Just the Twins....

I know we usually focus on all of the kids, but I got to thinking about the twins this past week. First we heard Kate say that they will continue to do the show as long as the family wants, it makes them stronger as a family, and the kids are happy with it. Just a few days later we learn that Cara and Mady both have had upsetting things said to them at school. Then the real train wreck came.... the Good Housekeeping photo shoot. When does the toll on the twins take precedence over Jon and Kate’s desires? Does it ever?

The tups don’t know any different, obviously not a good thing, but right now they are impacted less than the twins. They don’t remember a time when they weren’t taped a couple times a week, a time when there wasn’t a camera crew standing in their living room, and they probably don’t understand what this all means. At this point in their lives, this is just how their family lives. The twins, on the other hand, know this to be untrue.

It seems that almost every week, we see a very unhappy set of twins. Cara and Mady both are prone to outbursts. Cara almost seems nonexistent in most episodes, sometimes I don’t even remember seeing her at all. According to Kate, she lets things build silently for weeks and then has a meltdown. Mady is, more often than not, voicing her obvious displeasure with the entire scene. She’s either mugging for the camera or lashing out for it to go away. She’s said time and time again that she’s not happy at whatever event or place they’ve dragged the kids to. She just wants to leave and go home. The twins have put up a “no cameras allowed” sign. No matter how you cut it, that’s not right.

The twins know that what’s going on in their lives isn’t the norm. They know that their friends don’t have to wear a mic pack at home or have studio lights in the living room. There’s not a production crew in the kitchen when their friends get off the school bus. Jon and Kate are anything but careful about criticizing the kids, Mady more so than Cara. Do their friends repeat these things? Do the mean kids use Kate’s words to make fun of Mady? When Kate hauls off with a “love tap”, do the kids at school ask why their mom hits their dad? It’s not a stretch to assume that not only are the kids at school watching, they are repeating what they see and hear. Kids question. Kids don’t have that built in sensor to not bring up the embarrassing stuff they see. Kids mock. Kids are mean.

What are the twins getting from all of this? Jon and Kate get perks, their bills paid, all sorts of freebies, and don’t have to go work a real job. The tups get to go places and have people send them stuff in the mail. This is their life as they know it. Unfortunately it seems the twins are getting the short end of the reality show stick. They have to deal with kids at school, they get dragged to places not suited for their age because they have to appear in an episode, and the perks they get lag behind everyone else. We’ve seen them be afterthoughts on more than one occasion. Most of the pictures we see of the kids, one, if not both, of the girls has a sad, defeated look on her face. They get to be mocked and picked on, all so mom and dad never have to work a day in their lives. Two 8 year olds are bearing the brunt of the weight of the show. That doesn’t sit well with me. So why does it with their parents?

48 comments:

Anonymous said...

Just saw the "Twins turn 6" and the "Twins turn 7" episodes.

In each, Mady acts like a rude, spoiled brat...ON HER BIRTHDAYs, days that should be filled with excitement and childhood fantasy.

This child needs some serious help. She obviously (as has been stated by her parents) has some issues with the tups and her own position in the family (and in life)and what looks to me like a complete lack of respect for her parents. This must be addressed SOON.

This is clearly a child that has been left behind in all the hoopla of the tups, the trips, and the money.

I can almost excuse some of the other issues, but it just breaks my heart to see this sad, MAD, and neglected child. Yes, they have a lot on their plate, but it will just get worse and worse if this is not corrected quickly.

dirtydisher said...

Your last question is so easy to answer. It sits fine with Jon and Kate because they are slow, dim witted, uneducated, unmotivated, lazy people who gave birth to their only claim to fame and they long see themselves as famous and rich. If that goal affects their children in a negative way, then so be it.

And BTW, I don't know if anyone's discussed this here, but,I just noticed how Kate looks to the camera person everytime one of her kids does or says something cute. Every single time. The woman just can't enjoy her children without looking to an outside source for validation. I find it quite odd.

Anonymous said...

Something I can't figure out. What's up with the principal, teachers, counselors, nurse, psychologist, etc. at the twins' school. They must know who the girls are and what their home life (if you can call it that) is all about. Do they dismiss Mady's mercurial mood swings and outbursts as "low blood sugar" like Kate does? Do they "rave about" 8 year old Cara's talons and gush "she could be a hand model" like Kate does? Do those professionals, who interact personally with the twins on a daily basis, not see the same bizarre warning signs as we all see? And if they do, why don't they do something about it?

