Things I've Learned from Kate Gosselin

Although I am still very young, in many ways I’ve come to learn a few things inadvertently from this show. I’ve been with my boyfriend for four years now and have noticed a lot of the same personality problems that Kate has in myself. The only difference between her and me is that I noticed them and am making a conscious effort to change myself. The following is a list of things that I have learned from Kate:

1) Have a bit of humility and be able to accept when you’re wrong. I admit, I’ve been known to twist the truth in my favor. I have been trying desperately to change this about myself. I really noted our similarities immediately after I started watching the show in March. I don’t think it’s healthy to feel that you are always right. No one wants to be around you. And, quite frankly, it’s not healthy to be perfect.

2) Family and closeness is very important. Kate has an apparent want for her children to grow up and have a close family and I commend her for that. I never got heart-shaped sandwiches on valentine’s day or movie nights and, although those are very sweet, they don’t compare to the everyday experience. I may have not gotten the world from my mother, but she did give me her world. She spent time with me and let me be myself. I was able to be a child and never felt uncomfortable or wrong expressing myself.

3) The size of your house doesn’t really matter. My father grew up in a family of 9 in a house smaller than the Gosselin’s. When I visit there I realize that although having more space would be nice, it’s not necessary.

4) A little kindness goes a long way. This isn’t really a lesson that I had to learn. I consider myself a friendly personality and I thrive on being around people. A wave and a grin is not very hard and it doesn’t make you seem cold.

5) You can’t control everything, although you sometimes might want to. Letting things around you happen as they will not only is a relief but it can be relaxing. I am a stickler about plans, but I have learned to let it slide and have found that my world does not come crashing down. No, it doesn’t always happen according to plan but that’s not always a bad thing.

6) The destination is not important, it’s the journey. A child’s work of art will never be perfect, their tasty treats might not be tasty -- but the effort and the love that they put into it is.

Because Kate's decisions might not be the best, she did help me to see what really did matter. Despite how interesting she is to watch and read about, I can’t help but be disheartened by her skewed priorities.

Submitted for publication by Whitney.


Anonymous said...

Kate has really inspired me too. How NOT to treat my husband, how not to treat my son, how not to put matieral things as priority. Aunt Jodi, on the other hand, has inspired me how to be a better mom.

Anonymous said...

I may have not gotten the world from my mother but she did give me her world

I love how you worded that. I hope you've told your mom that too.

Yeah, it's me said...

I think even if we don't have some of Kate's character traits, we can see that there is room for improvement in all of our lives just by watching this family. Not just Kate.

I have seen quite a few of the Kate traits in myself. I too can be a stickler for cleanliness, but by watching Kate I've realized that it's not the worst thing in the world to have a raisin or two on the floor or a stove that needs to be wiped down after a meal. Those things can wait if I'm listening to my kids tell me what happened at football practice or over at their friend's house. I've also noticed I can take my hubby's love and support for granted. Thanks Kate! You're doing something right, even if I'm sure there are quite a few people who would argue that point!

On a funnier note, I laugh just thinking about the dresser knob and one of the boy tups dancing after Kate yells at them and leaves the room. I giggle to myself when I think about my kids; I'm sure they've done the hokey pokey behind my back a few times.

Good for you, Whitney, for getting something positive out of the show!

AmandaT said...

I agree - being so taken aback by people like Kate has forced me to examine myself.
Before I had my son, I was used to working 2-3 jobs at a time. When I stopped to be home with him, I wanted to be the perfect wife/mother. I was so stressed because the house was nowhere near as tidy as I wanted it, and I barely had time to slap a sandwich together. "If only he didn't need to be held so much! I could get so much more done." A very sweet friend reminded me that right then, I was my baby's entire world, that I wouldn't be for long, and should take advantage of the situation. The world was not always going to be kind and gentle to him, but right at that moment I could make it that way. It took so much pressure off.
None of us are perfect, not by any means. We can only do our best and try to continually improve.
Thank you for this reminder of the positives.

Annalise said...

You were very brave to post that. I have to admit that watching Kate has made me look at myself, and especially my parenting, more closely.

I tend to be so tired at the end of the day that I just want to get dinner cooked and on the table, and I've had very little patience with my kids wanting to "help".

Now, I suck it up and allow my little twinkies to give me all the help they wish. There are nights when preparing dinner takes twice as long now, but it's all worth it.

I'm still working on it, but I feel like I've made a change for the better. Thanks Kate G! (never thought I'd write those words!)

