Love is a Behavior, Not a Feeling

I have read many comments defending Jon and Kate with the sentiment that "no matter what, they love their kids". I beg to differ. Many of the decisions being made by Jon and Kate are clearly not the decisions of loving parents.

Love is a loaded word in the English language, full of shades and nuances. We use it to refer to everything from the immature warm, fuzzy feelings of affection to an actual commitment borne out by a behavior.

All love begins as a feeling, an amalgamation of pleasurable emotions. Often those feelings never evolve beyond the simple, uncomplicated affection we hold for casual friends and other acquaintances. The love we hold for close friends, parents, siblings, spouses, and other relatives is usually stronger, but more complex and makes us more vulnerable.

The love we hold for our children, however, is incomparable to any other. The child begins life as an infant, and through growth and maturation -- a challenging struggle -- becomes a fully-realized person. The same goes for the love a parent has for a child. It usually begins as a powerful, sweeping, all-encompassing emotion before settling down into a sublime warmth deep in the heart. And while the word "love" is used to refer to those powerful feelings, there is deeper meaning of "love" that goes light years beyond mere human emotion.

The mature, fully-realized picture of parental love requires work and sacrifice. It is a decision and a commitment. A decision to act in the best interest of the child, and a commitment to continue making those decisions even when it becomes very difficult to do so. So when you say, "Jon and Kate love their children.", you could be referring to squishy feelings for their children, but it is doubtful that you are referring to an ongoing commitment to make decisions in the best interests of those children.

The way I see it, the love that Jon and Kate may feel for their children has not yet grown into mature parental love. Mature parental love would never encourage and participate in long-term exploitation. Mature parental love would never publicly mock and ridicule because it makes good TV. Mature parental love would not repeatedly succumb to greed and selfishness at the expense of children's needs -- it would not sell out a child's privacy and dignity for money and material perks or fleeting fame.

Mature parental love is a behavior, not a feeling. An ongoing, selfless commitment demonstrated by specific behaviors -- far more mature (and more difficult) than just enjoying a warm fuzzy feeling. And considering that narcissistics are pathologically incapable of mature parental love, I don't see Kate growing in this area any time in the near future.

49 comments:

Annelise said...

Wow! What an excellent post, you moved me to tears.

If nothing else, J&K have made me examine my own parenting style and I have made some changes for the better.

Thanks for your post :-)

Anonymous said...

Good Post. Another way of thinking about it is Love the Noun versus Love the Verb. They have the feeling of Love for their children. But they don't practice the action of Love toward their children. It's easy to have a feeling. It's much harder to take action.

Anonymous said...

Mature parental love is a behavior, not a feeling.

Thank you for articulating exactly what is NOT happening at the Gosselin household.

I have no question that if asked, Kate and Jon would be astonished that anyone questioned their love for their children. If nothing else, they would parrot the appropriate response. BUT it's how you behave that is the key.

Actions speak louder than words.

Serena said...

Another way of thinking about it is Love the Noun versus Love the Verb. They have the feeling of Love for their children. But they don't practice the action of Love toward their children. It's easy to have a feeling. It's much harder to take action.

Yep. One is passive, the other active.

Anonymous said...

Interesting perspective. Who wrote this article?

Anonymous said...

I don't want to be one who spectulates on the Gosselins religious faith. But the idea of Christain love for others, of unselfish love for your fellow man, is tied up tightly in action rather than feeling. "Love thy neighbor" doesn't mean to sit at home and feel warm and fuzzy about your fellow man. It means to go to a homeless shelter and serve meals, reach in your pocket and give the guy on the corner some change, donate your gently used goods to those who need them, to bring a casserole to your sick neighbor. Action.

Powell said...

Thank you for this. You put into words something that I have tried to explain many times but have not been able to get across to other people.

My son has always been a bright & handsome boy, in my opinion. And when I lived in NY I was stopped several times by agents who asked me if I would consider having them represent him for ads & commercials. They were legitimate and I turned them down. When he was 2, he performed in a school Holiday pageant and one of the parents was an agent from Ford - again I was asked if I would consider bringing him in and having them represent him and see what happened. I once again turned this down. Several other mothers were shocked - "you could have him earn his college tuition", "it would probably be fun for him"...these were the comments that I received.

