Before You Dig Deep...

Submitted for publication by Katherine.

The thin webs of connection that bind me to the Gosselins are numerous. I have distant family who know Kate's family. I, like Kate, am infertile. She and I both love Disney World and we're both loud and bossy women. We both grew up in very strict, straightlaced religious families and both feared barrenness from a very young age. More than anything else that binds us, though, is our shared faith in Christ. ...continued

77 comments:

Serena said...

BEFORE YOU DIG DEEP...

Submitted for publication by Katherine.

The thin webs of connection that bind me to the Gosselins are numerous. I have distant family who know Kate's family. I, like Kate, am infertile. She and I both love Disney World and we're both loud and bossy women. We both grew up in very strict, straight-laced religious families and both feared barrenness from a very young age. More than anything else that binds us, though, is our shared faith in Christ.

It is this shared faith which causes me to be of two minds about how to approach the issue of The Gosselins. I know the struggles of modern Christianity, the pain of taking up your cross daily and having the world question the reality of your faith every time you slip up in the slightest. I've often been accused of "not acting like a Christian" if I lose my temper, drink a margarita or skip church on Sunday. I think though, that the culture of modern Christianity made the Gosselins, and it is our responsibility to speak out against what they appear to be doing. Please know as you read this that I am NOT at all saying the Gosselins are not Christians. Such a judgment is between them and the Heavenly Father. I do think their actions require other members of the Christian family to stand up and disavow loudly.

Little girls who grow up in strict churches often fear infertility. In both the Old and New testaments of the Christian Bible, it is the greatest sadness for a woman to not be able to have children. Many stories revolve around the struggle for pregnancy, and some churches even preach that it is a sign of great sinfulness if married women don't give their husbands children. Yet even so, many churches also preach strongly against fertility treatments of any kind. When the McCaughey Septuplets were born in 1997, it shook the foundations of the Evangelical church. I knew the McCaugheys' pastor through my Christian school and I remember very much how churches across the country rallied to donate whatever they could -- energized by the McCaugheys' tale of faith and steadfast decision to not undergo selective reduction.

I bring up the McCaugheys because I have no doubt that the windfall they experienced was as big a news story in Kate's strict Christian world as it was mine. I'm sure that to a girl who grew up in the Christian and Missionary Alliance denomination, the fact that a family could have seven babies AND get everything paid for -- houses, cars, clothes and college -- seemed better than winning the lottery. In fact, so much of what Kate and Jon say during their visits to churches is almost word for word what we church people heard from the McCaugheys ten years ago, especially the strong stance against reduction.

I believe that is what leads the Gosselins to go on their speaking tours of various churches. For Kate it all started with the church and that is where the most emotional significance will come in to play. The phrase "Love Offering" means that the money is given out of love, but in some way I think that to Kate especially it also means that the money conveys a sort of love that she is desperately seeking even now.

Contrary to what most people think, the Bible does not say that "money is the root of all evil.". The actual teaching is that "The love of money is the root of all evil", and when I watch the show or read interviews with the Gosselins their love of money is shouted far louder than their love of family and their love of God. This struck me when I watched the birthday episode with the carnival. While Jodi and Beth and other volunteers helped Kate in the garage with decorations at one point Kate says "next year I should have a neighborhood carnival and charge...". The camera quickly panned away, but that small scene spoke volumes. It was a woman who was estranged from nearly her entire family and was preparing to celebrate her children's birthday -- but the thought of how to make more money was at the forefront of her mind.

As I watch the show this summer it strikes me that the Gosselins may no longer need the offerings given from the churches. But they sure do need the love. And frankly, part of the love is showing where they are wrong. As far as I'm concerned, taking money from the Church under false pretenses falls under the heading of "VERY BADLY WRONG" and that's why I decided to write this post. I can only plead with my fellow Christians to do what they should always be doing when they give to every charity. Prayerfully review the group or person and their need as you weigh it against your own stewardship responsibilities to your family and home church. Do not be blinded by the lights of showbiz, or a pretty face or a pretty voice. Remember that Jesus asked us to do for the LEAST among us -- and those who are not the least may not necessarily deserve part of the money God has blessed you with.

Administrative Note: The above post reflects the Christian viewpoint because the Gosselins market themselves as Christian speakers. While they will no longer speak to groups who can't afford the $25,000 speaker's fee, they are still appearing at Churches who contracted with them prior to the implementation of the speaker's fee, and in some cases those churches are still telling the attendees to come "prepared to give a love offering".

We realize that not all readers -- and indeed not all GWoP staff members -- are Christians. Comments attempting to start religious wars will not be published.

Alison said...

Nicely put, I liked your blog entry.


But Jon and Kate will never give to charity unless it benefits them. Because no matter what, they are going to they they are victims of society.

Robert said...

Religion is one of those topics that will always bring out strong opinions.

Regardless of your religion - if you choose to have one - I think there are a few basic beliefs that they all share.

The most obvious is the belief that you should treat others as you wish to be treated.

Since we are only given a snapshot of the Gosselin's life it's hard to say with certainty - but it appears from what we see that J&K fail at this basic concept. We never see them returning even a fraction of the generosity they have been blessed with.

Another area in which I believe they are failing is related to this as well, but has separate importance.

Being a Christian/Jew/Muslim/Whatever is kind of a 24 hour a day thing. To call yourself a Christian (or any other religion) just because you go to church or pray is doing the religion a disservice.