Anonymous said...

I agree with most everything you said.
I agree that the twins do seem unhappy. And that's a terrible shame. They grow up so fast - Kate has already said she dreads the day she has an empty nest.

However I will say that family outings that are age-appropriate for the youngest child/ren is somewhat normal. I am 6.5 years older than my brother and remember being an adolescent and going with my family to Sesame Place (yes, the same Sesame Place where J&K+kids went earlier this summer).

And I had a blast.

I thoroughly enjoyed taking my little brother through the ball pit, obstacle course, water rides, and seeing his excitement when he met the characters.

I don't think it's right to criticize Kate & Jon for bringing Mady & Cara along on family outings that seem more appropriate for the little kids. That's just life when you have kids of different age range.
I do agree that they seem to be on a Magical Mystery Tour sponsored by TLC and a whole myriad of theme parks, but it's not totally unreasonable for J&K to bring Cara & Mady along to "little kid" places.

Ravello said...

I agree with your observations on the twins. What is wrong with their parents? They seem tone deaf and oblivious to the issues viewers clearly see.
Mady and Cara's wishes are almost never honored. Kate is constantly telling them they must do this or they must do that for the sake of the " Little ones". Truthfully, they must do this or they must do that for the sake of Jon and Kate and to continue the cash flow.
It is very sad.

Anonymous said...

I agree with you completely. The twins real feelings about the circus they call their life is very evident on their sad faces each week. Their parents should be ashamed of themselves. They are paying a high price for their parents extreme greed and laziness.

Anonymous said...

I had children of different ages and made sure to do activities appropriate for all of them. It can easily breed resentment when everything appears done because of one child or group of childen. It didn't hurt any of the younger children to go with the oldest on a college tour. In fact it saved time on later ones. The older ones always managed to find entertainment at the kiddie amusement parks because they knew the next day or week something would be done for them.

Anonymous said...

There are Facebook pages devoted to the twins. In particular, there is one for Mady where mainly adolescent girls are posting disturbing negative and mean comments. This is horrific. KON has put their kids out there and made them prey to all kinds of nuts and freaks. Their unkind words about Mady will never really go away thanks to the internet. How can KON NOT give a damn that people are trashing their daughter??? I am so upset I can hardly write this. When is somebody going to end this? I hope KON gets their appropriate karmic due and I KNOW it will not be pretty.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Something I can't figure out. What's up with the principal, teachers, counselors, nurse, psychologist, etc. at the twins' school. They must know who the girls are and what their home life (if you can call it that) is all about. Do they dismiss Mady's mercurial mood swings and outbursts as "low blood sugar" like Kate does? Do they "rave about" 8 year old Cara's talons and gush "she could be a hand model" like Kate does? Do those professionals, who interact personally with the twins on a daily basis, not see the same bizarre warning signs as we all see? And if they do, why don't they do something about it?
_______________________
Anon, you have to be right on target about that! The twins horrible life situation has to have an impact on many levels on their school life. Maybe the teachers, principal, counselor, etc. have noticed it and are trying to intervene. I pray they are. This intervention, however, is something we will never know about - we can only hope.

Alexandra said...

anon 12:56

I don't think the issue is that they bring the twins to all the places they tups go, it's the fact that there is never anything special that CATERS to their particular age. Everything is based around the tups. Their life is based around the tups. For once, when it isn't their birthday, the day should be about them. They need to feel special, and I don't think they do :(

Thalia Menninger said...

Mady, so aptly named. The child has such issues with anger. I've always been a Mady fan, and I honestly worry about that sweet little girl. She has such a spark, that one. It's so obvious her needs are not being met by the adults in her life.

Anonymous said...

I'm sure it doesn't help the twins' situation at school that they are pulled from school on a regular basis to make guest appearances on television talk shows and at other events that Jon and Kate's PR firm sign them up for.

There is NO possible way Cara and Mady (and the tups) will ever live a normal life. The outbursts, the tantrums, the bathroom usage, the showering, etc. are not one time things for viewers to see. Those moments are being TIVO'd. Those moments are being downloaded. Those moments are being PURCHASED on DVDs for people to watch over and over forever and ever.

Say Jon and Kate pull the show today. Great, for now. But what about when the kids go off and go to college and one of their classmates or fraternity brothers or sorority sisters decides to be funny, spiteful, vindictive, or whatever and breaks out the footage of the kids having a meltdown, potty training, getting sick, or being bathed?

