Kate – besides her snappish attitude verbally, what are you noticing? Besides that she is always “exhausted”.
When she was at the now-infamous Cupcake Gate bakery – her body posture was slouching, with her arms crossed the entire time. This is considered a very negative message from her – she is disinterested in what her children are doing – and only speaks to tell them not to be messy. Not to encourage any of their creativity – but to sit and complain at all. Her lips continued to purse together in disapproval, rolling her eyes, and sullen face – not counting the laziness of not picking up a chair to move across the room to another table. Basically she came off as a petulant brat. Maybe they asked them to pay for the cupcakes.
Jon would have been better off to bring all 8 kids there by himself. The bakery staff were kind, courteous and giving the kids a fun time. They could have easily handled the kids and Jon could have been the supportive parent – AND the kids would have gotten their cupcakes. I’m sure the 75 minute ride home would have worked most of the sugar out of their systems. The aprons were the right idea – bringing Kate along: the wrong idea. Leave her home to sleep.
Usually when Kate is doing activities such as cooking, she continues to whip her body around, slouching while speaking, constantly wiping her forehead like she has toiled mightily at the riverbed with her rocks to launder the kids’ clothes. When she speaks to the children her hands are either at her hips (Judgmental/Bossy) or crossed at her chest (Disinterest/Blocking). When she speaks to the camera or Jon, she has one hand on her hip (or both – again back to Judgmental/Bossy) and she rolls her eyes and grimaces at some of Jon’s replies. These are histrionic actions on her part to garner attention. Additionally, when she is sitting with the children she usually doesn’t always allow one in her lap – they will grow so fast and miss so much of their physical love – she isolates herself away from them and Jon. Sometimes it looks like the only time she sits with Jon is when they are on camera in the basement for the show.
Now let’s look at Jon’s body language: in non-professional terms, he is “whipped”. He is very passive in his stance, hangs his head a lot and now we are seeing more and more on camera (and past the editing process) that verbally he is starting to stand up for himself – and sometimes the kids – more. He usually does not come down to the kids’ level to speak with them, but it is good that he is on the floor when he is dressing them.
By the way, at age 4 these kids should have more skills than we are seeing. ESPECIALLY if both parents are home. They should be able to sit in real chairs, use real glasses and no bibs at the table. Kate’s OCD issues should not cause these children to not gain the real world skills they need. The younger children will be heading to pre-kinder soon, and the more skills they have the better. They can’t use sippy cups all their lives. Ever heard of straws? If they were so worried about stains they should have waited until AFTER the children learned how to drink in normal glasses before changing out the carpeting.
In my opinion, the Gosselins should slow down the shooting schedule, let the family members that have been cut out of the kids’ lives back in, and be a real family again that just happens to have a camera crew following them. Rather than a TV show that happens to have your kids in it.
I would think that each generation tries to redeem itself and not make the same mistakes unto their kids. I will use myself as an example, my parents were not “huggers” or demonstrative to my younger sibling or myself – so I tend to overcompensate on that with my child and spouse. Plus we work on talking things out, not yelling as may have occurred. Jon and Kate’s children are learning so far: Time Out, go away from me and play I’m busy, hug when you hit, cameras in face all the time, and Mommy yells at Daddy and us a lot. All of us have memories of our parents doing something /promising something that never happened. I promised myself I would not ever lie or break a promise to my child. I’ve succeeded thus far.
How many of you have noticed the body language changes of the older girls? Cara is very withdrawn, purposely avoiding the camera - only being in shots when she is forced to. The recent "official jumping the shark" music video being a prime example. She was slouching and going away from the camera, and in the "end" shot, she was sitting on the end with her head in her hands, very negative body language. Basically, she didn’t want to be there and she seems to be avoiding the cameras more and more.
Cara could well be the nicer of the two older girls, but since Mady always performs for the camera like a canned ham no matter what - she gets the "face time" and I think nothing Cara can do will elicit praise or positive actions from her parents.
I fear that Aaden, Collin, Joel, Hannah, Leah, Alexis, Cara and Mady will be working hard to wrestle the demons of their childhood and I hope they have supportive professional people in the days and years to come. Even “SURVIVOR” makes sure there are mental health professionals to monitor the people on their reality show – where are the people to protect and advocate for the children? I know we have our band of folks, but TLC needs to be looking at the long-term situation for these children not just their ratings.
Submitted for publication by Beejcctx.