Church is a place you go, and prayer is a thing you do - but it is the way you conduct your life when you are not doing those things that makes you a "Christian" (or whatever...)

It's easy to say you are a "Christian". It's far more difficult to actually walk the walk. This is perhaps J&K's biggest failure.

There's far more to being a "Christian" than just saying you are. Far more than cutting out some verses or saying a prayer before meals.

If this is what being "Christians" is to the Gosselin's, then I would say the churches they attend haven't done a real good job in educating them.

Carolina said...

I will never, EVER question someone's faith. It is their personal relationship with their deity, and is none of my business. That being said, it is quite appalling that a family who claims to be speaking to others to "inspire" them and talk of their love of Christ charges $25k to do so! That doesn't make them "bad Christians," it makes them bad PEOPLE. Taking the kindness of others and exploiting it, especially while basically giving them the middle finger as you do so, is just plain disgusting to me regardless of religious affiliation (or lack thereof.)

People will continue to pray for the Gosselins. I can get behind that. What I can't for the life of me understand is how anyone would want to donate money or gifts to a family who so blatantly manipulates multitudes of people and feels entitled to things simply because they have children.

Nat said...

Hi Katherine, thanks so much for posting this. Although I am an atheist I was raised in a very catholic home and I appreciate and understand the church community. I have seen (and admired) first hand the generosity of a church community rally around a member who was in need, giving not only money but time, home cooked meals, child care, elderly care, etc. All of this given with unconditional love and compassion, with the knowledge that if it was them that were in need it would certainly be reciprocated. That to me is what a church is all about, supporting and helping each other.

So when the Gosselins have there "speaking engagements" at these churches and they are still making these ridiculous claims of "barely getting by" it doesn't surprise me that people are giving money to them. That's what a church community does. What infuriates me is that Kon are taking complete advantage of this. Its one thing to accept free-bees from fans, but to manipulate an entire church into giving you money is unforgivable. I'm sure a lot of those churches have honest families that are in desperate need and the money that would have been given to them is instead given to the Gosselins. It makes me sick.

I have read that during recent speaking engagements there are a lot of people standing up and asking them about the Enquirer article. One recent question and answer they did had to be cut short because they had 3 people in a row stand up and make comments about them exploiting there children and Jon and Kate were VERY uncomfortable. :)

Anonymous said...

I am so disappointed that the churches "request" the love offerings... people should give if they so desire, not be made to feel like they have to. I agree with the gal that wrote this post, it should be a choice, not a requirement. "Poor" Gosselins... not $$$ wise of course...

Anonymous said...

I think this is one of the most insightful, thoughtful, and appropriate posts I have read. Thank you for sharing your perspective and I hope if Jon and Kate are reading they really read this carefully. I pray their eyes will be opened soon.

mom22 said...

This is a great post! You don't have to be a strong Christian to get it! Thank you. I have never considered giving this family anything besides a thank for entertaining my 4 year old who begs me to let her watch. My charity begins at home with my needed family members and will remain there.
Right On Katherine!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for giving me a new vantage point from which to view the Gosselins.

Your piece was well written and quite tactful and I believe you have the good of the family as a whole in mind.

Seti said...

Thanks for this comment. I wondered how much the emphasis on motherhood in churches affected Kate in her teens and early 20's. You wrote, "Little girls who grow up in strict churches often fear infertility." This may explain Kate's eagerness to solidify her position as wife and mother.

The problem is, despite expectations, not all women are cut out to be parents. For the Gosselins, it seems to be an issue of status. I've noticed with Kate that she strives to show people that she's doing it all, that she has it all.

The show makes me sad. Expectations for women in some traditional circles are one of supreme domesticity. I've seen this before and I'll likely see it again. Motherhood is divine for some and hell for others. We like to let our outrage go in this blog/forum. Reading this makes me feel sorry for Kate. She got into motherhood without knowing herself and what she really wanted. Or perhaps, she did want to be a mother, but so other people would see what she had achieved (all the wrong reasons).

Like many women who do because they "should," she's now stuck. What a horrid position to be in.

5monkeys said...

Katherine, thank you for submitting your email to be posted. It certainly puts alot of things in perspective, and one can only hope that the "love offerings" of money will stop because J&K simply do not need it.

While they will no longer speak to groups who can't afford the $25,000 speaker's fee

J&K get the $25k in it's entirety? Do they have to pay taxes on it? (sorry, but I don't understand how this stuff works).

Chris said...

Thank you Katherine for putting into words some of the things that I have felt.

I will continue to pray that their money god is banished from their lives.

AmandaT said...

Thank you for expressing your thoughts and heart in this post. I realize that GWoP is not a religious forum, and that the admin and readers come from all walks of life and all faiths. Myself, I am Christian. The way that J&K express their faith is what bothers me the most about the whole spectacle. They talk about church, wear tee-shirts, and tape bible verses to the cabinets. And yet, it is otherwise hard to discern their beliefs. In the vast majority of communication between husband and wife, parent and child, it is difficult to see the fruits of the spirit. It is hard to find patience and kindness. And this saddens me more than it outrages me, because they have such an opportunity on their show!
Then add on the lies, the deceptions, the greed, the obvious love of money. I very much agree that accountability is an important part of the Christian walk. If I speak or act in a way that it out of line, it is an act of love for someone to speak to me privately about my actions. If I do not listen, then it is love when that person recruits another person to again counsel me. If I still do not take heed, then I should expect my Christian community to publicly offer their counsel and support.
I am hopeful that there are strong people in the Gosselin's lives who are willing to truly act in love. And yet, it seems like those people are shut out quickly. I am hopeful that they will persist in counseling and offering support, if nothing more than for those sweet children.