Don't forget about the wonderful world of YouTube and MySpace videos.

The Gosselin kids will NEVER be able to outlive the footage of their most private moments that have been captured and and distributed for the viewing pleasure of people (the innocent and the sick) all over the world.

How unfortunate for them. How unfortunate especially considering the two people who could have done something to stop this from happening are still claiming that this is a GOOD thing for their family.

Anonymous said...

The episode for me that sticks out as one where the twins were extremely unhappy and disappointed was the Crayola Factory episode.
The twins were unhappy because they were not allowed to participate in age appropriate activititews and much of their parent's time and attention was devoted to the tups.
Instead of one parent taking the twins to an area of activity that was more age appropriate, they were forced to participate in activites that focused on that of the tups. In addition, Kate in her usual way esclated the tension and choas with her inability to look beyond her PERSONAL opinion of what constitutes 'good' vs' 'bad' children's activities, 'this sort of thing is not for me ', 'my idea of fun is not rolling around in markers and blue glue'. Then there was Cara melting down wishing the tups werent there, said she would be happy if Jon would just take her to the bathroom, and Mady getting reprimanded because she could not find a space to do her activity and told 'this is no different than any other family who has younger brothers and sisters'. The entire day could have progressed so much easier without the massive drama if, at some point, J & K would have communicated a game plan. Jon take the tups to an age appropriate activity and Kate take the twins, or vice versa. Once again, this was an event in which Kate saw an opportunity to parade her tups in public under the guise of 'making memories'. I really felt bad for the twins in this episode as it was obvious that they desperately wanted to participate but just couldnt find a place among mommy ,daddy and the tups where they fit in.

Ann said...

I have never posted on here but as I was setting my DVR to record "Say Yes to the Dress" tonight on TLC...this is what the episode description says: "It's Always Something" Kate Gosselin from Jon & Kate Plus 8 visits the salon in search of a dress for her vows renewal ceremony.

I told my husband, and he said, "she doesn't look bad enough on her own show? she has to go on someone elses show?"

hahahahaha

Anonymous said...

I don't think it's right to criticize Kate & Jon for bringing Mady & Cara along on family outings that seem more appropriate for the little kids. That's just life when you have kids of different age range.
I do agree that they seem to be on a Magical Mystery Tour sponsored by TLC and a whole myriad of theme parks, but it's not totally unreasonable for J&K to bring Cara & Mady along to "little kid" places.

--------------------------------

I agree. Unfortunately , Cara's and Mady's situation is totally different . I would bet money that they would be much happier doing "little kid" things if they didn't have to do it as part of their daily lives or part of this crazy show.

I have a 10 yo and a 3 yo, and when we do things as a family, thank goodness my older boy loves showing his little brother the ropes !!

Anonymous said...

About the twins:

I have an idential twin sister. We are called "mirror image twins." People stare at us, even point, stop and turn to look at us. We are now 65 years old!

When we were teens we sometimes did feel like a dog and pony show. HOWEVER we did not have a set of multiples younger than us to contend with.

People are friendly and curious, but we can still be surprised by how some folks behave when they look at us. I can only imagine how Cara and Maddy must feel by all the attention their family gets every where they go. There is no doubt in my mind that Maddy really hates what goes on in their lives. They have no privacy. Everyone every where knows all about them, their parents, their siblings, their very lives. I couldn't take it either!

Anonymous said...

I must admit, any attempts at psychoanalyzing Mady make my stomach clench, because I was a Mady. I also cringe every time Kate says Mady acts out because she needs more attention. She doesn’t need more attention, because she gets the negative variety in spades. She needs positive attention, and it is not Mady’s job to cultivate it. She is barely 8 years old! It is her parents’ job to love and appreciate her for what she is. Instead, only a small number of traits are considered “good” – and it seems Mady possesses none of them. Good girls are quiet, good girls like to play mommy, good girls are preoccupied with their appearance, and so on. No one would argue the folly of forcing an introverted child to perform in front of a large audience. In many ways, relegating an extroverted child to the shadows and refusing to recognize her is equally cruel. I am absolutely not suggesting that Mady should be allowed to run roughshod over her family, but it is clear that she needs a place where her natural vivacity can shine.