What I couldn't explain was that I wanted my child to be a child. I did not want him to a product of being told that his looks and his, for want of a better term, bright personality, were all that he was made up of. I felt that getting involved in something like this, even for a short time, would be harmful to him. This is how it starts, and how difficult is it to turn it off? To let it go? To walk away?

I read and hear the parents of child "stars" who always say "I let my child decide and once they don't want to do it anymore he/she will stop". But is this really true? Can a child make that decision? And where does the parent stop and the child begin? How does a child know that enough is enough? At what point does a child feel that THEY are now responsible for the financial stability of their family? I feel strongly that if you were to ask the Gosselin twins if they would be unhappy if the filming stopped and they were left to live a calmer life, they would say that this was what they wanted. It comes across very strongly in the show. For the 'tups - they have never known any other way of life, something that I find both sad and truly frightening. But I know that no child in this family is ever going to be asked that question. they will be told what it is that they want and what it is that the family needs for them to do.

So, even when I worry about how I am going to pay that college tuition, afford that vacation or field trip, and meet next month's school bill, I am still glad that I made the decision that I did for my child. This doesn't make me a better parent than Jon or Kate, just one who recognized that I had to BE the parent and make a decision that would have a long term benefit to my child rather than a short term benefit. And I look at my child now and see what I believe to be a happy, well-adjusted child who is a child. Not a player in a strange "reality" world of television or commercials who is living his childhood in front of millions of other people who may not know what is truly reality or what is make believe.

Serena said...

Interesting perspective. Who wrote this article?

Some blog entries have a by-line at the bottom such as Submitted for publication by... or Reprinted with permission from.... Blog entries with no by-line were written by the person who posted it.

This doesn't make me a better parent than Jon or Kate, just one who recognized that I had to BE the parent and make a decision that would have a long term benefit to my child rather than a short term benefit.

I don't know why you would say that... parents who demonstrate mature parental love generally are, indeed, better parents than those who do not put in the hard word and sacrifice it takes to do that.

Anonymous said...

I too have many issues with the Gosselin's parenting style and some of the choices they have made. That is after all why I found this little corner of the web.

That said I want to say something that may not be popular with some, at least I think. You very eloquently state your thoughts on this, more so than many others who simply can't explain why they have issues with this show or the people on it. But I don't know that I would go as far as to say they don't love their children or that there is a right or wrong way to love or be a parent or do things. I take your words with caution, realizing that it is your opinion based on your experiences and the context that you live in. But it almost sounds as if its to say that true mature parental love wouldn't make mistakes or wouldn't always make the right choices.

I think for me, from my experience and the life that I've lived, love comes from growth. From making mistakes and realizing their effect and then wanting to be better. And seeing the great things and wanting to make those even better. For the good of someone. A selfless thing. And I guess by my definition, I can't say that I see much of that in the Gosselin parents. So in the end, although I may not agree with the way you worded it we do meet in the middle in that something about the way these people make their choices doesn't necessarily give us the feeling that it comes from a true, deep, nurturing place.

Powell said...

I still try to give them the benefit of the doubt in their parenting - even though I disagree with most of what they do, that is why I would say it that way.

I do believe that there is a total lack of maturity in them both in so many areas - not just their parenting skills. The sitaution with their families reinforces that to me over and over.

I have often wondered if Kate felt that having children made her "mature" and "grown-up" and that is why she rushed into having them so soon after she was married. I waited a very long time because I felt that I was not mature enough. And still feel that way on some days!

Serena said...

But I don't know that I would go as far as to say they don't love their children

I did not say that Jon and Kate don't love their children. My point was that Jon and Kate behave in ways that do not demonstrate a mature parental love. Do they have warm fuzzy feelings for their children? Probably. Emotions come to people, they aren't worth much in and of themselves.

or that there is a right or wrong way to love or be a parent or do things.

Oh I have no problem saying that exploiting one's children is a wrong way to parent.

iluveeyore said...

The Outer Banks in July, Hawaii in August. Those kids are being dragged all over the place and despite the beauty of those places, I somehow doubt that those kids are impressed.

I'll bet the kids would love to stay home for a while. I'll bet that Jon and Kate are enjoying themselves completely.

Anonymous said...

Maui - I can't believe your dad said that the kids were walking without holding hands!!! That's incredibly irresponsible - even for Jon and Kate. Going through the airport with one child is anxiety laced, let alone 8. Thanks for the post.

Anonymous said...