Anonymous said...

Yeah, me too...

I see myself in Kate, although on a much smaller scale (if she's a 10, then I'm a 3). But watching her has made me more aware of what I could sound like, look like and feel like to other people - mainly my husband and children.

My husband is also very much like Jon, and that frustrating! But, there are also a huge amount of great things having a husband like that, too.

I think this is one of the reasons I continue to watch the show. I've told my husband its like therapy for us!

Anonymous said...

Great post.

I've learned from Kate and the show that it isn't all about me. So what if my kids want to wear clothes that don't match, socks with their sandals or whatever? They are clean, well cared for, happy and healthy.

I've also learned that my husband is not my child. Sometimes as a mom you get into the mode of mothering everyone and that just can't be the case.

I too want to thank Kate Gosselin. Keep on acting the way you do and you'll inspire lots of women to become better wives and mothers because they don't want to emulate you.

Anonymous said...

Bravo to the young poster who wrote about the things she has learned from Kate Gosselin...I'm 56and admit it has taken me years to learn some of these life lessons...IMO, this young poster is on her way to sane, happy adulthood...the last lesson, about kid's art not being perfect, makes me sad to think that the 6 will see how their parents talked about and sarcastically made fun of the cupcakes they made (and the boys weren't allowed to eat, but that's another story)

FIONA said...

Those are great posts ladies....we CAN learn something from Kate at her detrement...too bad.

She is unteachable, we are not!

Is this the "learning" part that TLC is providing at the sake of 8 kids and a marriage.

Don't think the marriage would have been better or worse because of the show tho....JMO :)

Anonymous said...

This is the EXACT reason I think a lot of still watch this show. So many people say "If you don't like it, why do you watch?". Well I think it's because of this post. We keep watching, for one, because of the adorable kids. They are cute and we all want to catch those adorable moments like when Collin danced a little jig behind Kate's back. But another reason is because we see how Kate and Jon are and we all want to strive NOT to be anything like them. We have all learned how not to act and what not to do by watching these two crazy people.

Anonymous said...

I was thinking right after last episode (the embarrasing memories) that Kate makes me be a better wife and mom because what I don´t want to be like her and makes me tell to myself: play with your kids!, don´t correct your husband. By watching this show I realized that I have a lot of Kate inside me but I fortunately (for the ones around me) I do apologize for my faults!

bri said...

I too have learned that an argument with one's spouse NEEDS to be taken up in privacy. To never chastise or snap at my husband- even if it doesn't seem like a big deal to me at at the time, it sounds absolutely awful in public and makes other's uncomfortable, not to mention embarassing your husband. This wasn't something that happened with us on a regular basis like Jon & Kate, but now it NEVER happens. She looks like a crazy person when she's lashing into him in public, it makes me cringe.

Also not to argue in front of the children, even if you're not yelling or saying anything terrible, it affects them and contributes to a tense home atmosphere.

Penny said...

Thanks Kate. I now think more before I speak harshly to my husband.

When I see her snap at poor Jon over something that really doesn't matter (like how he breaths), I think "Oh, I never want to sound like her."

Steph said...

Years ago, Al Franken was talking about growing up in St. Louis Park, MN. His parents weren't poor, but they weren't wealthy, either.

He always swore that they had a three bedroom ranch house. It wasn't until years later, when he went back to see the house, that he realized it was both very small AND two bedrooms. He and his brother had their own rooms, and his parents slept in the living room.

Kids don't notice that the house is too small if the parents don't make a big deal about it.

Anonymous said...

Very nicely said; universally valuable lessons no matter where they were learned.

Anonymous said...

OKAY--I will admit that sometimes she goes a little too far nagging and criticizing Jon, but as a married woman (who also shares some of Kate's personality "quirks" on a much lighter level, I hope)...I have to say that he does deserve it at times. Not always, but sometimes he really needs a smack upside the head and a few choice words. Don't all husbands?

dizzy_squishling_and_bean said...

Not always, but sometimes he really needs a smack upside the head and a few choice words. Don't all husbands?

Errr no. Just as I wouldnt stand my husband physically abusing me I wouldn't expect him to tolerate me physically abusing him. Seriously if Jon slapped Kate around the way she slaps him womens rights people would be up in arms crying "OMG ABUUUUUSE".

I have found myself listening to what I say and how I say it in public as I can kinda get a lil short and "barky" at times lol. I feel myself wanting to talk that way and instead count to ten and use a normal speaking voice. Thanks Kate.