"My heart took the pictures..."


I don't know if this is correct or not. I'm sending this to you because I've read here that one or more of the Gosselins read your very informative blog. If you think it will be of any benefit and follows your criteria, please post where appropriate.

I am a 58-year-old grandmother. Our precious baby rushed into the arms of God on February 10th, 2008. She was 24 yeas old. Candace left us with her two beautiful daughters, a 3-year-old and her baby that turned one nine days after she became an angel.

The Gosselins explained (paraphrasing) that they were doing the show to document their children's lives. My point, we were the parents that more often than not forgot a camera. Candace was more important than the pictures, although we do have many snapshots. Many, because of family and friends that happened to be there for whatever event she was in that day.

I remember once, Candace questioning me with an attitude of disdain, why was the camera left behind? I felt awful,thinking "How could I forget again?". Later that evening I followed up on her question. My response was, "my heart took the pictures and I'll hold them inside forever". Those pictures mean more to me than anything taken with a camera.

Be very very careful, material things mean nothing without the people. I was a good Mom, however every harsh word or action I regret more than I can begin to put into words. I could list all the inappropriate behaviors I see for 22 minutes an episode. Gosselins, you know what they are and yours to correct.

Submitted for publication via email from Carol Sue.


Anonymous said...

Wow Everyone has said or done something harsh they wish they hadn't. As long as we learn from our mistakes and correct them. I hope you aren't too hard on yourself.

carrie said...

Every time I read a "fan" of the show dismiss this as a hate-blog I think that they are truly missing the point. These posts are priceless and really do get to the heart of what we are trying to do.
Thank you.

aly,benji n siennas mom said...

My heart goes out to you burying a child is something a parent should never have to do. Great point and I hope it does gets seen and not dismissed. Even though I love recording and taking a lot of pictures some of the most precious memories of my three buggers are in my mind and heart.

Cal said...

God bless you.

Anonymous said...

"my heart took the pictures and I'll hold them inside forever"

What a beautiful concept.

I'm so sorry for your loss. May the sweet memories of your daughter, and the joy of your grandchildren, offer you comfort.

AireZoe said...

So touching and so true. I am truly sorry for your loss.
If nothing else, J&K are teaching by example how not to parent. I know that they make me look at myself a lot differently - and my daughter is 21. Imagine those poor little kids ...

Anonymous said...

Carol Sue, Thank you for this. I have never buried a child, but I have buried other people very close to me. I totally understand in a very profound way what you mean by "my heart took the pictures and I'll hold them inside forever." These are my sentiments exactly. People may leave us but they are still very much alive in our hearts and in our minds. Thank you so much for sharing your story.

Annelise said...

"my heart took the pictures and I'll hold them inside forever"

What a beautiful and precious expression of your love for your daughter. I'm sure those words meant a lot to her. I may use them myself someday.

Your daughter was lucky to have you as a Mom, don't beat yourself up for having human moments.

My heartfelt sympathies to you and your family {{{HUGS}}}

Anonymous said...

Carol Sue, I am so sorry for your loss...the pictures you have in your heart are so much more valuable than any you could have taken with a camera...

Sera said...

Carol Sue, thank you for sharing your story. I have tears in my eyes as I type this. My heart goes out to you and your family. Everything you said is so true and more. Bless.

Confan said...

Carol Sue,

There are just no words. May the pictures in your heart fill you with warmth.

bri said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Your grandchildren are lucky to have such a caring grandmother to be there for them, just as lucky as you are to have them to carry on your daughter's love and happiness, she will never truly be gone because they are here.

Munchkn said...

{{{{Carol Sue}}}}

A photograph may fade with time, but the pictures you took with your heart never will.

-mom to Katherine 9/8/87-8/9/88

green said...

I am very sorry for your loss. I agree with what others have said. Sometimes the best "pictures" are the ones you carry around inside of you.

Serena said...

Nominate for quote of the week please!

"my heart took the pictures and I'll hold them inside forever"

Thanks, I'll add it to next week's list; the current list is now closed and voting will begin tomorrow.

Carrie Ann said...

Carol Sue- Thanks for sharing your story. My mother died when I was 18 months old and my mother's parents didn't stay involved in my life. (Thankfully, I was giving a wonderful step mom who has been so wonderful and her parents loved me as their own) Remember to share those memories with your grandkids because they will treasure them forever. I know I cling to the very few stories and memories that people have shared with me.

LFWH said...

Carrie Ann,

My deepest sympathies to you and your family. Your quote was very touching. I wish only the best for you and always remember that one should not base their relationship on the harsh words or troubled times but on the relationship as a whole. It sounds like you and your daughter had a lot of love between you and that is what is most important.

laurie said...

{{Carol Sue}}

You have said so much. Thank you. Not only have you inspired me to take more photographs with my heart, but also to remember to keep a camera in my purse. I too am one of those moms who rarely brings her video and camera.

I am sure your sweet baby is smiling down on you now and thanking the Lord that she has you to care for those she left behind.

warm hugs,

Carrie Ann said...

Carol Sue was the one who lost her daughter. I lost my mother.

Carol Sue said...

Thank You, more than I can express are your words of kindness valued and appreciated.

One thing I'd like to add. My explanation(my heart took the pictures) to Candace stayed with her until she drifted away while sleeping. Often while we were just sitting watching enjoying her babies. Doing all the cute things babies do. Candace would pat her chest over her heart looking at me. Meaning her heart took the pictures.

To all who read this know that something said in twenty seconds to a seven year old may last a lifetime.

Carol Sue

CarolSue said...


Katherine's mama, May your sweet baby rest in the arms of God until you hold her in yours once again.

Carol Sue
Candace's Mama-9/22/83-2/10/08