"I'll bet that Jon and Kate are enjoying themselves completely."

I doubt it. Remember how she says it takes her a week to pack? I just don't understand how that's possible.

And I agree with above poster though. I will give them the benefit of the doubt on "love" and "parenting". I realize there's a LOT we don't see.

K.C. said...

Speaking of love and maturity...PLEASE watch this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjvvnkLwAmA&NR=1

I had never seen some of this footage before. It is of Kate and Jon in their 20's. This is unlike anything I have ever seen. Kate really needs help.

There are several of these 'Gosselins Webisode' videos by littlestballerina, (with deleted scenes), on youtube. I wonder where/how littlestballerina acquires this footage?

Anonymous said...

Serena said: Many of the decisions being made by Jon and Kate are clearly not the decisions of loving parents.
___

Serena, thank you for this thoughtful and insightful entry. After some of the comments that were posted several hours ago ("J&K do not love their kids") and the emotional responses to them, this was clearly needed. Your entry clarified what many of us were attempting to articulate when we said we did not think J&K loved their kids.

Anonymous said...

I get my cable through Verizon and there is an "on demand" section. TLC is one of the channels that has on demand episodes and J&K is one of the shows you can watch (for free). In addition to a rotating number of episodes, there are some deleted scenes and extras.

Anonymous said...

I doubt it. Remember how she says it takes her a week to pack? I just don't understand how that's possible.


Remember in Kate's vocab a week probably equals 2 days, unless of course she has to wait on laundry from her staff.

Anonymous said...

Just a FYI about the Maui airport. VERY SMALL and so not busy with traffic, at least every time I've been there that's what it was like.

nomoredrama said...

Ok, so, I feel uncomfortable with this post for a few reasons. It seems to me that it is grounded in the assumption that someone can actually say definitively that Jon and Kate are deliberately and maliciously exploiting the kids. The only thing we have evidence of is the fact that they truly believe (because they state it all the time) that their children have fun on the trips, like being in front of the cameras, etc. If their point of view is different and the children are having (perceived) positive experiences from all of this then how can we say the children have lost dignity, or have been "pimped out."

I mean, to me, its like wearing leather or fur. Animal rights activists are disgusted by this, feel that the person wearing, believe it is responsible for perpetuating the death and torture of animals and stand for everything that is bad in this country. While the person wearing the jacket thinks "well, the animal is dead, I didn't slaughter the animal, might as well have a nice leather coat"

Who is right? Honestly, its a matter of opinion. What is occurring in this family certainly does meet the legal definition of abuse (emotional/physical) or neglect. I can say that with authority. While you argue exploitation, others will argue for ingenuity and creativity. Both sides have strong opinions, so who is right?

Please don't think that I'm arguing that their parenting is perfect. I could make a few diagnoses for Kate (but I'm not HER therapist so I wont publish my opinion). I can say , though that a parent's insecurities and need for perfection will play out in how they relate to their child. Making fun of Joel, the harsh verbal attacks of the others...in my opinion, that is what is most damaging and that will likely occur (again, in my opinion) whether there is a TLC show or not.

Anonymous said...

Wow, that video and couch chat is vintage Kate. Boo hoo had to pay for their own wedding. So do lots of people Kate or they are smart and save the money for a home and do it with the JP. And lets go shopping. Kate loves to have money and stuff.
Barf. It seems she didn't date much if at all though I guess Jon enjoyed playing the field. Hmmm.

Serena said...

It seems to me that it is grounded in the assumption that someone can actually say definitively that Jon and Kate are deliberately and maliciously exploiting the kids.

No, this is not an assumption.

One of the few definitive things about Jon and Kate is that they are exploiting their children -- a fact which is documented on film for posterity and broadcast around the world every week. It is hardly a matter of opinion.

It doesn't matter if the children are enjoying some of these scripted "field trips", or if they make friends with some of the crew. That is the nature of children -- they can't discriminate and that is why it is up to responsible adults to do so for them, for their protection.

To exploit a child is to use the child in work or other activities for the benefit (donations, money, fame) of others. To take advantage of a child for one’s own gain. To take advantage of the vulnerability of a child for the benefit of another.

Is it "deliberate"? Obviously. Is it "malicious"? In the end it doesn't really matter if Jon and Kate are doing it maliciously or with warm fuzzy feelings, as the end result will be the same.