She also needs parents with a modicum of emotional maturity, and God knows she doesn’t have even that. Mady’s meltdowns are constantly cited as evidence that she is deeply flawed - impossible, unpredictable, bratty, stubborn… but her method for dealing with the stress of her parents’ decisions is to model the behavior of her mother in all its irrational glory. She’s easily disappointed and frustrated, but no one stops and asks her why. She is clearly capable of articulating her feelings when given the chance. Without that option, she follows her instincts and protests loudly and often. Bless that child’s finely tuned bullshit detector; in all honesty, I think it will be her salvation. I worry far more about Cara, who doesn’t seem to have an outlet for her feelings at all.

Anonymous said...

Anon 10/10/2008 4:03 PM:
Beautifully and eloquently put. I know some people that do not see it that way and I may have to past your post on to them so they can get a different perspective. It's not just a tv show, it's their reality.

I feel so bad for the twins.

Anonymous said...

Jon take the tups to an age appropriate activity and Kate take the twins, or vice versa.

Well, so how many times have we seen Kate take any of the children out for anything by herself...with the exception of the episode where Jon takes the boys out. She took the girls to the grocery. Andd the episod where she took all 5 to the pottery place.

I think she is afraid to go out by herself. She needs Jon to boss around.

BRIDAL SHOWER SUNDAY JULY 20, 2008 said...

In reference to the twins and the teacher's and professionals not getting involved...as a teacher I am wondering what type of school they are in that they are allowed to miss so many days of school. In our school district we attend 180/185 days. When a student is out more than 2 week cummatively without acceptable reason, they become in danger of retention, even if their grades are good.
I wonder if they even go to school or if they are being tutored at home like on the set. It is unbeleivable to me that any school system would allow them to miss as many days of school as they have.

Anonymous said...

BRIDAL SHOWER SUNDAY JULY 20, 2008 said...
.....I wonder if they even go to school or if they are being tutored at home like on the set. It is unbeleivable to me that any school system would allow them to miss as many days of school as they have.
_____________
We have no way of knowing if the twins really are in school or not. I agree with you - it is quite shocking that they would be able to miss that many days. This makes me think KON has gotten around the educational system as well. KON is stupid and UNeducated, but they would make it a point to figure out how they could pull something slimy for their own personal gain - and if this means screwing with the twins education, then so be it.

iluveeyore said...

I don't think the twins have been out of school continuously for anything like two weeks. The long trips (Outer Banks, Hawaii) occurred during the summer.

I also suspect that the twins are very well-behaved at school. There are no cameras in their faces and they don't have the tups competing for attention. They also have "meaningful" assignments -- not activities to make good shows. This may be why TPTB at school have not intervened. There hasn't been any reason to.

At one point Kate said that a teacher had told them that Mady needs after-school activities... so they sent them to cooking class! I am also sure that I once saw Brownie uniforms in the laundry room.

The only drawback at school is the other kids commenting about the show. I don't think that Jon and Kate really think that matters...

Anonymous said...

"I think she is afraid to go out by herself. She needs Jon to boss around."

I've heard Kate say that she does not drive far from home. I suspect she does not drive on the highway.

chick said...

Mady is a terrific kid cursed with slow, unimaginative, and uneducated parents. I have known several girls like Mady who are on their way to being marvelous women. I have seen Mady act lovingly toward her siblings only to be told to stop, not touch, not intervene, etc. Way to make her resentful JK!

What is different about Mady? We see her model the idiotic behavior of her mother, rather than modeling herself after someone like Beth, Jodi, whoever. We see her get mainly negative attention, rather than gentle effective correction and firm discipline. We hear all about how difficult she is, and not about how she is determined, resourceful, intelligent, etc.

I think it boils down to the fact that Mady is smarter than either of her parents and she knows she's being used. I'd be angry too, in her shoes.

Anonymous said...

While I do think Mady needs help from her parents and possibly professionals, I kinda feel like Jon and Kate try to be positive with her but they just don't know what to do. Let's face it, she's a difficult child. It doesn't necessarily mean she's being neglected. I think overly indulging her might make things worse. But I'm not a child psychologist. I'd be interested to hear a professional's opinion.

Anonymous said...

Of course the twins will have to do some things age inappropriate because of the tups, most older siblings do. But things should be balanced out. Things never are. When do the twins get their turn? The twins should get more than an extra cupcake or half of a bagel.

My sister has 3 sons, 13, 10, and 6. Yes, the 13 and 10 year olds do stuff that's really for the 6 year old. But there's also times where the 6 year old is told, sorry, no, that is only for the older kids. He's waited patiently while his brothers climbed the rock wall, just as they waited when he rode the pony. In the twins case, it's waiting during the pony ride, but never getting to climb the rock wall.