WatchOverThem said...

In the Sunday School, Ice Cream episode Kate said that she liked her church because "people don't bother us." Now, I can't read Kate's mind, but my goodness, I thought this was the saddest comment ever as her church community could be her largest support group, a group of people that love and welcome the family as friends, neighbors and partners in Christ. Maybe this church does just that, but it sounded to me like Kate was pushing them away, taking what she needed to get the kids away from her for an hour while she went and did her thing in the sanctuary/auditorium, gathered her kids from the "helpers" and went on her merry way, more filming, more scripted family times.

Do Jon or Kate volunteer time to their church? Perhaps I shouldn't wonder about it, but if Kate loves babies, maybe she could give back an hour a week to the nursery, while others are giving time and faithful support to her children?

njz said...

Interesting insight into one of the influences in Kate's life.

However, I do really believe that Kate and Jonathan try too hard when it comes to their faith. Having to constantly tell us about it, wear shirts citing scripture, etc. mean nothing to me if your actions are preaching the opposite. And I do believe that many of their "daily" actions show their character. Sure everyone has a bad day and we yell, argue, etc., but day to day behaviors speak volumes.

Some of the biggest hypocrites I know are weekly churchgoers.

And for the record, I was raised Catholic, went to Catholic school, was scared to death of what the nuns told me, and yet I am still a Catholic churchgoer because I saw all of the positive things involved in organized religion. My faith has sustained me through some tough times.

All that really matters in the end is LOVE. Doesn't matter what religion you believe in, or if you believe in any. So, Kate and Jonathan, love each other, love your children, love your extended family, and most of all love yourselves.

luvmytwins said...

Great post. I think that is what grates on my nerves the most, the facade of how religious they are. Maybe they were, but now I just see dollar signs in their eyes.. When I began watching the show I just loved them. Now, I just see them as the phonies they really are. Greed is strong. I saw Jon speak and he informed the audience that Kate now wants to adopt... hmmm, can we say gravy train?

Anonymous said...

" I saw Jon speak and he informed the audience that Kate now wants to adopt... hmmm, can we say gravy train?"
Adopt a child? I hope he said this is jest and wasnt being serious. J & K already have a sense of entitlement and are relying on the public for donations, freebies, and love offerings to accomodate the 8 children they do have. Are they expecting the public to be equally responsible to accomodate a 9th adopted child? IMO, they need to put their time and efforts in to appreciating and respecting the NEEDS of the 8 children they do have before they even remotely consider the idea of adoption.

xsandlapper said...

luvmytwins ~ When did he say that? They can't handle the ones they have even with a lot of help!

my9cats said...

Excellent thoughtful commentary.
Well done.

Perhaps the loving thing to do for KON is rather than giving them envelopes of cash, how about envelopes filled with coupons which they can use towards food and clothes etc.

Think of how much they could save on double coupon days!

IMHO said...

Nicely put. I grew up in a very conservative Christian home as well and still joyfully embrace my faith. However, I wasn't raised to think my fertility had anything to do with my faith or lack thereof, it is just how I was created. I'm not infertile, but know people that were. I can honestly say nobody in our community associated it with the Old Testament curses or blessings. So, good things to chew on.

On the lighter side, are you really that loud and bossy?

kgirl said...

Interesting and well written post. I think this gives an insight into where the Gosselins began though we know they have travelled down a new road.

I think one of the great things about religious communities, no matter what religion it is, is that they do tend to reach out and help each other when in true need. It is sad that this family has not been able to say; thanks for your help, but we don't need it anymore, we are surviving fine now.

Martina said...

Thank you for posting from the pov of judging ones actions and *not* judging ones soul. As Christians we are called to watch out for each other out of love and concern. Your post is very well written and your genuine love for them as children of God really shines through. I do have to comment on one thing that baffles me. As a practicing Catholic I find it odd that infertility would be preached as something possibly sinful. The scripture that stands out to me most is (and I'm paraphrasing here) 'blessed are the wombs that never bore children and the breast that did not give suckle'. I've always found that to be encouraging for those struggling with infertility.

Again, thank you for so eloquently stating a much needed POV. I have participated and moderated many religious discussions for the past 4.5 years and know well how quickly things can get heated or ugly.

One of my favorite quotes is 'preach the gospel always and when necessary use words.' I pray the Gosselins (because now more than ever they need our prayers) find a way to become humbled by the generosity shown them and that it becomes evident in their exchanges with strangers and makes it's way into the 22 minutes we see and not on the cutting room floor.

sabrinasmom said...

I think one of the great things about religious communities, no matter what religion it is, is that they do tend to reach out and help each other when in true need.

Yes, definitely and most often when they cannot really afford to either.

Alison said...

" I saw Jon speak and he informed the audience that Kate now wants to adopt... hmmm, can we say gravy train?"



If she's considering asia, they probably won't let her, many asian countries won't let you adopt if you have more than 4 kids in the home

SecretMonkey said...

Thank you for your eloquent and thoughtful post, Katherine. I am always moved when I hear of a religious community reaching out to help those in need.

