They Will Miss Out on So Much

It really bothers me that Kate doesn't understand children or child development in any way. If she is a nurse, surely there were courses given that taught about these things. She has no appreciation for childhood, for the kind of things children enjoy doing, or the way they do things. It is very sad for her children, because they will miss out on so much.

They will miss out on seeing their creations appreciated AS THEY MADE THEM, just because they made them. They will miss out on having Mom say. "Oh it's beautiful, I love it!" or "Oh _____________, I love it, especially because you made it for me." They will miss out on getting paint on themselves, and hearing mom say, "don't worry, it will come out in the wash." They will miss out on making mud pies, rolling in the mud, trudging on the rocks in the middle of a creek and missing the next rock and mom, laughing at their wet, muddy shoe and foot. They will miss out on knowing that mom will always support you and your interests with positive words of encouragement, no matter how unfinished the bowl or how off tune the melody.

Instead, they will be urged towards surface perfection, perfectly matched clothes from the "right" stores, a grown-up's version of their vision, a need to always stay clean and neat and never get dirty. They will be pushed to play with approved toys that are correct for their gender, and feel embarassed if they are a boy, riding a girl's bike or a girl riding a boy's bike. They will never feel accepted and loved unconditionally for the person they are or are becoming, instead the only acceptance will come if they meet their mother's approval, which is based on that ideal of surface perfection and her own self-interest.

The more I watch this show, the more sorry I feel for those kids. Jon is far from a perfect parent, but in his case, I really believe a lot of it is immaturity. Due to Kate's pressures, he found himself with too many kids too quickly, while he was just too young. He's trying to defend his choices when he rages against internet people like us, who find Kate obnoxious and narcissistic, because otherwise he'll just feel emasculated and hoodwinked by the evil bitch he married.

Reprinted with permission from Grammier.

33 comments:

FIONA said...

AHHH! This makes me so sad. I just don't think Kate has it in her. Mothering isn't innate, obviously. Or rather, nuturing.

M.N. said...

ITA. My best childhood memories include things like eating grass, picking 4 leaf clovers, skinning my knees while riding my bike (racing), etc. Poor little Gosslings... they will miss out on all that type of fun.

Anonymous said...

Since Kate got her degree or license from a hospital and there has been a nursing shortage for over the last decade or so, I doubt her classes spent a lot of time on child development or have a child psychology class as prerequisite like a college would. They probably just wanted to get bodies out there as quick as possible.

Anonymous said...

The men I know would have probably pulled their boy off that girl's bike. Joel is lucky that his parents let him ride it.

Jayne said...

Part of my childhood was running around a farm and jumping on hale bales. We loved to camp out in the horse pasture and cook hotdogs on sticks over a fire pit. What a shame these kids will never be allowed to have the freedom to get dirty, to risk eating a little horse crap with a hot dog and just generally get dirty and have fun. Kate could spin all of this negativity her way if she'd go on Intervention or something like that. She could hit reality tv as someone struggling to be a better person for her family and they could trace her progress (come on, she is practically like that OCD guy from Flipping Out). Or she could go the religious route and talk about how she's seen the light and how God has helped her see what needed to be changed. Either way, Kate's got a meal ticket forever.

Steph said...

Yeah, I am glad they let Joel ride the purple bike. If Joel doesn't care, then why should they?

The same little purple bike my niece had was passed down to my daughter AND my son rode if for a little while, too. Then the neighbor boy across the street rode it! :-)

moi said...

The men I know would have probably pulled their boy off that girl's bike. Joel is lucky that his parents let him ride it.

The men (and/or women) I know would have been at work, providing for their families in a respectable way.

Anonymous said...

Most of families with kids that I grew up with, and even my kids who are in their 20's grew up, were glad to even have a bike purple or otherwise. Kids only relate to a bike as a bike, something you ride for fun. Especially at age 3-4. The color of the bike serves absolutely NO significance to the child unless imposed on by the ignorance of the PARENTS!