As for their behavior at school, I wonder if they are really well behaved. We've seen how they react to random strangers who show them a bit of attention. They eat it up. I'm thinking that's how they act at school too.

Anonymous said...

Mady loooooves positive attention like any other kid, she just doesn't get it from the two people that should be giving it to her. Everything the poor child does is wrong, or not good enough for the perfect jon and kate. As for Cara she tries soooo hard to be perfect so she doesn't get treated like Mady. I have a feeling when the little girls are older, Hannah and Leah will be just like Cara and Alexis will be just like Mady, and if you really pay attention, they pretty much, sadly, already are.
This show needs to be stopped, but of course, then all the free stuff would go away, and *gasp* Jon and Kate would actually have have to work.

Anonymous said...

About "dragging" M&C to Sesame Place and the like...they were 7 years old. Plenty young enough to go there and enjoy it. I am in my twenties and I would enjoy it. Much the same as Disneyland and Legoland.
Personally, I notice that 7 year old these days are way too grown up. Obsessed with Hannah Montana, High School Musical, Limited Too, Abercrombie and dressing like teens. When I was 7, I was playing with dolls and barbies and watching Little Mermaid.

Anonymous said...

Did you see the family photo in People magazine? The twins look miserable! I am glad People printed the picture, instead of photoshopping smiles onto their faces...maybe others will begin to see beyond Kate's "truthiness."

Anonymous said...

There is a difference between overly indulging Mady and giving Mady the kind of attention her personality needs. Hannah loves helping and doing “mommy” things, and she’s praised for it. Cara is athletic and meticulous, and she’s praised for it. Mady is vivacious and extroverted, and she’s “difficult.” Children do not become difficult out of thin air. She’s a very smart little girl, and she does have quite a mouth to go along with it – but both of those things should be STRENGTHS. I’m reminded of the Disney World episode, when everyone is tired and hungry and Mady announces “I’m going to count to about 100, and then we’d better be getting a snack.” Well… She was right! They were tired and hungry and needed a break! It would’ve taken 2 seconds to let her know a snack was in the works, but nobody bothered. Cue the rolleyed eyes, the “ugh, Mady and her issues,” the baloney about low blood sugar. Chick is exactly right – this kid is smarter than her parents, and it pisses her off.

Anonymous said...

What I think is so ironic is how often real stars/celebrities go to great lengths to keep their children out of the public eye. Not only to give them a chance at a semi-normal childhood, but for their emotional and physical protection. I can't begin to imagine being Mady, with an 8 year old's fragile understanding of life, knowing (and don't think she doesn't) that the internet is abuzz with pre-teen blogs calling her names, and adults doing armchair psychoanalysis on her. Fortunately for Cara she just naturally stays as far in the background as she can most of the time and doesn't call attention to herself that often. But all she has to do is show her hands on camera for a couple seconds and right away there are negative comments about her very long fingernails. The older these girls get the more aware they will become of what is being said about them, and we all know how cruel other kids can be. I can see the girls becoming more and more ostracized by most of their peers, except the ones who only want to be close to them on account of their celebrity. Not that Kate will have any problem with that, as she obviously considers people around her as there merely to serve her needs, and be dismissed when they no longer do.

Anonymous said...

So what does everyone think will happen when the Gosselins move to their mega-mansion in North Carolina? I predict the kids will all be homeschooled. Kate and Jon will say something about it being less disruptive to their lives or some such nonsense. I think this family, even though they are everywhere every week, will actually become more and more isolated. The kids will never experience normal interaction with other children their own age. The show will always come first and what is best for the show will take priority over what is best for the children. It already has.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

So what does everyone think will happen when the Gosselins move to their mega-mansion in North Carolina?


You know, that could really be their undoing. Whatever kind of baloney they cook up for Kate to spin it, it's going to be very hard for them not to drive a lot of sheeple away from the flock. The entire middle class in America is in deep do-do from the economy. They will see the Gosselins move up from their middle-class status to a multi-million-dollar mansion. Will they still flock to their local churches to hear Kate's sob story and dig into their pockets? Will businesses continue giving freebies to them when they are obviously affluent?