These days, I can not read any forums where people post how excited they are to be going to one of J&K's appearances, and how they will definitely be bringing a love offering. Two unemployed people who allow themselves to be filmed as if they were capable of buying a lavish property with a horse barn do not need those love offerings.

Kat Coble said...

Thanks to all of you for your kind words about the post.

I was getting too wordy so I didn't go into the whole love offering thing in more detail.

I hate the phrase "love offering" because it's manipulative--if you have LOVE you better give an offering...if you don't give an offering you aren't being loving. Besides which, the Bible says that all offerings made by the body of Christ should be given in love. So "Love offering" is one of those phrases that needs to be retired.

Beyond that, though, many people do get something in return for their gift. When they hear the Gosselins--or any other speaker--tell the story of a miraculous financial deliverance it has a manipulative effect on the audience. The speaker tells about how they were going to have the lights shut off and then some kind woman in the church gave them a surprise check that was just enough for the light bill (!) and that woman was the hand of God.

Well, don't you want to be the hand of God, too? Of course you do! That $10 you put in the plate makes you an angel to someone else, because you've met their need.

I'm sure that's what motivates a lot of people at the Gosselins' rallies.

There's also the "pie" factor. My mom taught me to never go to another person's house empty-handed. If worse came to worse you could always bring a pie.

A lot of people feel the same way about church. Whenever the plate is passed you have to put SOMETHING in. It's just good manners.

I find it odd that infertility would be preached as something possibly sinful.

Well, I do too. But in some theologies--usually the Word of Faith churches--any type of illness or financial trouble is the direct result of sinfulness. This is usually where you find the people who say that infertility is a sin. I personally have been told that I'm cursed by God and will never bear children until the curse is lifted.

I think that's a bunch of hooey, but there are all types of people in the world.

Anonymous said...

I too was raised to see fertility as a gift to both husband and wife, and that infertility was a cause for sadness. But I never heard anyone treat infertility as a source of sinfulness. So that was really interesting to read about.

Taking on Kate and Jon's religious behavior is both dangerous and brave. I really think this was an insightful and loving post. It IS hard to consider yourself a Christian, but sometimes love another person by NOT giving to them. Sometimes forcing people to stand on their own two feet is the greatest gift of love one can give.

Anonymous said...

What a great post. It was really nailed on the head about how Kate wanted to charge admission for a carnival. You can talk until you are blue in the face about honesty but if you knowingly keep a 10 dollar bill instead of a 5 dollar bill (when receiving change) in front of your kids OR eat a donut while grocery shopping and blow off paying for it, you have said more about honesty in actions than you will ever know. That is what bugs me about Kate and Jon (especialy his ISAIAH t shirt) - they talk A LOT about being Christians but their actions are quite another thing.

Whitney said...

J&K get the $25k in it's entirety? Do they have to pay taxes on it?

Taxes or not that is still a big sum of money.

In the Sunday School, Ice Cream episode Kate said that she liked her church because "people don't bother us." Now, I can't read Kate's mind, but my goodness, I thought this was the saddest comment ever as her church community could be her largest support group, a group of people that love and welcome the family as friends, neighbors and partners in Christ.

That’s not the vibe that I took from that comment. What I took from it was that people don’t constantly try to talk to them and bother them when they were just trying to go to church. I understand that they are in the public eye but if everyone in that church tried to talk to them (and there were a lot of people) then it would be never ending. I took her “people don’t bother us” comment as a sign that the church goers had respect for their privacy. If that is the case then I say good to the church goers. Not that I condone Kon’s unsociable nature but their respect beams of class, in my opinion.

Sera said...

Katherine, I enjoyed reading your perspective in your post. It was very articulate.

What bothers me the most about the Gosselins in their speaking engagements, is that I have this vision of kind-hearted, hard-working people parting with whatever spare money they may have to help this "needy" family, and all the while Jon and Kate are laughing all the way to the bank making fools of these poor people.

Anonymous said...

"I am hopeful that there are strong people in the Gosselin's lives who are willing to truly act in love. And yet, it seems like those people are shut out quickly. I am hopeful that they will persist in counseling and offering support, if nothing more than for those sweet children."

It appears that all of those people have been cut out of their lives and are reticent to speak up for fear of being sued. By the time Kon sucks someone dry and spits them out, they are probably relieved to be free of them. You could hardly blame them.

But the losers in all this, of course, are the children. They lose out on the few loving, stable, positive influences they have in their young lives.

Katherine, thank you for a well written, heartfelt post that expresses a very much needed perspective.

luvmytwins said...

No, he was quite serious. He said Kate has "always wanted to adopt" and he told her just not RIGHT NOW. He needs some time. But he was quite serious. Unfortunately.

Anonymous said...

Blessing become a burden if they are not shared with others. I think that this statment holds true for the Gosselins.
The blessing that they received in terms of free help, money, vacations, food,diapers, vans, ect ect, the list is too long to keep writing. I think these blessings will be their ultimate down fall. Because the G's have gotten rid of what matters most which is caring family members.
When it is all said and done the free million dollar home will become their burden, and they will not be able to maintain it. The children are already becoming a burden to them. So they look to adopt with hopes of prolonging this circus they call a family show.
Kate is a collector. She is collecting babies, like most people collect dolls. She is so in love with babies, because she wants to feel needed. That is why she likes hannah so much because hannah is very needy. She rarely has anything to do with the other children unless forced.
Side not I plan on contacting my congressman about this show. I would encourage all those who take the time here to post to do the same. If the parents wont be advocates for their own chidren. Then we must take up the reigns and do so.