The only debatable point in the exploitation of the Gosselin children is whether or not they are receiving any earnings themselves, and if so, whether those earnings are being held in trust for them as the law would ensure if they were protected under Coogan or a similar law. Since Kate went ballistic at the thought of her own sister-in-law receiving legitimate compensation, I personally would highly doubt that the children are receiving any paychecks.

sistah2 said...

Well said Serena. No matter what anyone thinks about this family, its a known FACT the kids are being exploited for a reality TV show for the PARENTS financial gain, with no end in sight. No way in getting around that. Also, do not forget the constant travel to churches to plead poverty and ask for love offerings because they "were blessed" with 8 kids. Yeah, they sure were blessed.
Requesting money in the name of the kids in churches may be the worst of all this mess.

Anonymous said...

I just watched the youtube video of their wedding etc. I've seen it before .... just wanted to see it again .. and um, I don't know ... is it me? I didn't see anything "weird" or that kate needed "help" in any way. It was cute. They were young and on their honeymoon. I was the same way ---- many many moons ago. Why do people think this video is over the top? Are we just so "Kate disgusted" that we're reading too much into every little thing? My self included ... I do it too, but you know what --- it looks bad for us when we pick apart too much...

Anonymous said...

You are so right about the people "loving" people and things.
A parent with a tender heart towards their child would NEVER humiliate them publicly...even in front of a handful of friends.
How ugly Kate looks in this past week's ad for the upcoming trip, as she mimics her daughter "I gotta pee!" How ugly!

Anonymous said...

That's a point. I also look for things now...seeing that I have become so soured over this phony baloney program.
However, when she was taking her vows, I got creeped out by the fact that she sounded like and her mannerisms were like Mary Kay Letourneau...I don't know why that reminded me of her, but it did. Then, later, when she was resting on the couch, saying that they had done 4 parks in 4 days, and she wanted to go shoppng some more...yikes...then she sounded like Anna Nicole Smith! I couldn't help the comparisons...it's in her voice I guess. Sorry...I know those aren't very nice comparisons. Just jumped out at me though. I know she is nothing like them.

Anonymous said...

No, Anonymous...Kate DOES say that she dated quite a bit. And in that couch interview, she says that she "liked the bad boys".
He had a girlfriend when they met; but she was gone very quickly. Kate had decided what was going to take place.

nomoredrama said...

To exploit a child is to use the child in work or other activities for the benefit (donations, money, fame) of others. To take advantage of a child for one’s own gain. To take advantage of the vulnerability of a child for the benefit of another.

While I can't argue (because Webster says so) that the definition of exploitation is to use another for financial (or whatever) gain, It is my opinion that the definition in our society is not as black and white as that.

To me, if you are against J & K's reality show, you should be against the Roloffs, Gene Simmons, Salt N P Peppa this list goes on and on. It also doesn't stop there, to me, making that argument suggests that any parent who allows their children to be in show business is exploiting their child. Miley Cyrus, Dakota Fanning, The Olson twins (even though they're all grown up). By that definition, all of these children are being exploited.

I do believe that some children in the industry are exploited (like Gary Coleman, Mac Culkin). That's because they're parents were stealing from them. Like you said, we have no idea where the money is going and if you look at the things they have in their home, they certainly don't seem any more affluent that another suburban family. Maybe that is part of the charade but really, the bottom line is we don't know.

That's why I struggle with the word exploitation....

nomoredrama said...

Why do people think this video is over the top? Are we just so "Kate disgusted" that we're reading too much into every little thing? My self included ... I do it too, but you know what --- it looks bad for us when we pick apart too much...

I totally agree. I think I get defensive of J & K even though Kate is not my favorite person in the world because it seems like they can do nothing right. Damned if they do and damned if they don't.

Anonymous said...

You know...once you say something on film--it's there forever.
I was watching a recent clip of them explaining (a couple of years ago) who their helpers are.
They named the woman who also watched Jon when he was a child, Nana, different ones. Kate described Beth as an "angel sent from God" and said that she was her "bestest new friend". She also has commented on how sweet and wonderful Jodi is and how much help she has been.
How sad to see those clips now.

Anonymous said...

I feel like we're picking this apart too much. I feel just as uncomfortable with the show as the rest of you, but I think now the focus on every detail is just too much.

fvr4mvp said...