My best guess is that Figure-8 is building the mansion for the show, not for the Gosselins, and retaining title it. Kate doesn't have the kind of negotiating power that people sometimes think she does. Remember, TLC has several other, newer reality shows featuring big families, and the chances of Figure-8 shopping Jon&Kate Plus 8 to another network is slim, because it's cheaper for a network to create a new show with unknown "stars" than to buy one complete with a self-obsessed diva.

Anonymous said...

IMO, ( and this is just my opinion), much of the behaviors and actions we see in Mady is simply because she is not, cannot, and does not spend enough quality time and interaction with her same age peers and just be a 7 year old kid. She has lived the past four years of her life according to the terms and conditions set forth by a reality tv show !! Industrial lighting, camera and production crew, magazine photo shoots, talk show appearances, traveling across the country so mom and dad can fulfill their narcisisstic dream of fame and fortune. Enjoying just being a kid doesnt seem to fit in to the agenda for Mady.

Anonymous said...

It is unbeleivable to me that any school system would allow them to miss as many days of school as they have.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How do we know how many days of school they have missed? Most of their trips are daytrips that take place over the weekend, and as someone else pointed out, the longer trips took place over summer vacation.

I imagine if the school authorities are not acting on problems with the twins, that it's because there are no problems with the twins to act on (at school). Nor, if there were problems with the twins at school, should we have the right to hear about it (particularly as we're trying to protect the kids from having their private lives spewed all over the internet).

Anonymous said...

I don't think the show is the problem as much as, as one poster was getting at, unresolved issues with the little kids. I think, through nobody's fault, the sextuplets tend to overshadow them. I mean, peole take notice with six kids. It's just how it is and I don't think people do it to be melicious, they just are wowed by the fact of six babies.

Anonymous said...

The only thing I can't agree with is that "they get dragged to places not suited to their age. The twins are not very old. Mady can be very precocious and act like a mini adult, but IMO it's because she never got any real mothering. Kids left to their own devices and not treated as a child will grow up before their time. Most of the time kids this age do enjoy amusement parks, even Sesame Place (we've been there with kids older than that), the railroad, factory trips, etc. And if they don't always love them, many kids do have to go along with younger siblings. And in turn, younger siblings go to places boring to them like the mall,other non-kid oriented places. I don't fault KON for having the twins go on family trips because reality show or not, it happens in families. I fault them for just about everything else they do though.

Anonymous said...

I am 6.5 years older than my brother and remember being an adolescent and going with my family to Sesame Place (yes, the same Sesame Place where J&K+kids went earlier this summer).

And I had a blast.

I thoroughly enjoyed taking my little brother through the ball pit, obstacle course, water rides, and seeing his excitement when he met the characters.

I don't think it's right to criticize Kate & Jon for bringing Mady & Cara along on family outings that seem more appropriate for the little kids. That's just life when you have kids of different age range."

I agree with this. I have a blast there as an adult. I love doing lots of "kid" things. My older daughter has fun with her younger siblings doing things too. My first 3 kids have a 7 year age gap between them and the 4th has a 4 year gap between the 3rd. It's still possible to all go out as a family and have fun. You see, most kids are not as whiny and selfish at Mady and to some extent Cara. They would not be happy anywhere. It's not their fault. Their parents have really done a number on them. However, the average child is not unhappy every single time they go out somewhere. Nor do they continue to hit their siblings on the head..

Rosey in Washington said...

"I think overly indulging her might make things worse. But I'm not a child psychologist. I'd be interested to hear a professional's opinion."

--------------------

I am not a Child Psychologist YET but I am in my Jumior year of college and I am majoring in psychology with an emphasis on Clinical Child Psychology.
I would like to also add that to even have a child counsoling practice you have to have AT LEAST a masters degree, if not a doctorate, so I do not know EVERYTHING, but I would say that I am pretty knowledgeable when it comes to child psychology. I am only 24 but I have been involved with children (other than family) for 9 years.

The thing that I don't understand about Jon and Kate is that they simply are NOT listening, or even giving their very bright daughter Mady a chance to voice her opinion in a calm and controlled environment WITHOUT CAMERAS. The only time I have ever seen her voice her opinion is when she she is at the point of such frustration that she explodes and everything she is thinking comes out.

Children look for acceptance from their parents, probably more than any adult can really understand. From the age of 12 or younger, and sometimes even children older, a childs parents are their rock, their world, their protectors, they basically think that their parents make the sun rise in the morning and set in the evening. Acceptance from a parent is so imperitive to a childs healthy mental and emotional development. If a child does not feel accepted, they try as hard as they can to become different, not their true self, in order to gain that acceptance.