Barbara said...

luvmytwins:
She wants to adopt?????? Was this recently he said this? I'm shocked, but I don't know why?

Paula said...

I wasn't sure where to post this - but here is a list of archived articles/blogs from the Reading paper. People have been onto the Gosselins for a while in PA - it won't be long before the whole country knows what phonies these two are.

http://readingeagle.com/search.aspx
Put Gosselin in the Search field and search All Dates - check articles and blogs.

luvmytwins said...

I saw them (actually just J) at the National Mothers of Twins Association conference in Boston in July. End of July. Yes, yes yes he said Kate wants to adopt. And she is working with Proctor and Gamble on some sort of "project" having to do with childrens cancer or something. Because, he said, "its very near to our hearts". ??? As I mentioned, I loved them when I got there, sat there with baited breath in anticipation, etc... and my Bull***t sensor was going off like crazy... Then I was told by a very credible person that K wanted "extras" and was "very upset" when told no. Everything was paid for, I can't imagine what else she could have needed. But that, in conjunction with the $20 autographs, was what ended my love affair.

luvmytwins said...

The minute he said they (or K) wanted to adopt I knew exactly what she was up to. I mean, when these kids go to school, what are they going to film? K drinking coffee and bossing around the help? Seriously, keep it a circus and people will keep watching. No sincerity there, sorry.

LBP said...

I also saw Jon at the twins convention in Boston the end of July. Yes, he seemed very serious about Kate wanting to adopt. I was shocked! I enjoyed listening to him, but was also very annoyed about him asking for $20 for autographs and a pic. Especially from a group of moms of multiples. I wonder if the reason Kate wasn't there was because of her wanting the extras...I was told it was a production conflict. Either way, I was glad to hear him speak without her.

Anonymous said...

luvmytwins could you tell us more of what happened at the conference with j an k? were they friendly people? did they talk about the house? their future plans What did kate have to say?
I too think charging for and autograph is greedy at a 25,000 speaking event. It would be different if they were donating the money to charity, but they are their own charity. I feel sorry for any child they adopt in the future. Kate does not even look after the kids she has now. She expects us to believe she can take care of a baby.

mlou said...

RE:I feel sorry for any child they adopt in the future. Kate does not even look after the kids she has now. She expects us to believe she can take care of a baby.

I would hope any reputable adoption agency would see that Kon has never provided for their own children, only exploited them. I would also hope they would give a child to a more deserving family. Parents who would cherish them and look at them without $$$ in their eyes. I have several friends who have been on fertility treatments who would do anything for a child, including adoption. I don't even want to think of people like Kate getting them instead. They obviously have their hands full. She's not exactly your Mia Farrow type.

NewMom08 said...

I'm sorry?!! Just what kind of twisted logic and brains do these people have? The things they say and do just keep getting worse!!!
They plead poor and without college funds at speaking engagements wherein they charge $25000 for a 35 minute blab which is regurgitation of the opening of their show, and DESPITE the fact that they ALREADY have NO money, they want to bring a NINTH child into their family? WTF?
Kate isn't just touched in the head, she's down right psychotic for thinking that this is sensical.

In this case I do feel sorry for Jon. He didn't want the sextuplets, let alone another baby.
Give it a rest, Kate, god forbid you don't have a baby in the house to be your excuse for all of your shortcomings! LOL....

Can't you just hear her now...
JOOOONNNNN....I have NINE babies, can you come get our adopted one?
HELLLLOOOO...I have to cook for NINE kids here......
OY VEY....

Lonnyswife said...

Adopt? Oh my Lord!
Maybe a third world child. But even Madonna had to go thru all the hoops. Someone would have to do a home visit or two AND there is the unfortunate problem of all those hours of 'real life' on video. Not to mention they are both unemployed.
All I have to say to both of them is: Be careful what you wish for!

Anonymous said...

My husband and I have 4 children, but we always wanted more. I can not have any more biologically, but I was raised in a family with adopted children, so I saw no problem with having a mix of bio and adopted kids. We did want babies though, because we thought it unfair to our small kids for us to bring in an older foster child who may have serious problems, then have to give that child back to the state. That would just break too many hearts.

As we looked into adopting a baby, we've run into so many walls. There seems to be no one willing to adopt to a family that has as many children as we already do. I would understand if there weren't so many babies in need (mostly mixed race and black children), but as it stands our ability to have 4 of our own stops us from adopting any more.

Reading that Kate wants to adopt a baby, I hope these rules keep her from doing that. She goes on and on about how hard 8 kids are. I hope the "celebrity" factor doesn't weigh in on this.

Anonymous said...

Actually, it is pretty much common knowledge that KON had the opportunity to adopt a Korean male infant before Kate got pregnant with the tups. KON said they, "prayed about it and declined." It makes sense. Kate already had a plan to have six babies so why bother with a singleton? No $$$$ with a singleton. Only now, that maybe they need a new story line does she consider adopting. But it's not really adopting a child for normal reasons. It's adding income to the Gosselin family business.

luvmytwins said...

Actually J seemed very nice and funny. I believe that is b/c K did not show up and he could actually relax. He did not talk about the move nor future plans (other than the adopt. comment, the two books and the P$G deal K has in the works). But still, as I sat there... I don't know. I left feeling like they had quite a sense of entitlement, and it bugged me, quite frankly. Like he was defending their free vacas and swag by saying, "..well, we ARE the #1 rated show on TLC". HIS emphasis, not mine. Yuck. Yuck. But, yes, he did seem like a pretty cool guy, at least on the surface..

beachluvin said...

luvmytwins said:
"The minute he said they (or K) wanted to adopt I knew exactly what she was up to....."

