatives doesnt understand you, or agree with your life decisions doesnt mean that those individuals wont or dont have the ability to offer stability, consistency, and support in other aspects in life. IMO, the reason why Kate is estranged from her family is not because of their inability to 'understand' but because she approaches everything in life as a one sided business contract with self serving terms and conditions, 'stand with me or against me'. Kate has simply cast her family aside like a business deal gone bad.

Peas and Carrots said...

"It restate the fact that no one else understands them. Therefore, there is no extended family in their lives."

What a sad way to live your life. It deprives your children of meaningful family bonds. They may regret this at some point in their lives. Tt is those bonds that help us know who we are, where we came from and tradition, not to mention support and love.

This type of behavior of 'cutting' people out of their lives because of disagreement is immature and there is almost something sick about it. What are they teaching their children with this? Are they teaching them to bail out because a relationship has gotten tough? This type of behavior has more far reaching implications and in future when the children have relationships they may cut people out and this could be disasterous for marriages.

J&K should be worried that because of this they are firmly implanting this and their kids might one day turn their backs on them. I wonder how they would feel about that. A light bulb should be coming on here and reassessment of how they conduct relationships with family members.

Anonymous said...

You know, when those kids become teenagers, Kate is going to be going CRAZY! The not-nice part of me wants the show to capture THAT.

Christi said...

Is it just me, or do Jon & Kate seem to complain and whine more and more as the kids get older?

Seems that way to me, too. Maybe it's just that they're in the spotlight more now, or maybe it's just that we know how much help they really have, and the exhaustion seems so out of place.

Shouldnt it be getting a little easier for them?
Yes, usually, I'd say. It's a balancing act - some things get easier, some get more complicated, plus you get more experienced as you go. The G's should have some experience already, having had the twins first. (Having sextuplets first would really be sink-or-swim time.)

I've got a 2-year-old. We're getting more sleep than we did last year (yay!), but Toddler-boy is much more mobile and starting to have his own opinions now. Grocery shopping is easier since he's riding in the cart and not a stroller. On the other hand, going to the library without the stroller is harder, because I need a third arm to juggle the purse, library books, and library card while holding Toddler's hand. He tried to make a run for the toy area today while I was trying to pay for a book loan and shove the new books in the tote.

Mine's still pretty flexible with wearing whatever, but there are already shirts he prefers over others. I'd hate to have to convince 6 or 8 kids to wear matching outfits. What if one's more cold-natured than the others, and wants long sleeves instead of short, or vice versa?

Anonymous said...

You know - I would not have wanted a film crew in my house growing up. I am the oldest of 8 and we certainly never had a brand name on our clothes unless it was given to us as a handmedown or gotten at a thrift store.

I would be completely mortified as an adult now to have film documentation of my potty training years and when I was a teen in school, I would've wanted to change my name so as not to be known! I can't see how this could possibly be worth it. I didn't grow up on organic food and yet I am healthy. I didn't have brand new designer clothing and I don't need therapy. My teeth are not white, my belly is about as impressive as a big lump of bread dough - and yet, I am happy anyway. The last "vacation" I had was 4 days in the hospital following my last csection and a family reunion (we flew with six kids and 5 checked bags total and only 2 adults - me and spouse - yeah, I was exasted!)

I see these two sitting further and further away from each other on the couch the newer the episode and the child-drawn signs saying "keep out!" (which is something I would expect from my 14 year old - not from a 6?7? year old?) and I think that maybe you can see a train wreck before it happens.

I have to admit - I find the situation of two sets of multiples and 6 babies at once (I have six kids spread over 13 years) interesting. I would be just as content with a once a year or even less special (the 'tups turn 5!) like the McCaugheys or the Dilley's did and I almost wonder if those sweet kids would be much more content that way too.

Anonymous said...

What's ironic -- or actually ridiculous -- is the Gosselin parents declaring that the children all want to continue the "family business." Now these are the same parents who give the children ZERO say in what they can wear, a minor decision in most households, but all of a sudden, the kids are getting a vote on continuing the show. Really??