I don't watch Gene Simmons, The Roloffs, Salt N pepper, and I dont watch J&K anymore. I will not contribute to any of it. I don't support their sponsors either and I sent a letter to Figure 8 telling them so.

I don't have a problem with a family this large doing a once a year update. My own Grandmother had 16 children and I love to hear my Dad talk about how she could make a feast out of potatoes or how they would have chickens for fresh eggs in the morning and fried chicken every day if you wanted it. They grew their own vegetables and the kids would help harvest them.

I want to know what they do to survive. Do they clip coupons? How often do they go grocery shopping? What type of schedule did they have to establish when they brought them home. I certainly am not interested in their intimacy schedule and I do not care about them renewing their vows in Hawaii.

The problem is that this show is exploiting their children AND it isn't reality anymore because everything is provided by the network. My Grandmother certainly did not have a nanny, helpers, personal chefs, and everything else that goes with it. She did it with my Grandfather and no one else.

If you want to do something, don't watch or contribute to the sponsors and let Figure 8 know how you feel about it. I tune in here for updates and that's about it for me. Those kids have got to be given a break before its too late.

FIONA said...

It seems to me that it is grounded in the assumption that someone can actually say definitively that Jon and Kate are deliberately and maliciously exploiting the kids.
_____
I don't think it is grounded in assumption at all. We can see with our own eyes the industrial lights in their home, invasion of privacy, kids being filmed when they clearly do not want to be, hidden cameras in the little kids rooms....they are not being paid. They have to go and be filmed wherever the crew and parent's take them. If this isn't exploitive in nature, what would it take for it to become that way for you? I am honestly not trying to attack you.

And yes, all reality shows including LPBW are exploitive. Until they are regulated with clearly written guidelines all kids are at risk.

FIONA said...

If their point of view is different and the children are having (perceived) positive experiences from all of this then how can we say the children have lost dignity

_____
Of course jon and Kate's POV is different. And their idea of when a kid is having fun doesn't have any crediblity with me and many, many others. And without a doubt we have witnessed kids lose their dignity as their parent's sit either passively by or in fact add to it themselves.

Not all parents can be trusted to do right by their kids, we all know that. And it seems when $$$ and camera met, more bad comes from it than good. This is why reality TV needs its own laws and regulations.

K.C. said...

What stood out to me on the youtube webisode #30 was the clip of Kate on the plane, Kate and Jon opening gifts and the Disney segment. More specifically, Kate's fake giggle and the exaggerated, forced, childish voice she used. She is 'on' for the camera--'on' in a very extreme way. I got the distinct impression that Kate is more in love with her reflection in the camera's lens than she is with Jon when I watched the footage of them on their honeymoon. Who in their right mind would sit on a plane holding a camera up to their own face, tilt their head to the side, use an unnaturally high, fake, 'little girl' voice and say:

"I'm still alive."
"I like the clouds."
"I was scared."
"I'm dizzy."

This is not normal.

Notice Jon's reaction to Kate in the video of them at Christmas. She is bossing him around and he is bothered by it--his head is down, eyes cut, etc. She is exaggerating her reaction to the presents for the camera's sake. (IMO) Her behavior is impossible to miss.

This video just proves to me that he knew EXACTLY what he was getting into. The behavior we see now on the show is nothing new. He chose this life--willingly.

Someone has commented before on Kate twirling down Main Street at Disney saying "film me Jon!" and "let's buy more STUFF!". I'm sorry, but I know children who are more mature than this.

Yes, I do notice things more now than I did at first but the person on this video is nuts. Look in her eyes, listen to her voice and pay attention to the words she says. I watched it again after reading your comments just to make sure I wasn't being overly critical. I stand by my original opinion on this clip(s). Kate needs help. She was a sicko then and she is a sicko now.

A bit to far said...

Again, we only see a small portion of their lives. To me it is clear that they love their children and that their children love them. Personally, I think that they are trying to do the very best by their family. I know that not everyone agrees with that but to say that they don't have "mature love" for their children is going a bit to far.

Anonymous said...

I don't have any question or guilt about saying that I believe that Jon and Kate are exploiting their children.

I am sure that these two rationalize that they are able to give their children a lifestyle they otherwise would not have -- but here's where they stop. They refuse to consider what the real cost of that lifestyle will be. Not just the $$, but what else or more specifically, who else will suffer long-term problems from their decision.