Oh you know it, she's got her eye on the family in Egypt that had the septuplets. I'm not implying that the family is putting their kids up for adoption, but they are a poor family and if they did consider it, It would be dream come true for Kate, she could send the tups to Kindergarten while she raises the seven at home with the crew on board to film. She would have to double the 8000 square foot house to accommodate her 15 kids, double her staff, but hey that means more $$ which equals more spa days for Kate.

All kidding aside, unless it is a private adoption, I doubt if any adoption court would allow a child to be adopted into a family that is filmed the way they are. I really don't understand why Kate would want another child, she complains so much about how EXHAUSTED she is all the time, so now she wants to bring an innocent child into the insanity?

LBP said...

At the twins conference, Jon seemed nice enough to me. I actually caught him in the lobby that morning and he let me take a pic with him.

As for "NEWMOM08" comment:

35 minute blab which is regurgitation of the opening of their show...

He actually spoke for a solid hour. The first 30 minutes was a speech which included the top 10 questions they are asked. One of them included that they paid for their custom van themselves. He definitely seemed a little on the defensive side about their perks. And the last 30 minutes was a Q&A. Someone asked a question about how they are paid for the show (not how much specifically, just how it all works) and unfortunately the woman who was holding the microphone for people let someone else ask a question as he was answering. A bunch of us said "whoaaa, he didn't answer." But this seemed to be the interruption he needed to sidestep the question effectively. There were several of us that were very disappointed because we were curious to hear what he had to say. At the end when he told us about the $20 pics/autographs he prefaced it with "No we don't get paid $65,000 per episode and we don't have college funds yet." So this was the purpose of the $20, according to Jon.

Anonymous said...

I do wish they'd stop with the frick fracking college fund crap. Heck, if any of them need a college education it's JON. Then he might learn how to get a job and actually hold a job for more then a year or two.
There are plenty of ways for kids to pay for college they don't need to peddle old photos to pay for college and by the way since they've been selling them every where they go why aren't they adding those monies to the TAP accounts? I must make sure to not accidently wonder into one of their speaking engagements because I'd not be able to hold my tongue. Save us now!

Anonymous said...

I think the woman holding the microphone did that on purpose. Trust me.

What really, really pissed me off about the $20 was that I diverted money from The Jimmy Fund, which so deserves it. Really, I watched one of the women SOOOOO EXCITED because she got a lame ass postcard with his signature for twenty dollars!!! I wanted to smack her upside the head and say "HEY, children are dying of cancer." She and many others were really starstruck.

One of the things Jon said was funny, funny... He said that people (when they are out without children) ask them "Where are the kids?" And their favorite response is "We left them at your house with Sharpie markers!!!" Ha, Ha. I get a good laugh.

Then I come home, dig around (cause my BS sensor was on too!), find all these nutty blogs and realize that they are SPONSORED BY SHARPIE. I nearly tossed my cookies. God, isn't advertising insidious. I keep wondering if he got paid extra for that little blurb.

Linda said...

I wonder if I'm able to write Governor Rendell to inquire about college accounts established for the Gosselin children. I think it's important that if there is any misrepresentation on KON's part, the providers of this account should be aware.

Someone is lying about the accounts...the government of PA or KON.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
I do wish they'd stop with the frick fracking college fund crap. Heck, if any of them need a college education it's JON.

Seriously, they really need to stop. I know it's natural for parents to want their kids to do better than themselves, but according to other posts they say the kids don't have college funds yet. Even with all of the money they've made. That's ridiculous. Those kids will have to do like I did and pay for college themselves.

FIONA said...

Well that sucks...I just bought a new pack of the clickable ones. I will never be able to use a Sharpie with a clear conscience again. :)

I do wonder the REAL reason Kate was a no show????

Anonymous said...

"No we don't get paid $65,000 per episode and we don't have college funds yet."

So is he publicly stating that the TAP accounts established by the Govenor of PA have never and to this day do not exist ? If I recall, the Govenor's statement included specific instructions on how to donate monies to the account. Which more than likely many immediately did. I would be very curious to know where and how the money that people donated specifically for said account was allocated and where the money is now.

Travis said...

Anonymous said...

Then I come home, dig around (cause my BS sensor was on too!), find all these nutty blogs and realize that they are SPONSORED BY SHARPIE.



AWESOME. Now I can no longer buy

1. Sharpie
2. Gap
3. Banana Republic
4. Obermeyer
5. Anything at Dick's Sporting Goods (rollerblades and golf clubs)
6. So cool mom
7. Em Tanner Designs
8. Walmart (sponsor)
9 J&J (sponsor)
10. Juicy Juice
11 Ann Taylor Loft
12. Gymboree

Lordy Be! If they make it to J. Crew stick a fork in me. I have no place else to shop. I'm also leery of Target since Collin balanced something in a Target bag on his head once.

LBP said...

I'm a little confused about the TAP fund everyone keeps mentioning. Did the governer of PA open one up for their kids when they were born? If not, I don't see why it is assumed that they have one?

Serena said...

QUESTION: I'm a little confused about the TAP fund everyone keeps mentioning. Did the governer of PA open one up for their kids when they were born? If not, I don't see why it is assumed that they have one?