I dont think Jon and Kate realize that EVERY SINGLE THING that they are doing is FORMING who all of their children will become. When a child is born they are essencially a blank slate, and in their children their parents write on that blank slate with their actions, words, and behavior and form their children. I know their is a big debate about nature vs. nurture and which one is more powerful, but in my educated opinion nurture is HIGHLY more powerful on forming a childs personality than nature.

I just hope that Mady, and the rest of the children also, somehow rise above everything that is happening right now and somehow come into their adulthood as productive and happy individuals. Im not trying to be a "debby downer" by any means when I say this, but honestly I really don't have much hope for their future from everything I have learned.

dotsicle said...

"...Fortunately for Cara she just naturally stays as far in the background as she can most of the time and doesn't call attention to herself that often. But all she has to do is show her hands on camera for a couple seconds and right away there are negative comments about her very long fingernails...."

Yes. Nails like that are totally inappropriate for a child that age, but her MOTHER allows it. Evidently her mother also allowed Cara to stop piano lessons and keep her talons. But, but, we see Mady taking her violin to school and now we see MADY, not Cara, playing the piano in a recent episode! Someone must be encouraging Mady's musical ability and that's a VERY good thing.

Anonymous said...

I agree with everybody who says Mady and Cara should have to do things that the little ones want to do, but how many times have we seen the opposite? Not counting their special days. Once maybe, when the girls did their photoshoot. They really should do more individual stuff, and more stuff with just the twins. However, if they're going to do stuff with just Mady and Cara, then keep it just Mady and Cara, don't bring along any of the little ones like they did for their photoshoot. Jon wasn't even paying attention to the twins that day, he was to focused on watching Hannah and Leah.

Anonymous said...

dotsicle said...

Yes. Nails like that are totally inappropriate for a child that age, but her MOTHER allows it. Evidently her mother also allowed Cara to stop piano lessons and keep her talons. But, but, we see Mady taking her violin to school and now we see MADY, not Cara, playing the piano in a recent episode! Someone must be encouraging Mady's musical ability and that's a VERY good thing.


Or, more likely, it's just fortuitous, in that Mady is interested in music and she's assertive about pursuing it. Letting a little girl play dress-up at home for an afternoon with a set of Lee Press-Ons is healthy. Letting her keep her own nails super-long and pointy like that is just plain lack of parental responsibility. It doesn't make sense that the same "someone" would encourage one 8 year old's positive interests yet at the same time not discourage another 8 year old's inappropriate ones. I mean, I'm not saying Kate should hold Cara down kicking and screaming and chop her nails down to the quick. Take the sweet little child with you to the spa for a mother-daughter day and let a professional manicurist make her nails look fabulous, and just a little bit long, appropriate for her age. Would that be so hard?

yubicc said...

What is it exactly that people at school have been saying about them? This was mentioned in the OP. Have Kon talked about this?

Anonymous said...

Why are Cara's nails so long? I'm all about being girly but how does an eight year make it or just be a kid with talons....it just looks odd and not practical.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

Why are Cara's nails so long? I'm all about being girly


I'm not convinced it has anything to do with fashion, beauty, or girly-ness. Cara doesn't dress, wear her hair, wear jewelry/rings or act or look in any way more girly than Mady. It might be Cara's way of seeking attention. Mady is outgoing and verbal and gets noticed by what she says. Although Cara hangs back and says little, her nails seem to draw almost as much comment as Mady's outbursts. I've seen grown women with nails that are several inches long and all curly and twisty, definitely not a beauty/fashion thing, it's strictly that they enjoy the attention and curiosity, both negative and positive. So I think the people who dismiss Cara's over-the-top (for her age) long nails as a girly thing are missing the deeper significance.

Anonymous said...

The twins attend a private school and a very well respected one at that. They are being treated like all the other children and are out of the shadows of the cameras there. There is a no camera policy. My children are in the same school and it is a school that would not tolerate teasing from other children. This is probably as normal as they can get during the week.

Anonymous said...

My children are in the same school and it is a school that would not tolerate teasing from other children.

So you're saying Kate lied in the interview when she said the twins get teased in school.

Anonymous said...

Cara and Mady go to a private school where the administration has much more latitude about attendance (as long as the students are doing well in school.) I suspect school may be a haven of normality for the girls and they probably behave quite well there. As a private school the classes are smaller and the students get much more individual attention.