FIONA said...

Good Grief, who cares if the bike is purple? IS that a girl color?

Kate already has these kids so mixed up as to what girls and boys should or should not be doing....it is pathetic!

FIONA said...

I have thought of that too. Let's hope the viewers aren't that stupid to fall for it. Kate could be one never ending reality show.

Kate in rehab.

Kate gets divorce.

Kate gets an inspirational speaking tour. OMG!

iluveeyore said...

An old friend of mine had a father who was a doctor. He used to say "Every child needs to eat a peck of dirt before they grow up."

iluveeyore said...

The bike had purple AND PINK streamers -- and "Joel didn't even seem to mind." How absolutely bizarre.

Lordy Be -- the woman is bonkers.

iluveeyore said...

Kate has absolutely NO self-awareness. She has no idea how what she says and does comes across to the viewing public. If she did, she would keep her mouth shut most of the time.

I think that Figure 8/TLC realized early on that they had a gold mine in Katie Irene Gosselin! If she were a loving, nurturing person, I doubt that people would still be watching the show.

Anonymous said...

iluveeyore said... Kate has absolutely NO self-awareness. She has no idea how what she says and does comes across to the viewing public. If she did, she would keep her mouth shut most of the time.

I think that Figure 8/TLC realized early on that they had a gold mine in Katie Irene Gosselin! If she were a loving, nurturing person, I doubt that people would still be watching the show.



iluveeyore, you are so right, if Kate had any awareness of what is proper, she would check her mouth at the door.

TLC aired a family of 16 the other night, the Arndt family. They seemed so happy, sweet, and nice. I'm sorry to say, I wouldn't tune in to watch them, they seemed like a normal family, who actually provide for their family without taking advantage of other people. Hmmmm...imagine that.

Anonymous said...

a family of 16 the other night, the Arndt family. They seemed so happy, sweet, and nice.

Wait, what?? There's a family with more than 8 kids? But eight is so many! I was pretty sure no one had had quite so many children before ... but then I remembered all those families pre-1980-only-child-epidemic, all those Catholics (I'm one so don't get upset), all those other families on TLC, and so on. Jon and Kate (we know you're reading this so pay attention) act as though they have discovered a cure for cancer or something. You have 8 kids, put on your big-kid underwear, get a job, be adults, and DEAL.

Serena said...

Jon and Kate (we know you're reading this so pay attention) act as though they have discovered a cure for cancer or something. You have 8 kids, put on your big-kid underwear, get a job, be adults, and DEAL.

But wait! They had SIX KIDS AT ONCE!! All at once! When they already had TWO KIDS! That means they had eight kids under the age of 5! Oh my god!

That is an unprecedented hardship in the history of civilization that qualifies anything they do as heroic and utterly beyond reproach. And it invalidates any criticism of them because NO ONE ELSE HAS EVER HAD IT AS HARD AS THE GOSSELINS!

Anonymous said...

While flipping thru the channels last night, I came across yet another J & K rerun probably the worst yet, the Hair Transplant episode. I came in at the point where Kate was removing the staples from J's head while the children sit around the table as her audience. My first question was , why on earth would a mother intentionally place her children as an audience to staple removal? IMO, I dont think it was necessary to any purpose of the show, staple removal , or otherwise for those children to be forced to sit and watch something like that! Not that I personally think that the children are forever emotionally or mentally damaged by the experience but I just found it highly inappropriate. As if there were no other hours in the day to perform the task without interuption other than mid afternoon moments before the twins get home from school. Perhaps a better choice would have been when the children are in bed and less chance of disruption and chaos? I guess that would have been the most rational and obvious of choices. Rational being the operative word , one that Kate does not associate with.
Another observation over the course of the more recent episodes. Now that the tups are 4 years old and just about school age, its about time that they learn how to control their bladder. Im sure the never ending pouring of juice down their throats contributes to their need to constantly pee, however, it seems as if the tups use the idea of going pee as an 'out' in many situations, ie. having to pee immediately when they are in their car seat,when they exit the car, moments after getting in their snow suits, when they immediately arrive at a destination (Crayola Factory), depart a destination (the Utah airport). IMO, in as much as alot of the peeing that goes on is J & K placating unnecessarily to the tups, age four isnt an unreasonable age to start practicing more controlled potty habits. Cutting back 3/4% on the juice intake wouldnt hurt either.