ANSWER: Pennsylvania Lt. Governor Knoll, at the Gosselin sextuplets' first birthday party on May 12, 2005, announced: "I am opening accounts for all eight of the Gosselin children through the Tuition Account Program, which I had a hand in creating when I served as Pennsylvania State Treasurer.".

luvmytwins said...

"He actually spoke for a solid hour."
Seriously?? Not to be contentious but I KNOW I looked at my watch and it was 1:30 and I said to my husband
WTF?? He's only speaking for 1/2 hour? The luncheon was listed as running from 12-2. By 2:15 I was requesting my car from valet... Sooo... maybe 45 minutes?? Really, I am not trying to be contentious here.
And I too thought he seemed nice like a pretty nice guy.

nofantasy said...

FASCINATING about the infertility fears. Certainly we can't known for sure, but that's the best explanation for Kate's "I always thought I'd have fertility issues" I've heard so far.

linnea said...

Wonderful post Katherine! You handled a delicate subject with great sensitivity.

You brought up something that has always been troubling to me. Going back to when the tups were born, I have also felt the Gosselins were emulating the McCaugheys. It seemed that J&K were very well aware of the donations made to the McCaugheys and were intent on making sure they received the same. According to an article on LHJ.com, the McCaughey septuplets have been promised scholarships at three different colleges. Kon talks about the lack of college funds ALOT, just like back when the tups were newborns they peppered every interview with numerous mentions of their need for a 12 passenger van. (I was glad to read here they had to *gasp!* buy it!) As mentioned above, the Lt. Governor opened eight TAP funds for the G kids when the tups turned one. It appears she opened them so the public could donate to the funds, since no mention was made of PA putting any money in them. I'm thinking very few donations happened since this announcement came around the same time as nursegate. If this is the case and there's not much money in any of the funds, we could then assume that Kon would use their large income they now receive for each episode to fund their children's college educations. But where's the sport in that? It looks like free college for eight kids is the prize they have their eye on now. Kon is crunched for time now, I'm sure they were hoping some college or university would have come forward by now with scholarship offers while they're still living under the pretense that they are regular folks, pinching their pennies.

When I read that Kate would like to adopt I almost fell out of my chair. Do they really want to add another child to their family or is this just a nifty idea for an epi. "Jon and Kate go to China and adopt a nice, clean, un-icky GIRL." Between this wish to adopt and claiming they want to homeschool, it seems they are trying to ensure Figure 8 and TLC will have plenty of material to keep the gravy train flowing.

LBP said...

luvmytwins said...
"He actually spoke for a solid hour."
Seriously?? Not to be contentious but I KNOW I looked at my watch and it was 1:30 and I said to my husband
WTF?? He's only speaking for 1/2 hour?


Really? I'm pretty sure he began speaking at 1:00. His 10 questions took about 1/2 hour and then he answered questions for another 1/2 hour. I didn't stand in the line to meet him afterward and when I went to the workshop on twins in school it was already in full swing. And this was after making a quick stop to the bathroom. The workshop began at 2:15. I also remember thinking, an hour seems fair. Either way, it was definitely more than a half hour.

Anonymous said...

LBP and Luvmytwins... Can't recall the time, but like didn't Jon use the word like, like, at least a billion times. Like really!

Nice, but somewhat immature, especially as he spoke.

Hey, I'm older than him, so I bought Sharpies before he did. And I'm not stopping now. Neither would I stop going to Target because of them! The joke just became less funny, you know, like...

Anonymous said...

Why should the public feel obligated to send the G's children to college. With the money they make now minus the love offerings they could send each child to college at least twice. Why dont they target the sponsors to give them college money instead of the church going public. Some of the church goer's do not know how they are going to send their own children to college, let alone give money to the G's kids.
The nerve of this couple is simply unreal. I think what they are doing is ludacris. The trips, their relationship with one another is over the top and should not be broadcasted on television. I find that as the children get older they are getting harder to watch. Their behavior with the hitting, and being disrespectful to adults is outrageous.
Who wants to watch a group of smart mouthed children talk back to adults? I sure dont. After the beach episode you can tell that the children are starting to take on the personality's of the parents and it does not look good on them.

Anonymous said...

Friday schedule...luncheon 12:30 to 2:30. Workshops 2:45 to 3:45. Workshops started about five minutes late. As a keynote, it didn't cost us (members) MORE to have him speak. Unfortunately, it did cost the organization.

Kris said...

I would love to attend one of their lectures. As I think about them getting so much for free because of Kate's magic uterus it sickens me. They are so far removed from reality it's alarming.

For all of the "fans" who believe these idiots need anything other than a giant kick in the ass, think about giving to people who are really in need. How about all of the families that are still displaced because of Hurricane Katrina. Entire families are squeezed into tiny FEMA trailers. These people did nothing to deserve this. Why are these people any less deserving of our help? I also think of the people in California who have lost their homes to mudslides and wild fires. They have nothing. No roof over their heads, no car, or cars in their driveways. No one is giving them free trips to the OBX, Disney, Colorado. Why do Jon and Kate think they deserve anything.

While watching TV with my dad, who is 77, J $ K came on. His first reaction to their couch interview was " Who are these miserable people?"

He's never seen the show so I explained they are a family blessed with 8 healthy children. They live in a beautiful home in Pa. Both parents are healthy Dad and they drive 2 nice vans.