And for those who question whether this show intrudes too much -- I want to ask: would Kate allow herself to be filmed while she went to the bathroom or was in the shower? If the answer is no - and I think it's safe to say that would be her response - then I think she owes it to her children to extend to them that same courtesy/privacy. Being under the age of five does not cancel that right. Have they arbitrarily decided that you earn privacy and modesty at seven but not before?

Anonymous said...

The "early" videos of the couple are what gave my boyfriend a shock. He was involved with someone really similar in college and after the first few days of dating she started using a "baby talk voice" that was eerily similar to Kate's. She acted normal for like the first week. Then she let the baby talk, singsong voice for everything, obsession with Disney and Hello Kitty, little girl pouts when she didnt get her way, complete with foot stomp take over and IMO all the babyish mannerisms were to cover for the fact that she was a total control freak and was always subtly ordering him around, albeit in a baby voice. It was almost like she was regressing into a second childhood, dragging him in tow. It was all part of a subconscious plan to bring his defenses down (making him look upon her as a child or "his" child)

He never liked that aspect but she showered him with so much attention and flattery, plus made it seem like she was vulnerable and needed protecting that he stayed in the relationship far longer than he should have and was able to get away only when she admitted to kissing another guy a month before their wedding. When he was out of the relationship he realized what a liar she was and what a sham the relationship was.

Surprise surprise she is married now with a baby and has uploaded videos of herself babytalking her new hubby in the exact same way, while ordering him around, in the most annoying singsong voice. Did I mention she is from PA and blonde? She might even be a relative of Kate, the similarities are CRAZY.

When my bf saw the early days show he said " I have officially lost all respect for them"

Whoever mentioned Mary Kay Leatourneu was right in my book. It reminded me of her too.

Anonymous said...

But I also think that some of the contributions, particularly the recaps, are way overloaded with criticisms that are nitpicking in the extreme. Making fun of Kate's accent ("It's ARE life"), her hair, her dislike of driving, etc. detract from the message this site should be sending, and as a result undermines its validity.
I buy magazines and newpapers and don't always read every section because some I don't find of interest and others I find to picky like some editorials. I think there is plenty offered on the blog here for all to enjoy. Many of us prefer not to rewatch or watch any further of the shows so we are reading these recaps to keep informed. I don't think it's nitpicking to point out that once more Kate is sitting with her thigh fully exposed on the couch during the confessional (though no one has done that of yet, it makes me wonder why she does those cheesecake type poses with the thigh almost totally bare at times. She's not exactly Marilyn Monroe.) Just an example of being "nitpicky" though. I'm fine with telling us the little things that we'd miss anyways if we did just watch while folding the towels. And I really appreciate the recaps.

Anonymous said...

When people say that Kate and Jon aren't exploiting their kids, gee, here is a blurb from one of the churches they are going to speak and and collect a love offering:
It gives hope to the hopeless, help to the helpless, and strength to weak. It makes strong people stronger and adds a dimension to the quality of life that cannot be realized through the external. Money cannot buy the happiness and peace that the inner working of the Holy Spirit brings. Real living is not about spending, doing, or even feeling, although real living empowers us to rightly spend our resources, to do the things that leave a powerful legacy, and to experience real and lasting peace through Jesus Christ.
Gee, do you think Kate and Jon, but especially Kate believe that about Money not buying happiness? Or the part about spending and doing. Forget all that she says pass the love offering. And it just again proves to me these churches haven't seen one minute of the Kate we have all seen all to much of.

lynn/anon1967 said...

Excellent Post!
I don't know if anyone saw the Anderson Cooper/Lohan comments on Regis and Kelly, but Cooper apparently was introduced to the world of the Lohan's, and wasn't impressed.
Here's a link to contact him, I thought he might be interested in watching some TLC, and asked him to give some tips on how we can make laws for reality shows equal to children actors.
http://www.cnn.com/feedback/forms/form5.html?10

Anonymous said...

"I got the distinct impression that Kate is more in love with her reflection in the camera's lens than she is with Jon when I watched the footage of them on their honeymoon.

Who in their right mind would sit on a plane holding a camera up to their own face, tilt their head to the side, use an unnaturally high, fake, 'little girl' voice and say:
"I'm still alive."
"I like the clouds."
"I was scared."
"I'm dizzy."
_____
A Clinical Narcissist, that's who!!!

Serena said...