Serena said...

As if there were no other hours in the day to perform the task without interuption other than mid afternoon moments before the twins get home from school.

Just another example of the tyranny of the production schedule. They have to fit their activities around the requirements of the filming, not vice versa.

Anonymous said...

Compared to the amount of juice that my sister and brother-in-law give my niece, the amount of juice the J&K kids drink is nothing. Plus, how long does it take a kid to control their bladder after learning to potty train? The sextuplets were late potty trainers. I don't think the girls were potty trained late last summer while it took the boys longer and they were potty trained till the fall. That could be the reason for the lack of bladder control earlier episodes from this year. You have to also factor in that we see the episodes 1 to 2 months after they are filmed. They could be a lot better at bladder control now than they were one to two months ago. They are multiples who can lag behind others in areas of development. That could be another reason for the lack of bladder control.

FIONA said...

Peeing is really the only thing the kids have control over....interesting

Anonymous said...

You guys......don't worry about the juice intake. It's organic!

Anonymous said...

Jon and Kate are slightly older versions of the Baby Borrowers, another stupid reality show. But, hello, J&K can't give their babies back! The J&K gravy train will end (well perhaps not soon enough), but the children will still need food and clothing. I hope these kids learn to read well. They will soon be learning lines for their acting careers. Good luck, little Gosselins. You'd better be able to support your parents in the life style they've become accustomed to. This show is just plain creepy.

sherp said...

Jon and Kate have hit the lottery. Would anyone expect a lottery winner to toil in the vineyards after winning millions? I don'. They don't abuse the kids which is in todays world a lot.

Maggie said...

I hardly think not abusing their kids is praiseworthy if that is the only positive comment to be made of their parenting skills. It just means they are not criminals.

There are a lot of people who have won the lottery who have kept their jobs, or started a business. There are people who inherit money or are born into it who work their whole lives when they don't have to.

sophist said...

i remember an episode where they stated that kate was a former labor and delivery nurse, in which case, childcare skills are not necessary, and instead they teach you to be crazy, possessive of your patients (to point where you don't let the ob/gyns do their job), and more crazy. to me, this explains a lot of kate's personality, and her lack of parenting skills.

Anonymous said...

Sophist, if what you said is true, it would just be another reason in the long list of reasons as to why people are looking to get out of nursing in droves and why we have shortage. That's horrible.

Anonymous said...

This is just speculation of course, but given Kate's traditional views of gender roles, it's possible she went into nursing because it seemed a respectable female job (like teaching). These are hard jobs and are best done by those who are really dedicated.

sherp said...

I am a Registered Nurse. After fifty one years, I retired. Loved it as much the day I retired as I did in 1954. Males are very prominant in Nursing today and are terrific to work with, all the time. The pay is great. Although a demanding job, it never gets boring.
I don't know why Kate quit but I do think she is lazy.

Anonymous said...

I though Kate was working in a Dialysis Center.

Serena said...

I though Kate was working in a Dialysis Center.

She was doing that every other weekend when the tups were babies/toddlers. Prior to the tups being born she was a Labor & Delivery nurse.

Anonymous said...

There are many excellent nurses of both sexes, and it's a fulfilling but often high stress career. I don't know how freaked out Kate managed it. Apparently, she didn't get mad at a patient and make him or her sleep on the floor. She still has her license as far as I know.

Anonymous said...

Nursing is not about child developement but about helping to make the sick better - doing the treatments, giving the medication and assisting the Doctor.

Anonymous said...

If she is grossed out easily, why she becomes a nurse?? This job requires dealing with human bodily mess too!