He asked "What's the problem then, why are they on TV." All I could think to say without getting into everything wrong with these two was:

"Well dad, these 2 want the American public to support them because they have a large family. They don't work, they live off their cute children and money they get from telling churches they have no money."

He said to me:"Well, when I was growing up we would have said they were living the American Dream." "Eight kids isn't even that many!"

I sat there and laughed b/c he's from a family of 13. They lived on a farm with 2 working parents in a 4 bedroom house. They had everything they needed he said, especially parents who really loved them.

Moons in Leo said...

Love offering? I would think that's something prostitutes receive.

sabrinasmom said...

Love offering? I would think that's something prostitutes receive.

Exactly.

Anonymous said...

Travis said: Now I can no longer buy

1. Sharpie
2. Gap
3. Banana Republic
4. Obermeyer
5. Anything at Dick's Sporting Goods (rollerblades and golf clubs)
6. So cool mom
7. Em Tanner Designs
8. Walmart (sponsor)
9 J&J (sponsor)
10. Juicy Juice
11 Ann Taylor Loft
12. Gymboree
======
And I am no longer purchasing: Aveeno, Neutrogena, Tylenol, Lubriderm, Band-Aids, and Listerine (all from Johnson & Johnson). I especially love all the Aveeno products but am finding others not made by Johnson & Johnson to use instead.

Anonymous said...

Lots of speakers charge churches and other organizations a speaker's fee and some of them will only do large venues. However, for the most part, those people have something to say that is really life changing. I really can't imagine that this crazy woman and her lazy bum of a husband that she controls would have one thing to say that would warrent 25K or a "love offering."

Anonni said...

First, this post is very insightful on how religion may have influenced "our heroine" Kate. As for her, her application of her faith is very selective while she lectures her global audience. Haven't the preacher scandals of the past taught people to have one little iota of skepticism about those who, uh, preach? I'd especially be suspicious when they're telling, whether by subtle or overt means, to give $$$$$ until it hurts because it'll get you to the better place in the hereafter.

Second, this KON-trived idea about having a new adopted baby on the show screams "We're desperate to distract the public from all the, uh, other things!" To me it just Jumps the Shark like a new cast, er, family member's a big old band-aid on the festering, maggot-filled controversy.

Anonymous said...

Honestly, reading the "Our Story" part of the Gosselin's website, I get the impression that Kate sees herself as a modern day "virgin mary" who is god's chosen one. Like he came to her in a dream and told her everything would be alright, etc...

luvmytwins said...

Anonymous said...

"Friday schedule...luncheon 12:30 to 2:30. Workshops 2:45 to 3:45. Workshops started about five minutes late. As a keynote, it didn't cost us (members) MORE to have him speak. Unfortunately, it did cost the organization."

Thanks for clarifying. I just know, IMHO, it didn't feel like it was very long. I don't think anyone said we paid more to see him? Maybe I stand corrected, whatever. I do know, however, that I personally spent quite a bit to GET TO THE FUNCTION to see him. And dragged my poor husband there who took time off of work b/c I was so in love w/ this family (fault of my own, totally, I know). So thats all:)

Anonymous said...

Well $25,000 for a speaking engagement sounds average to me.

I'm in Canada and last Winter I tried to start a speaker series at my university campus. There were "famous" Canadian people charging $15,000-$50,000 for 30 minutes to 1 hr. appearances - part of the money was to cover flight, car rentals, hotel, food, and some tourist attractions (about 10-15% of speaker fee goes toward that). What ever was left over they got to keep themselves. I also encountered some non-famous people who supposedly were "up and coming" stars but really haven't done much (heard about them through the word of mouth), and they were charging $5,000-$20,000 for 1 hr. appearances.

Celebrities make money from their tours. Jon and Kate are doing it too. But it sounds to me that their tour is profiting from the use of their supposed Christian background and God. But really, haven't they ever heard of luck?

Anonymous said...

The adoption thing does not suprise me at all. At various times in the series, Kate as made comments and Jon will say, "We are not having any more children."

Now think about the episode when they ordered the new beds. Kate demanded they order the ones with trundle underneath ... and Jon, once again, said, "Kate, we aren't having any more children." And, once again, Kate threw her hand up and refused to listen saying they needed that extra sleeping space.

It's inevitable ... whether by adoption or an "accidental" miracle conception ... I'd bet we'll see more children in this household before it's over. If nothing else, she can go adopt twins or triplets from a third world country and tell the world how she was touched by God to "save" these poor, unfortunate souls.

JKaz said...

Just for kicks, I have emailed both the PA Governor's office and the office that handles TAP accounts to ask how to contribute to the Gosselin accounts. I'll post back if I hear anything.

funkycatt said...

I mean no offense to Jon and Kate, but the last thing they need is more kids. Maybe them adopting is an example of an internet rumor grown out of control. I seriously hope so.

It seems to me that it is really hard to meet the emotional needs of 6 kids who are the same age. Add to that the twins, and Kate's exhaustion, please don't adopt another baby, Jon and Kate.

luvmytwins said...

Its not a rumor. I heard Jon say it myself, as did my husband and the other 498 people in the audience. Unfortunately...

LBP said...

funkycatt said...
I mean no offense to Jon and Kate, but the last thing they need is more kids. Maybe them adopting is an example of an internet rumor grown out of control. I seriously hope so.

Nope, not a rumor. I heard it from Jon too at the twins convention.