Not to mention that even if that were true, which I don't believe for one millisecond, why would you permit your child to make that kind of decision when they don't have the experience and knowledge to make such a decision? Furthermore, what happens to the child who perhaps doesn't want to continue?? Does his or her vote carry any weight??

Give me a break, mass media. Ask hard questions and don't accept pablum for answers.

michelle said...

What is figure 8?
I have never heard of this?

Anonymous said...

"It restate the fact that no one else understands them. Therefore, there is no extended family in their lives."

I think the truth hurts, and that's the real reason that there is no extended family in their lives, J&K don't like hearing it, and kick out all that try to talk some sense into them. I think they probably think the family is jealous of them and their "celeb" status.

michelle said...

People are not watching a "reality" show of a young couple with multiples trying to make ends meet and managing(sp) twins and six tuplets with an average income from one parent working (Jon) and a stay at home mom.

No, we are watching a family growing rich and "famous" through their children (at the expense of the children). We are watching a couple using all the perks that have been offered to them (free trips, material things,etc.) for an episode.

How could a mom watch an episode and see her own son, Joel say "Go away camera" and not have it touch your consious and realize what you are both doing to your children. My heart went out to that little boy when he said this. My heart went out (with a red flag) to one of the tup girls when she was trying to tell Kate, "I feel nervous" and Kate dismissed her and laughed.

Anonymous said...

What is figure 8?
I have never heard of this?

michelle--Figure 8 is the company that produces the show.

Anonymous said...

Your post is so true. Celebrities in Hollywood (not all actors are celebrities) give up their privacy for what they do as a job (for the most part). And, think of the lengths that these same celebrities go to (for the most part) to shield and protect their children from cameras and public consumption of their childhoods. A reality show isn't a "job". Anyway, I much prefer the freedoms found in privacy and anonymity than a life of public display for cash, assets, and wealth.

ScarySkierNJ said...

I am so happy to have found this site! I have been reading through some threads and maybe I missed it, but what happened to Beth and Bob? Didn't Jon leave his job to work for Bob and than like a week later he was saying he was working from home? What happened to Beth who went to Ikea with her and flew out to Utah and had them over every Sunday after church? Again, sorry if I missed it, but I am just wondering if they ran her off too!

Anonymous said...

Michelle said: How could a mom watch an episode and see her own son, Joel say "Go away camera" and not have it touch your consious and realize what you are both doing to your children. My heart went out to that little boy when he said this. My heart went out (with a red flag) to one of the tup girls when she was trying to tell Kate, "I feel nervous" and Kate dismissed her and laughed.
_________
How can anybody say that "Jon and Kate love their children," when they do things like this day in and day out a million times a day? I am always a bit shocked especially when posters here on GWoP make this comment. If they loved their kids, they would not be doing what they do. MHO.

Ravello said...

Someone asked what happened to Beth and Bob. There have been blog reports from insiders that they were banished, a la Kevin and Jodi. I don't think we know exactly what happened to Beth who seemed to really love the kids. Others may now and be able to post.

There is lots of information in Julie's blog about what happened with Jodi.

It is very sad the kids lost their loving surrogate mothers- Jodi, Beth and others are gone. These ladies really loved the kids and probably put up with all kind of garbage from Kate.

It was no accident they did not have a 4th birthday party for the tups. No one left to invite. Instead we got to see the misery of cupcakegate.

pullthegosselinplug said...

Now, it's "Nobody understands us" - that has taken the place of "they just didn't know how to help us" - so they are moving to North Carolina to be closer to those that know "how to help them" EXPLOIT THEIR CHILDREN and that is Figure 8.

quietlyconcerned said...

Speaking of cupcategate--

Did Jon REALLY wish the boys (who were made to sit at the table and watch the girls eat their cupcakes) "Happy Birthday" while he ate their cupcakes? Did I understand that correctly?

If he even ate one crumb of icing from the cupcakes he is nothing but a nasty pig.

You know, these poor kids must CRINGE when their parents come in the room.