It also doesn't stop there, to me, making that argument suggests that any parent who allows their children to be in show business is exploiting their child. Miley Cyrus, Dakota Fanning, The Olson twins (even though they're all grown up). By that definition, all of these children are being exploited.

Professional actors are in a different category:

1. They are playing a character, a fictional representation.

2. They are not living on a studio set, surrounded in their OWN HOME by studio lighting and filming equipment.

3. They are not being followed around constantly with cameras as they try to live their real life, with no privacy or dignity while puking, pooping, peeing, crying, melting down, being disciplined, standing in the nude getting hosed down in the bathtub, etc.

4. There are not hidden cameras in their bedroom.

5. They are not forced to work hours in obscene excess of regulations that protect professional minors.

6. We generally do not even know where they really live or much of anything about them except what we see them portraying as fiction.

Those facts ALONE make the Gosselin children exploited. If their earnings are also not being properly chanelled and protected, then that just magnifies the exploitation that is already going on.

Anonymous said...

I agree 100% with you.

The thing that really gets to me is that Kate has been asked if she had it all to do again would she. She said "no".

What kind of mother says that about her kids? That's not motherly love at all if you ask me.

Serena said...

I buy magazines and newpapers and don't always read every section because some I don't find of interest and others I find to picky like some editorials. I think there is plenty offered on the blog here for all to enjoy.

Exactly. We publish a wide variety of entries on this blog -- information on upcoming episodes, personal testimonies, essays, episode recaps, op eds, etc.

Readers generally pick and choose which types of entries they like to read and comment on; we are not under the impression that everyone likes everything about this blog. We may get two emails back-to-back, one praising the episode recaps and the next one despising them. With such a wide variety of readers, a wide variety of content is to be expected.

Anonymous said...

In response to:

"Real living is not about spending, doing, or even feeling, although real living empowers us to rightly spend our resources, to do the things that leave a powerful legacy, and to experience real and lasting peace through Jesus Christ."

IMO, this statement is a complete contradiction of what we see in the actions of J & K. It is obvious that the J & K persona that appears on their so called 'reality show' is in complete opposite to that of what they represent to their speaking engagement audiences. To me that spells, H.Y.P.O.C.R.I.T.E.! Not only do J & K exploit their children for self serving monetary gain, they do the same under the guise of their Christian faith!

Anonymous said...

Do you know what Kate would say to Jon in the chair if he said or mispronounced half the things she has? (It's ARE life!) She would verbal kill him in two seconds flat. I think the comments she has gotten are much nicer than the comments she directs toward her husband on national TV. She corrects him all the time and sometimes her "corrections" are not even right! Heck, that is a show in itself.

Jen said...

I just want to mention that my mom and I had a discussion about parents who truly do what is best for their kids. My youngest sister was one of those kids that could have been a kid actor or model. She was adorable and incredibly smart. My mom got comments along those lines all the time and she always sort of brushed them off. Fast forward 25 years later, and my sister is a successful scientist with a normal life. Who knows what would have happened to her life if my parents had made another decision.

I'm in a similar situation in that people say that my little boy should be a child model all the time. When I was talking to my mom about this, I said that if someone came up to me and offered me $2 million dollars to allow him to be a model or child actor, I'd say, "I'll take the $2 million, but you're not filming my kid for anything!".

I'd much rather live my normal middle-class life and know that I never put material possessions over my child's privacy, childhood and over all well-being. His life is his to live, not mine to sell.

Julie411 said...

Driving Miss Katie

Personal Assistant # 1 to crowd:

"We are bringing some VIPs through your neighborhood. Pretend not to know them. Do not make eye contact. Do not speak to them."


Personal assistant number 2 in back of jeep with kids, speaks into wrist to PA 1:

The kids are getting restless. Does she allow gum today?

PA1: Holy geeze! I forgot to ask! Stand by!

PA1 radios to producer: Does she allow gum today?

Producer to Miss Katie: Do you allow gum today?

Miss Katie looks off into the horizon but nods slightly.

Producer: We're OK on the gum.

PA1 to PA 2: Gum is a GO. Repeat, we have a GO on the gum.

PA 2 offers the kids some gum.

All breathe a sigh of relief. And it is quiet and peaceful.

Then, in the background we hear non-rhythmic breathing accompanied by a slight snort.

PA1 into wrist: Alert. Alert. We have a breather!

To be continued.